Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Michael1074
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 1
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?Page 1 of 1    
Hello all. I'm turning 35 on Sunday the 25th, so I'm not exactly a stranger to dating. However, here I am looking to pick the brains of all you helpful and insightful women. javascript:smilie('')

Last night I had a second date with a girl I find myself liking more and more. The first date was one week prior to yesterday. The backstory, as quickly as possible: This girl, "Mary," I'll call her, and I have been casual friends for 15 months, hanging out in groups on occasion, whether at a bar or watching a movie at her house. I was briefly involved with a somewhat close friend of this girl's back in March, but this seems to not be an issue, as far as I can tell (her best friend suggested several times in the past couple of months that I ask "Mary" out, in fact). I date a good bit but never ever serially. This girl is the first in a while that I can actually click well enough with to at least see the possibility of something real, and I'm totally cool with giving it time to develop in that way. I could have patience with her and with myself.

The first date went extremely well with over 5 hours of conversation and lots of laughter. I'm not big on the cliche end-of-first-date kiss, and neither of us gave the other the impression that it was wanted at that moment when I walked her to the door. I'd say we're both pretty shy and reserved, but not painfully so. We each told the other over the next couple of days that we had a great time and should do it again. So I asked her out again and we've been texting here and there. A goodnight text from her two nights ago (after I watched a movie with her and a couple of mutual friends at her house) and an "I'm looking forward to tonight" text a few hours before the date last night. We had a great dinner then played bocce ball and sipped on good beers for a few hours. (We were supposed to go to a comedy improv show, but we lost track of time and completely missed it!) After bocce and beer, I suggested we buy a bottle of wine and enjoy the warm night at the playground park near her house before we called it a night. She said one of her friends was down and had made her feel guilty about being busy instead of hanging out with her. I took her lead and acquiesced, saying we'd go back to her house where she'd left her phone. We eventually met up with the friend at a bar very near my own house, and "Mary" insisted she drive separately so I wouldn't have to drive the 10 miles back to her house when I'd already been driving all evening. So we became a trio hanging out in a bar, and it continued to go well despite that. She even mentioned hanging out again soon. But my desire to take the date into a more intimate realm was obviously nixed. Outside in the parking lot at closing time, she gave me a long and very nice hug and said thank you and she had a really great time. Her friend was standing 10 feet away, so clearly it was not a first-kiss moment.

I apologize for being so long-winded. My question is this: Would your judgment call be that this girl is interested in me? I'm almost positive we'll have a third date. I'm only eager for a kiss so as to establish a romantic declaration and avoid sliding into the dreaded "friend zone." There are obviously mixed signals here. Should the fact that she chose to meet up with her friend (but still wanted me to come with her, and it was 1 am so she could've easily chosen to meet her friend without me) instead of having alone time with me be a red flag?

i.e. Is she into me? I appreciate any and all input. Thank you so much in advance.
 officersnarky
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 2
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 12:22:06 PM
Hmmmm. I would try for another date...just the two of you and maybe avoid alcohol. When you are together, does she casually touch you? Or does she keep her hands to herself, arms crossed?
 iTsMeJuLi
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 3
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 12:22:45 PM
Maybe she's into you but taking things slow.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 4
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 12:22:52 PM
No, she is not into you. If she were, you would have gotten a kiss on the first date. If you like her AND you think she is not into you, your best bet is to ignore her and let her call you. In the meantime, move on.
 Michael1074
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 5
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 12:28:59 PM
Thanks for the replies so far. I've got a decent radar and usually can tell if a girl is or isn't interested as the first couple of dates go by. My instincts tell me that she is certainly interested but there are elements that make me question that. I posted this because I can see things with this girl going either way.

And by the way, I myself didn't want a kiss on the first date and thus did not try or give any signals of doing so.
 officersnarky
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 6
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 12:35:55 PM
Ask for another date. If you get the urge to kiss her, do it. If she turns her cheek, she's not interested. If she kicks you in the nads, she's not interested. Um...maybe wear a cup just in case.
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 3:36:21 PM
Better get big on the "cliche end-of-first-date kiss" fast because that's exactly what will tell you how she feels.

Somebody has to make the first move so make it already!

Ask her out to dinner, a traditional date so there is no confusion, talk to her and look into her eyes, then kiss her!
Maybe not at the table but at least take her home and kiss her on the porch or on her couch if she invites you in.

I think you are the one sending mixed signals.
If I'm asked out on a date I fully expect to be kissed goodnight when I'm taken home.
I'm shy as well so I where as I may not initiate the first kiss (I expect a man to do that and I haven't be disappointed yet) I would give you a hug after if I liked you...to cop a sniff of your neck.


