Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Have any other women experienced this?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Fascino Italiano
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 1
Have any other women experienced this?Page 1 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Well... I've been on this site for about 2 months and have had a handful of dates. I'm already frustrated to say the least. Each guy I have been out with has talked at nauseam about himself and absolutely nothing else. From birth on up; I've gotten every story under the sun, and then some. I mean, no exaggeration, I have spent 2-3 hours out with each, and at the end of the date I bet they couldn't tell me 2 things about myself. Why? Because they never asked!!! What is it? Is it nerves? I'm not asking for much.... it would just be nice for somebody to say "How was your day". What do you do for a living? Any brothers or sisters? I don't get it... I don't want to throw in the towel just yet, but I'm at a lose.
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 2
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 3:57:05 PM
I went on one date recently where he wouldn't shut the hell up, talking about himself on and on and on and.... you get the picture.

I didn't go on a 2nd date with him.
 forumfishie
Joined: 9/17/2009
Msg: 3
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:07:00 PM
Look at the bright side it could be worse!
Yes! You also get the ones that talk about their ex-wives, ex-girlfriends,kids etc, non stop.
Limit your first time meeting at 1hr, coffe dates. If they bore you ten minutes into it, they will be boring for three hours too. Why waste your time?
 hkroxorz3
Joined: 10/19/2009
Msg: 4
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:14:19 PM
its something to be expected.

MOST (not all) the guys on here are here because the typical means of meeting people didn't work.


just learn that guys that talk about themselves in the messages are gonna talk about themselves in real life.
 Emanuel123
Joined: 6/14/2009
Msg: 5
view profile
History
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:30:50 PM
How was your day.

Tell me what makes you smile
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 6
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:32:34 PM

I've been on this site for about 2 months and have had a handful of dates


It could be worse, you could have had no average or above average guys giving you the time of day to begin with and not even wanting to chat through email.

The average man would be considered lucky to get a handful of dates of average women (not some one with off putting weight problems) within 2 months from being on this site.

The reality, most men have it worse.
 Innit Though
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:34:39 PM
Well on the first date you can attribute this behavior to nervousness or as an effort to sell themselves. If it continues after the first date, I've found that these types are primarily looking for a therapist, sounding board, or someone to validate themselves and their beliefs and really don't care about you as a person, only how you can stroke their egos in some way.
 Fascino Italiano
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 8
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:36:16 PM
Emanuel123 - YES, I smiled! You get it.... Yhippee!!!! If you were here I would hug you!
 Revilors
Joined: 10/9/2008
Msg: 9
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:38:07 PM

I didn't go on a 2nd date with him.


There's your problem. Surely he'd have run out of "I" stories by the end of say....month five.

Then you just have the re-runs to suffer through.
 keeper515
Joined: 11/26/2006
Msg: 10
view profile
History
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:13:44 PM
Here's a thought:
1 . Exchange a couple e-mails. If he doesn't show any interest by asking questions, don't bother wasting yout time on a date.
2. On a date, first call him on his behaviour. ' Hey! You seem to be talking about yourself. I'm here.' If he continues, pull the plug. Go home.
True, he might not notice, but that's not your problem.
I once went on a 15 minute date. It went south. I bailed.
 Jewlsey*
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 11
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:15:54 PM
I so hear you OP.

I've been on a couple of dates like that and they were horrible. These men actually wanted second dates...WTF. Now when I come across men like that even during the e-mailing phase, I pass.
 Fascino Italiano
Joined: 8/22/2009
Msg: 12
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:18:32 PM
Geez Keeper.... I give you credit... I guess I'm too nice; I'll sit there and listen to it for 2-3 hours! I guess I feel like I need to try to be open and give it a chance, but man, it's been quite interesting to say the least. And men say women talk alot! Unreal...
 Ruby Darling
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 13
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:23:36 PM
I've me one guy who was like this. I put it down to nerves and went out on a second date with him for which he presumed I was in love with him already and made "demands" LOL
Mostly, I've gone out on dates with men who say absolutely, completely, entirely, nothing at all after I make the declaration that I am not into TV, gossiping and making bad comments about people. That shut them the hell up LOL
 Practically Housebroken
Joined: 6/5/2007
Msg: 14
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:39:49 PM
Apparently, you have a knack for selecting guys in need of therapy.

What’s up with that?
 julie1558
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 15
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:59:58 PM
No it is not nerves or attempts to keep the conversation going. It is pure egoism....me me me me ..blah blah blah....because they think that no one else in the world matters.. These people just want an audience ...and if you are polite they misinterpret it as being interested...

