| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:59:36 AM | | Girl meets guy on chat site. Guy is shy, quiet type. Hints at being 'friends'. I ask him why and get same vague answers? The main one that sticks is 'you are not the sort of girl I usually fall in love with'. What the hell does that mean. I ask myself why..he is just not into me, he is scared of committment, he is waiting for something better to come along. I kid myself he will fall in love with this enchanting personality. We have a great time together. We laugh and talk and get on well. The sex is excellent. I enjoy it and I think he does. He always has a smile on his face. He is considerate, kind, attentive, affectionate and damned good in bed. We chat online most nights. Sometimes catch up on the phone or text. Catch up once or twice a week. At least once will be on a week end and this will end in sex. Catching up is hard but because he is night shift worker and I work day. So he is usually asleep when I am awake and vice versa. Damn...that would make good husband material wouldn't it girls. But here is the catch. He still keeps his profile up on line as single and looking. Its only been a month. Can anyone tell me where we are headed. Can you see what I can not or what I refuse to see? | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:21:39 AM | You answered your own question straight after you wrote " But here is the catch ". Maybe its as simple as " Walks like a duck ... Quacks like a duck ...."
Mind you, this observation is from a casual observer that is going on only what you have provided and pretty much shooting from the hip ... hope it helps ...  | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:52:22 AM | He hasn’t left his profile up and set to single and looking. He just hasn’t changed it or taken it down because he hasn’t given the issue any particular thought at all. 
Can anyone tell you were you were you two are headed? Well no but there are a few clairvoyants kicking around the forums you could ask. 
Obviously after a whole month, 4 weeks, 30 days of dating a woman would like to know if a relationship has future and if so just what that future is, in detail, right now; that is only reasonable.
You could of course ask him to explain the whole of life plane that he will not doubt have devised in his spare time over the last 4 weeks.
I suspect that he will say “lets just see how it goes we have fun don’t we after all it has only been four weeks”; men they are just so selfish.
The truth of course is he hasn’t given the issue any particular thought at all.
The point is that men and women do not think about these things in the same way and you are searching for a problem when there probable isn’t one.
The thing to do now is to create a problem by turning this into a big thing you could start by insisting on having a serious conversation with him about “the relationship” after all he has had his 30 days of fun and you would like to know “where you stand”.
I have no idea how this gentleman will respond to this but whatever he says you can sure it will be extemporaneous because he hasn’t given the issue any particular thought at all. | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:24:30 PM | My guess is that he is like me & has forgotten about it.
Us bloke don't think about that sort of stuff. (Making sure ALL your needs are met in every way. Most off us aren't that insecure.)
Then again if you're that worried about it you can always head my way. I'll delete & cancel mine right in front of your eyes.   | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:21:58 PM | Thanks for the answers guys. You are are very witty and funny. Good way to be. Ollie38 be careful what you wish for. What an offer. I will be there tomorrow.You have four weeks to announce your intentions and you undying love. LOL. Nah..too cold in Victoria. Even for an offer like that.  | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:25:21 PM | | Scholar59....guess what...'i don't think he has given the issue any particular thought at all.....lol...i get the message. Think about giving up smoking....it will extend your life...lol.... | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:00:33 PM | ^^^^You are welcome it is always a mistake for men and women to just assume that they think about these things in exactly the same way.
I have thought about giving up smoking but I am lead to believe that I would get more dates and well I honestly don’t think that I have “deserved” the ones I get now.
I suspect that it is like marriage, you don’t really live longer; it just seems longer.
Was it Bernard Shaw that said that? | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:06:57 PM | I seem to attract the ones that don't contact you for months at a time and then act like they saw you yesterday, do they really think I am too stupid to see that someone else has not worked out and they've suddenly remembered me I have made some good friends that way though, can never have too many of those  | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:35:59 PM | | What's to figure out? It's a rare man who has that certain hint of being worth getting to know about him . I think this is because he spends so much time with his mates that he is quite uncomplicated , he is 'one of the boys' and that's good enough for him and it bloody well should be good enough for her ! But the clever loners are those rare ones who fit in quite well with other men but watch them when they don't realise it and you find a really interesting life ...... and the boys are not part of it . Often he will have amassed a sizeable legal of money as well . Do you know many clever loners ? They really like women , just for the icing on the cake . | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:55:19 AM | Isn't it enough just to be having a good time? Does there always have to be a future in something to give it value?
