| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:12:05 AM | Hello everyone. I've only posted on here one other time but decided to get some feedback for a different situation. I've been communicating with this guy from POF for about 3 weeks via email, text msgs, Yahoo Instant Messaging, etc. and it turns out that we recently decided to meet in person for the first time. We live about 1.5 hours away from one another (not that far) I was planning on being in the same city where he lives for a completely different reason and it just so happened that I let him know that I was coming up there anyway, so we decided to take advantage of the opportunity. Anyway, it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon and we spent the entire afternoon (about 7 hours) hanging out, sitting in the park, drank beers, ate some food, etc. and played with his dog and watched all the other people with their dogs....He told me sometime back that he usually knows within 20-30 minutes from hanging out with someone that he wants to see them again at least for a 2nd date....so I'm assuming we both were really into each other, tons of chemistry, etc, since we were both around each other for about 7 hours....(one of us could have easily come up with an excuse to leave if there wasn't anything there, right?) anyway, when the time came for me to leave town (about dark) we sorta left everything open but at one point during the day, we talked about getting together again for a real date (dinner, etc)....just not when we said goodbye....FINALLY MY CONCERN IS that I really hit if off with this guy and sent him a yahoo instant msg the other night, which he did respond to....we had some small talk, etc....finally I decided to leave the ball on his court and told him that if he's interested in going out sometime to give me a call, and he immediately sent back a msg wanting to know if we could get together the weekend of the 30th (Halloween) but not this weekend.....he told me that day at the park that he's going out of town with his son and mother....well, on his FB page, I couldn't help but notice that some chick kept posting comments about how she's soooo looking forward to seeing him this weekend for their first date....: I know I shouldn't get bent out of shape b/c I'm not seeing this guy exclusively at all, but just wanted some advice as to when or even if at all I should wait to hear from him sometime b/w now and next weekend to see if he follows through with wanting to get together a 2nd time.....I just don't want to get my hopes up too high or get hurt for the thousandth time ......know what I mean? any advice would be great! thanks for reading! | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:18:08 AM | You're here to date. He's here to date. He had made plans to meet this other woman before he met you, and he's not breaking that date.
That means he hasn't fallen in love with you, but that's a good thing - don't want to get involved with a flake. He does like you enough that he's pretty sure you're a better match than the one he's already committed to meeting, since he wants to see you the following weekend.
Relax. | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:55:45 AM |
he told me that day at the park that he's going out of town with his son and mother....well, on his FB page, I couldn't help but notice that some chick kept posting comments about how she's soooo looking forward to seeing him this weekend for their first date
So,he "made up" this story about being outta town,when,in reality,he's teed up a date with another girl.........................
Hmm.................................
He's perfectly "entitled" to see who he likes as you're not in a relationship with him,but its a worry that he LIED to you.
My advice is to get on with your life and if he calls,he calls......................
 | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:03:29 AM | | won't last anyways, he's far away..I'm sure you would be happier with a guy you can actually see if you want to get together after work...every time you want to see this guy it will be a big production just to get together...1.5 hours is not that far but it is long distance, and we all know that RARELY works out...besides, he bs'ed you right off the bat, not that he owes you anything but still something to think about. | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:03:45 AM | If there's any "blame" to dish out, then I could only see that being the fact that he gave you a detailed excuse about why he couldn't get together until the next weekend. I don't think he owed you that. You had one date.
But I think a simply, "sorry, I have plans then...how about the 30th?" would have been sufficient.
I don't think there's anything to worry about. And more than calling what he said a lie, I think he probably was at a loss, and hasn't gotten to a place where "sorry I have plans" feels comfortable to him. | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:17:49 AM | | FB has been the source of more drama than I care to think about. I try not to get too personal with a guy I just met. OP, make plans for next weekend and have a good time. If things are going to work out with this man they will. | |
|
| |
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:30:35 AM | Some time is the best cure here, let the flutters settle and get your senses back, if it will be, it will be and by being clingy, you may drive him away. Relax OP, he hasn’t done anything wrong, he may have lied by omission, but you didn’t ask him if he was meeting any one else either. Sometimes it is best to remain silent about your meetings, there are a lot of needy clingy people out there who freak when they find out you heaven forbid are even emailing someone else! You have a piece of information that he doesn’t know you have, sit on it and he may tell you him self.
Good luck OP, it sounds like you had a nice date and 7 hours confirms this. Take it easy. | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:12:05 AM | thanks to all of you for your responses and taking the time to read my situation! This really helps me and I'll know what to do.....just don't do anything as of now.....if he had a great time (which I assume he did) I'll just wait and see if I hear from him between now and early to mid next week....
thanks!
 | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:05:55 PM | Here's a new rule to live by that might just help you.
Don't add any man you intend/want/hope to date to MyFaceSpaceBook until you're actually in a committed relationship.
All too often it boils down to TMO (too much information). | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:51:25 PM | All your eggs in one basket after a 7 hour "date"?
If he calls, he calls.
If he doesn't so what.
If he's seeing his son and mother THEN going out on a date, so what. Stop snooping on FB.
You say you don't want to get you hopes up too high but you know they already are up too high. My advice: date a pair and a spare (3 men) so you don't get too wrapped up in 1 guy until they've proven themselves. He's nothing more than a stranger with whom you've had 1 date and some phone chats. | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 3:52:56 PM | | sharp...although that might not be the case....(you know how these internet guys are)you do make a good point...that he might be at a loss...that is a very unbiased opinion..most on here tend to lean towards the worse side...congrats! | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 4:26:08 PM |
Don't add any man you intend/want/hope to date to MyFaceSpaceBook until you're actually in a committed relationship.
