| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:03:55 AM | Hi all
Sorry to sound like a bit of a misery guts but I have tried several dating sites and on all of them I don't get responses when I send mails out. Infact this is the only site where I have ever got ANY response and those have stopped replying to my mails now. I can see that people do look at my profile though after I have messaged them so something is obviously putting them off, can someone have a look at my profile and tell me what they think it might be?
Thank you! http://www.plentyoffish.com/member12594144.htm | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:25:51 AM | Hey
" I am looking initially for new fr IE nds and possibly more in the future with the right person." - You are looking to date. Change the "hanging out" to "date".
I was told to chop down my profile, which I did. Yours on the other hand is way too short. A lady responded in one of the threads that a profile should have three sections: Your traits and quirks with examples, your interests with some (but not too much) elaboration, and the qualities you seek in a girl. Try that.
Also, the more pictures you have, the better. Get one where you smile! Smiles will get you much further.
Good luck to you! | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:01:20 PM | Well at least I got 1 response here lol thanks for the tip Mel I'll have a look at the profile and make a few changes.
Anyone else got anything to add? | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:29:59 PM | Your profile comes across as boring and redundant. It says next to nothing about you and you generate zero interest with it. Your single picture shows you poorly. It focuses on your forehead making it look like a drive in movie screen. Try a different angle.
Hi there, thanks for looking at my profile! Well I'm a 23 year old man and I have just moved into my new pad in Redditch, I am looking initially for new freinds and possibly more in the future with the right person.
A complete waste of time. Why you ask? Well we know that you are 23 because you already listed it. We know that you live in Redditch becaus eyou list that as your city. We know that you are looking for new friends and possibly more because that is your tag line. In your very first sentence you repeat yourself three times... with boring information to boot! As the first responder said, if you are looking to date then just say it. I honestly doubt that your secondary priority is to get a few dates here. This is a dating site. We all know what the game is. Guys being coy is a turn off. try and come up with something interesting to say as your opener.Something that will make the reader interested in reading more about you.
I am very keen on Athletics and fitness in general, and have interests in Art, Music and Cars amongst other things.
Keen? Have an interest in? Yawn... What kind of sports do you do? What do you enjoy? Talk about yourself here. You come across as very impersonal. An interest in art? So how many Dalis do you have in your collection? Oh what you don't collect paintings? Then what sort of clay do you prefer when you sculpt? Pardon? You don't sculpt? Well then what kind of interest in art do you have? Do not speak in such massive generalaities. When you do, you essentially say nothing. We have no idea what your interest in art is so tell us. You have an interest in cars? Do you just read about them or do you build kit cars? Do you race? Have you been to a track day? Are you into import tuner cars, muscle cars or luxury cars? Do you own a car that you are really into? Tell us something.
I enjoy spending time with people and think it is important to keep close to those you care about!
?? Enjoy spending time with people doing what? Being in prison? What is it that you enjoy doing? Drop the close care about part.
I am laid back person
Read ten profiles. Laid back and easy going are easily the most over used terms on here. Try and think of something unique about you to say. Speaking of which...
with a cheeky sense of humor
I understand that you are Brittish, but saying that you have a 'cheeky' sense of humour sounds really bad. Sorry. It may impress your grandmother, but it does not make women your age think 'Wow! That's hot!'
so please drop me a message if you'd like to chat!
I personally like to refer to this as the final reminder of how truly desperate that I am!! Look, no one needs instructions on what to do if they are interested. Never beg anyone to contact you! It's just bad.
I know that I come across as slamming you here. I liked none of your profile. I think that it works against you not for you.
Erase the entire thing and start again. This time try to remember that you want to come across as fun. You want to come across as interesting. You want to come across as confident. Talk about what you are into and how you like to spend your free time. Use actual solid terms. Then spend a paragraph talking about what you are hoping to find in a woman. You do not have to paint a picture but talk about traits and qualities that you think that you would be a match with. Do not waste your time trying to convince anyone that you are just looking for friends. If you are looking to date then man up and say that you are looking for a romantic tye relationship, not a platonic one. | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:57:38 PM | | Women want MEN, those that LEAD. Even your "first date" section was a yawner. "I am open for ideas?" This REEKS of "what do you want to do?" "I don't know, what do you want to do?" Women HATE this game! Take charge. There is really so much to critique, but it is awesome that you are looking for help. I strongly urge you to take a look at David DeAngelos Double Your Dating course. It will point you in the right direction and something I wish I would have had at your age. | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:35:17 AM | Thanks guys, the "slamming" is actually what I needed here, so many people have looked at my profile but not responded to messages so there was obviously something badly wrong with it and now I know what.
