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 TriggahGyal
Joined: 9/13/2009
Msg: 1
im in love with a guy should i tell himPage 1 of 1    
so im in love with him and ive known him for 5 yrs. we used to have a thing, but he changed a bit once he joined the canadian armed forces, ive been wanting to tell him for a while, but i lived with him last nov & dec and kinda made him really angry at me bc i had gotten kicked out of school & had a male friend over while he was away, ive apologized to him hundreds of times, and i REALLY want to let him know how i feel but when im around he completely ignores the fact that im there, and he even will leave a room if i enter it, what do i do to get him to forgive me and listen to what i have to say?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 2
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im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:51:35 AM
Cheating on a guy, in his own place, while he's out serving his country?

Oooaaaaaawchh.
You really have a tough hill to climb.

If he's still mad enough at you to leave the room ten months later, I don't know if there IS anything you could do. Maybe one of the ladies has an idea.
 BrandonT98
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 3
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:56:15 AM
You should tell him, but don't be surprised if he doesn't feel the same.

Personally, If I let a female friend stay with me and she had a guy over I wouldn't be to mad and let it slide (not a fan of strangers in my home), But if I had feelings for her I wouldn't want to speak with her either and if she came up to me after the fact saying that she loved me I wouldn't care after something like that.
Sounds like the damage has been done. Think you may have put your relationship (friend or more) down the toilet.

If it where the other way around and he slept with a girl in your place while you where away would you want anything to do with him?
 ~Pedro Sanchez~
Joined: 10/5/2009
Msg: 4
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:58:28 AM
Shush! Don't you dare tell him...don't be such a girl.
For a number of reasons:
One

when im around he completely ignores the fact that im there

I don't know about you...but its pretty hard talking to someone when they're not there.
Two

we used to have a thing, but he changed a bit

Guy disappears after jiggy. That's just bad juju.
Three

i lived with him last nov & dec and kinda made him really angry at me bc i had gotten kicked out of school & had a male friend over while he was away,

You took a male friend over IN HIS HOUSE while he was away. What's the word for it....let me see....how about: unethical? That's it! Any dood would go ballistic...and the only reason he hasn't is because you are like a little sister to him. I hope you didn't do the hanky panky...that would be like incest! Ewwww.

How about you listen to Sarah Blasko from the Overture and the Underscore album? She's got perfect advise in Perfect Now (awww, how fecking romantic)?
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 5
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im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 5:01:59 AM
Many men and women wont forgive or forget when someone who they had feelings for is unfaithful to them. I hear it all the time on the forum, more than half wont continue if they find out someone who was suppose to be close cheats. I realize we are all human wih human needs. The fact that you brought someone up to the place where the two of you made it your home makes it worse, a man knowing his women brought someone else in his den is a slap. With you getting kicked out of school seems like being irresponsable with your education. Add irresponsability with unfaithfulness adds up to a negative to most guys. Its one of the most devistating experiences anyone in a serious relationship will ever go through is an unfaithful mate. Do you really want him to throw back your love in your face? You will only get hurt more knowing the truth from him. Don't put him or yourself though anymore. I loved a women who decided to do what you did, I got very hurt from it, she realized what she did wrong, but I could not forget or forgive her for what she did to me. She would of been better off never having mentioned it, I didn't want to know. If she could of lived with her own grief over her behavior that is her own trial she is responsable for enduring, not putting it on me and asking me to live with her wrong doing.d You should take the que he has given you, learn from your past and make better judgements and decisons in the future.
 preachers
Joined: 10/9/2009
Msg: 6
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im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 5:11:31 AM
I think you are going to have trouble getting this bloke back. i suppose you could try writing him a letter expressing the way you feel. nothing ventured - nothing gained. you might be better of moving on if he not interested. i wish you luck hun x
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 7
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im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 5:43:30 AM

what do i do to get him to forgive me and listen to what i have to say?

Offer to let him bang your best GF.



Unfortunately, there's not much you can do. He's the type that takes betrayal very hard. Probably also believes once a cheater, always a cheater. Chalk it up as a lesson learned and move on. Too bad....you made your bed, now lie in it.
 Heptone
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 8
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:09:33 AM
Frankly, it sounds like he's in love with you, too. For what it's worth.
 feistyredangel
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 9
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:20:30 AM
Honestly, telling him at this point is just probably going to drive him further away from you. The guys are right that you are going to have a tough hill to climb to even get anywhere with this guy.

