| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:51:02 PM | Okay, I know that guys don't associate sex with love (at least it's what I've been told for the longest). Now, I'm hearing some guys say that they could possibly become attached. Now I'm asking again. Could you ever become emotionally attached to a woman based on sexual chemistry? Also, what if the sexual relationship lasted for several months? Would you still be able to seperate your feelings over a longer period of time?
I'd really just like those questions answered without peoples psycho-analysis of me (that seems to be popular on these forums).
Thanks!
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:08:13 PM | | There are men that associate sex with love. It comes with sexual maturity. For some it never happens. But those types are just in life for their own gain. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:16:04 PM | Yes.
I had several sexual partners in the past that lasted for years. No friendship or relationship outside of the bedroom. We would hook up for just a few hours, then not see or talk to each other until the next booty call. We had emotional feelings for each other - the sex was great. We were in love for the moment. Didn't have anything else in common outside of the bedroom - so no relationship. It was mutual and was fantastic. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:22:32 PM | I think one can grow to love someone when its strictly sexual, but I don't think they can ever be 'in love'. To be 'in love' requires much more. When you mention sexual chemistry, does that means that there is sexual attraction, or just good sex? I believe that sexual attraction must be present to one day be 'in love' but if you're not sexually attracted to the person, there's no way. At least that's how it is for me.
HR  | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:23:05 PM | | a man could fall for you purely for sexual reasons...it happens all the time...it is just wrapped up in a ribbon and bows and paraded around like something more...so you have to go along with the charade...get used to life for the colossal farce that it is...the more real you are the harder it is to keep in step... | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:23:24 PM | Sex is that important to a man whether he is a single man or if he is a man that has been married for over ten years.
Ask a man and a woman to make a list from one to ten, listing their most important thing on that list, a man would most likely list sex as #1. I don't think it would be a question of it making a guy become attached. A man will enjoy sex with a woman just as long as they can both keep it interesting.
I am sure that there are many reasons why or how they become attached or unattached. My male friends say that when it is when the woman begins to make everything a top priority in their relationship that they become unattached----they say that it makes them feel unimportant. If a man can get the kind of sex he wants all the time, he will gladly hand over his paycheck every weekend and do chores without being told to do them. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:26:27 PM | | Me personally I don't mixed love and sex together and I put love before sex so therefore I can get emotional attached. What I have discovered is that females can't do what your asking and no I am not saying all of the but I am saying most of them are. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:37:37 PM | OP
Most guys associate sexual conquests with an affirmation of their manhood that is why they try to have sex with as many women as possible in order to "confirm" to themselves that they are attractive and viable. A man will have sex with you even if he is not that into you just to prove that HE CAN. Your job as a woman is to put it into your head that at the back of his reptilian mind, every man wants to lay every woman he can lay his hands on and to make the job easy for him by saying NO NO NO :-). | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:50:17 PM | I take umbrage with the statement that "guys don't associate sex with love." Where the HELL did you hear that? It's nonsense.
As to your question, which SEEMS to be "Can a guy who doesn't like you, fall in love with you if you have sex together enough, and the sex is very good?" Let me know if that's incorrect.
I can only give an opinion, since I have not had the experience of a repeated pure, high quality sex-only relationship. I think it is LIKELY that I would develop feelings for someone under such circumstances, but then I am not one to have sex with someone without having SOME feelings for them. I've tried it, and it isn't much fun for me. There are guys out there who have sex with women they don't care about all the time. The one's I have observed, do NOT tend to fall for the women they sleep with, in part because they tend to think less of any woman who DOES sleep with them. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 7:55:35 PM | OP: If you're looking for a pattern in behavior, I think this may help. I think the guys who have had sex over and over and over with different girls are likely more desensitized to emotional bonding after sex. The ones who've had very little sex or are still virgins, are likely to associate sex with love. That's how I was back in the day. Now I'm just a man whore. :)
As for being a man whore and being in a sexual relationship for several months, no, still don't assign love to sex. Love takes lots of time to develop - sex can happen instantly. That's not to say that sex over time equals love. Sex over time could just equal more sex. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:03:53 PM |
I take umbrage with the statement that "guys don't associate sex with love." Where the HELL did you hear that? It's nonsense.
Yeap. Over and over, I hear the attached guys I know lamenting how ignored they feel.
It seems to me that men and women aren't really all that different. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:10:42 PM | | Becoming attached as a result of physical intimacy is not only possible, but common. Everyone understands emotional intimacy can lead to physical intimacy. However, the opposite is also true. Having sex with someone, particularly someone you like a lot, is very likely to stir up strong feelings of attachment. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:28:18 PM | Guys who do not have a lot of sex with different women are likely to get attached to a woman when they do have sex with her a few times. Sometimes after the first time.
I know this because I've seen it happen with male friends.
A close male friend thought he would just have sex with a woman he had known very briefly. That was all it was in his mind and he didn't even really like the woman.
After a month of sex he fell in love with her and couldn't even think about any
other women.
It would be different if he had a lot of meaningless sex with various women but he wasn't like that. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:37:42 PM | Of course its possible for a man to become emotionally attached to a woman. Even if it is based only on sexual chemistry, then I have no problem keeping my feelings on the sideline whether it's three months, or six months.
