| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 8:54:11 PM | | this guy i'm talking to claims he likes girls that r independent, and when i want to do something independent he always stops me and tells me do things his way, i am really confused. If he likes independent women why does he tell me what to do all the time? | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 8:59:02 PM | | He likes telling independent women what to do. It's simple. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 8:59:40 PM | | He probably means independence that you can take care of yourself and pay for yourself but still wants to do things he likes to do with you. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:01:52 PM | | noo he went so far to the point he would pick out the what clothes i should be wearing or what kind lotion or shampoo i should be using | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:02:40 PM | | maybe he means someone who isnt clingy and can have their alone time.. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:04:28 PM | | Maybe cause his way IS the better way of doing something and you just dont see that. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:07:55 PM | | well i wasnt talking about his ways were better or not, my question was if he likes independent women why is he stopping me from being independent | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:14:25 PM | | So he is telling you what to do and how to dress? Sounds very controlling but still likes independent women maybe because they are hard to control and is more of a challenge for him which makes independent women more interesting. Still I think you should not accommodate his controlling demands and just keep searching for a more considerate man to date. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:29:34 PM | | If you are that independent, then you should just stop his advances and claim you independence back. Whats stopping you? | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:31:45 PM | talk is cheap. who cares what he says? it's his actions that count, and how you feel about them. since you're unsettled enough to be here posting about it , you don't feel so good about them, right? so what are you gonna do about these feelings?
by the way, love the photo where you're noooooooottttt qqquuuuuiiiiiiiitttteeee pointing to your t|ts | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 9:50:50 PM | | It could be that dependent, clingy women pose no challenge for his controlling nature. Maybe he sees independent women as a type of challenge. It's all about him. You OK with that? | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:09:05 PM | Guy Talk:
Independent = Self-maintaining, pays her own rent, clothes, food, entertainment money; does not apply to how you behave, only how you survive
OP, you didn't say if you liked or didn't like being ordered around. You didn't say if your thought you were independent or not. My guess is that he indeed wants you to be "independent" (read definition) but in regards to your personality, he wants you to be a good Barbie and let him dress you up and dress you down.
Listen to the song by Prince, "If I Was Your Girlfriend"
If I was your girlfriend
Would U let me dress U
I mean, help U pick out your clothes
Before we go out
Not that you're helpless
But sometimes, sometimes
Those are the things that bein' in love's about
EDIT: Lil - if he wears short-shorts and tight-t's better than you, then it is HE that YOU should be doubting... | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:17:19 PM | | well the problem i have is i feel really stupid bc he always does everything so much better than me, i start to have doubts in myself. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:31:44 PM | | Independence can mean different things to different people... often in that context I'd guess guys just don't want a 'clingy' girl. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:36:33 PM | | Because he doesn't really like independent women. Maybe he thinks he does, or maybe he is saying that to impress you. Either way, he doesn't. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:43:24 PM | He says he likes independant women to cover up the fact that he's a control freak.
As you can tell,it just gets really hard to disguise later on. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 10:50:03 PM | well the problem i have is i feel really stupid bc he always does everything so much better than me, i start to have doubts in myself.
Mademoiselle, your choice in clothes or your favorite shampoo is a matter of preference and not intelligence. You should simply ask him to back off or stand up for yourself/choices. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:15:48 PM | Some people are insecure and only feel important if the other person is dependant on them. I think thats whats happening here. It's a little weird to tell a woman what to wear and what shampoo to use...
You could do one of three things.
Dump him.
Talk to him about the issue and tell him he's being a little too controling.
Tell him he's being controlling but negotiate on this issue on whats okay for him to have a say in and what isn't.
If you choose one of the last two and things don't work well. Whatever you choose beyond this I'll leave to you. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:48:01 PM | | He's being a hypocrite. He doesn't want an independent woman because he's trying to control you. Actions speak louder than words. | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/14/2009 12:57:53 AM | Independence is a pretty flexible term. Maybe he likes women who are financially independent so he get tell them to buy him things.
Are you telling him to do anything your way? A solid relationship requires compromise and negotiation. Otherwise, who cares what he likes? | |
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| independence?
Posted: 10/14/2009 1:42:12 AM |
If he likes independent women why does he tell me what to do all the time?
Pick one:
a) your definition of "independent" and his are different
b) he lied | |
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