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| | A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?Page 1 of 20 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20) | Today, I read a woman's post, where she stated that she won't want sex from a man, who was waiting for the 3 date.
If someone who I thought MIGHT be a compatible woman told me up front, or thru writing a post, that if first or second date sex with me had not occurred, that there wouldn't be a 3 rd date, I'd be VERY uncomfortable. A lot of people, including me, don't go on dates to perform. Most women that I've known thru the years have had very STRONG opinions about this subject, as well as some women and men in these forums.
How many women, and men have not had sex by the end of their 2 nd date, and because of this, were turned down for a 3 rd date ?
If a woman expected no later than 2 nd date sex ( and we're not talking about how she might ANTICIPATE sex ) from me, I would feel that her statement was was very controlling, and that SHE was likely the same way. I'd also feel that she had HUGE expectations, and that she's not likely the type of woman who would take MY concerns and emotions into consideration, should I not be ready to " put out " by the end of the 2 nd date.
By the 2 rd date, a lot of people are still learning about their potential partner. By the 2 nd date, I want to know if a woman who interests me is stable, healthy, consistant, honest, affectionate, thoughtful, controlling, sharing, and yes, sexual. I don't want to date Danielle Drama, or Rachelle Rage.
A lot of people are looking for relationships, not something that they perceive as...sh*t or get off the pot by the end of the 2 nd date.
My question to everyone, MEN AND WOMEN... how would you feel if a potential partner told you, ( or you read in a Forum ) that this person would not wait for sex with you on a 3 rd date ? | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 10:58:31 AM | Well this is an interesting topic. Thanks for giving us something better to discuss today!
If someone who I thought MIGHT be a compatible woman told me up front, or thru writing a post, that if first or second date sex with me had not occurred, that there wouldn't be a 3 rd date, I'd be VERY uncomfortable.
Ok, you've made this statement but what does it mean. You'd be uncomfortable why? Because you feel sex SHOULD occur before or during the 3rd date?
Because you feel a woman who would write this means that if she hasn't had sex with a guy on date #1 or date #2 there won't be a 3rd date means that men are moving to slow sexually to please her?
I'm not clear.
If a woman expected no later than 2 nd date sex ( and we're not talking about how she might ANTICIPATE sex ) from me, I would feel that her statement was was very controlling, and that SHE was likely the same way. I'd also feel that she had HUGE expectations, and that she's not likely the type of woman who would take MY concerns and emotions into consideration, should I not be ready to " put out " by the end of the 2 nd date.
Well that clarifies!
I'd agree. Someone who felt that sex was a definite on date 1 or date 2 would be a man I would not have anything to do with further.
Maybe not for the same reasons you've arrived at, but certainly some that would be similar to your own.
By the 2 nd date, I want to know if a woman who interests me is stable, healthy, consistant, honest, affectionate, thoughtful, controlling, sharing, and yes, sexual.
Generally I'd prefer to know this before Date #1, because I'd feel I'd not done my homework if I didn't know it. That's how I judge and eliminate the bad fish from the good. I'm not wild about wasting my time meeting and first dating men who don't suit me in those ways PRIOR to dating them.
My question to everyone, MEN AND WOMEN... how would you feel if a potential partner told you, ( or you read in a Forum ) that this person would not wait for sex with you on a 3 rd date ?
I'd feel in my real life that they had just eliminated the chance they had at being considered a potential partner.
On POF?
They'd be blocked. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:03:24 AM | FotC says it best...
A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice, yes it's very nice.
Just because you've been exploring my mouth, Doesn't mean you get to take an expedition to the south
A kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice, yes it's very very nice
Just because we've been playing tonsil hockey. Doesn't mean you get to score the goal in my jockeys
Just because I'm in an acoustic folk band, It doesn't mean I only want poon-tang
I can't go around loving everyone, I just wouldn't get anything done
Oh because...
[ A Kiss Is Not A Contract Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]
I suspect everyone has there own speed.
However, by the end of a 2nd date I am not even sure I want a third... just have not met a man that I would want to be that intimate with after meeting only for a few hours.