To avoid these type of people....really weed out all those long profiles with endless detailed descriptions of their biography, of what a great person they are, and what they want, expect are looking for....
After a few e-mails...if they never ask a thing about you...they never will. Don't waste your time going on a date. Also, those people that say "no drama please"...whatever that means ...what it means to me is that they don't want you to interject anything that isn't about or related to them and their life.
 Helen0426
Joined: 6/2/2009
Msg: 16
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:19:35 PM
You must be an excellent listener, considerate and gifted at appearing to be genuinely fascinated with the other party.

This is a wonderful thing, but it's okay to temper it from time to time by interjecting things about yourself that relate in some way, however tangentially, to whatever your date is currently discussing. If it's interesting, or funny, or both, that might spark some questions. And it's perfectly polite; there is nothing unduly self-promoting about expecting that your life and interests are inherently part of an interpersonal exchange.

I suggest this because you are, after all, the common denominator here, and because your profile suggests you may be more of a "woman's woman," which is also a lovely quality, but can be a bit of a liability in conversing with many men. The codes and cues are different. It's entirely possible that at least some of your dates wondered later why you didn't seem to have much to say about yourself.

Aside, I'm fond of critters, too, and that's a gorgeous kitty you've got!
 LBA26
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 17
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 10:26:16 PM

Yes! You also get the ones that talk about their ex-wives, ex-girlfriends,kids etc, non stop.


u forgot their mothers
 giantrabbit
Joined: 9/23/2008
Msg: 18
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:32:13 PM
fascino italiano , you must have got a lot of patience. Next time you meet someone like this smack him on the face :)
 deltadallas
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 19
view profile
History
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:10:10 AM
you must be the only person who has been on more than 2 dates. i have not been on any dates much less received but 3 emails. you are still way a head of the game. you should cut the dates to coffee and donuts or a short walk in the park for 15 to 20 minutes. since i'm a talkative person, men who talk too much and is sarcastic is a big turnoff.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 20
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:23:22 AM
And guys ask if there's a magic formula, the perfect pick up line that will seduce women. And they go blah, blah, about their sexual exploits, their toys, their great deeds and yet fail to understand that the ultimate aphrodisiac, is a question mark. Ask her about her life. Ask her about the significance of something she is wearing. Even for the guys that like to use the C ocky, funny stuff, and completely screw up, if only they said "Really?" and smiled, so the lady, takes it like a challenge, but fun and explains something. The guys achieves much more than going, I am so great because of blah, blah, blah.
 strollinbella
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 21
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:29:57 AM
I have been on dates where the man "regales" me with long-winded tales about his work, his children, his sexual prowess (lol), his exwife....on and on and on. Then, when he stops for a breath I try to tell him a bit about myself...and my interests. Usually the guy will show little if any interest in what I have to say then continue with his soapbox-style speech.

Once I actually got up and left; another time I started chatting with an acquaintance at the next table and the guy acted all huffy because he was no longer my focus. No second dates for either of these guys.

Don't get me started on the guys who treat the first meet like an interview, lol!

Thankfully there are a few good men out there.
 jgaskns
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 22
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:30:28 AM
Not sure what to tell you... I always like knowing what makes a girl tick. Maybe they are just nervous and resort to the subject they now best: themselves.
 jgaskns
Joined: 10/13/2009
Msg: 23
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:31:32 AM
know best... sorry for the typo
 eyesoforever
Joined: 1/5/2008
Msg: 24
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:51:12 AM
Did he at least look like his picture? Yes, any guys reading this, you guys as well as women, post pictures of yourselves 10 years younger and about 30-50 pounds lighter.

But anyway, fascino, I am like you , I will sit there for the 2-3 hours and listen and then just not go on another date. That's the first signs of a selfish bragger. Men with nerves usually find it hard to find conversation and are the quiet ones on the date.
 HappyHeart777
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 25
Have any other women experienced this?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:14:07 AM
msg #8

Some of it could be nervousness. I was lucky though. I had a guy recently tell me I talk about my past so much that it appeared I lived in my past. Wow what an eye opener. Do you tell these guys this is why there is no 2nd date? Maybe someone needs to gently and kindly make them aware of their actions? Like I said I was blessed to have someone point this fixable flaw out to me. I since have reflected and learned there is soooooo much more to talk about. It makes for more interesting converstion to say the least. I was extermely nervous though and needed to learn to breath.


Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Have any other women experienced this?