| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:41:07 PM | | I met this guy who surprisingly I have chemistry with. I never was a LTR girl, not b/c I someday don't want a relationship, its just that I may be a bit cynical towards relationships at this time. So we hung out a few times and spent a whole weekend together, including him sleeping over...no sex though. (Cuddling, kissing, and small further advances) I must admit I am intrigued, but that frightens me a bit so to take the pressure, game playing, and anxiety away, I told him he is a great a guy, even has the qualities of a keeper, but that I just want to have good sex and good times chilling with him, no relationship. He agreed stating that he feels the same way. So we chilled again and went out for a drink n a game of pool, talked by the water, grabbed some food, and came back to my house to watch a movie. We cuddled up n even fooled around a little, but instead of having sex with me (knowing he could now) he just gave me a great back massage and cuddled me to sleep. Why if men love sex, and him having an opportunity, did he not take his chance. He still wants to hang out again, but I guess I dont know what he wants. Any suggestions or anyone man or women been in a similar situation??? | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:43:30 PM | Do you really think women are the only ones who want more than just sex?
This is a new era hon.... there are just as many men out there who don't want to be somebody's play toy as there are women. Perhaps he is one of those people. Or perhaps he wants something more than just a FWB type thing with you and rather than start something up that he can't have, he's fine with just chillin out. | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:44:37 PM |
Why if men love sex, and him having an opportunity, did he not take his chance. He still wants to hang out again, but I guess I dont know what he wants. Any suggestions or anyone man or women been in a similar situation???
If it's only sex that you want than you should have initiated it... | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:46:35 PM | | Gee, maybe he has some morals, standards, values... and screwing some cynical chick he hardly knows isn't all that appealing as you assume it should be. Maybe he's concerned about catching a disease from you, or having you wind up pregnant. | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 1:58:15 PM | Yeah I see he has morals and standards n I dig it.
"and screwing some cynical chick he hardly knows isn't all that appealing as you assume it should be"...no one stated it in that fashion.. I am not cynical, just frightened at times about intimacy... and he knows I have been tested n have no diseases n there is protection for pregnancy.
Ur answer seemed to have a rudeness about it and its context. So..gee, maybe u should not respond to my posts anymore | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:07:31 PM | | Maybe he's really confused, because you told him he's a keeper, but you don't want to keep him. Then you said you didn't want a relationship, but went and did all sorts of relationship-y things with him. And you said you wanted to have sex with him, but didn't have sex with him. | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:09:21 PM | OP, you stated you just wanted to have good sex, nothing wrong with that, you just may have found a guy who sees good sex in a different light than you do and needs more than a physical attraction for it to be good. He could be struggling too, wondering why he can’t just have fun sex with someone he likes to hang with. It’s possible, its something I have had a hard time with in the past, now I know it's just not my thing.
You do contradict yourself, you say that you’re not a LTR girl, yet you would like to have one someday but you’re cynical. Why? Maybe he senses this and hopes you will open up to the idea of more than a FWB. I don’t know, I don’t know this guy or what his motive is, but seeing as he has had a green light and didn’t take it, its possible. Then again, maybe he is scared of you. | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:21:23 PM | OP... Why don't you simply ask him why he didn't take you up on your offer?
The best any of us can offer is speculation.
If you're prepared to have sex with him, surely you're able to TALK with him... aren't you??? | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:42:38 PM | | you are seeminly to young to know you don't have a guy overnight unless your intending to marry him. Yes you are afraid of intimacy because you are naive and that is all right. If he just wanted to be with you and you alone than take that for its worth and don't push to not have a relationship and have a good relationship w/o sex being the priority. There is Plentyof Fish in the sea and don't give it all to one unless your sure. Good Luck | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:48:32 PM | i think he was just exercising the good times chillin with you and maybe the next step will be sex, it is his perogative too you know.
op
not all men want sex on the first date or the 2nd or whatever date. i dated a guy who kinda pushed for sex the 2nd and 3rd date, i told him no. the next day, i told him i wanted to start from scratch again, no heavy making out, etc. that i was not ready for that. he actually said he was happy to have me say that. that he feels pressured sometimes to push for sex because that is what men are expected to do. we ended up dating for 4 months before we reached the point of intimacy.
i think you met a man that wants or is satisfied getting to chill with you and not purely for sexual conquest. enjoy him, let it take its own pathway, without trying to control his response to you.
kaylee | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:49:37 PM | | He didn't want to have sex with you so he didn't have sex with you. He is not obliged to have sex at every opportunity. I bet he can even pass by a restaurant without having to go in and order dinner. | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 2:50:13 PM | | It just means he felt more comfortable giving you a massage. Massage is an act of giving someone else pleasure, it is not a selfish act. I would think he would be up for sex another time like when you woke up in the morning, or another date in the future. Just because you give the guy the greeen flag should not be a rejection if he chooses not to run with it imediatly. Its kind of like being given a credit card, do you really want to rack up a bill so quickly, no you wait till the time calls for spending. The time may not have been right for him to have sex just like a women needs to feel comfortable having sex. Be patient, maybe since you are turned on do a little seducing yourself, let him see your needs. When he is giving you a massage, take his hands and gently guide them to where you want them. He will get the message. | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:07:47 PM | Any suggestions or anyone man or women been in a similar situation??? Yeah, if you like this guy, tell him that you are all about cynical about relationships at this time. Then he'll either sex you like you want him to, or he'll bolt and you can go find another go to sex. This ain't rocket science.
Why if men love sex, and him having an opportunity, did he not take his chance. Maybe because he values close interpersonal relationships over impersonal random sexual experiences?
He still wants to hang out again, but I guess I dont know what he wants. Oh yes you do. His actions speak clearly. He isn't looking for random sex. He wants to get to know a woman more before sexing her, he likes chilling, playing pool, spending time at the beach, going out to eat, watching movies at home, and cuddling. What's the problem again???  | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:14:19 PM | | BECAUSE some people see sex as a part of relationship. Becuase you are just dating I do not see serious relationship. He know it is not what you want. | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:23:41 PM | | For some men sex without love is just empty. Or sex for the sake of sex is empty too. There is so much more to life and relationships than sex... but so many of us focus on it above all else. | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:26:18 PM | Stories like that of the OP kind of irritate me...
Like Arabian Angel said, if you want it take it! When a woman starts going for my zipper it usually take an Act of Congress to stop what is about to go down (no pun intended)
What it seems like is going on here to me is the OP wants her cake and to eat it too. She wants the intimacy and closeness and MUTUAL efforting on the sex side of the coin, without any of the strings attached.
The problem is if you just want the action....if you just want the booty...then you need to be all about the booty.
Come over....a little chit chat.....maybe get a drink....strip and get down to business.
End of story. | |
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| Holding off on having sex with a women??
Posted: 10/22/2009 3:26:38 PM | | maybe he just doesnt have that kind of attraction for you... seriously, a 27 year old that is that jaded? = serious emotional issues. | |
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