It took me ages to decide what colour to paint, weeks, hours, even months...
maybe it has something to do with age?
or perhaps that woman had a LTR with a good man, but did not share any of the physical chemistry?
or she has an exceptionally high sex drive? who knows, but, does fit for most, I should hope. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:32:58 AM |
If someone who I thought MIGHT be a compatible woman told me up front, or thru writing a post, that if first or second date sex with me had not occurred, that there wouldn't be a 3 rd date, I'd be VERY uncomfortable.
Well, duh, what do you think all those women on "why do men only want sex" threads are ****ing about?! | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:38:22 AM | I would love to have the third date information up front; it would save me from having to go on the first date!
Its way too much pressure for me and honestly, the third date (while it could happen under the right circumstances) is certainly not my goal. For some it may be and that is fine, its just not what I’m seeking. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:45:16 AM | If someone who I thought MIGHT be a compatible woman told me up front, or thru writing a post, that if first or second date sex with me had not occurred, that there wouldn't be a 3 rd date, I'd be VERY uncomfortable.
" Well, duh, what do you think all those women on "why do men only want sex" threads are ****ing about?! "
Thanks for your thought.
This is the first time that I can ever remember hearing a woman essentially say.. put out by the end of the 2 nd date or you're out. And I think that a lot of men will state that THIS TYPE OF SEXUAL ROLE REVERSAL is a rarity. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:45:58 AM | I'm just trying to figure out why you are so obsessed with sex, and how long you have to wait for it. I think you've already been told before, if you want instant sex, go buy some.
I find it hysterical that you would find anyone else's behavior "controlling." She's controlling if she doesn't want it, she's controlling if she does. Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.
Edit: Farceur, how's that working out for you? | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:50:10 AM | | It's utter madness to go out with a woman before you have had sex with her. You would have no idea who she was. You could be getting yourself into all kinds of trouble. How would you be able to understand what she said or know if she was sincere? She could easily be tricking you into an emotional vortex of great confusion and need, with no interest in who you are sexually. To be used that way for her selfish emotional needs and then after weeks or months, find out she doesn't really want to sleep with you, well, bring that on yourself if you must but I know better. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 11:55:12 AM | My question to everyone, MEN AND WOMEN... how would you feel if a potential partner told you, ( or you read in a Forum ) that this person would not wait for sex with you on a 3 rd date ?
You mean they'd start without me?
hmmm...I wouldn't like the presupposition that he's the only one calling the shots. I'd probably be more inclined to tell him that there wouldn't even be a first date. It means, to me at least, that he thinks he's all that and a bag of chips when he's really not all that and a bag of chit. It would be the arrogance alone that would be a turn off, even if he's the sexiest looking guy going. That would be a quick read as an insight into his personality. I don't like the "my way or the highway attitude" and it would be indicative of what he'd be like in other aspects of his personality, outside of sex. Funny how that goes because I'm not averse to sex by the third date. Yup...it would be the attitude that would kill it for me. Now if he kept his mouth shut and it fell into place (so to speak) before or by that third date, fine by me because I'd be doing what I wanted, not what was "expected"...but then I've never been good at being told what to do and that's pretty much what that would be, ie. in order to keep dating me you have to have sex by the third date. Wrongo...me and ultimatums don't work.
Edit: Bear in mind also that my intention at this stage of my life was never to go out looking for a long term relationship. I've been more inclined to let the chips fall where they may. All relationships since my divorce have lasted well beyond the third date (minium of a year, parting as friends) no matter what "his" expectations were to begin with. I knew I wanted to go out with them to begin with because I communicated with them well enough in advance to the point I knew that I'd want to experience them sexuaully early on. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:12:34 PM | It's a booty call.
The person is just interested in sex.
I've dated some men for months where the sex was great, but they person really couldn't carry a conversation. Then I've dated men who although they had great personalities, had little sex drive, were selfish lovers or just plain bad.
If someone gives me an ultimatum they can go screw!!
You want sex by the 3rd date, fine. Go have it with another woman.