As for the subject of the thread...men are quite easily figured out. Ask them. They will either lie or tell the truth. If they lie, you have caught a dud. Go back to square one. | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:12:49 AM | "They will either lie or tell the truth. If they lie, you have caught a dud. Go back to square one."
How do you tell a good lie from a bad truth? 
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:14:36 AM | I'll try to put this gently. According to your profile you're fat middle aged and Christian. I'm going to stop talking now or else I'll get banned again.
Jesus and you think we're the hard ones to figure out. | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:41:22 AM | | No no no, you see you're middle aged mixed and average, which means exotic curry sex with exceptional libido. You're hot dear. Let's do it. | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 4:03:49 AM | Is the guy your having great sex with ( just picking on the bits that grabbed my attention) on this site???? Would asume he knows your on here. If so does he read the forums??? Bit of underhand outing if he does. Spose it would bring any concerns you have out into the open tho.
Do you ever ask yourelf the question "Why am I single"?
Nope as acceptance is the key for that one, soon as you stop thinking about and be happy with it is when someone will come along and fvck it up by wanting to have a relationship with ya | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:03:37 AM |
Do you ever ask yourelf the question "Why am I single"?
Yes, often. But when I get onto the second or third page of the "reasons im single list" it generally dawns on me somewhat.
We honestly are not meant to figure them out. The only advice I can give is that whatever decisions you make for a man......ensure at all costs, that he thinks they are his decisions and he made them. I can't stress the importance of this enough.....men really like to believe they are thinking for themselves.....sad but true! | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:17:57 AM |
men...how do we figure them out.
You just need to tune in to them, be alert and observant, so that you spot the right moment and mood where they might be conducive to some real and open communication. There are a few things you can do to facilitate this with your man...
1. Strap him to a table.
2. Insert bamboo under his finger nails.
3. Drip water on his forehead for several days.
4. Ask him if he'd like to, maybe, talk? | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:43:01 AM | vanaheim...i will chose to ignore your mindless comment. What is really funny though, is that you describe yourself as intelligent, gentlemanly and an academic. OMG. All while having a career as a bartender with a bad attitude. Scary. Really scary. Maybe I should describe myself as a neurosurgeon. Perhaps you should now examine why you are single and whether your profile is an accurate description of yourself. I will ask how much brain power did it take to come up with your comment on here That is something I would expect my 12 year old nephew to say. Not witty, not funny and not insightful. In fact something I would probably expect a patient with a head injury to say. They have a reason...do you?
In response to 'don't have one'....no I met him on another site. He does not use pof. I used to come to this one ages ago. I still like to read the forums. Most people are honest, funny or witty. The exception to that being the intellectually challenged vanaheim. | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:29:52 PM | ^^^ Don't worry about Vanaheim, he goes a little 'off' when he's not been laid for a while.
We all do our best to ignore him when he starts humping every thread.
he hasn’t given the issue any particular thought at all.
That's probably true, OP. Naamah's approach is the only way to deal with such wishy-washy types of men. Good luck! | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:51:03 PM | is the wedding dress on layby yet??
I always wear my wedding dress to first face to face meetings with anyone I date from the internet.
It ensures that they sense my commitment to our relationship from the outset. | |
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| men...how do we figure them out.
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:02:41 AM | I just wing it, usually... make it up as I go according to the prevailing circumstances and enviornmental factors, past misjudgements, etc...
I didn't come with a manual so I'm still figuring out how this unit works....
the manufacturers web sites didn't even have downloadable versions ,with updates, on offer.... ANY of them!.....
Good Luck... | |
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and having control. As far as i know thats what we're supposed to do to them!! 
