| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 2:55:03 AM | | There is a tv programme coming up soon about children who want to change sex.One of the children is only 8 years old!Do you think a child of 8 is ready to make the decision to change sex?How would you deal with it if your child told you they wanted to change sex from boy to girl or vice versa?Your thoughts and views please. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 3:04:30 AM | I think it would depend, If the child was born with ambiguous genitalia, its better at this age than deciding wrongly at birth what sex the child should be as has happened in the past.
However a hormone test is I believe done in these cases, so I'm assuming its a child who is suffering from emotional problems about their sexuallity, I would say this is very young to be allowing a child to make this huge step, how tragic for the child and family. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 4:30:49 AM |
I think it would depend, If the child was born with ambiguous genitalia, its better at this age than deciding wrongly at birth what sex the child should be as has happened in the past.
However a hormone test is I believe done in these cases, so I'm assuming its a child who is suffering from emotional problems about their sexuallity, I would say this is very young to be allowing a child to make this huge step, how tragic for the child and family.
I agree with Pandora.
A child like this needs lots of therapy and support in order for any informed decision to be made when it's old enough to do so. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 5:20:19 AM | I just cannot get my head round this..
I totally agree with Pandoras post..
I just feel that when Adults who have had all the counseling and help towards changing gender, and then find after the change they were wrong, how on earth could a child come to an informed decision, they do not, imho have the mental ability to do so ..
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:10:32 AM | At 8 years of age, this isn't somthing that has been well planned and thought out because the mind is too immature.
My daughter went through the stage at 7 of wishing she was a boy, now at 8 shes likes being a girl but insists shes a tomboy. I am sure by next year that will have changed again. She has already said she wants pink bedroom carpet.
I dont agree with this on the basis that an 8 year old child does not understand themselves yet and can change their mind so flippantly.
EDIT VVV yes mine did that too, we cut it in a bob during the 'wish I was a boy stage' and now shes in competition with her sister on whose is the longest! (its mid back length now) | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:19:15 AM |
My daughter went through the stage at 7 of wishing she was a boy, now at 8 shes likes being a girl but insists shes a tomboy
Mine went through a similar phase, but that turned out to be about her hair being too long and it getting tangled in a morning, she's fine since I had it bobbed for her.
Someone must be really getting into these poor childrens heads for them to even be aware of gender reassignment, and that makes me wonder for who's benefit it is being done. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:21:41 AM |
how on earth could a child come to an informed decision, they do not, imho have the mental ability to do so ..
Is gender identity an informed decision for any of us, is it some thing we can pick or chose? IMO, I think it's something we just know. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:44:32 AM |
Is gender identity an informed decision for any of us, is it some thing we can pick or chose? IMO, I think it's something we just know.
Possibly, however at the age of 8, I find it hard to comprehend..
I still think time and maturity should be a major factor ..
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:54:16 AM | | If you listen to people that are like this they say that they knew from an early age they were different and want to be a certain way. Alot of talking should take place but its a difficult one. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 7:00:58 AM |
Give me the boy of 7 and I will show you the woman !!!
OT No doubt the kind of parents who allow their kids to go along with this kinda thing are the same parents that all too readily write their kids off with other labels like ADHD, or Aspergers for plain naughty behaviour .
How can a child of 8 make such serious decisions when they can't even decide which football team they support from one day to the next because their team may be losing???? | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 9:00:43 AM | | anyone who wants to change their sex has a deep psychological problem. Also, you would only be doing it visibley.. no matter how hard they try to be the other gender.. their genes and DNA will state otherwise.. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 10/14/2009 12:22:55 PM |
Do you think a child of 8 is ready to make the decision to change sex?
A child who is old enough to say that they think that they are the wrong sex and maintain that stance is certainly to be treated seriously in my opinion. The decision isn't made for any lasting changes until they are at least 18 in the UK, so there is plenty of time for that statement to be tested.
