| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:30:27 AM | Hi there, I've been on this site since August and have had some contacts but am not sure if my profile is good as is.....or could use some changing.
One thing I specifically wonder about is age. I've always looked younger than I am and have always dated younger women. When I originally signed up, I put an age range of 30--40 but after looking at other profiles for awhile, realized there were also girls who looked young for there age, so bumped the age range up to 30--45. Now I get alot of notes from girls who are over 40 but the girls who message don't typically look young for their age, in fact they look much older.....I don't want to hurt their feelings, so should I just lower the age range again?
Thank-you in advance for your guidance... | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:43:00 AM | Your profile looks pretty good as it is. I would lose the pic of you snuggled up on the girl. There is no explanation of who it is and it just doesn't go well if you are trying to get a new date.
As for the age thing, I don't get it. To me, you look early 40s but if don't want to date someone older than you, you may be losing out on some of the fish in the sea. You sound rather shallow by saying you are dismissing some women just on the age range that she looks to be in.
In my experience on here, people either look better or worse than their pictures. So someone you think may look older on a picture may not look that way in real life. I dated a guy that was 34 but based on his pics, I thought he had dyslexia and was really 43. After I met him in person, he definitely was better and YOUNGER looking than I anticipated. Too bad his personality didn't match :) | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:45:24 AM | | First off in the pics with no glasses you look your age...the ones with glasses are farther away so that helps...Lean is good though...you shouldn't lower you age range just take a look at those women that you think look their ages old for their ages and realize that they probably think they look young too...just sayin....Your Profile isnt bad though..First line sucks, Second line sucks too....The rest is normal and boring.....special connection to the Bahamas might have been interesting if you stated what it was...little things like that help a lot, what you said about your children having fun and playing was good stuff though.... | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:54:48 AM | Hello there.....
This is my take on it as a whole:
First, you are in the category of Separated. You have women clicking out immediately....It is nice to know if the divorce papers almost have the ink dry, or if you are separated a month. You have looking for Long Term. Together, to me, that's a red flag....
You are 'undecided' on wanting kids. You're 45 with kids already. I think it's best to pick one or the other. In your age range, it's okay to say you don't want any more. (if that's what you really mean)
You should leave it to the person visting your profile to determine if you are very good looking, etc. The same thing when you said you want someone naturally beautiful on the outside. How can one determine this? ;) If we go by what are friends and family say, we're all Brad and Angelinas. ; )
I think between that and going over the age range in the profile text, you zap some audience. You can always take out the age sentences and the height, weight....you can always weed people out before you contact them, since most of the time, it is left up to the man. Women are not the ones to initiate contact most of the time, so you have the option immediately of narrowing down your choices.
I think your profile was pretty good, but again, the above are pretty big things: long term, separated, and kids.
Also, your picture is far away,..use a closer cropped one out front so people don't have to guess or pass you by with the long distance photo.
Women will also guess who the woman is in the photos, which usually isn't a good idea: they'll think it's an ex, a wanna be date, friend with benefits, etc.
Oh, I forgot...the first paragraph comes up in searches next to your name. The opening line...I'd move that down or something, or women will pass you by with the prison line, because they won't see the joke, etc....if they don't read on.
Well...that's all folks. Hope that helped a bit.
Wish ya all the best. | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:58:52 AM | Now I get alot of notes from girls who are over 40 but the girls who message don't typically look young for their age, in fact they look much older
That's because, like out in the Real World, there are hags and liars running loose. Simply ignore the ones you don't like, or say "thanks, but hell no", if you are the sort that feels compelled to reply no matter what. It's really just that simple.
BTW, your main profile pic should be a close up of your face, preferably smiling.
Best of luck
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:44:05 PM | | Thanks to all for the good feedback, I've already made some of the changes suggested....and will look at the other area's when there's more time | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:12:38 PM | As has been pointed out, the 'separated' tag can be a real killer here. Your viewer won't know if you are freshly separated and the wound is still fresh, or if there is any possibility of a reconciliation. Why would someone want to get emotionally involved if she's either the rebound girl or you end up back with your wife?
If there's any way you'd feel comfortable dealing with this in your profile, it would help. Short and sweet: "Separated for # years, the final paperwork is underway".
You can easily change your body type to "Athletic" if you're really into fitness. The full body shot backs you up. The line at the bottom of your profile describing your body (as lovely as it is) comes across as bragging.
Good luck! | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:35:45 PM | Thanks for the feedback, Ive been separated
for over a year so maybe I should point that out.... Certainly not trying to brag about anything... | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/22/2009 8:12:58 AM |  Um... am I the only one who thinks your opening line must go, no matter what? Are you kidding me? Pretty negative, dude.
The rest is pretty decent. Like someone else said, run it through a spell check. I would also move the paragraph about having kids to maybe the 4th one instead of the 2nd.
Good luck to you. | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/22/2009 11:01:20 AM | I'd take out the part about how you look younger. Geesh! I wish I had one of those delusional mirrors! Everyone looks thier age, some just look better. I see that stooopid line in most men's profiles and when I do, I just click on by. Mainly because it tells me that they are hoping to attract the younger women (at least 10 yrs younger) and see - you backed that up! Now can I borrow the magical mirror?
I too would move that first line. As someone stated, it shows up in the search - at least the first few words but the person doesn't see the whole line. So they have no clue that its a joke.
All in all, not too bad, but nothing really strikes me as original either.
HR  | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:42:19 PM | This exercise has been informative and also completely amusing....one guy thinks I did just get out of prison....so should " lighten up " and apparently someone else thinks I have a picture of my children on here?? Does anyone else see a
photo of children between 5 and 10?..
Seriously though, I do appreciate all the feedback and received one message on my profile that was especially helpful....No, not the girl from Florida...if she's reading this. | |
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| 45 year old guy looking for input please
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:44:43 PM | Here's your original thread. Ask the Mods to delete the duplicate.
You're still cute as hell, new profile is great, I still think the email age restrictions are going to bite you. Make sure you send lots of introductory messages to the girls you find interesting. | |
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