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Posted: 10/22/2009 3:36:43 PM | Can they be reported? How do you go about getting someone panelled if they won't allow anyone into their house. She is aware that she is living in squaller. She is in her late 70ties and still puts the fear of God into her adult children. When one of her son's showed up with his wife to
tell her they were there to help her get things sorted out, she freaked and went into I'm having an anxiety, heart attack mode. She is extremely manipulative and use to getting her way. There are health concerns for a sick family member who is living with her. Don't want to go into too many details. Family members are either not realizing or accepting how serious the problem is or just don't want to deal with it.
It's a very sad situation for the family member living with her as she resents anyone knowing her true living conditions and is in constant fear someone will throw some thing out. MYOB or.... | |
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Posted: 10/22/2009 3:53:17 PM | | You have to call the fire department. That also happened to my neighbour. You could not walk in the door it was all boxes, and to get into the living room you had to walk through the kitchen. The only problem was you had to suck in your stomach and walk side ways, they went in, assessed her, and put her in a nursing home. Its called a fire hazzard. She could harm others in her hoarding. | |
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Posted: 10/22/2009 4:00:40 PM | You can always make an anonymous call to the abuse hotline (Adult Protective Services) in your area so that they can investigate it further as this sounds like elderly neglect in many forms .............
If you feel that someone in her home is in immediate danger, call 911 or the local police for immediate help.
You can always go to visit the Hotline section of the Nation National Center on Elder Abuse website. | |
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Posted: 10/22/2009 4:37:24 PM | Purrty there is no elder abuse here at all. The elderly lady is a hoarder. Her adult kids are trying to help but elderly lady will not accept help. A hoarder is a person that keeps garbage, tons of stuff that is not needed and who will not throw a thing away.
Someone has to call the fire department and tell them of the situation. They know what to do. They are used to it. | |
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Posted: 10/22/2009 4:54:01 PM |
"There are health concerns for a sick family member who is living with her."
Hoarding can be dangerous. One of them has to leave. This person is in over her head, literally. She should not be expected to be taking care of an ill person. It is probably too much stress for her, and has been for some time, seeing as she is having trouble doing housekeeping.
If you don't want to go the route of the fire department, you might consider hiring a professional organizer (the fire department can probably recommend someone.) There are people who specialize in dealing with hoarding. This might take longer than if you get the fire department involved.
Since she is over 70, she probably is too old to learn to live another way, and probably won't want to anyway. She might be struggling with some dementia and memory loss and is embarrassed about it. So consider that moving both of them out to some other home might be your best option. If she is full of anxiety, and is irritable and defensive, she might benefit from being evaluated for medication for depression or anxiety. Hoarding is a form of OCD, and there are some medications and therapies that can help with that. | |
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Posted: 10/22/2009 9:11:38 PM | There's much I'm not getting here. Fundamentally is the issue of getting this woman 'panelled'. I've never heard of the term - looked it up and, aside from carpentry, it's being put on a jury. I'm sure that's not what you mean. Euphemism for committed?
And squalor, as my grandmother used to say, "One man's junk is another's treasure" Growing up, my mother had the bedroom, my father and I, beds on opposite sides of the living room. Her clothes collection dominated her room. Currently, my father lives a basic life in his room in the now two bedroom house; my mother's clothes 'own' the bedroom and she sleeps in the living room. I guess it wouldn't be an issue if a woman had a walk-in closet like the one those women in the Sex and the City movie were gushing over with their impromptu fashion show.
When I was young, 'help getting things sorted' meant junking indiscriminately not sorting. Unless someone shares your interests, everything you have is junk. My 'hoard' of Cd's and DVD's are on shelves alphabetical. Put it this way, I think it was Dennis Miller who said (of a celebrity) if he/she can afford the cost of treatment at Betty Ford, he/she doesn't really need it yet. Meaning management.
And if it's 'filth', hygiene is relative. Some people could have a cow merely over how my grandfather would stir the evaporated milk into his coffee with the handle of his spoon. | |
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Posted: 10/23/2009 9:53:09 AM | vojibo, im very surprised at your comments here.
Hoarding is a sickness, sorry.
