| A different look on the "Nice" syndrome.
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:09:58 AM | I figured this was as good a place as any to put this.
What happened:
Practically every morning on the way to work I stop by the local Hardee's for breakfast. (Best breakfast in my area, IMO). As usual I'm chatting with the staff and such while waiting for my order. The manager was there, we'll call her Sandy, and she comes over to me and says "How come you're always so nice?"
This kinda stopped me in my tracks. I told her, "Why shouldn't I be?"
It got me to thinking...Have we, as a society, gotten to the point that being polite and "nice" to other people is rare? Am I in danger of becoming obsolete?
What's everyone's thoughts on this?
(Oh, btw, "Sandy" is married and was NOT hitting on me.) | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:32:05 AM | LOL - have to put in that you weren't getting hit on...
I have worked in retail in the past. You wouldn't believe some of the things that go on...everything from people yelling at you, insulting you, and just being plain nasty. I think if you are a "regular" and chatting with the staff - well, we are all so disjointed these days, no sense of community. The small talk or the smile or just the "good morning" makes you stand out. There's a store I stop in a lot, and chat away with the cashier (awfully nice woman). I make it a point to be nice, because having been in that position I know how many people aren't!
It seems to me that everyone's in a hurry, focused on their own thoughts, rushing around, mad there's a line and look how much everything costs...no wonder you got the "nice" comment. I'd hate to work with the public in that manner these days! | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:39:34 AM | | OP, she might just literally think you're a nice guy, nicer than the ordinary she deals with all the time, and therefore decided to comment on it. Maybe she was just in a talkative, even slightly flirtatious mood (even married people can I suppose occasionally be flirtatious.....even if they're not planning on actually "doing" anything about it). I guess it would depend on the "way" in which it was said to you. | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:05:13 PM | I think of the Tears for Fears song 'Mad World' that laments the cold detachment of society.
Yes, I do believe being neighborly is fast becoming obsolete and that the personable nice person being friendly to strangers is viewed as an odd fellow. | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:09:54 PM | OP you're just tooooooo nice.
I've seen numerous posts in here where you're always talking about how nice you are and how the nice guys never get considered and so on.
Is that the point of this thread ... letting us know just how NICE you are?
We believe you already!!!! Now if we could just convince the ladies in your area ... right?
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/21/2009 12:16:38 PM | I could sure go for some Hash Rounds right now.
What about Hardee's Roast Beef that they discontinued a few years ago? The BEST roast beef sandwich ever! When they told me they didn't have it anymore, I wasn't so nice. | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:44:29 PM | It got me to thinking...Have we, as a society, gotten to the point that being polite and "nice" to other people is rare? Am I in danger of becoming obsolete?
While I believe that this might be a self servicing question...
The simple answer is yes...for the most part,we,the public,have become ***holes.....
But seriously...Hardeee's breakfast as even remotely being described as good......? | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:21:27 PM |
OP, she might just literally think you're a nice guy, nicer than the ordinary she deals with all the time, and therefore decided to comment on it. Maybe she was just in a talkative, even slightly flirtatious mood (even married people can I suppose occasionally be flirtatious.....even if they're not planning on actually "doing" anything about it). I guess it would depend on the "way" in which it was said to you. Agree. Some people have more pleasing personalities than others. She is a waitress and has to deal with all types. She sees you regularly and notices you are pleasant and amiable and commented on it. It is not a new thing that some people aren't as friendly and pleasant as others. It's a simple compliment. Deal with it, lol. | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:48:49 AM | Our society has gotten cold, self-centured and greedy. Look around. People sometimes get suspicious of someone "too" nice and think they have uterior motives. Many do, some are just charitable. | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:59:17 AM | In New Hampshire, almost everyone is nice all the time. Some people take being polite too far sometimes.
Every once in a while, I share the same smile with some young woman, even holding the door for her, and they'll act like you aren't even there. Men have brought this issue up before, and the response is always something about men just wanting to ask them out or something.