I am an interesting person but your right, now that I read it again it makes me sound dull and boring. I will have a play with it after training this morning and see what I can come up with.
Cheers again guys! | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:37:39 AM | | Get a picture taken by a camera on telephoto lens (a long way away & zoomed in). Wide angle as you have makes all appendages (ears, nose) look big and ugly. | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:24:51 AM | Ok guys, I have taken a load of new pics and re-wrote the profile from scratch. I can appreciate there is probably still work to do on it but hopefully some of you who have seen it before can have another look and tell me if it is starting to look better?
Thanks again to all of you for your help, really opened my eyes.
P.S. I was originally looking for freinds and no more, but was worried that it was putting people off by making me not look serious so I've took your advice too and changed it to no-nonsese dating! | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:19:42 AM | I've been on here around for 3 days, i've messaged some girls who i've been interested in but all i see when i check back is "read" or "read deleted" I followed the advice given and added my things like what music i listen to and my goals for the future. Its been re-written several times.
Maybe i'm not the right person for them? I don't think i take good pictures even though i added a few. Maybe i need some good new pictures? | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:42:46 AM | wow Richardo! What a difference! I can't believe that you thought that it would not be interesting to talk about how you are a member of a paranormal investigation team or that you are part of the pit crew for a racing team!! What were you thinking??
You went from a dull dork to a very interesting guy that stands out from the pack and sounds like he would be fun to spend some time around. Also good job on the pictures. You don't look like such a fairy now (except in your main profile picture. This is not a romance novel.You making puppy eyes while laying on the bed is just bad. Drop it), You come across as a strong confident man.
Great improvement. | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:11:11 AM | For the most part, the profile is really good! The last paragraph, though, lets you down. This is where you need to be less generic. For example:
Instead of: Someone who also has a good taste in music (anything but RnB, Hip Hop and Rap) And someone who enjoys spending the occasional night in as much as the occasional night out. I get on well with people of all ages so I am not picky about age, nor am I picky about height, hair colour etc as a nice smile is the most attractive physical quality a person can have.
Why not something like: Someone who can introduce me to some great tunes I may have not heard before; Someone who appreciates one-on-one time with quiet conversation, or sharing a night out with friends enjoying a bit rowdier conversation!
A nice smile is the most attractive physical quality a girl can have ~ it's what I notice first about her and what will light up the room like there's no one else there.
Don't say "I'm not picky" - that just means you'll settle for anything. Not really inviting, don't you think?
For introductory messages, keep them light and casual, mentioning one specific thing in her profile, an appropriate comment and a question. Don't go on and on or ask a ton of questions. If you're wondering how your messages are being perceived, feel free to use my profile as a test sample and send me a practice message for comment. No charge. | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:13:19 AM | Pitch Blease, thanks for the comments, but it is a slight contradiction to the previous advice I had. You are saying leave a lot of things out but put it in the list of interests (unless I misunderstand you?) but that is essentially what I was doing before, just writing "I'm interested in music, art and cars". Probably just me confusing myself lol
Yeah I'll admit the pics are a bit crap, but I am seriously un-photogenic, I took around 50 pics today and I am not even all that happy with the ones I have but they were the best of a bad bunch. Having a huge forehead and big nose make photography difficult! lol
Oh and I doubt I'd turn the girl down if it was only our music tastes that didn't match but I can see what you mean about it sounding like I would so I will have a think about how I could re-word that sentance too. | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:17:57 AM | | Thanks "You go first" I really like the way you re-worded bits of my text rather then just tell me they are wrong, they are great suggestions which I'll incorporate into my profile. | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:25:51 AM | | Thanks for the help Canam, couldn't do it without you! I have changed the pic (especially as I've just been mistaken for been a lesbian lol) I guess the thing with the paranormal is that it tends to be a subject where people are either incredibly interested or just think your nuts, a bit of a love it or hate it situation lol | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 12:25:29 PM | I would say if you don't loose the Turtle look you are doomed.
Take out the pic of your forehead.
I saw that and what??
See op, You have to grab them at the pic and honey some of those just stink.
Pic# 2 is worse than no pic. It makes you look like you wear your house.
Until that is fixed or deleted..lonely time.
Leave the paranormal in. That should not be hidden from women/girls who will find it out later and then castrate you. ( If they are not into that of course).
I leave the rest to the above professional profile critiques. | |
|
| |
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 12:56:05 PM | Massive improvement - well done!
