| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:32:43 AM | This is October 2009.
In a current thread, many women have been jumping all over a man who had wined and dined a woman for awhile, because was complaining that she didn't give him sex. Many of the women's replies told the man that if he expected sexual favors in return for dining and entertaining this woman, that he should get a Prostitute.
My opinion is that any woman who's surprised, and angry that a man who's been wining and dining her for awhile might likely anticipate having sex with her, isn't living in the real world for this date and age.
Yes, I've dated women with money, and those without... and it's always been understood that I don't date women to be friends with them, because I have female friends that are just that. And I don't wine and dine my female friends.
A lot of women would be VERY UPSET, if a man had been wining and dining her for awhile, and the man did NOT anticipate sex. A lot of women would wonder why the man did not desire them for sex. Most women would walk away unsatisfied from that situation. So, to all of you women flamers who feel that the man should get a Prostitute in this situation.... WHAT SHOULD A WOMAN DO IF THEIR ROLES WERE REVERSED IN THIS SITUATION ??
Most women DO put a lot of effort into getting ready for a date... they use make up, wear bras to show maximum breast appeal, dye their hair, and look as appealing as they can for a man. WHY DO YOU THINK IT'S COMMONLY CALLED SEX APPEAL ???
If a man, or woman's profile says DINNER COMPANION ONLY, then it spells out the terms of what he and she are looking for, and expecting.
In this day and age, most men anticipate having sexual relations with a woman that they have been wining and dining, within a month or 2. They anticipate it, and most women probably do as well. SEX is part of a healthy relationship. Sex is passion, expression,communication, trust, excitement, and so much more. It's not the 1950's any longer... and how a woman sexually responds to a man says a lot about their compatibility.
Let's hear your thoughts ! | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:40:40 AM | I'm interested in what people have to say about this as well.
I figure if I'm DATING someone (at least at this age) I'm
trying the guy on and hoping it will turn into a relationship
which in turn will be a sexual relationship.
I don't get all this non-sexual stuff.
I can make friends with guys whenever I want....and I do.
But I don't "date" my friends.
I don't really look at sex as a prize or a reward...I look at it
as a mutually satisfying experience.
I suspect I'll be single FOREVA.
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:47:15 AM | Why would you feel that you suspect that you'll forever be single ?
From the way you express what you are hoping to find, it sounds realistic, healthy and attainable to me. Of course, now all you need is a willing partner with similar values and mind set : ) | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:47:52 AM |
My opinion is that any woman who's surprised, and angry that a man who's been wining and dining her for awhile might likely anticipate having sex with her, isn't living in the real world for this date and age. Don't blame this "date and age" for your or his lack of morals. Not all men expect sexual favors as a part of dating. With STD's and so many people with extreme personality disorders, sleeping with someone within 30-60 days is not only stupid but dangerous.
Your free and easy way of thinking may have been "cool" a generation ago, but these days, sex with the wrong person can cause life-long damage, if not death. Men who think like you are as common as dirt. Some women are seeking more evolved, intelligent men with stronger character. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:50:49 AM | " these days, sex with the wrong person can cause life-long damage, if not death. "
So has stepping out in front of a car.
There are ways to prevent death in either situation... don't step out in front of a car, and DO get tested for STD's. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:53:09 AM | In this "day and age" who seriously starts a sexual
relationship WITHOUT being tested and expecting
your partner to be tested as well?
That's what grown ups do.
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:53:53 AM | | ^^^ Yeah, what she said. As well I think you're on to something too. Women IMHO, want it just as much as you do, but it seems to me they want to be in the drivers seat as to when it happens. Fact of life, deal with it. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:55:14 AM | Browneyes , If you end up single foreva then I probably will too.
Seems we are looking fo the same things..
Good company and companionship is the prize.. Sex is nice too though..
How do we find what we want? | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:56:44 AM | Do whatever you want with your body, but don't try to convince everyone to live your lifestyle.
As for your "stepping out in front of a car" analogy-
12 million Americans each year contract an STD but only 42,636 people were killed by automobile-related injuries.
Your life, your body, your gamble. Have fun.
Edit:
From your profile, it doesn't sound like you are interested in dating, and that's where you are right now My profile states I have no interest in meeting anyone off a free internet dating site. That doesn't mean I'm not dating | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:00:59 AM | " Men who think like you are as common as dirt. Some women are seeking more evolved, intelligent men with stronger character. "
About your personal attack.... I thought you were above something like that.
From your profile, it doesn't sound like you are interested in dating, and that's where you are right now.
My origininal question remains, despite your unwarranted insults. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:02:40 AM | [In this "day and age" who seriously starts a sexual
relationship WITHOUT being tested and expecting
your partner to be tested as well?
That's what grown ups do.]
In many cases people say and believe they are clean when they are not. How can you drag someone who believes s/he is free from STDs to the clinic to get tested before having sex? Impossible! | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:07:31 AM | More proof that we are not as evolved as we like to think of ourselves.