And by the way, I myself didn't want a kiss on the first date and thus did not try or give any signals of doing so.


No wonder there is confusion...you are definitely the one sending mixed signals!
Why are you bothering to date someone you don't want to kiss?
Who doesn't want a kiss if you like the person?
She probably thinks you don't like her that way.
 actualizing
Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 8
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:07:24 PM
Yes, I agree with the last poster that you are perhaps the one who is sending mixed messages. I think you should be more forthcoming.
 PeggyI
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 9
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:13:13 PM
Next date, try a short little hello kiss.

Work from there.
 NORTY01
Joined: 10/5/2008
Msg: 10
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:17:04 PM

If she kicks you in the nads,
Have her ass arrested and let the DA's office deal with her...problem solved.

assault is assault, it doesn't matter what genitalia you have...
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:58:56 PM
Slow down!
You don't even know each other and you're carrying on like you've been dating for a while.
Stop reading SO much into nothing.
See what happens and just go for the ride.
Best of luck.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:56:26 PM
Mate, slow down, detach your head for a minute (you're obviously not using it), shake the dust out, and reattach it a bit tighter this time.

Listen, you've been friends for ages, casual (but so what), so there is no need to rush the romance with this woman (by the way, drop the "girl" talk, she's a woman, think of her as a woman). She thinks enough of you to have gone out with you, alone, at least twice, and she trusts you (solitary in a park), so just capitalize on the relationship you two already have. Don't rush or force anything -- let things develop naturally. It's not as if you only just met her.

TK
{good grief, hormones and energy are wasted on the young}
 WackMC
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 13
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:01:10 AM
Have fun with "friends first", bud...

(snicker...)
 officersnarky
Joined: 10/14/2009
Msg: 14
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:13:37 AM



Have her ass arrested and let the DA's office deal with her...problem solved.

assault is assault, it doesn't matter what genitalia you have


Yeah and see how long it takes them to just make it a class C simple assault or not even bother with charges cuz if he's attempting to kiss her and she's not wanting it, she's defefnding herself.
 MBark68
Joined: 7/7/2009
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:07:06 AM
Sounds like you're doing fine. Just try to make sure you get to walk her to her door again next time and kiss her.

On a separate note. It sounds like you drank quite a bit to be driving. I would recommend drinking less if you're going to drive or calling a cab. You're not going to get to first base if you end up in jail or in a wreck.
 cifuareal1
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 16
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:44:17 PM
Oh for God's sake, you are 35 years old? Man up and make a move already. Definitely go out again and take a RISK. That's what dating is all about. If you're feeling it, show it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Ask her directly what she thinks of you. When she asks you what you think of her, SHOW her.
 AlwaysExpectMiracles
Joined: 5/14/2009
Msg: 17
view profile
History
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:50:15 PM
She obviously likes you. She is easily guilted, but it doesn't mean she doesn't like you. Her friend had to stand aside when she hugged you, that means you're not in the friend zone. Friends hug in front of each other.


<div class='quote'> No, she is not into you. If she were, you would have gotten a kiss on the first date. If you like her AND you think she is not into you, your best bet is to ignore her and let her call you.

I tend to disagree with that. I don't initiate kisses and phone calls on first few dates.
 ScreamingBanshee
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 18
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:53:28 PM
You've been on two dates so why don't you call her and gauge convo on the subject on how she feels about you? You claim obvious mixed signals and you don't want to make the mistake of kissing her when she doesn't feel that way to reciprocate in return.
 cifuareal1
Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 19
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:05:11 PM

No, she is not into you. If she were, you would have gotten a kiss on the first date. If you like her AND you think she is not into you, your best bet is to ignore her and let her call you. In the meantime, move on.


I completely disagree with this post.
 angelghbtvs\
Joined: 10/19/2009
Msg: 20
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:38:33 AM
u said u were casual friends for a couple a months right.... she's prolly still stuck in friend mode....m ake a move let her know u want to do the dating thing make sure the next time u go out its an offical dates with no tag alongs
 monarchmom
Joined: 4/13/2009
Msg: 21
view profile
History
Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:26:35 AM
I say she is into you. Personally I wouldn't go out of my way to hug someone in front of a friend unless I wanted him to know I had a great time and enjoyed being with him. I also wouldn't keep texting a guy saying I had a great time if I didn't want him to ask again. Taking it even further I would have used the 'friend' as an excuse to break away if I had no interest...I only ask a guy along to meet my friends if I wanted him to be accepted by them.
Good luck to you!
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Girl  > Two dates, no kiss, mixed signals, time to worry?