Gender dysmorphism is a real phenomenon, attributed to the neurotransmitters in the brain being of the opposite gender to the physical DNA, and I would have no hesitation about getting a child of mine seen by a specialist within the NHS if it was more than a passing fancy. I would certainly not want to force my child into unhappiness.
How would you deal with it if your child told you they wanted to change sex
Personally behind closed doors or with the child?
With the child I would support every step they chose to take, interpreting the medical-speak if necessary to ensure my child understood and was in a position to make an informed choice, a decison based on a comprehension of all the facts that could be garnered.
I would try to contact other young transsexual people to enable my child to talk to someone else who was unhappy in their body to let them know they weren't alone.
Personally - I would try to take time to say goodbye, with gratitude for the time I had been given, to the child I knew and I would learn to love the new child I had been given. I would be thankful that modern medicine has enabled such unhappy people to be helped to fulfilling and contented lives.
And I would join the fight against ill-informed people who cannot see that our bodies may not be the one our mind is equipped to live in, and I would continue to believe that we can be whoever and whatever we want to be in order to find our true life. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 11/6/2009 9:46:57 PM | Anniesea nailed it.
Gender identity is something you know, deep down, from an early age. It's not a phase, not a psychological derangement. It's like a birth defect, when gender identity does not match the physical body.
For all of you born in the correct body, take a minute to think about spending every minute of every day pretending you're the opposite gender, and that everyone treats you as the opposite gender, and expects you to act like the opposite gender. It's mentally exhausting, anxiety inducing etc. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:03:11 AM | | Msg:12 Is an eloquent and logical expression on how I'd feel about it too. There was an interview recently with a young German child who'd felt in the wrong sex since the age 5 and had been given an early re-alignment at 14 - the kid, post op, seemed grounded bright and happy. Having worked with someone who changed gender I feel a lot more sympathetic towards people in this dilema, though I think I'd worry about their ability to find a partner in later life if it were one of my kids. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:30:31 AM |
How would you deal with it if your child told you they wanted to change sex from boy to girl or vice versa?Your thoughts and views please. The process of self-discovery, including sexuality, is not as straightforward for some kids as for others. That's not a big deal, it's called growing up.
But for an eight year old to be encouraged to "change sex" by his parents is just insane. Never mind the boy, what's their problem? Is he a great disappointment to them, being born male? Did they dress him in pink and give him dolls to play with? There is something very not right going on here because even if they aren't the cause of his confusion, no parent in their right mind would allow an eight year old to be deconstructed and rebuilt. He is absolutely not old enough to know himself sufficiently to make that decision and there are plenty of kids his age who are confused/worried about gender and most figure it out in their own time.
And anyway, where did he get the idea of "becoming" a girl in the first place? You can't tell me he thought that up on his own. If it were up to me I'd leave him to sort it out when he's old enough to know, and in the meantime I'd sterilise his parents so they can't fcuk up any more kids. | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:32:15 AM | i find this topic extremely interesting, as I know of a child who although born a boy, has always, since being a toddler has behaved as a girl. He was always naturally drawn to girls toys and clothes, insisted on having a fairy dress in his dressing up box...he is now 5 yrs old and has very effeminate mannerisms and characteristics, pesters his mum to paint his nails and put make up on him, and if she won't, attempts to do it himself.
The family have just humoured him, thinking it's a "phase" that he will grow out of....they thought that when he started school he would change, but so far he hasn't.
He has an older brother so it's not as if he has no male influences around him.....I have often wondered whether he could possibly be a true transgendered child, or, could it be that perhaps in wanting a girl the second time around, the mother has influenced his behaviour in the way she has treated him since birth? | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:38:30 AM | The family have just humoured him, thinking it's a "phase" that he will grow out of. I think that's absolutely the right thing to do. If he still feels the same way when he's mature enough to make a decision that will have far-reaching consequences for the rest of his life, fine, it'll be up to him then
could it be that perhaps in wanting a girl the second time around, the mother has influenced his behaviour in the way she has treated him since birth? Quite. Which is why the parents must NOT make such a monumental decision on his behalf. The only sane thing to do is wait until he's old enough to decide for himself.
