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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:52:04 PM | I get a lot of mail, but very few that I am interested in. Most have lied about their age, pic more than 5 years old etc. etc. Have had much better luck in person at conventions etc. but they are not local to where I live, so they are not dating material. I have helped out a lot of my friends, and a lot of the lady fish, with some of the women that I was not interested in from this site. Anyway is it possible that this is the wrong type of site for me? I have been looking for a long term relationship with an upscale, educated, smart, very nice looking women. Suggestions please??? Are any of them available in my location on this site?? Thanks. | |
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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:36:10 PM | No way to know if they're available on the site in your location.
I can, however, tell you that your profile reads far too much like an accusatory finger. The negativity in there is highly passive-aggressive, of course. You violate the site ToS by having your email in your profile as well.
I'd recommend reading the profile writing tips from top to bottom if you want to try and make this site work for you (your profile reads very much like almost everyone's does when they first create them). Right now, it's written in a manner that means you're swimming upstream when you should be far more successful.
Otherwise, I'd recommend trying one of the paid sites as their serious member base invest money commensurate with their desire to find a successful match.
YMMV SPSFD.
Profile Writing Tips:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts1262627.aspx | |
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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 10/26/2009 8:58:28 PM | | Is that your car? What kind is it? Why aren't you smiling? Is it absolutely required that your match be "very attractive"? What do you do for fun? You reduced your speaking schedule specifically for the purpose of being home more often? | |
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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:00:35 PM | I have to agree with Tommy... you do seem rather negative, and there's the not so subtle condescension toward anyone you feel is inferior to you. Not that they are, but you seem to think so....
Anyway, I haven't a clue how one would go about improving your profile... as it seems to be exactly the vibe you want to give out.
Good luck to you though
Bluez | |
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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:16:45 PM |
Are any of them available in my location on this site??
Are you actually searching for these ladies on this site? Use the Advance Search program and use specific interests that you may have in common, or wish to have in common. Is your faith a dealbreaker?
By your limited criteria, I qualify, but I won't commute...
From your profile, I gather you are self-employed, comfortably well off and you play football and baseball on the weekends. That's about it. There's no hint of humour. Even the gold-diggers want a laugh once in a while. It's really hard to get a read on what type of person you're looking for based on what you're presenting. It just feels so defensive.
If you are getting initial contacts, you're ahead of a lot of the guys here. Are you dismissing these women before even meeting them? I don't expect I've been much help but my perception of the profile may be typical of the mature, confident, fatally stunning, smart, upscale, selective woman you are trying to attract. | |
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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:29:16 PM | @well said YGF!
Hi Best…when a man starts out his profile and the 1st description for the woman is “very attractive”…it’s a turn-off. Even if she is attractive, she’s turned off. She thinks “this is a superficial man” who cares more about looks than anything else. Also, everyone wants “attractive”…and “attractive” means different things to different people.
A few more suggestions…
1) Most of your sentences are “I” and “I” and “I” sentences.
2) You may not mean to come across as me-centric, but the phrasing makes it seem that way.
3) Your ‘bestfish’ headline is confident, but many ladies will see it as “arrogant”. Maybe rethink it.
4) Nix the “apple story” at the end. GREAT men do not have to tell you they are great.
5) Also, you demean the ladies (even the smart ones) when you say they are afraid of climbing the apple tree and falling and getting hurt.
6) When you issue the challenge/question….“HOW SMART ARE YOU”, it’s a turn-off not a turn-on.
7) Nix what went wrong in past relationships…i.e. that you’re now more loving and not absent so often…..she knows history has a way of repeating itself, and already you’ve alerted her.
8) So…what should you add? Add things like: ….Why she should date you? What do you lecture about? Do you like your job? What do you have to offer her (good financial advice, good conversation, caring, romantic, what)?
9) As to other dating sites….they all have their pluses and minuses. It’s a trial and error thing. POF has a large user base, but do they have ladies who meet your criteria? Search and find out. Do the same thing on other sites. Many offer trial subscriptions. Caveat….lots of prevaricators/liars/fudgers exist on all sites from comments I’ve heard from friends and read. One male friend on Match told me "I just dated my mother"!...she was 20 years older than she said she was. Several others gave a thumbs down to Eharmony (they do the choosing for you…you can’t pick and choose who to email).
10) DTom’s post makes sense…people who pay a monthly fee are often more serious about finding a good match.
Hope that helps. Best to you. DenverSky5280  | |
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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:44:41 PM |
4) Nix the “apple story” at the end. GREAT men do not have to tell you they are great.
I would go a step further and suggest this: GREAT men do not tell you they are great. | |
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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:58:38 PM | | Wow, I read the stuff you very nice people posted and thanks again. I am geting a lot of mail, that is not the problem. The mail is from, how should I say this, losers??Well I think that they are losers. I do not have time to reach out, but I answer everyone that writes to me, even the losers. I have gone on dates, and almost every one is older, or in some other way has not told the truth. That is the problem. I do not have a problem meeting women. I have a problem meeting someone that is very nice looking and smart. Is that too much to ask for someone like me? I dont care what they do for a living, if they have children, etc. I do not care if they are rude. Thanks again for taking the time. | |
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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:27:01 PM | It looks like you're going to have to make the time. I did a search for women within 35 miles of your city, age between 45 and 52, and it came up over 600 matches. That's a lot of choices.
Just as the women here know that men who list themselves at 5'7" are really 5'5 and 3/4's, some women lie about their ages. They would do this in real life, too, but it it's only hurting them.
You open your profile saying you're looking for 'very attractive' women. We all are, to someone. What does this mean to you? Classic beauty like Rita Hayworth? or Grace Kelly? or someone with strong ethnic characteristics? What makes you snap your head around when an 'attractive' woman walks into the room? What makes you forget your name when she's talking to you? If you don't tell them, they won't know.
You can also use the 'Interests' field to search like interests, or use the 'interest' feature in an advanced search. But it looks like you're going to have to do the work if you want the quality babe you desire. | |
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| Welcome suggestions, thanks
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:41:40 PM | Thanks again to all of you so very much. Never thought of most of the great ideas. What I have done these past few weeks is put together get togethers with many of my male friends, I have a lot of them, and some of the lady fish that have contacted me. This has worked out well for all except me. A lot of the people that came are now dating each other. Most of my friends will take less in a girlfriend, even though they are mostly upscale and nice looking. Lots of Doctors and other professionals. Anyway I will do a few more of these get togethers. I did date a few of the fish that contacted me, but all had lied about something, age, looks, profession etc. That is hard for me because I try to tell the truth. Not smart enough to remember my lies. I will date a few more of the fish and do some more partys, make a lot of other fish happy. Please keep the ideas coming. Anyone interested in going to one please contact me. Again, thanks a lot for helping someone that you do not know. P.S. The one fish that I really liked did not like me. But not all so bad because she has been dating my good friend for 4 weeks now. | |
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