It makes you not want to be polite with young women, though, after you've seen that a bunch of times. I don't see this at all while travelling abroad. You hold the door open for a woman overseas, and they're almost always say 'thank you.' | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:20:28 AM | She was hitting on you and you missed it or she was trying to say something nice to you beyond, Have A Nice Day! or she was just yakking to you. How did you leap from your warm fuzzies at Hardees every morning to the whole fricking world gone amok and nobody but you being nice?  | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:41:45 AM | Common courtesy has become uncommon, just like common sense.
If you're courteous these days, it stands out as uncommon, hence the remark.
It's a shame that respect between people has eroded to such an extent... | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/25/2009 12:21:35 PM | OP... I really get where you are coming from with this... I sometimes answer the front line phones at the office, and I'm generally cheerful when announcing the company name to whomever is calling. On quite a few occasions I've received comments/compliments on my friendly attitude when answering the phones. Also, when dealing with people in the role I've been assigned, I also get comments from clients or government personnel as to my level of service being professional and friendly.
I'm a nice person dammit... well, when I want to be...  | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:04:07 PM | | I try to be a polite, nice person. People tend to either try to take advantage of it or get uncomfortable and think I have some other motive for being nice. It has never gotten me anywhere and I know it won't. I am just naturally inclined to be that way, and that is fine. I have no worries about becoming obsolete, nor do I feel "shorted" for not getting something in return for being nice. Nor do I care that it causes most women to avoid me, in part. It simply does not matter. I behave in the manner that best suites me and leave it at that. A tiger will not change his stripes. | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:48:02 PM | What some consider "being nice" I consider "crossing boundaries". Not all the time, but I HATE when people are "too nice" to me. I mean, ok, so I am in your restaurant and I like your food and all, but I do NOT want to talk to the entire staff about their day.
BTW, *I* am a nice, polite person, too.
A tiger will not change his stripes.
That's grrrrrrrreat! | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:30:19 PM | I try to be polite and nice until I find a reason not to be. It is a trait that is being taken away from us by technology, IMO. (Email, Cell Phones, Internet, etc.) We are loosing touch with each other even though we have more access to each other, make sense?
Just the other day I held a door open for an elderly couple and got praised beyond belief. It was very "nice" of them to notice even though I was just being myself.
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:58:02 PM | .
I heard on NPR how the Russian Fox breeders got a Nicer Fox.
Kept breeding the nice guys... Fur coat the others..........
In A few generations >>>only NICE GUYS....
The problem ..................
Their ears were floppy and they pee 'ed when ever a human came around...........
I am a Nice Guy ............My ears are kinda Floppy and ..........
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:56:44 AM | .
You mean my floppy ears?
After I heard that NPR story .......... I figured out what was wrong with my relationships ....
I always have always hooked up with a Shrew that tore my Life and Billfold apart....
Should have been Chasing a Fox with floppy ears and a Diaper ..............
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 11/4/2009 2:25:57 PM | *Friend zone alert*
Perhaps she was running recon for another waitress at Hardees. There might be a covert operation to get you to eat your breakfast at one of the matron's house who works there. Maybe you can have your pancakes and eat them too. Woohoo! | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:18:53 PM | Just because Sandy is married doesn't mean she wasn't hitting on you, or that she isn't attracted to you! Just saying!
It's true, our society is going down hill. I heard a story about a person thanking a Mc Donalds staff member at noon and he commented that they were the first to do so, that day! I heard another guy saying how he has delivered 40 KG bags of dog food to million dollar homes for the last eight years, plays with peoples dogs and he has received one tip!
In my small town, I'm always amazed when an old timer, acknowledges me (as a stranger) passing on the sidewalk and says "good day". NEVER had a woman do it yet! lol | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 11/4/2009 7:34:32 PM | To the person who started this thread,
You are absolutely correct in your judgement towards society in our current culture, especially in the USA. I live in one of the wealthiest areas on Miami that I employ over 6000 employees in the state of Kansas alone. | |
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| A different look on the Nice syndrome.
Posted: 11/5/2009 5:56:40 PM | Ive worked food service all my life, and there, more so then any other profession, imo, is where people vent at strangers. If someone is having a bad day, woe unto the drive thru window cashier who has to deal with them. People who would otherwise be nice, respectful, and tolerant, just go nuclear on fast food and even casual dining staff.
This is why I stay in the kitchen away from the crazies  | |
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