| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:45:13 PM | My boyfriend's co-worker had asked if him and i where just seeing each other and he made it VERY clear that yes we are but this guy just didn't except the anwser given and had gotten ahold of my number out of the rollerdex (i use to work there as well) and has called me non-stop i got at least 18 call's in the past 24 hours of him asking me to come to his place for dinner and how he'd make me feel like a REAL WOMEN...I had stopped anwsering the phone after the second call he had made....Now he's bugging my mom to have her make me anwser his call's...My boyfriend has told him to either stop or there will be trouble but i don't want him (my bf) to lose his job over this and i want this other guy fired but because i no longer work there i can't do much about that
should i file a report on him even though it's just phone call's or should i just keep ignoring them and hope he stops???? | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:47:16 PM | | Hell yes you need to file a report. And contact the HR department of the workplace - he's clearly making calls from work, so that puts them in an actionable position if they don't take steps to stop it. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:49:14 PM | | The next time he calls, mention to him that if he keeps doing it you will file a report on him at work. He should listen since he probably knows you can do it since you worked there. Just a thought. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:53:12 PM | trauma drama.. trauma drama.. forget the connection with your boyfriend.. report this guy to authorities AS IF he was an UNconnected STRANGER.
then call the HR department of your FORMER employer.. as well as the company president and INFORM him that you will SUE THEM for invasion of privacy for not keeping your confidential employee information secure..
It's that simple
You CAN do something about it.. leaving your b/f OUT of it | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:22:18 PM | Call the cops, this is criminal behavoir and is illegal. They will put a stop to it and he'll get the message that you mean business. If that doesn't work, buy a gun and blow his B***S off... | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/17/2009 9:27:43 PM | | you should tell his employer he got your number out of the files there and that hes now harrassing you. You should also tell him if he calls you again you will go to the police, and then follow through. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:38:48 AM | | Have your boyfriend tell his employer what this jackass has done, as that's a breach of security/privacy; and YES!!!! file a report with the police. There's no excuse for what he's doing, it's harassing behaviour and considering how quickly it's escalated there's a good chance it will also swiftly turn to violence. Do NOT warn him, or he might try to stop you in anyway possible. Get a restraining order as well ASAP; if he is fired for what he's done chances are he'll blame you instead of himself. And buy some pepper spray. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:15:04 AM | Mademoiselle, you can just tell him you fell like a real woman every month. Its called menstruation.
I'd say get the authorities involved, which is the right thing to do. They'll put a call tracer on your phone for 24 - 48hrs and then they'll take care of him. Based on this report, you can easily get a restraining order.
Also, you need to get in touch with the HR department, or atleast you should let them know. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:31:07 AM | | the easiest thing to do is to call the police. they can look into your phone records to see the number of calls he has made to you. don't delete his messages txt or voicemail. the police will wnat to see those too. depending on the guys history he will recieve a verbal warning first. of stop contacting this woman. if he persists, he will get a restraining order, and if he is really daft he wil lface charges for criminal harrasment. thats usual procedure in canada. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:15:21 AM | | agreed^^^ invite them both over!!! i wouldnt put up with this type of behaivour and niether should either of you! Some guys just dont get it untill there get a punch in the face! | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 9:31:53 AM | If your women lets you know about a dude that is bothering her, you as a MAN tells the dude to knock it off. If he continues, then he is not only disrespecting your girl, he is disrespecting you....all rules go out the window at this point..
You as a MAN make sure it doesnt happen again.... | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 2:33:22 PM | | I'd call the guy up and say, "Give me $10,000 and I'll go out with you. Until you have that much money to give me, there's no reason for you to call me anymore - I'm not interested. If you can round up 10 grand, I'll come over." That should get rid of him. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 2:36:47 PM | | Op, you're a drama magnet. Maybe just let it go. Try to spend one week without having something oddball to report. Then surprise us in time for Hallowe'en. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 3:36:07 PM | My advice is try not to have an "me and them" attitude about society. I think this is the only possible explanation for you to have not dealt with this capably and immediately.
Being a fcuk up doesn't mean you can't be included in being looked after by the authorities, it's a democracy after all. I'm a real fcuk up believe me. But I don't do harm on people and whilst I could easily be rated as frequently oppositional to authority, I would also easily be rated as pretty lawful so I've nothing to fear from authority. Bonus. And I've no problem about relying on authority even if the very next day I'll argue with it. This is democracy, and how reforms are achieved. The trick is to believe in who you are and believe in what you do, and the only hard part about that is don't do anything you don't believe in.
Accessing personal details of employees past or present through work records is clearly a legal description of stalking. This alone can get you a restraining order. On top of this I'm pretty sure it's illegal to access personnel records in a place of employment for any non-work related reasons, so I'm sure he could be charged with a criminal offence on top of this.
Obviously your first stop should've been the local police station. Yes you should make a report, explain to the officer the only way this man could've gleaned your personal details was through work records and now he is stalking you both via the phone and through your family. If you seem in any way a reasonable human being, the local police will probably take this up as a personal quest, stuff like this is best nipped in the bud and they know it.
If you feel you don't come across very well to local police, then have a family member make the report on your behalf or have someone go there with you. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:42:51 PM | This guy ain't that bright it seems. He can get charged for harrassment. Lose his job and have a record for life.
If you are smart. You should do the following. Keep all your phone records that he has made to your phone etc... Notify the police and file charges. If not things could get worse. Also, change your phone number. If you don't, image this loser doing this to other women.
It's actually a serious offence. People sometimes don't realize that there are conciqueinces for doing stuff like that. That's my advice. | |
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| being stalked by bf's co-worker(REAL PROBLEM)
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:57:03 PM | You should probably read this book called "The Gift of Fear." by Gavin De Becker.
Its basically a book on how to avoid becomming a victim of rapists and stalkers.
It seems that, in most cases, taking things to the authorities makes things worse.
They'll slap him on the wrist. Maybe give him a restraining order.
He'll feel humiliated and could potentially become violent.
The best strategy is to ignore the person 100% of the time.
If he calls you 100 times and you answer the 101th time...
He will assume the price of your attention is 101 phone calls.
Using force won't work. The reasoning being that the only way to force him
away would be to lock him away. And he'll have to kill someone first to do that. | |
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