I agree with this completely. My ex and I had a lot of trouble with the whole facebook drama thing..mostly on his end. He would vent in his status about me which I considered completely unacceptable. One day he thought my status was directed at him (it was a random comment directed at no one) and by the time I got home from work he had trashed me all over his page and mine. Soooo not cool.
After we broke up we remained fb friends..until I made a silly comment on his status one day and he removed me. Sigh, he never did get my humor.
I now add no one that I'm even remotely interested in dating. I even waited 2 years to add my best friend from work, who also happens to be my assistant manager. I added him now because I am leaving the company (in 2 days). Before that, it was a conflict of interest, in both our eyes.
Relax, try to be patient, I know it's hard when you really like someone, you just want things to hurry up and happen, but if you push, you'll lose. So stay of his fb page, keep yourself busy, and let things happen naturally.
Good luck Opie. | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:13:17 PM | | Go to visit if you want to, he owes you no explaination as to what he does when you are not around unless you are exclusive. Keep it friendly, keep it chaste and you have nothing to worry about. | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/21/2009 8:41:10 PM | You sound a little flaky! Also, in my opinion since he was not pushing for the second date you should of just got the hint. It sounds more like you are doing the asking! In the future you just have met the guy, do not stalk his facebook or corner him for excuses on why he will not commit to an earlier date time for you. It just seems as if you are a little needy. On the other hand what do I know, Im still single...LOL! | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:57:07 AM |
My advice: date a pair and a spare (3 men) so you don't get too wrapped up in 1 guy until they've proven themselves.
Landa, I think I love you. Bwahahahaa!!! | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:53:01 AM | thanks everyone....
I appreciate the feedback....the only reason I was going to go on his FB page in the first place was to send him a comment about how much I enjoyed seeing him and hanging out the other day at the park....when I got to his wall, I couldn't help but notice all these comments (from this chick) and now I really could care less about the whole situation (or lack thereof) No, I'm certainly NOT NEEDY, but I get the idea what you're saying....I'm just going to go with the flow....if he tries to get in touch, then so be it....whatever...
thanks everybody!!
 | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:56:08 AM | He made these plans before your great day..
barely knows you and doesn't owe you any explanation.
I know I shouldn't get bent out of shape
But you are.
Maybe he will read this and not want that second date.
Why people have to over analyze everything and put such hope into one meeting is beyond my realm of thinking.
He will call if he wants the date. Your life will not be altered in anyway if he doesn't.
Don't keep looking to see what he is doing..creepy and desperate. | |
|
| |
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:42:52 PM |
My advice: date a pair and a spare (3 men) so you don't get too wrapped up in 1 guy until they've proven themselves. Some people don't need to behave like this in order to not feel "wrapped up". They've got natural self control. I do get the jist of this comment--since you haven't had "the talk" with this guy, both you and him are available to see others.
the only reason I was going to go on his FB page in the first place was to send him a comment about how much I enjoyed seeing him and hanging out the other day at the park I wouldn't put too much faith in a Face Book comment. If the guy commits himself to a woman who he hardly knows dotes all over him on Face Book, he's a twit who you don't want to date.
I suggest calling him the Thursday before his date with this other chick. Do NOT tell him that you read his Face Book. This puts you into his mind before his date with the other chick. This ain't a bad thing to do; I don't think it shows weakness, it shows initiative. Good luck!  | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:06:50 AM | Oh No, Facebook is at it again...There is a wonderful YouTube video called Is Facebook ruining your relationships? It's hysterical, I have it posted to my Facebook profile. It's some woman reaming out her man cause he's been "lol-ing" some other girl!
Here's the deal...it's not cool that he lied to you, however, reality is, you've only seen him one time. You don't have enough history together to be exclusive, but he probably did really like you. So when he felt confronted about making plans and felt the need to explain why he couldn't make plans for this weekend, he probably didn't want to come right out and say to you, "I have a date with another girl". That wouldn't have felt so good to you either now would it? I've run into this situation more than once when I've had more than one person I was dating and they've asked me out on a night when I had another date. Saying I have other plans sort of leaves the mind to wonder...so I always struggle with how to answer that question myself. It's hard, especially when you really like the person who is asking.
All you can do is give the situation some time and see what happens. He will either step up and start to call and make ways to see you or he will slowly fade away, and either way eventually time will tell. In the meantime, if the comments on his FB page are really bothering you, just don't even let yourself go look. It's not worth all the worry and suspicion because half the time the crap people put on FB doesn't mean anything anyway. | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:53:11 AM | thanks FlameNFire....what all u said really makes great sense....when we had such a great time the other day, we kinda left everything open anyway.....we've been chatting on Yahoo a lot this week, so we shall see what happens.....I'm not going to push it and you know what? even if he does have a date this Saturday, then so be it....chances are he might not have even close of a good time with her than he did with me...
only time will tell and thanks for your input! | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:43:52 PM | i don't think women should snoop on men and vice versa. how did OP know who was emailing or posting this dude? why would a message board show the contact list? being a busy body and you don't have papers on a man or a man doesn't have papers on a woman is "bad news" and you are setting yourself up for trouble.
this guy is a liar. he should have told you the truth that he is still out there dating and seeing other women. also,do not travel to meet a man, let him come to your town or side of town.
 | |
|
| Incredible First Meeting but need some advice
Posted: 10/23/2009 6:48:27 PM |
also,do not travel to meet a man, let him come to your town or side of town.
Gas must be a whole lot cheaper in your part of the country, delta. Since I'm doing searches 100 miles out from my town, I fully expect to share in the expense of meeting someone. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
