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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 10/16/2009 7:12:55 AM | | i have even had gals tell me that men tell them they are in between jobs, and when the truth comes out the guy has not worked in years. hmmmm. if that woman/man is not working, then who is supporting them? who is paying their bills? good work never hurt anyone. yes, i've been in the unfortunate position of losing a job. it sure is a crisis. but you pick yourself back up and try to find something, anything!! | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:20:54 AM | sure poor people need love too....buttttt where i come from, men pay for the dates....although i've been known to spring for an ice cream or two, a working man is so necessary....i've been the "poor" route, "man with no job" route, and it sucked....supporting myself and my kids are one thing, but i would not support a man again...uh uh no way j'ose  | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:15:01 AM | | Id say that love does make the world go round (at least it does the butterflies in your tummy! lol), but it does not pay the bills. Lack of the green stuff has played a huge part in many failed marriages/relationships. You dont need to be a Donald Trump, but you really do need to be able to stand on your own 2 feet, so yes, having a job is important (i think we all know these are hard times right now and lots are laid off but that is different to being 'profressionally' unemployed! lol) | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:26:23 AM | Well it's true poor people need love too.
However in my opinion some poor people should not set the bar or standards so high.
This ain't the Ritz or Wall street this is Michigan and the economy isn't so good right now. They ain't that many prince's in shining armor out here just as there ain't that many princess's out here either
As for some being professionaly unemployed, sad but true they are some out there.
However I have met and dated some professionals of a differant sort.
What I call kindness professional they are very kind untill you run short of money then it's the old this isn't working routine.
Of course this is after the flowers the movie the dinner you pay for. | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/7/2009 11:46:05 AM | Are you talking escort services?
It was my beleif that this was a dating service for people in search of companionship, relationship or love. not a way for people to make money.
My point is no person wants to put money into a lost cause.
I guess I'm still realing from the Women's Lib routine.lol.
When women said they wanted to be equal to men I was for it 100%.
You see I thought great now ladies can ask me out.
However I later discovered that ladies wanted to be equal to men but treated differantly.
Which is fine by me but sometimes" it depends on the individual od course" I as a hetrosexual male does not know what to do.
Should you open the car door or not should you pull the chair out for her .
Should you agree with most things a lady says.
Most men want to please a lady in speech and actions at least I do, but sometimes it can be difficult. | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/7/2009 4:31:28 PM | If you knew someone with no job, but they fit all your other criteria, would you seriously date them? Or just "fling" them???
Hmm, not sure what you mean, "fling" them. As in, out the door of a moving car?
I wouldn't be so harsh, the realities of the current economy have cut a wide path through people's lives.
That said, there is a difference between not having a job right now, and chronically being unable to hold a job. People who cannot hold a job have other issues that make them "undesirable" as partners (to me). Anyone can be in between jobs, but if they change jobs every year, something else is going on there. And they can find someone else to support them.
BTW, that is the way I feel regardless if we're talking male or female. Full time stay at home moms (and dads) have a job, a very hard one. Everyone else needs to be able and willing to take care of themselves. | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:28:00 AM | I understand that and in most cases itis true that ladies appreciate good manners and gestures but in todays society some become paranoid.
Even in just posting to talk some people are very cautious .
I'm sure you've heard the old saying "be careful dating on line".
Yet the first thing you are ask is "tell me about yourself"?
Do not misunderstand me I think one should be cautious, but must we walk on eggshells?
After being drafted to go to war , after 35 yrs on the assembly lines 3 houses and 2 trailers bought and sold and a car wreck a bad divorce and now in between part time jobs but an income, I concider myself an optomistic person.
Howver, one might see my profile and say not working huh, and move on to the next one..
Finding a good person to stand by you in todays societies is like trying to find job security in America risky at best.
However as for me I've always been a risktaker . | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:25:35 PM | I guess the problem here is:
At a time i'm financially at a deficit. Looking for love is a BAD idea. shouldn't I commit to a 2nd job..or work on making ends meet before i try to date?
If a man dates me.. and i complain about my reduced hours at my job.. and my lack of ability to pay bills... he gets scared i'm about to ask him for a loan?
or worse.. hes madly in like.. and tries everything to help me tho i do not know him. I will NOT fall in love with a "helper" type.
