| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 9:15:37 PM | i was just called closed minded by someone who responded to my ad because i refuse to date a man with kids, grown and up and out of the house or otherwise. my question is, why would men or women for that matter, have such low regard for their children that they would even consider getting involved with someone who doesn't want to be bothered by their kids? even if the kids are adults and out of the house, if we get involved, i'm going to have to meet them eventually, they may not like me, i may not like them, they resent me for "trying to be their new mother", they would come first in any and all decisions he has to make about our future...
i could go on and on about my reasons why i feel this way, but really, what does it matter? if that's how i feel, why do men still insist on responding to my ad? if i came across an ad where a man even hinted that he didn't like animals, or wanted to meet someone without pets, especially cats, i'd move on to the next ad so fast i'd leave skid marks! and this is regarding animals! it's obvious i have a higher regard for animals than some men do for their own kids. How f*cked up is that?! my only reasoning for that is maybe men think i'm just in it for the sex, and that's all that they want too, but my ad clearly states otherwise. so i am extremely frustrated and confused. i know there are men out there who feel the way i do. they are few and far between, and unique!
if anyone wants to reply to this, please do not ask me why i don't want kids. i feel that is personal question and i will only address it with my potential significant other.
okay, i'm ready for all the hate replies stating what a mean selfish **** iam, go ahead. i've read and heard it all before, not directed at me, per se, but i'm very aware of how the child-free by choice community gets trashed on. and i could give a sh*t!
oh, and also can't wait to get the replies stating "this is why you're still single at age 42"  | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 9:18:23 PM | I guess they are attracted to you and hoping they would have a chance with them. Don't be a ****y, just say NO to them is all you have to do.
You have an impressive profile and you are very pretty. Hope you find the one you seek, and good luck!
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 9:37:58 PM | | You have every right to like and want what you want. Those that don't like your choices are only upset because you have excluded them from possible consideration. While you have limited the dating pool, that is your choice and you have every right, and it really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 10:01:02 PM | | I am not very different. I have chosen not to to get involved with women that have children they are rearing. I will see women that have raised thier children and on thier own. I found there are too many restrictions and associated issues when dating a women with children. I dont blame her for it I just choose to let them take care of thier responsability, and rightly so. Many children resent someone other than there father, and makes trying to fit into thier lives and the mothers difficult. So I realized that it was wrong for me to be there, it was the childs life with thier mother that was the important thing for the mother, I was secondary. So women whithout child are more available and they have fulfilled thier maturnal need for having and raising thier child. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 10:04:07 PM | C Leesa I feel a strong desire to motivate all the men with kids (grown or otherwise)
to march around your residence in boycott. Wonders what the % of child-less men are, maybe 2% for your age group.
I suggest using one of those International dating services, but choose any continent but Africa, as those brothers in the Motherland definitely know how to have kids.
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 10:14:15 PM | " but my ad clearly states otherwise. "
yes, so if they reply, they are insulting your intelligence or projecting theirs. Simply block them.
If you want to alleviate the hastle, since 2 out 3 pics are of your body, perhaps the wrong ones are reading you wrong...also, claiming you want something in between kids and a one night stand might be misinterpreted to make perhaps as pressing an issue ignored ...
perhaps a better profile may discourage these types while targeting the right one(s) for you.
I dunno,,,
hope this helps
and don't let anyone judge your honesty harshly thinking its harsh honesty either, you are you, and you know what you want. Very simple as that. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 10:20:39 PM | so after reading your ad, I'm not sure why guys with kids would respond. Your ad very clearly states you aren't interested in single fathers. so I'm thinking, that the clowns who do respond are 1)ignorant,2)can't read 3) feel the "no kids" doesn't apply to them and their 4 children,5)somehow they feel they are such a catch that you will oversee the fact they have a couple of snotgobblers.
I don't consider you to be selfish. Somewhere out there is a guy who feels like you do, and you both click. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 10:26:56 PM | OP
Well, one negative or "off" response is no real cause for concern. Your profile clearly states what you don't want, to extreme levels.
I'm sure that there's a perfect person for you, somewhere. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 10:29:21 PM | | Really? Well you are beautiful and I don't think they probably looked beyond your pics! I'm thinking they looked at your pic in the dark peach dress and thought something else. Maybe you should look a lil closer at that pic and remove it. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 10:29:32 PM | I’d like to share an observation with you. Your experience has much in common with others I’ve read of in the forums over the last few years.
For some reason, when a woman’s profile says she wants no players, she gets players. When she wants no liars, cheaters, married men, alcoholics or abusers, what she gets is liars, cheaters, married men, etc. Not in every instance, probably, but often enough for the pattern to emerge.
Maybe if you find a way to address your profile to the man you do want, rather than the many men you don’t, he will have a better chance of hearing you call.
But I would recommend you visit the Profile Review forum and ask for some feedback there. I think you’ll get some good advice and probably get much better results. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 10:46:30 PM | They are replying to you because they see a woman who is showing a nipple on a dating site and think that you would ,in all likelihood, have sex with them.They also may be replying because they believe they can change you. Contrary to popular belief it is not only women who when they get into a relationship, think they can change the other person.