The only way I will get attached is when I feel the time is right. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/18/2009 10:28:03 PM | I have to laugh at some of the responses here. Some seem to have a total belief system when the intelligent response to this question is there are several variables. Most seem to base the response on guy's are just typical dogs who hump any female that's willing. I wonder if they also think about who they are humping with. Yup folks strange but true women are just as bad as men.
There is no true answer to this question as it is just too general. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:29:49 AM | Of course men associate sex with love.
Ask any man that got divorced because there was no sex. He didn't feel loved..needed, wanted, desired, appreciated, etc.
Yes, men can become attached to a woman based solely on sexual chemistry. This happens all the time in FwB or FB situations. Woman enters into a relationship that is supposed to stay strictly sexual and next thing you know.. dude is head over heels in love. This happens equally if you gender flip it.
Men and women really aren't that different. Individuals vary. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:37:35 AM | | Regardless of what people may think or say, men are people too. As such, they can have the same tendencies as women do. Of course, most men do prefer sex and only sex, but that doesn't mean that if a man was in a purely sexual relationship, over a period of time, that same man can't develop real feelings for the person he's with. Again, it just all depends on the individual. If you're sleeping with the guy for months, and nothing's come of it yet, then chances are, it may not. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:06:09 AM | I know we cant do this but shud be able to name and shame
some people on this site, let everyone know !!!!!!!! so that they dont
waste their good breath!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 6:24:34 AM | I have never not associated sex with love. It's making love, and the affection is just what happens. I'd not be wanting her in the first place if not out of fondness, and so it follows that the intimacy goes farther along that direction, and the wonderful feelings are loving ones. People who separate sex and affection seem to me to be imposing a barrier between their emotions and their sexuality, although I understand how people really are different, that for some it is natural to see sex and love separately. It seems strange to me because I can't relate to sex ever being distinct from love.
When men and women talk about "just sex" and so on, trying to get laid, making arrangements to have sex but not care about each other, I just figure they see things that way and it works for them. Not for me, no thanks. Be it a long relationship or a brief encounter, my heart is in it. The progression is: attraction, intimacy, bonding, belonging. That's how love goes for me. Being around a woman who was emotionally cold but who wanted to have sex would not make me feel good. I like the affection and need that to enjoy being physical. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 7:13:20 AM | This IMHO is a myth that serves no one well. Where does this notion come from? I have never been able to disassociate sex from love; from the time I was a teenager to the present. For me to enjoy sex, I must at the very least like the woman. I have had sexual experiences with women I hardly knew and that sex was as flat and unsatisfying as could possibly be. I simply cannot understand tyhe kind of socialization that allows some men to have enjoyable sex w/out at least some feeling of warmth or friendship. Like many others, I cringe at the ideas that we men are just so "different"in our relationship to our sexuality than women.
We are all human beings. As far as I'm concerned, men who are detached from their emotions sexually are impaired, not normal. | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 7:27:58 AM | People who separate sex and affection seem to me to be imposing a barrier between their emotions and their sexuality.
I find this to be a fact of life in some of the relationships I've had. The sex would start off full of passions, it would last for months and then when things would really start to get emotional....a red light would click on! I have always felt that Love and sex were in tuned together as one, I couldn't understand how I could hear, (sex is just sex) Has it changed my views for love?, gee's I love my dog, we don't have sex...so yes, it has...Sex for alot of people now of days, sometimes don't want the drama behind a relationship, they want the physical passion that go's with sex, to be touched, kissed, wine and dinners, dancing, social contact. Have people been emotionally that beaten that they ask, (where is the Love)?
Love has clearly been mis-judged by sexual passion and yes, it's imposing barrier between the two show's it's separations.
This is NOT clearly just a guy thing....it works both ways of course. Sex is part of the building blocks to establish a relationship of love, I think that is where the term; Love is blind came into play. It takes much time to fall in love, and we all try out our (dates, friends of interest to see if the sex is good or not) because if not, we move on...of course it's our own decision to the fact, good or not....we all judge...
So I just wanted to set the record clear here, it's NOT just a Guy thing....for sure! | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:02:42 AM | | I think guys do associate love and sex. But i think they can seperate themself easier and not get caught up in the moment. Also in my own experiences YES love can come from a sex only relationship!!!! and when that happens the sex changes and becomes more passionate! | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:11:10 AM | Startle; a man could fall for you purely for sexual reasons...it happens all the time...it is just wrapped up in a ribbon and bows and paraded around like something more.
Ok women, in genaral men only think with one head and sex is our first concern,
just like looks and how much money= security I have to offer to you. { Like any
women on POF would date a man with no job and no money, like many women
are doing on POF.}
If the SEX Sucks there's no point for us men to stick around unless your a Millionaire
and at some point when we get feed up we can take you all the way to the bank.   | |
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egilbe
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Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 25 | |
| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:19:23 AM | A guy needs sex to feel close to a woman.
A woman needs to feel close to a guy before having sex.
See the problem there? | |
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| Guys, how long can you do this??
Posted: 10/19/2009 2:41:56 PM |
Okay, I know that guys don't associate sex with love There maybe a lot of truth in this,, As soon as I have sex with some one else in the same room, I'll get back here and compare notes.  | |
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