His actions are speaking so much louder than words right now. But what are your actions saying to him? You said you apologized hundreds of times but are you still displaying the same behavior? Meaning..it seems you must share some common friends. He saw how you cheated on him..so are you being 'true' to this feeling you have for him or are you doing the same things that you did when you lived with him?

If you are truly sorry, have truly changed and truly LOVE this guy...I would say for you to send him a letter or email. Take your time, own what you did wrong and let him know the changes. Make sure someone proof reads it and it's not written like your original post. Nothing personal, but apparently education is important to him or otherwise he wouldn't of cared about you getting kicked out of school. Then after you send it, do NOT expect a reply right away. Don't expect one ever. If you get one, all the better, but if not, that is your answer on how this man feels and its best for you to move on.
 1kindMan4U
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 10
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:23:06 AM
The indescretions of youth.

You're 19. Move out into your own place
 deborah815
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 11
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im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:40:08 AM
This is a really hard lesson to learn. Bad enough to cheat on someone, worse to bring the third party into your man's place, that's a real betrayal. Time will tell what will unfold. I agree with blayze209, make sure you have truly changed in your behavior because actions speak louder than empty words.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 12
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:42:46 AM
If I were him, I'd pretend I didn't even hear you say it.
 Navigator6
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 13
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im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:56:47 AM

what do i do to get him to forgive me and listen to what i have to say?

hehehe, you should have thought about all of this before had a male friend over while he was away! Frankly, after something like that, there would be nothing that you could say to me to make me forgive you. IMO, you burned that bridge long ago.

Christ Girl, you're only 19! Learn from your mistakes and move on.
 whowhatme
Joined: 5/28/2008
Msg: 14
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im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:13:25 AM
You cheated on him, he won't forgive you. Time to move on.
 Thesumofallparts
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 15
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:13:40 AM
I can see why you like/love him so much. He won't give in to you and accept this, he just decided to end it.
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 16
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im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:14:02 AM
I'm sure he knows how much you love him. I mean nothing says I love you like sleeping with someone else while he was away.
 hyoid
Joined: 5/12/2009
Msg: 17
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:18:59 AM

ive apologized to him hundreds of times,


If, after all this, he still walks out of the room you're in there is no chance of reconciliation.
One apology would have been sufficient IF he was inclined to re-establish the relationship. It's past time to let it go.
 MrPlatonic
Joined: 8/25/2008
Msg: 18
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:29:54 AM
You can tell him whatever you want to at this point because it probably won't make a difference.


what do i do to get him to forgive me and listen to what i have to say?


He'll most likely listen. Forgiveness is another matter.

Your best chance is not to tell him, but to show in your actions that you can change (if you have any intention whatsoever in doing so). A good start would be to go back to school if you haven't done so already.
 Manwich2009
Joined: 5/11/2009
Msg: 19
im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:34:29 AM
Listen, most guys will give a woman a second chance for anything except being a slut !

You crossed the line a thousand times by doing it in his home, and a thousand times more because he was serving his country at the time.

If it's attention you want,You're better off putting a for sale sign around your neck and standing infront of the men's prison !
 slybandit
Joined: 7/10/2006
Msg: 20
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im in love with a guy should i tell him
Posted: 10/22/2009 9:44:19 AM
"what do i do to get him to forgive me and listen to what i have to say?"

Here is a five point plan that will work flawlessly.

1. Attend at your local lingerie shop and purchase the most outré outfit you can find. And when I state outré, do not think Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. Think truck stop h**ker with clear plastic stilettos. Don outfit, and place overcoat on top for public acceptability.

2. Attend at liquor store and purchase bottle of tequila.

3. Attend at his yard, outside his dorm room/barracks, at his residence.

4. Consume tequila. And when I state consume, I mean all of it. Or as much as your system can handle without (ahem).

5. Drunk dial your love interest. Tell him you are in his yard. Begin screaming his praises as a lover, describing various acts you did, and acts you want to do. Be creative. Flash passers-by, mime various acts with the tequila bottle. Insist that you will perform said acts with his friends, family members, random passers-by, unless he comes down to get you. Insist at 80 decibels that his Johnson is so good that it cures cancer.

Seriously, woman, you have about the same chance of getting back with this guy that John Demjanjuk has of getting off with a littering charge in a courtroom in Tel Aviv.
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