| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:32:16 AM | | Wouldn't it make sense to see if you could be friends first? I see so many men listing "no contact" if you are interested in anything BUT long term. Are they aware of the necessity of learning about someone first to see if they can be friends? Isn't that one of the things a ltr is based on? | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:57:14 AM | Because they are posting their goals possibly?
I don't exclude others from contacting me, but I do want to be honest that is what I am looking for.
I agree that it does seem silly to exclude everyone but those interested in an LTR given that POF only allows you to list ONE "for" response. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/21/2009 2:58:17 PM | | In my experience some people check off their goals or wish list, not REALIZING the system will automatically block people from e-mailing you. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:11:21 PM | Could be worse, I always post I'm interested in an LTR-I'm a female. Most replies I get are intimate encounter types or otherwise not LTR people....Go figure, eh? | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:26:39 PM | | I am thinking the reason is because with a long term they would have to spend no more time in a search mode but I agree that someone should truly become a friend first because if you really think about it We really never meet strangers | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:05:00 AM | | Some are interested in only being friends and not looking for LTR - Some are looking to date only, and again not LTR - I always ask them what their intentions are as far as a relationship goes. I certainly don't mind being friends or dating, but if they are not interested in LTR, then all we will do is chat. I am looking for LTR and don't want to get with someone who isn't interested in the same. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:24:28 AM | | i put down ltr because i am looking for that.yes i know you have to start out as friends and go from there. i try to be open minded about what people want. it's not always about seeing how fast you can get naked. some of the very best dates i've ever had was when we kept out clothes on for weeks at a time. ltr is the goal, but start as friends and enjoy the journey. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:22:17 PM | I have long term too, Like Diane having common goals as to WHAT your intentions are is important. I do write in my profile that getting to know someone takes time.
Racething I also agree with you. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:34:46 AM | ok, so maybe i have been on this site a weeeeee bit too long........ and maybe i am "jaded" or maybe i'm just a "cynic"........
BUT, i think that men (and no, not ALL men) say that THEY are looking for a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP because they think that's what the GIRLS are looking for....... not because that is REALLY what THEY want, but they think if they put down "dating" or "friends" that they won't get as much ATTENTION from the ladies........ of course that is just MY opinion. but in my experience here, that's the way it went. and if they DO want a LTR, and you hear this from them : "i'm not interested in a long term relationship" that sometimes means "i'm not interested in a long term relationship WITH YOU". 
happy fishing y'all...... 
Wolfie
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:27:41 AM | Yea Wolfie, I think you are a little jaded.
I do not put it because that is what I think women want, but because it is what my goal is.
Contrary to popular belief, some men are honest and do speak their mind.
Say what you mean and mean what you say right ? But honestly if I was only looking for friends or activity partners, I would go to a different site like mymspace or fazebook.
You can get THOUSANDS of friends and activity partners there  | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/27/2009 10:57:16 AM | well, thank you mr. gatorbait for pointing out to me that i am jaded..........
and thank YOU for being an honest man....... but trust me, there are a LOT here that are NOT....... and i'm not the only gal that has had issue with dishonesty. for me, it is a HUGE RED FLAG when i catch someone in a lie....... i'm too old to play games and i say so on my profile.
i am looking for a LTR, but know that it all starts with FRIENDSHIP...... and i am old enough to know what i WANT and what i NEED and i refuse to settle for less........ till then, i'm happily single...... happy fishing y'all !!
Wolfie | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:05:58 PM | No I do understand. There are probably 10x more men who lie than women.
And I meant jaded in the most friendly way possible  | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:32:45 PM | Wolfie,
I on the other hand put dating as what I am looking for. My ultimate goal IS a LTR, BUT I don't want to mis-lead any of the ladies thinking that I am ready to just jump right in with the first one I date. I guess a lot has to do with how you interpret things, but then again, I am "new" to the dating scene. That's not to say that if I date someone a few times and there is definitely "chemistry" there (no not talking about jumping in the sack chemistry) then I would stop dating and concentrate on that one lady.
