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Posted: 10/27/2009 11:07:36 AM | Hi everyone. My name is Larry. I have had a profile on POF for awhile now. I have also sent out a few messages ( ok alot). My problem is no one seems to comment back. So to stop beating around the bush. Can anyone who views this give me some advice. Is there something wrong with my profile, wording,picture. I am open to any help, Since what i am doing is not working.
When i send my messages. I am polite. Give my name.Tell what i enjoy( outdoors,camping,fishing,golf). I ask them questions, like ( What are you looking for in a guy, What interests do they have or What likes/dislikes.
All adviced would be great. Thank you in advance. | |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 2:30:12 AM | hello larry ... in my opinion your profile looks fine .. you might want to get a few more pics of you .. maybe one a bit closer .. kinda like a head shot or one from the chest up ... or you doing something that you like to show more of your personality ...
I have been on this site for quite awhile and it seems to be normal for people NOT to respond when you write to them. I find it to be rude and inconsiderate .. it only takes one minute to type a simple .. thank you for your interest in me but I dont think we area match kinda response ... yes it hurts for a moment but then you quickly get over it vs. not hearing anything at all and wondering whats the matter. I blame our society of people putting themselves into classes where they think they are better or above having to have manners.
hang in there larry .... if they dont respond they arent really all that you thought they were to begin with!!  | |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 4:49:29 AM | Hello Larry. I read your profile and it looks ok to me. I would suggest maybe changing it from friends to dating. Maybe try going to some of the POF parties. I noticed that your from Lowell. We have alot of parties here in Grand Rapids. I just hosted a hayride and bonfire party back on the 17th which would have been a good change for you to meet new people and not be in the bar scene. But there is a party at Magoo's on the 13th of Nov. and that would be a nice party for you to attend. Gene and Julia who are the host give good parties. They even play games if you come early. I have to been to a few of them and plan on going to this one. The GR people are friendly people and it is easy to walk in by yourself. Alot of us have meet new friends to hang out with at these parties. Well have a good day!!!! | |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 8:39:21 AM | | from a guys point of view, it looks good. add more pics to get the babes, lol | |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 9:41:21 AM | Hi Larry,,,i too read your profile and i think it sounds pretty good. This is by no means an excuse to not respond to someones email, but its possible the women you email may think you are too far out of their distance range. Maybe some are smokers and they prefer the same (you are a non-smoker i think yours said?). There are a slew of possibilities out there but none are valid reasons for not at least responding back with a 2 second 'No thank you'.
You said you ask them questions like what they are looking for in a guy, what are their interests, etc... That info may very well already be on there and they may not want to repeat it all! lol Instead i would suggest maybe taking for example, one of their interests and asking her about it. Ex: Oh you like softball? So do i! What position do you play? What league are you in? You like movies i see. What type do you really like? I really like...yada yada yada. lol You get the point. lol
Hope this helps at least a lil bit! | |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 10:33:04 AM | | geez, larry you look pretty darn good!! don't worry. you'll meet someone. just be patient! | |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 8:06:17 PM | Thank you for all your responses. I will have to get some pictures taken,Ill get on it right away. I will have have to show up to one of the parties ( sounds like it would be fun). Well i hope you are all having a great day.
Larry | |
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Posted: 10/28/2009 10:59:47 PM | Larry, I have seen guys on here who look like Brad Pitt saying they do not get any responses, so don't take the lack of responses personal. Most guys on here do not get many responses and there's probably a variety of reasons.
I do see a couple of things in your profile that you might want to change. I'm not trying to be rude, but you did ask for feedback. One you say you have never been on a real date. As you are in your 30s some women might be scared off by this. They might wonder why you would say that. The other thing you might want to drop is saying you like the smell of lavendar fabric softener. I have found that listing the off-beat things about oneself dosen't work very well on here, but as several women gave your profile the thumbs up and didn't notice what I did, I could be way off base. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 7:48:42 AM | | yeah, sometimes we don't know what makes the females tick. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 4:28:20 PM | yeah, sometimes we don't know what makes the females tick.
Lol maybe you dont but I have a few ideas:
1 No money lol (see other post)
2 no manners
3 being late
I could go on for days but.......
oh wait..thats not what makes them tick..just ticked off..lol oh well
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Posted: 10/29/2009 10:01:25 PM | Well if it makes you feel any better I get very few responses back either but I get contacted by women I would never date and if they read ANY of my profile they would know I would not be interested. I will likely rewrite my profile yet again this weekend. I am sure someone wants to date the women that are 300 lbs, 5'tall with no teeth, no job, 4 kids and living in the sticks 60 miles from civilization but not me..
I DO however try to write back to them. Some are more persistent then others too. I just figure when its time someone will come along, either on here, one of the other systems I am on or heck maybe I will bump into my soul mate in the real world.. But I try not to let it bother me and plug away.