This is really funny, because you've heard for years, never tell a man how many sex partners you've had. It will be held against you. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
You think you're done learning about the person by the 3rd date? HA!!!! You don't know Jack!!! | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:22:05 PM |
My question to everyone, MEN AND WOMEN... how would you feel if a potential partner told you, ( or you read in a Forum ) that this person would not wait for sex with you on a 3 rd date ?
I'd think - "ok" and be glad I dodged a bullet? I don't do controlling well, so I'd think I was lucky to get the information. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 12:35:42 PM | | Ok, I will give you a new perspective on this. Is not sex for the sake of sex one has to talk about but about SEX as a form of communication. Personally, if a man doesn't show enough interest in me by the 3rd date, I would not feel like seeing him again, if I was looking for a long term partner. It's not a request to perform, it is a probing into one's ability and willingness to go further. It's not a matter of having an agenda, in my opinion. But if one cannot originate at least that desire by the 3rd date.....well, I would be suspicious. Just my 10 cents. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 1:18:31 PM | A person I have seen only twice is not a potential partner. He is a fellow I am getting to know. If he said have sex with me or I am out of here I would reply "there is the door, don't let it hit you on the way out" My sexuality belongs to me if is not a bargaining chip. I am sexual when I am ready and want to be not on demand by someone. Not even a SO. No one is entitled to sex with another person.
I think it takes a long time and a lot of conversation to determine if a person I am dating will be a potential partner. At the end of a second date I will have decided if I want a third date.
I may feel very attracted to the man but I also want to know:
1. If he wants to be in a long term committed ( married ) relationship.
2. What his values are
3. Is he present emotionally.
4. Is he fun to be with.
5. Are his interests similar to mine.
6. Are we compatible in interests and values.
7. Do we have the same beliefs about relationship.
and much more. I have no problem with sex for sport per say. But I have been there done that and though it can be great fun I am done with that. At this stage in my life I am happy to be alone and celibate rather than with an incompatible partner. I have no interest in having sex unless and until I am in a deeply caring relationship with the potential for a committed relationship. If a fellow does not like this he can go on his merry way with no harm and no foul.  | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 1:20:58 PM | First date, third date, twenty-seventh date...what's up with that? There aren't any timeframes on that. I would question if someone was interested if it dragged on a long time with no show of affection. Of course - I'm not the type who would, necessarily, WAIT to see if someone is going to take my hand, or kiss me...I'll dive right in.
I don't think there should be any expectations of what should, or should not happen, in any particular amount of time. Every man is different, as is every woman, and every relationship too. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 1:27:11 PM | I'm leery of timetables and agendas. It's reminiscent of someone trying to find a success formula or find a way to make life manageable or controllable - which speaks to trying to make things secure in an insecure world.
Life is a risky business; I prefer someone who wants the adventure of discovery.
On the other hand... if a man showed no interest in me, I'd interpret it as I wasn't doing it for him or he didn't have a particularly strong sex drive. I don't complain about a man's interest in sex; I want him thinking of getting naked with me. A friend once took me to a gay bar; there I was in a roomful of men and there was zero interest. There was no energy directed towards me and the closest I can come to describing it is it felt like I didn't exist. *shudder* It was the oddest feeling I've ever experienced. I've realized since then that I do feed on the energy directed my way from men; even that from strangers noticing me walk down the street. Given that, I can't imagine wanting to date someone where I wasn't feeling that vibe happening both ways. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 1:31:37 PM |
How many women, and men have not had sex by the end of their 2 nd date, and because of this, were turned down for a 3 rd date ? I've never dated men with those kinds of standards. If they don't want to 'wait for sex with me" then they don't want ME, they just want the sex. It's always very easy to discern what category the man falls into by his behavior. | |
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| A Twist on EXPECTING Sex by the 3 rd date. Would You Date Her/Him ?
Posted: 10/16/2009 1:40:47 PM | Op: you're too funny.
The utter lack of responses by men should so how unpopular this idea is, and the net result of which is that women will continue to get dumped after the third, fourth, or fifth date regardless of what you feel about it personally. Just another troll post. | |
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