Gee, dating is so complicated, maybe I should just forget about it and just ride my Harley! Of course it is always more fun if there is someone on the back seat hanging on (not because they have to but because they want to). Ok, I know getting WAY off topic here. Sorry, just need to "vent" sometimes. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/27/2009 1:51:19 PM |
BUT, i think that men (and no, not ALL men) say that THEY are looking for a LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP because they think that's what the GIRLS are looking for....... not because that is REALLY what THEY want,
Wolfie, you know I love you (and guys, if you dont know Wolfie I will tell you first hand she is one of the sweetest, kindest women you will ever in your life meet) so I am glad to see you being a bit "jaded" - you need to protect that sensitive heart of yours!
Now, here's my theory as to what happens:
Men, all men... are looking for a long term relationship. Some may say LTR (overtly), and some may say dating and act like a player but secretly they still want a loving long term relationship. Understanding that then you can understand that most men look at a profile and email someone thinking "she might be the one!" A woman will stay on that "might be the one" list until she somehow removes herself. When she does, some men (OK, a lot of men) will put on the "can I get laid with little effort?" list and some men (the better ones) will take her off both lists.
The trick is in learning to keep your self on his "might be the one" list and not ever getting on the "can I get laid with little effort" list and if you are ever switched from one list to the other, knowing when it has happened.
And ladies, its almost impossible to go from the "can I get laid with little effort" list over to the "this might be the one" list. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:53:49 AM |
And ladies, its almost impossible to go from the "can I get laid with little effort" list over to the "this might be the one" list.
VERY well said!! I have found over and over again that men list Long Term on their profiles here and on other dating sites when they are not looking for that at all! It is so misleading to start dating someone, continue dating for weeks, to only find out he is looking for sex. I guess open communication is the answer. Discuss what the expectations are for the relationship before you invest too much time in a "going no where" situation. I have learned my lesson the hard way and will never allow it to happen again. ........(Jumps back into the fishy pond again!!!! ).....Deb | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:37:44 AM | | LMAO ....It was probably directed at me Pete. Its funny how someone can talk about spirituality on their profile but have such meaness in their heart. Guess a little more meditation would best suit the nurse so she can look inward and find out where her anger towards others is coming from. Sorry to get off subject but I think that comment needed to be addressed. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:07:12 PM | It was interesting reading, from both men’s and women’s perspectives, as to why men ask for serious or ltr. I can only speak for how I think and my motivations and I can only think of two reasons why I would do so.
1. I am being sincere and looking for that form of a relationship.
2. I am posting what I think women want to hear.
We men are simply mystified as to how women think. If I listed I was only interested in being a friend, would women think I am a lost cause? As others mentioned, a relationship is going nowhere unless you are great friends to begin with. I am friends with many women I know, but that is all we will ever be, just friends. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/31/2009 2:33:07 AM | It was meant for you Deb, but not out of meanness. Meant as a wakeup call. Men are sexual creatures first. If you don't want to have sex, you probably should not be talking to them. Your job is to get them excited and then show that you have more to give so that you can hold on to them. Sometimes you may have to take up some form of exercise to keep in shape - this shows that you are someone good for the long run worth holding on to. LTR means nothing to a man - its happiness now and happiness later that moves them. Play the game right and you can screw them as well as they screwing you. That is what a relationship is about - satisfying both needs. Sorry if that bursts your bubble.
OH, and I love to meditate during sex. Get your guy to savor the moment with some slow mantras and he will be moved as well. If you try to enjoy the moment then you guy will like you, its just common sense, and a little operant conditioning as well. Train you guy like you would a dog and he will be obedient to you. Semper fidelis et audax. | |
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| why do men post for serious/ltr only?
Posted: 10/31/2009 6:07:18 AM | Nurse ...I don't know why you feel the need to give me lessons on sex. My original comment was about communicating what you expect from a relationship , not about just sex. Talk about the expectations for the new relationship and don't waste time finding out weeks later that he just wants a sexual relationship instead of long term.
I also don't play games and use men but thank you very much for the instructions on how to do that. You use your ways on how to keep a man interested and I will do the same, thank you. END OF CONVERSATION! | |
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