| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:01:41 PM | This is not a rant. This is not to complain about the male species as a whole. This is just an example of something that has recently happened to me to hopefully help other women "GET OVER IT"
Week ago I engage in a conversation with a guy who contacted me via POF. After a couple hours, he agree that he would come over and we would watch a movie. ALl goes well, he ends up staying the night, and leaves in the morning. No big deal. I like him, he likes me, asks me to call. I call him later in the day, we speak for a awhile. He calls back twice later than day. Conversation flow is great, both opening up to each other, talk about family, friends and continue with general banter. Following day. Guy calls again 4 times. Conversation runs very well. I am digging this guy and he is (in my head) digging me.
Monday rolls around. I call him at lunch as I told him I would. Work is done, I go home, he calls me on his way home. HE then calls me again once he is done eating etc. and says he will call when he gets back from the gym. Does not call me back. Okay. He's tired went to bed.
Tuesday, no call. Leave him a message on Tuesday night. No call Wednesday. My final attempt to reach him Wednesday afternoon. Simple message. Wanted to say hi, if you don't get back to me, i'll take the hint. Have a good one. No answer.
Ladies, I know this has probably happened countless times, and you sit there wondering what the hell went wrong, what the hell it is that you could have possibly done to have turned him off so fast. Here's the thing. 99% of the time you did nothing. As women, we always expect some kind of "closure" in instances like this. Number one rule about men. They DO NOT need closure. This is a female thing only. So don't go blaming yourself because he has decided that perhaps you are NOT what it was that he is looking for afterall. These things happen, and as much as you may hate not knowing WHY, deal with it. I know it seems like common courtesty to tell someone why or how you lost interest, but for men, it is easier just to close that door, than to have to deal with all the questions from a woman.. "what did I do?", " is there someone else". Sometimes there is someone else, but most times honey, that's not the reason. My best advise to you, is just to forget about him, and move on to number next! | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:26:35 PM | Your first conversation and you agreed to meet. Ok. Some folks work faster than others. You then invited him over to your place and *watch a movie* (not something typically done early on when trying to get to know someone). I've heard that *watching a movie* really means an invite for sex, but I'm old and could have understood the 20 something slang all wrong.
*All goes well, he ends up staying the night and leaves in the morning* --- Did you have sex with him? Call me naive, but I had to ask. I won't assume.
I usually try to keep my first meetings at an hour (or two if it's going well). That way, there's something to work toward. You sound as though you had a mini-relationship in less than a week and he decided you weren't someone he could be with. Closure from what? You didn't have anything to close.
But, if you had sex with him, then you were just too easy. The next one might like that, though. Your advice is the best - NEXT. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:27:43 PM | | maybe he just prob changed his mind about wanting to see you (read sleep) with you again. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:28:17 PM | | ^^^ My thoughts exactly, Enchanted. Unless you plan on having the life span of a fruit fly, STOP THAT CHYT!!! | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:29:36 PM | Tee hee - I just read your profile. Maybe you should re-work it for credibility's sake, as the story you wrote above contradicts half of what's in your profile.  | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:32:03 PM | I am completely clueless about the whole 'code' thing ...
I NEED A DATING COACH! if someone invites me to watch a movie - I EXPECT TO WATCH A MOVIE | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:35:59 PM | | WHOA WHOA WHOA! I am NOT saying I slept with him, nor am I even saying i was expecting a relationship.. I am competely unbothered by the fact that he dropped me. This post was PURELY to be taken as something to help those girls who are DEVESTATED because a guy stops calling them. You all have me completely wrong!! | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:36:24 PM | Well, what do they say about easy come, easy go?
What closure for the chicken's sake?
Your communication after the jiggy jiggy outlasted your communication before it jggy included.
I.e. it ran its course.
If you wanted something more long lasting, communicate with him longer... and by longer I don't mean two days LOL | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:38:04 PM | | again, never said I wanted a relationship, and never said we slept together.. I would have said it if i had! | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:38:34 PM | What you didnt have sex with him! However, you are worried after 1 day of knowing him enough to post a thread about it. ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, boyyyy! You wonder why he left!
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:42:01 PM | I would be taking your own advice. You named this thread "He's just not that interested" and that's exactly right.
I understand your frustration. There was someone I'd been chatting to on a site and we didn't live far from each other and everything seemed to be going along nicely so I suggested meeting up. He was happy to do that until the day before when I received an email saying he'd been contacted by his ex and he was going to give her another chance...................hmmm just so happened the day before..................LOL.
The point is I believe the guy chickened out at the last minute (why I'll never know) but I'm not going to spend a lifetime worrying about it. His loss. I just thought it was amusing. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:45:00 PM | Keh, keh, keh (that is Maltese for LOL LOL LOL)
Well, now that changes everything if you didn't sleep with him.