The female with the best display attracts the males that then compete to show who is the best provider. The result is the best female and the best male get to do the horizontal mambo and pass on all these "best" genes. Of course that is how it is when sex is the sole purpose and intent.As an evolved species, we can think and reason and are not driven by instinct alone. The human animal is a social animal. and there is much more to our existence than bumping uglies and spawning.
Wining and dining a woman for a couple of months with the goal of separating her from her panties does not constitute a relationship. Therefore your claims that sex is important to a healthy relationship, though valid, do not apply to the scenerio you have put forth. I believe it's called "Putting the cart before the horse."
If a woman has been dating a man for a couple of months, with the thought that they may develop a relationship, just to find out he was only interested in a little nookie of course she may get offended. On the other hand, if a man gets upset because his intended mattress mate blocks his attempt at a field goal, it just shows that he does not respect her. Such displays tend to prove he was only interested in having sex, not in having a relationship. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:08:34 AM |
How can you drag someone who believes s/he is free from STDs to the clinic to get tested before having sex? Impossible!
They dont get tested, they don't get sex. Hello!
If they believe they are clean, no harm and no foul from being tested.
Why would you sleep with someone who refused to get tested? | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:08:44 AM | "How do we find what we want? "
You asked an honest question that I would like to attempt to answer. Your profile and what you write all indicate that you are looking for something that lasts.
I would remove the mention of your ex who beat you up... AND that she was 21 years old.
I'm born within 6 months of you, and no, I won't date a 21 yr old, even though I've been approached by them when I was 52. The reason I wouldn't date a 21 yr old, is because there's too many differences of life level experiences, and a 21 yr old won't meet most of my needs. They don't have 20 or 30 plus years of reflecting on what it was like to BE 21 yrs old : ) | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:10:24 AM | | The OP in the original thread needed to communicate what he wanted with the woman instead of whining to us. They had not been seeing each other for very long and he claimed total infatuation, obviously it did not go both ways. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:15:16 AM | The only man I ever allowed to "wine and dine" me was my ex-husband... after we were married.
Problem solved. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:16:55 AM | [They dont get tested, they don't get sex. Hello!
If they believe they are clean, no harm and no foul from being tested.
Why would you sleep with someone who refused to get tested?]
Hey, Let's get tested before we have sex or we get into the relationship.
Sounds very realistic to me lol and you can get stds even when you make out or fool around. so every time you and your potential partner need to get tested before you make out? | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:17:45 AM | " If a woman has been dating a man for a couple of months, with the thought that they may develop a relationship, just to find out he was only interested in a little nookie of course she may get offended. On the other hand, if a man gets upset because his intended mattress mate blocks his attempt at a field goal, it just shows that he does not respect her. Such displays tend to prove he was only interested in having sex, not in having a relationship. "
Thank you for your respectful reply.
I agree with you, if a woman finds out that a man is ONLY interested in having sex with her, then she should be offended. I've never had a woman date me only for sex, but IF that were the case, I would end the relationship. Likewise, I've never dated a woman only for sex. | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:18:39 AM | Gone to the beach ,, You made some very good points.
When I made my profile I was not interested in dating anyone at all and was intending to chase everyone away...
The pain of my past has gone and I am now ready to get involved again...
I will amend my profile as you said as soon as I return from this next music fest..
I hope everyone finds what they are looking for..
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:21:41 AM | Sex is always a choice. Otherwise it is rape.
If you want sex and the woman does not then I suggest, you move on. Communicating your needs upfront can save a whole lot of time and expense. No one can take advantage of you without your permission! | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:22:58 AM |
The only man I ever allowed to "wine and dine" me was my ex-husband... after we were married.
Problem solved.
Exactly. Men should save their wallets for marriage. <img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
It's the only surefire way to avoid the many dishonest drink/dinner whores out there who are into sex-ploitation and committing date fraud.
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:23:45 AM | | oh brew ha ha...claim all you want about being tested ect....find the guy/gal that turns you on and after a few dates...MOST of the women claim to be so carefull..my ex! she said when I met her "I don't sleep around" no she did not...she broke up with a guy and waited her allotted time of four weeks before she slept with me...and she asked me if i wanted to go to bed! then when she broke up with me? four weeks then with the new guy...and this woman is a paragon of virtue around this town...so bull crap! if you get the urge then you get it...as for all the ones who won't? well, you do have your nice warm computer to keep you company at night | |
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| That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:31:58 AM |
Don't blame this "date and age" for your or his lack of morals. Not all men expect sexual favors as a part of dating. With STD's and so many people with extreme personality disorders, sleeping with someone within 30-60 days is not only stupid but dangerous.
Your free and easy way of thinking may have been "cool" a generation ago, but these days, sex with the wrong person can cause life-long damage, if not death. Men who think like you are as common as dirt. Some women are seeking more evolved, intelligent men with stronger character.
So men who act in the way you describe are more evolved, intelligent, and have stronger character than those who want sex after dating a few times? What grounds do you base your assumption on: IQ, earning power, degrees, time spent in missions, peace corp?
What I see you saying is that you "feel" that men that fit what you want are more preferable to you, and then you make a blanket condescending remark that has nothing to do with anything. | |
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