The cynic in me is tempted to wonder... would the parents of the eight year old boy be so eager to have their child altered if the child was the girl they wanted, but at the age of eight she said she wanted to be a boy? | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 11/7/2009 1:53:23 AM | Yes I agree that the family are doing the right thing. It could also be an attention seeking stragegy which is also best ignored in my opinion, just let him get on with it and don't make a big deal out if it would seem the best thing to do.
My father has a theory that a lot of effeminate behaviour in young boys/men these days is learnt....almost a fashion statement ...he also blames kids tv because he says it's not natural to have grown men mincing about in bold primary colour clothes ! LOL bless him :) | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:25:37 AM |
Did they dress him in pink and give him dolls to play with? There is something very not right going on here
Oh, my goodness, I have read some sexist writings in my time but surely this takes the biscuit?
Hands up any man who owns a pink shirt or a pink tie. Does wearing it take away from your masculine identification? No. So why should a boy wearing an item of pink clothing be any different?
Hands up any parent who has given their boy an Action Man or Batman or Lego figure to play with. Aren't they all dolls too? Playing with dolls is not a feminine trait, just as tree-climbing and playing football isn't a masculine trait.
And gender dysmorphism isn't just confined to boys.
Gender identification is a major personality trait, that develops in the first 2 yrs of life, and is 'fixed' by the 3rd yr.
Source: McGraw-Hill Concise Dictionary of Modern Medicine.
As they say, it's all in the mind - but physically, in the way the brain is wired from birth and in the way it responds to neurotransmitters.
no parent in their right mind would allow an eight year old to be deconstructed and rebuilt
In the UK that isn't possible. Surgery here isn't permitted until a person is 18.
The only sane thing to do is wait until he's old enough to decide for himself.
And at what age is that? A two-year old child can differentiate between girls and boys. Should we condemn a person who knows that they are the wrong gender to go through puberty and develop all the chromosomal-induced sexual characteristics which by the age of 18 cannot be reversed? Look up the age of puberty in the UK and how it is coming down.
trend in recent years for puberty to occur much earlier than it has in the past. It is not uncommon today to find girls as young as 10 years of age, or younger beginning their menstrual cycles. This so-called precocious puberty seems to be a growing trend not only in the UK but also worldwide. In fact doctors now consider the average age worldwide for the bringing on of puberty as 8 years old. Early onset or precocious puberty has been reported in girls as young as five years old. Medication can delay that onset and give a child time to decide where in the gender spectrum they will be happy to live.
For most of us, it is a question we will never have to deal with, but sometimes in these forums we are asked to think about what we would do in a certain situation. The OP asked:
Do you think a child of 8 is ready to make the decision to change sex? How would you deal with it if your child told you they wanted to change sex from boy to girl or vice versa?
Whatever our opinion of the transgender issue - is it possible to exist? Is it likely? Is it moral? - would we really deal with our own child with such condemnation? | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 11/7/2009 2:32:53 AM | I have a friend with this condition, she is famale but considers herself to be male, it's not been a passing fancy and she's felt this way her whole life. If she'd been given the choice at 8 to 'swap' genders, she'd have jumped at the chance. As it is she's spent all of her adult life undergoing therapy, feeling depressed, confused, self-harming, attempted to take her own life and having difficulties with relationships. It has nothing to do with her upbringing, she has siblings of either sex who don't share this condition which, surely, they would if this were the case.
I'm sure you can tell the difference between a child who has a constant issue with their gender and one who goes through a phase - lasting a week or a month. People who say, 'oh snap out of it' obviously have had no contact with individuals who live in this constant turmoil.
H.x | |
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| Transgender Children
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:09:02 AM | | I think its a hang up older people have to be normal a friend of my daughters is now having treatment to change. but while growing up all her friends accepted her as a boy. It was the parents who had the problems think we should listen more to our kids. | |
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