In this case, perhaps he think he has no seductive powers over you after he slept in your house, strutted all his stuff, wielded all his magic sticks (pun intended) no no avail.
Or maybe he is consulting the oracle for new tricks before he contacts you again. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:49:15 PM | It really doesn't matter if you did or didn't have sex with this guy....
You allowed a complete stranger to enter your home and then let him sleep there???
Missy....you need to re-evaluate your good sense. Personally I think you DID have sex with him. You are in for a rude awakening if you keep up with this type of life-style. Believe me, I am not judging you... I just think you are losing it by what you did. Wise up! | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 6:51:43 PM | Oh God! You need "closure" after one date? That's not female; that's weird.
What did you do? From your story, I assume that he didn't like you after a few conversations. As you conclude, move on. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:18:07 PM | | What's even worse is that the guy in question is most likely someone NO ONE desires... a total dweeb, a loser... a major wuss bag... so why are you getting wound up over it? let it go... stop chasing a guy who in no way shape or form would ever be chased... by ANYONE... you have too much going on for you to worry about some t-total undesirable loser. come on, you are cute, attractive, interesting, intelligent and could get anyone you want... why do you care about someone no one wants? | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:36:01 PM | Yea ummm I think you should re-evaluate your lectured mirrror of self help honey because your perception on the after math is all wrong.
And a piece of advice on helping others in hopes that people will equate to your reference is that you need to show yourself through your experience as being a mentor in order for the help aide to be effective and I don't see that happening here......
You should be asking yourself what the hell you did wrong because my friend you did a lot of wrongs!!!
Believe it or not but being too easy is a turn off for men. Not on a sexual level but on an emotional one it is.
You seriously need to get your head to deflate a bit so that you can sink some common sense into it.....because the #1 rule of meeting someone for the first time is 'meet in a PUBLIC place' not on your couch in a dark room with only the light of the TV illuminating the area....
What is the opposite of a smart thing to do......stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:40:34 PM | HEY THERE FIRE FLY!! YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!!! THE WAY I LOOK AT IS, THERE IS PLENTY OF FISH IN THE GOOD OLD OCEAN. THATS WHY I TIP MY HAT TO THE THE CREATOR OF THIS SITE. DONT YOU AGREE? IM NEW TO THE WHOLE ONLINE DATING THING. I WORK AS A DISPATCHER AT NIGHT AND SO ONE OF MY CO WORKERS GOT ME HOOKED UP WITH IT. IT IS TRUE FIRE FLY, THERE ARE PLENTY OF FISH. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!! MESSEGE ME IF YOU WANT.  FOR NOW. IM SURE WE SHARE SOME STORIES. | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:58:27 PM | | My guess is there was too much talk time taken up, many men become bored with constant daily jabbering. I myself would probably seem dull and boring to a women cause I am the strong silent type. I dont like listening endlessly to constant jibberish. Somene who was set up with me, visited and her constant endless chattering drove me batty. I prefer a more even toned, to quiet type, that can say what she means in fewer words. Its possible the constant calls numbersous , daily had its toll. I would suggest limiting the number of calls to one every other day, max. My guess is he found out as much as he needed. He just wasent that into you, dont take it personally, there is someone out there for each of us, just have to find the right guy | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:13:10 PM | | I'm with Eternity on this one. ASTOUNDED that someone would chat with someone online and HAND OUT their home address to a COMPLETE STRANGER!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:14:45 PM | Op,
I really can understand being mystified why he just dropped out of sight. Probably has a low attention span.
As far as sex when you first meet someone, not a good idea. But it has happened to more people then tend to admit to it. It's just a human need. But, if you really want a man, then it's best to wait.
But, I remember the 60's. Everyone was sleeping with everyone else, so don't let some of these opinions fool ya! It all depends on the generation that you grow up in. "Free love" and all that!?! | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:21:52 PM | Good God..........you talk to a guy for TWO HOURS and he comes over to your home to stay the night........?????
WTF ??????
Sorry,but are you freakin' nuts?
He's lost interest in you coz you provide no "challenge" whatsoever.
Either that,or you suck in bed......pun intended  | |
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| He's just not that interested
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:44:29 PM | | The whole scene is a bit strange. Who would come to your house to watch a movie before ever meeting you ???? And then sleep there.?? Having sex and leaving is more normal than not having sex and sleeping there!!!!! Why would two people that just met be calling each other 2 - 4 times a day??? I'd be running for the hills if some guy I just met me that much!!!! scarey!!! Why are you giving advice and comforting women in this same situation???? I'd be surprised if there is anyone in this situation.....never mind being upset that the guy stopped calling. I'm so confused!!! | |
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