Rodney | |
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Posted: 11/1/2009 6:15:10 PM | hi there larry...i just read an article about lavender and its theraputic qualities...relaxation...nothing wrong with liking to sniff lavender, i like sniffing old spice...lol, i'm just playing with ya...you did say you appreciate a good sense of humor right?, lol...most everyone i've ever written to on here has replied one way or another...either hi ya cutie or get lost babe, lol...you must be hitting the ball just right so, the rudies are catching it...don't give up, there are some really fantastic people on this site...virgo eh?...most women love those virgos, passionate, articulate creatures...i agree with the adding a few more photos, and with attending a few events...they are so much fun, and you really do meet soooo many people there...good luck in your search 
hey there ripadoodledo...we gonna get together for at least one party this year girl...lol, jeez pof should pay us for being on here so long...hugs g/f
~kat | |
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Posted: 11/1/2009 9:55:05 PM | | No there is nothing wrong with liking the smell of lavendar. A gay person used to be known as having "a touch of lavendar", but I have no idea if that idea persists. That being said I just thought it sounded odd, and any hint of oddness scares people off on here. Personally I have a smell fetish for Bonnie Bell Skin perfume. Don't know why but that stuff drove me crazy. I hear they still make it, but I haven't smelled any women wearing it in a long time. | |
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Posted: 11/2/2009 2:49:20 AM | | i never heard that one, RD, but you could take any given profile, read it, and find one thing that makes you wince or squirm and blow that person off. it could be as simple as saying, "i love watching the sunset." and i love reading that one, because how many guys do you actually see running to the shore to see a sunset? and how many have actually have seen the sunset? (or sun set). most have probably seen it in a photo or movie. that is not something that bothers me, it just makes me smile because i feel it is an attempt at romance and it is supposed to be romantic to see the sunset. as for me, i know i am not into a guy who smokes a lot, so that person is automatically excluded. i guess it is all about chances. | |
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Posted: 11/2/2009 3:56:15 PM | Hey Larry,
You seem to get allot of advise asking that question. I would like to try the same.
Why no response?
Thanks Larry! | |
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Posted: 11/2/2009 4:00:27 PM | | david you seem very nice. however, i would have a concern about the more than three times a week drinking. i am not saying you have a problem with it, but it does not look appealing maybe to some. but i am glad you are honest! | |
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Posted: 11/2/2009 4:08:15 PM | | Thanks. I thought I would be honest, Just a couple beers after work not even everyday ( I guess thats more than 3 a week ) . | |
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Posted: 11/2/2009 10:52:14 PM | | Terri, even if the idea of lavendar as a gay thing is long defunct, it would not matter. It could have been orange essence fabric softener for that matter. When a woman looks at a profile I am guessing she is looking to see if the guy hunts, fishes, goes boating, or whatever. I doubt that enjoying the scent of fabric softener is at the top of her shopping list. Maybe I am wrong though? | |
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Posted: 11/3/2009 1:38:12 AM | Actually, i think Macs profile is pretty well rounded with both his likes and dislikes. When i read the Lavender Softener part, the thought that ran thru my mind was " Mmmm, i love Lavender!"...and kept right onna reading. I guess its different strokes for different folks regarding what some would raise eyebrows at. Hey, on my profile i have that the only sport i like is Boxing/MMA. If that makes a few men think 'wtf?', then better he knows that now rather than after we waste our times meeting.
off topic:
Katalooloo muh girl......if that were the case (being paid to be here lol), then i could very well retire from my job and live off Fish pay! lol But..most of my online time nowadays is spent at Facebook. Im pretty addicted to the game Happy Aquarium. lol Yup, i seem to be surrounded by fish both here and over there! LOL | |
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Posted: 11/3/2009 4:37:34 PM | lol, fish pay eh...is that done in clams or shells?
david your profile is good, few more pics probably wouldn't hurt anything...forums are a good way to meet contacts, then when you attend a function you feel like you know people already 
i see you're planning on attending your first event terri...whooohoooo, welcome to the real world of pof
i'm being silly aren't i?...best way to get responses?...say what you mean and mean what you say...don't make us use fishie shovels...lol, hard work there  | |
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Posted: 11/5/2009 9:57:47 AM | Thank you for all the comments. Since posting this and receiving GREAT advice. I have received a few messages. Nothing that i am to interested in, But it gives me hope. I put what kind of Fabric Softener I like, Because let say someone uses Snuggle ( Time for me to go).<------ No just joking, I am not that shallow. It is one of my likes. If someone doesnt keep on reading my profile because of that, Then they can keep on Browsing.
I will join one of the get togethers. Work keeps me busy. Well Thank you once again. Have a GREAT day everyone. | |
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Posted: 11/22/2009 6:56:06 AM | | Good luck in your search. I've had the same happen to me as I'm sure we all have at one time or another, don't worry about them because you are a better person. It's is worse when you chat, phone and meet several times and they disappear with out a word. It falls in the same group, they weren't worth it in the first place, just a bit of common courtesy & respect. But, you will never receive that from inconsiderate, immature, selfish people. Just chalk it up to experience and move on to someone who is worth your time. | |
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Posted: 11/24/2009 1:58:54 PM | | I never get replies and hold the record on this site for non-replies, and I am not one of the "weird ones" you read about in other profiles that send sex only messages. Let's just say this, my record is comarable to the Lions record over the years! | |
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Posted: 11/24/2009 2:30:09 PM |
Hi everyone. My name is Larry.
(everyone in unison) "HI LARRY!"
When i send my messages. I am polite. Give my name.Tell what i enjoy( outdoors,camping,fishing,golf)
Okay. That's better than saying "Hey baby, what's up?" but that in no way means you've impressed them...
Okay, first, it's your profile, and that gives me an impression of how you're coming across in what you write, too. And for the record, I am NOT saying that I am some stud with some awesome profile, either!
a) Your picture. One picture, looking "ehhh" and a bit "frumpy"... in what COULD be an old photo. Give yourself 4+ photos, and make them look relatively new. And show some expression/personality in them. You don't want to be BLAND!
b) Your sentence structure & grammar. Your sentences are too tightly wound together. Space it out a bit.
c) You come across as a bit too much like the self-depreciating Mr Nice Guy. You know... a nice guy with a lack of confidence about himself out there in the world.
d) You mentioned some things, and they're generic just like many profiles. Do something different. Advice? Look at other guys' profiles from the Forums and see how they present themselves... get a feel for it all that way.
e) Write a woman with just one real question... and show personality -- not "Beuller... Mr Beuller... Ferris Beuller..." monotone voice-like in how ya write. | |
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