I prefer to be independent. YET have people to at least vent to. Dating.. and Venting do not go together. | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:04:03 PM |
or worse.. hes madly in like.. and tries everything to help me tho i do not know him. I will NOT fall in love with a "helper" type.
OO I hear ya here! This "helping" can be a double-edged sword. I like the feeling of my partner being supportive (emotionally), but when they try to take on all of my responsibilities it bothers me.
I've dated fellows who'd get angry with me when I didn't ask them for help, and when something came up that I could use their help with (not financial mind you), they'd be upset that I asked!
I prefer to be independent. YET have people to at least vent to. Dating.. and Venting do not go together.
Vent to your girlfriends (or here in the forums!). Guys do not usually do well with venting, even if you're in an established relationship. Still just dating, all you're gonna do is freak him out and stress him out. OR you could just call it "thinking out loud", but don't be surprised if he tries to tell you what to do to fix it. | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/9/2009 12:55:51 PM | I have a couple of questions about the last two post.
First of all if a lady talks like see needs assistance and if a man should ask if she needs assistance does that make the man one of these helper types?
After all the lady could simply decline his offer by saying no thanks could they not?
Second I can not speak for other hetrosexual males but as for me a lady venting her problems would not as you say freah me out.
It would only prove that the lady is human.
After all perfection is not a destination it is simply a journey. | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/9/2009 1:17:31 PM | | wolfjade, i kind of feel the same way. if i am with a woman, and she is upset over bills, and i offer her money or help, i am not trying to be a helper, but a good friend. and i expect if i am dating someone they can vent. don't we all vent? if you don't vent if something is bothering you, isn't that being totally fake?? | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/9/2009 1:49:10 PM |
First of all if a lady talks like see needs assistance and if a man should ask if she needs assistance does that make the man one of these helper types?... Second I can not speak for other hetrosexual males but as for me a lady venting her problems would not as you say freah me out.
I typically do not care for generalities, but this one has actually gotten support from authoritative sources, so I felt somewhat safe in stating this.
I think the difference here is your statement "talks like she needs assistance". As opposed to actually asking for assistance. Offering to help does not make you a bad person, but often guys want to fix a problem and the lady is still working it over in her mind. Women (in general) like to hash things out, sometimes over and over, not necessarily even looking for an "answer" yet. Girlfriends understand this, a few guys do too, but by and large guys would rather "fix" it than talk about it. | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/10/2009 11:37:22 AM | In responce to your statement in my opinion helping and "fixing are two seperate issues.
I guess I was unaware that I was a hetrosexual male minority.
I have ask ladies to help with my writers block on more than one occasion.
Some said yes some said no, I thanked them all and moved on
Perhaps I am looking at things differantly.
This is America one of the most generous nations in the world with some of the most generous people in the world.
To be independant and able to handle all problems is one thing to be alone in doing this is another.
Question,
Where's the line?
Can you become so independant of others that you become a hermit, a loner agrophobic? | |
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| Do you need income to have love??( Poor people need love too)
Posted: 11/10/2009 1:53:48 PM | Well.. this is the problem.
I had a b/f once who was mr helper fixer. Any problem i had he would "SURPRISE"
me with a fix.
i struggle with bills harder in the winter and worry i cant keep my pig filled.. this doesnt mean have it filled. Tho, all he really did that time was bring over kerosene. He left it on the porch.. i hadnt given him my address.. it really scared me. But hey.. i never date nice guys.. i will try to keep an open mind. I chose to date him anyways
Then,,, my car breaks down.. He runs out and buys me a car!!... mmm.. Any problem id bleat about he would try to fix. I tell him once fleetingly.. that i need to refinance my house and i wish i could afford to update it... He actually signed up for a Home Depot credit card and put my name on his extra one.
Now my last recent b/f, was the total opposite. I tell him Winter is coming and im worried how im going to fill my pig.. and he immediately acts like im asking him for a loan. Practically calls me a Loser. Im surprised he didnt make the L sign with his fingers. Yes.. Yes.. i stayed with him. I figured it was my mistake for talking out my fears. What a selfish man tho. But i did stay with that one longer than mr Helper guy eh?
All i ask is for a man to talk with me about it. Make no judgements.. NOR try to fix it.
I see a long term relationship as two people who love each other but DOES have the others "back"....Doesnt mean he has to spend money. But two people should take care of each other. | |
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