| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 4:52:47 PM | So, I was reading here on the forums about how upright everybody is about sex and being safe and getting tested and all that good stuff. However!!!! This has not been my experience!
I started dating last year after my divorce and having had little dating expereince before that 11 year relationship, I can only relate my experience from the last year. I am rather annoyed at the number of partners I have wracked up in the last year and NOT ONE has worn, offered to wear, or even mentioned condoms! The first couple partners I tentatively asked about diseases but I guess I kind of forgot after that. I also have not been able to use birth control consistently due to medical reasons and I can't beleive how guys ignore that issue. I think only one asked and the others I had to ruin the moment with, ya know what I mean. Seriously guys, if some chick was after another child support check and decided to be a jerk, you guys don't watch out for yourselves very well. After reading all the forums about std's and aids n junk, I'm actually getting really creeped out about my lack of safety this past year but my insurance doesn't cover preventive care so woohoo, guess I get to figure it out on my own.
I guess I don't really expect anyone to come forward and say, oh yeah, I'm stupid and dont take care for std's unwanted pregnancy so I wish we could do polls on here so people would respond honestly about whether or not they actually use condoms. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:01:41 PM | Funny thing... in all that you wrote, never once did you mention that you required guys to wear them before having sex. That would have either put a stop to the sex right there, or they'd have been burning rubber to get to the drug store.
Not saying everything you said wasn't true, and guys should be more proactive in that area, but so should women.
Bluez | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:03:46 PM | As a teenager and early adult I wasn't as cautious as I should have. After more then one pregnancy scare, and a morning after pill - solution that made me terribly ill I watched myself more, because at the end of it its MY body and the dude didn't get sick, I did.
My first sexual relationship I was 17 and he was 26, he refused to use condoms and I got on birthcontrol which made me depressed, gain weight, ill. The female doctor asked me if I was really happy, because it seemed I was putting pleasure before me and my health was at risk. After that I said screw that, if I am not in a monogamous relationship they better have condoms and if they dont its time you carry your own. It takes two to tango, no shoes, no dance. I knew one guy who had been scared senseless. It seems he went to a party with his boys and there was a girl acting wild with all the guys. His boy went into the room with her. Even though she was flirting excessively with the first guy. Months later they found out through others this girl had HIV. He was turned off for a long time, because he would only want oral. Period. So I guess more guys need to be scared shetless, to feel they could be at risk for anything. But its your body, dont risk it. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:04:38 PM | Exactly Bluez!
Takes 2 people to have sex.......why should only one of them be required to provide the protection.
Does the concept of carrying your own condoms escape you OP?
Planned Parenthood hands them out for free.....and they are a hell of alot cheaper than a kid or a disease! | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:07:08 PM | | You know what, I agree. I hate condoms probably as much as the guys apparently did but I'm coming to the realization that this behavior is stupid. Dudes are gone the next day anyway, why do I want to make it better for either of us by not using a condom. All ima have left to show for it is an std. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:07:32 PM | | Why does it fall upon the guy to bring up using condoms? Why can't you be a big girl and bring it up yourself? If you're so annoyed at the amount of partners, you have no one to blame but yourself. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:11:23 PM | | It's only fair that if I have to wear one, she should, too. And none of your anatomical excuses. There is a principle at stake here. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:12:58 PM | | really, I'm aware that I can procure my own condoms, lol. That's really not the question. I'm just surprised how many people actually DON'T choose to use them irl, compared to how many people brag about using them on here. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:17:04 PM |
I can only relate my experience from the last year. I am rather annoyed at the number of partners I have wracked up in the last year
^^^ This says a lot ^^^
I've been single for 10 months now and haven't "wracked up" any partners.
You sound ummm...easy, but refer to these guys as "jerks". What do you expect? It is the pond you are fishing in. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:18:33 PM | I don't like them, so I don't use them, which means I have another reason for not having sex besides not having a partner. The condom is better than nothing for what it does prevent, and worthless for what it doesn't prevent.
I don't get it, actually. If you use a condom for birth control, you still accept the risk of pregnancy, so if you don't want to be a father, it's too big a risk and don't do it.
For STD's, you would use one if you had sex with someone you didn't trust. OK, why have sex with someone you don't trust? That's too weird.
They make good water balloons. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:31:52 PM | | angelsback, "easy", well, I sure as heck wasnt meaning to be. Somehow, it just always happens. Sigh. I'm prob just going to stop dating until I get this figured out...(and get enough $ to get some major testing done). I think everyone is missing my point, either that or everyone's to eager to throw shiz to mkae themselves look better. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:35:32 PM | | oh, and I didnt call anybody a jerk. I said if some woman decided to be a jerk and set some guy up for child support for the next 18 years , theres a lot of dudes I know that would be the perfect candidate for her scheme. Again, aimed at the fact that in my experience guys dont wear condoms! | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:43:59 PM |
everyone's to eager to throw shiz to mkae themselves look better
I think thats your answer. Just look around every woman in the forum claimes to be turned on 24/7. Me I say it like it is but i think alot of people use these forums to get more mail in their inbox. I don't beleive half the stuff I read on here but sometimes it is quite entertaining. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:44:55 PM | MY rule is no love without the glove and I respect myself and her for just that .
If those out there like the feel of whatever STD and or whatever then more power to them , Till I see the blood test's and know she and I are doing it without any out side play then the glove's stay on .