Panelling is when the family, loved one, claims the mother/father/ is incapable of looking after themselves any longer. it happens every single day of life in the world.
a lot of older folks cant or wont admit they need help. this is where panelling comes in.
a dr. and a few others, have to listen to your case, and evaluate the person you are claiming incompetant. if they rule in your favour, someone is appointed power of attorney, such as son or daughter, and then they do what they have to do. which is getting a nursing home, or assisted living apartment for thier loved one. you are also responisble of their money, paying bills, recieving their mail, making sure they go to the drs. appointments etc.
have your ever watched the show, Hoarders on channel 20? A&E | |
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Posted: 10/23/2009 1:48:51 PM | | Paneling is also a good way to have someone committed if you want control of their finances. | |
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Posted: 10/23/2009 4:52:28 PM | fying-high, yeah you are right. but, remember the drs. have to agree. they made my mother get panelled at the hospital. we were begging her for a few years now to get help, but when they are sick, they dont know they are. finally my brother got power of attorney. which is good, she was about 20 k in debt. she had 5 credit cards going at once. she would call us for food, or what ever saying she is broke. she was running down the street giving city workers 20 dollars at a time,saying you work so hard go for a coffee. and those you know whats were taking it from her. a kid was walking her dog 2 times a night for 5 bux each shot. there was nothing we could do to stop it. we even called the credit card companies and begged them to stop giving her credit. they said she paid on time, so she can have a card. it was a very sad, costly, inconvenient waste of time on all parties involved. when she had to have her leg cut off, due to diabetes, the dr said he wants to panell her. thank heavens she failed. she is now happy living in an assisted living apartment, eating properly, and my brother pays all her bills on time. and no more credit cards.
so no, he is not getting any money. in fact due to his generosity he is paying out of his pocket every month 300 bux to cover costs. | |
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Posted: 10/23/2009 5:04:22 PM | Hi folks,
Thanks for the feedback.
By no means is the ''hoarder" being abused....she is the abuser. An adult child (divorced)is living with her because she can't work
as she is getting chemo for cancer. She wants to get out as quickly as possible but in the meantime is living in squaller and can't touch a thing to clean up or put away anything as her mother will freak. The person I am speaking of has grown children of her own but they can't help their mother at this time because they live in another province and just assume the "hoarder"
her mother, will be kind to her own daughter. She is not!
I think I will follow the advise of simplelife (thank-you) and call the fire department!!
And BTW why is it that unless you are talking about sex or making subtle inuendo about SEX someone is always ready to DELETE you! OK I'm whining now! | |
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Posted: 10/23/2009 6:11:33 PM | | Did I miss a sex thread recently? Damn. Not like we get lot of new threads. | |
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Posted: 10/23/2009 6:34:25 PM | | thanks interludesolo, by the way, if that person with cancer needs a room, i live alone and have a spare room here. i have a 2 bedroom place. its small, but its clean. you can email me on here if you need help with this situation. | |
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Posted: 10/23/2009 10:31:43 PM |
And BTW why is it that unless you are talking about sex or making subtle inuendo about SEX someone is always ready to DELETE you! OK I'm whining now!
Slightly off-topic, interludesolo, but I had two posts of what I thought were a unique and funny anecdotes (they werre received well IRL) that I put in the humour forum. Both were voted off the island. I thought I read that if you get a third strike your profile gets deleted. So most of my postings have gone to another forum website though I check in with POF regularly.
Mmm...would subtle innuendos be misspelling your POF nom de plume as its homonym? I saw the possibility but i's na proper to actually use it. | |
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Posted: 10/24/2009 4:39:14 AM | OMG!!! These Reality Shows....I actually had a friend call me and tell me...
" Did you know you are a HOARDER????" after she watched that show....
Yup!! I also Qualify for " INTERVENTION " and could be on " The Biggest Loser"
I also have a few Questions???? TALK SEX with Sue Johannson...
Best Reality show on right now is MLB. | |
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Posted: 10/25/2009 12:48:23 AM | | Wow here i thought i just wanted to collect stuff now i find out i'm some kinda lunatic for not throwing everything out that others may not think i should have. So where do i start throwin? Books, antiques,tools,ornaments,kid's school pictures, my school pictures i don't know where to start but don't use most of it at any given time. | |
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Posted: 10/25/2009 9:49:17 AM | dudley watch the show just once, just once to see the difference between colletcting something or having a hobby or hoarding.
you asked where do start???
anything you didnt touch, use, or wear in one full year, give it away or throw it out. | |
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Posted: 10/25/2009 10:06:35 AM | The only thing I'm able to collect these days is filth.....
And not the internet or magazine varity...
Time to get out the vacuum cleaner. | |
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Posted: 11/1/2009 10:42:55 PM |
dudley watch the show just once, just once to see the difference between colletcting something or having a hobby or hoarding.
But i don't have television so it makes it difficult to watch some shows. I can pretend to watch but it probably wouldn't be the same.
Almost my whole family hoardes. I am getting better though, got rid of 5 truckloads this year and tore down a shed i didn't need and would have had to fill. I still have fun with it though, 'til i get annoyed then i'll throw some more. Have a throw away party! | |
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