I'd ditch all the photos except the one with the guitar, which I think is brilliant.
Unless you are Bi in which case keep the picture of you laying your head seductively on a lacey pillow in bed.
Do you have any of you in athletic strip? - that might say a lot of positive things about you.
And one wearing a tin foil hat. | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 1:24:47 PM | lol flybynight thanks for the comments, I'll loose the pic of me on the bed as I seem to be the only person who likes it lol
I don't have one of me in the athletics strip but will try and get some taken during a training session (in comps there is always a cage or net in the way) | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 1:30:54 PM |
will try and get some taken during a training session
Oh GAWD... keep your shirt on.
Just get one of your face at a good angle.No training crap...
Put the guitar pic as main.
Now don't expect miracles..takes time.
 | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:32:36 PM | Massive improvement man!
Just a couple of pointers:
1).
'My main hobbies include Athletics, where I throw Javelin and Discus with my local athletics club'
You only state one hobby (athletics) but say your main hobbies include...
2). 'as my own personal development is also very improtant to me'
You've already used the 'very important' to me line with regard to health and fitness so use another phrase.
3). 'Previously at college I have done another 2 year long business course and a 2 year long A level in art, the highlight of that being a visit to the Tate Modern in London.'
I don't get this part. At 23 your A-level was ages ago plus you're doing a business management course which kind of makes this sentence redundant.
Also is the 'highlight being the Tate Modern' bit a joke? Either people will think you're trying to be funny (its not) or worse they'll think you're serious and believe you really do admire unmade beds..
I like your last section on your ideal partner.. I may have to nick bits of that for myself! | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:36:39 PM | Message tips for Dummies:
First, get your pics (primary especially), profile, and headline in order. Then...
A) Be picky about who you message. Take the time to look beyond the pictures and see if there's anything in the profile that catches your eye. I once found a profile that read as if it had been sent as an email to me and replied to it as if it had been (yes, I got my replies) ;)
B) When you message, reference her profile, interests, common ground - volunteer something not in your profile
C) Ask her a question or two related to commonalities or her profile.
D) Use humor (clean, as DMR would say) and be personable!
DO NOT:
A) Don't say WOW U R SO PRETTY ;) I'm pretty sure that while women enjoy compliments, only the vapid ones will yell at you for not including one in your email. Obviously you find them attractive or you wouldn't write, right?
(although if she has an exceptional smile? It doesn't hurt to say that you found her profile because her smile jumped out, but the content is what drew you to write (of course, if she has a sparse profile that might not be the best of ideas))
B) Do not give your messenger/AOL/gmail/whatever-client-you-use information
C) Do not give her your phone number
D) Do not ask her immediately out to coffee (though this is less evil depending on circumstances - breaking the relative safety of the internet will scare off women unless they feel comfortable)
E) If she has piercings, don't imply you're interested in knowing how they'd feel on various body parts
F) For the love of god and all that is holy, do not attempt to include any sort of pickup line, invitation for sex, suggestion that this email is some life-changing event for the person you're messaging
(these items have been complied from stories I've heard from the women I've spoken with, you yourself are not likely guilty of any of them, of course) | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/26/2009 2:31:45 PM | Made a couple more changes, got a new main pic and now mailing people like there's no tomorrow.
Cheers for the help guys and gals, wish me luck! | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/26/2009 2:44:46 PM | I'm sorry I didn't see the pics you had before. I like your main pic but I can't see anything but shadow in the second one.
I am highly aspirational and focused on "doing well" in life and making the most of any opportunity I'm presented with.
^^^ I would take the above out. It's a dating site profile, not a resume' or employee evaluation. And don't end your sentences with prepositions!
AARRGGHH! I thought it was in that sentence (but I was too quick and now I'm not going back and starting over). Somewhere you use "also" and "too" in the same sentence. That is soooo aggravatingly redundant! Don't do that!  
Anyway, it looks like you've received excellent feedback and done well with it. Good luck. | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/26/2009 2:51:05 PM | My advice: lose or replace the second pic, we can't see you in it anyway. Fix the remaining mispelled words and don't listen to flybynight - he has the worst profile on POF.
Good luck! | |
|
| Why don't I get responses?
Posted: 10/27/2009 2:39:13 PM | Cheers again guys!
Yeah the second pic kinda sucks doesn't it? lol
I have been getting a lot more profile hit and one or two responses! Although they are leading to nothing and a lot of people still aren't replying but hey we're getting somewhere now!  | |
|
Home
login 