I understand you not wanting to date a man who has children. I feel the same way although presently I am dating someone with children. I have not met them yet and will not till we have dated at least a year, and even then he will have to accept that at the very most all I will be is their fathers girlfriend. I will not play the role of new mommy, I will not babysit, I will not go on family vacations. I will treat his children kindly,compassionately, and respectfully but that is all. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:41:59 PM | "Why do men with kids respond to my ad?"
Prolly because they think you are hot... which you are. The guys with children that hit on you... you owe them no explanation. We all have our standards and our deal breakers. If they cannot understand that... too bad for them.
If I am looking over a woman's profile and she states "I will not date guitar playing long haired freaks" then guess what. I would not message her nor would my feelings be hurt by her dislike of long haired guitarists.
Just don't worry about it OP. You are a hot dish that many child free men would love to date.
Happy fishing! | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:45:55 PM | OP - don't worry about it, you'll find the right childfree man. I did. ;) They're out there - have faith! ;)
As for the guy that tried to tell you off - he's just having sour grapes because he truly believed his allure would trump your long held beliefs. At least he didn't do the bait and switch I've heard about, "I won't tell her about my kids, but once she gets to know me, she'll accept them!" Just so short sighted... *sigh*. People should be honest (as you have been in your profile), and be willing to accept said honesty when it's staring at you in the face.
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:48:05 PM | | WoW, if a dude made this thread everyone would be jumpin his shyt for being a selfish bastage.. LOL gotta love the double standards. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:56:42 PM | I get the same thing,,, I make it quite clear, I have no interest in young children, my youngest is 17, his should be the same age or older,,,
How is it a guy with a 10 year old, thinks I'm going to be cool with this?
I'm also not intersted in smokers, but they write too.... It's because they (the morons writing reguardless) all think they are above reproach. Or so hot that your own needs and desires would be dismissed or disarmed by their "wonderfulness"....... Not that that's a word, but you get the idea.
They see pictures,,, and the moe lines they throw in the water, the better chances they have of catching something.
Or maybe they are just really lonely and grasping at straws hoping for an email to validate their exsistance? | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:10:38 AM |
They are replying to you because they see a woman who is showing a nipple
Nope. I just checked all three pictures. No nipple. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:12:50 AM | Shaitan wrote:
WoW, if a dude made this thread everyone would be jumpin his shyt for being a selfish bastage.. LOL gotta love the double standards.
I don't doubt you're right dear lady - but I just wonder why? Why would people react so differently based on the gender of the OP? Curious...
*edited* Um, OP dear? I just did a photo check and there is a bit of a nip slip in the last picture with you in the medium pink dress. Ooops! | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 12:33:57 AM | Nope. I just checked all three pictures. No nipple.
When you click on the third picture and enlarge it you can clearly see the top of her left nipple.It's the arm she is holding the camera with. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 1:24:42 AM | | I think that previous posters are correct in saying that they are probably writing to you because you are very attractive and it is worth a try to see if they can date you or they are trying to change you. I read your profile and i don't think there would be too many men that would fit your profile as you have many requirements and dislikes and your profile is not very positive but at least you know what you want which is better then being vague. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 1:26:49 AM |
what does it matter? if that's how i feel, why do men still insist on responding to my ad?
OP -- One could ask the same of single Mommas out there that do the EXACT same thing. They pop a quick "f*ck you" on your head as they pass through and see that you have decided to exclude them from your dating pool. So they feel somewhat compelled to shit on your head and call you names and try to piss you off just because hey, you don't roll like that.
All they're doing is wasting time. Mine and theirs.
Anyways, you have a preference. You prefer to not get hitched up with someone who has kids. That's called choice. You have every right to it, as do we all. You're under no obligation to accept whoever comes your way - hence the stipulations and restrictions we're afforded here. Sadly, they have yet to introduce the kids filter. Seems that would go a long way to helping people like you, and the men that have to hear the same kinda wah wah crap from females. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 1:47:13 AM | It is fruitless to get “extremely frustrated and confused” over this. You will never be able to control the actions of others, and there will always be those who think the rules (or in this case, deal breakers or preferences) don’t apply to them. Why cause yourself unnecessary consternation? Don’t even bother sending a response to the ones who are blatant mismatches. They’ve already proven they can’t read, anyway.  Good luck! | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:32:05 AM | If they are grown up and out of the house you aren't going to be having that much of a relationship with them. Face the facts, a guy who is single around your age range is probably going to be divorced with a few kids. If they aren't, look closely at their relationship history. How many relationships did they have that got serious? Do they even want a serious relationship?
I think you at least need to give it a TRY and date someone who either has grown kids or kids that live with the mother. Men at 42+ that don't have an ex wife or an ex long time girlfriend probably aren't looking for a GF. Ok, men who aren't looking for a gf can have kids too, but ask yourself why a guy at almost 50 was never married or never made an attempt to settle? | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:57:22 AM |
Nope. I just checked all three pictures. No nipple.
yes there is.....ohhh Ive seen something else but I'll keep it to myself, hmm keep quiet about it I mean
Love those subliminal pics - OP that's where your problem lays, I mean is - subliminal. | |
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| Why do men with kids respond to my ad?
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:54:32 AM | Most dont read the text on the ads, they see a pretty face and whip off a note.
Blcok the ones who fire back at you, simple really. Its strangers online, who cares? | |
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