It's all about respect her's and mine | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:50:48 PM |
I'm just surprised how many people actually DON'T choose to use them irl, compared to how many people brag about using them on here.
Um... if you hate them as much as men say they hate them, why would you expect them to willingly put one on? Seriously. If you don't hold them accountable for their actions and *just don't think about it* then you are just cruisin' to pick something up.
Go buy them. Put one in your purse. Tell them they either wear it, or you leave. Their choice. At your age, regardless of how long you were in a relationship for, you should know better!
First thing I did when I got separated.. ok.. not the first thing, but one of the first things I did once I got my head screwed back on straight was to go out and buy a box of condoms to have on hand. Just in case.
I actually prefer to do it as opposed to leaving it up to the guy. That way I know how old they are and how they've been handled/stored. The old expired ones get used on the toys. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:08:57 PM | | Own you own experiences - make things happen in the manner you wish them to happen by taking on the responsibility of protecting yourself - by making the right choices - take the lead! | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 8:53:47 PM |
So, I was reading here on the forums about how upright everybody is about sex and being safe and getting tested and all that good stuff. However!!!! This has not been my experience!
So, you're responsible for your experience and own sexual health don't ya know?
That includes the number of men you let into your body and how they are attired.
I also have not been able to use birth control consistently due to medical reasons and I can't beleive how guys ignore that issue.
Your body...your issue...whether you like it or not. How smart is it to leave you fate in a stranger's hands?
I guess I don't really expect anyone to come forward and say, oh yeah, I'm stupid and dont take care for std's unwanted pregnancy so I wish we could do polls on here so people would respond honestly about whether or not they actually use condoms.
Honestly, why are you so concerned with what is going on in other people's bodies?
Your profile says you have kids...so if you don't care about your own health you should at least care about it for their sake.
But if you really want to know I require blood work, monogamy and condoms unless I trust him and he has a working vasectomy and then I would still require blood work and monogamy.
I hate condoms but I'd hate to get sick even more.
angelsback, "easy", well, I sure as heck wasnt meaning to be. Somehow, it just always happens. Sigh.
OOOOPS! How'd THAT get in THERE...AGAIN? 
Try to figure out a way to align your actions with your intentions. Things rarely just happen to us.
Again, aimed at the fact that in my experience guys dont wear condoms!
Guys will do whatever you require them to do.
Remember, you are the gatekeeper of your own panties!
I know it sounds like a novel concept but seriously, no one gets in without your say so! | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 10:30:25 PM | I am a condom carrier  I dont need or want an STD. If he is unwilling to glove up, then Im not willing to have sex. Its all very simple. If he doesnt like the brand I've supplied, Im more than happy to have the ones he prefers next time.
Its my body, its my responsibility. Like most people I dont like condoms, I find that they are a little bit irritating. I consider that a small price to pay for my health. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/19/2009 11:06:57 PM | "burning rubber to get to the drug store"
Am I the only one who thought this pun was brilliant? Well done!!! | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/20/2009 3:52:46 AM | lol OP, thats what I get for speed reading. Sorry.
NOT ONE has worn, offered to wear, or even mentioned condoms!
Here is what you do....you either supply the condoms yourself or you say "do you have a condom/rubber/glove/something?" ...they say "no"....then you say "bye, bye". You wouldn't even be having this discussion on the forum if you did this. Your "experience" would be completely different.
Lastly, IME condoms suck the moisture out of everything -lol. You may need extra lube. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/20/2009 4:00:35 AM | O/P: -so put on your big girl pants and buy some rubbers at the drugstore!
demand these guys you date, suit up before they dive in... -seems like women would be more concerned about being injected with strange male DNA, than the guy who pretty much jumps off, goes and washes her off his dick in her sink, then drys using those ornamental towels she has hanging in the bathroom... | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/20/2009 5:39:37 AM | Yeah, for real now...what do they really do?Farceur has it nailed down tight. I'm like him...rather no sex than condom sex; sorry. Sex w/out trust??? Just crazy, not interested. I've had plenty over a lifetime, a few weeks wait to test won't hurt a thing.
Besides I just don't understand the whole idea of "correct usage". What does that entail? When two people are gettin' busy there is stuff oozing and flying everywhere and on everything. Is one supposed to confine the activity to the areas just covered by latex??? Doesn't sound like my idea of a good time, but each to their own. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/20/2009 6:20:23 AM | | I get the whole condom thingy, but can't you catch STD's just as easy thru oral sex also?.....Hmmmmm.....kind of defeats the purpose of wearing a condom. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/20/2009 7:22:18 AM |
I am rather annoyed at the number of partners I have wracked up in the last year and NOT ONE has worn, offered to wear, or even mentioned condoms! The first couple partners I tentatively asked about diseases but I guess I kind of forgot after that.
But you still had sex with them? Dangerous, OP.
I also have not been able to use birth control consistently due to medical reasons and I can't beleive how guys ignore that issue.
There are so many methods out there, OP, are you sure they all conflict with your medical problems? I've never heard, for example, of a woman not being able to use a diaphram and spermicidal. | |
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| condoms...for real
Posted: 10/20/2009 8:05:37 AM | Op,are you frikkin' nuts........???
In the past year,you've had UNPROTECTED sex with HEAPS of guys......????
*shakes head*
Supply the condoms yourself !!
No glove = No Love. NO exceptions......geesh......
Hope you havent contracted syphillis,genital warts,hiv,herpes,gonorrhea,just to name a few............... | |
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