| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:29:43 AM | | I am new to online dating and would love to hear from those slightly more experienced than me, on whether it makes your life any easier. Id also like to hear some opinions on the advantages and disadvantages of dating online. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:38:58 AM | It depends ...
... on whether you enjoy being in the 7th circle of hell 
Sorry. That was the first thought that popped into my mind. Honestly, if you use on-line dating as an alternative -- and not the only -- method of meeting people, it's fine. Sometimes it's a good way to weed through the losers by emailing rather than wasting real life time with them.
Be warned, there are a lot of liars and flakes on all the dating sites. It can be fun if you're careful ... and extremely patient  | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:39:33 AM | | I imagine for a women it may be like a shoppiing expo. For most men it is a futile attempt at meeting others. Women tend to pick the top of the visual financial crop and the average guy hasent a chance on dating sites. It almost makes you wonder why not lie, dangle a carrot but I figure women who are here for financial gain or what they can get arent worth the time anyway. I choose to look locally for what I consider real women not virtual on line dates. There is just no substitue like meeting someone in your daily walk of life, when you can get an instintanious assessment of behavior characteristics which 0n line sites dont have. Most women online dont respond to inquiries, so I find it a waste of time spending time writing and being creative for others that dont have any appreciaton of someones effort to get to know them. Seeing the delete next to one of my corresponances tells me why put up the effort, I have better things to do with my time like spendint some of it on the forums which I enjoy. I have better luck at the grocery store meeting women than on POF | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:42:37 AM | Ive only been on here for a week but i find it a nice distraction.
Ive talked to a couple of girls and found nothing serious (or met anyone yet in real life) but it help's distract me from when i want to call people i should't or at heart know i should't.
It's all about the contact :D | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:46:39 AM | The only thing its good for is to keep you busy on a slow day at the office.
Since you're new I'll save you the trouble of posting any questions about dates. The answer always is "Sorry. He's just not that into you"
That seems to be the answer to everything around here.... | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:53:39 AM | | I find real life a lot more easy then online dating.One advantage I like about on line dating is all the different people that are here from other towns and citys.And the "about me" section on thier profiles gives you a heads up about them with out having to say a word. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:57:02 AM | I don't know about easier, but for me that wasn't the point anyway. It's made it possible to meet people I wouldn't have encountered otherwise. Though none has yet been a real match, I have liked all my dates and have been treated very well.
Advantages: You get to know a whole lot more about a person before even meeting than you would if, say, your eyes met across a crowded room.
You also may find nice people (as mentioned above) whom you might not ordinarily meet elsewhere.
Disadvantages: You get to know a whole lot more about a person before even meeting than you would if, say, your eyes met across a crowded room.
You will probably find more who are not yet through with an ex, whether in practical or emotional terms or both, than you might in meeting people elsewhere. IMO that's because people break up, and think, "Well fine, I'll just go find a date, then!" and sign up on dating sites, without considering the potential consequences to those they may date. So keep an eye open for that. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:05:01 AM | Online dating can be a bit like finding a needle in a haystack.
Like a few of my friends that have been successful with on line dating have said, "finding that needle makes the long intensive search worth it."
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 10:14:19 AM | One good aspect is that it's FREE!!!!! Trying to find that special person on-line, now thats the hard part. I've met a few people from this site, but still looking for that needle in that hackstack | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:11:58 AM | I wouldn't say it makes life easier, but I agree with others that it makes it easier to meet people you wouldn't otherwise meet. I work at home and don't go 'out' very much.
I would also add that you can make online dating a lot easier for yourself if you set rules and boundaries. For instance, if you send an email and don't get a reply, assume they are not interested and move on. If you get as far as exchanging phone numbers, the same applies: one call or text not returned, delete the number and forget about him. Don't take it personally, and don't waste your time wondering why. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:45:22 PM | Easier? Oh hell noooo....
At this point, it's pure entertainment on the forums for me. I don't use online dating as an exclusive form of dating. If someone was solely using this, then I'd say HA- Good luck!
What I like about online is that it enables me to meet people outside of my immediate area (not that I'm looking to date someone in another country either). I can "meet" people from the comfort of my home/work place (shhhhhh...they don't know! ;-) Generally speaking, my experiences haven't been bad. I've met some cool people, but yet to meet someone that I connect with on all levels.
There are a lot of characters on here (both men and women of course). You have all kinds of people here; some married, some not emotionally available, some jaded/bitter and some that are "normal" (what ever that may be..lol).
Take your time getting to know someone, don't be afraid to ask questions and be careful when meeting someone face-to-face.
Happy fishing!
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:55:16 PM | Not at all. IMO, it just adds more problems. Unlike meeting people through friends, church, work, hobbies etc....
You're not sure if they are who they say they are
You don't know if their photo is theirs
You don't know if their profile is true
You don't know anyone who knows them and can vouch for them
You have no way of verifying anything they claim
There's a level of anonymity that means they can disappear without any accountability
The "meet and greet" is extremely superficial
The potential for false projections and assumptions is enormous
To me, it's really not worth it. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:00:19 PM | "You have all kinds of people here; some married, some not emotionally available, some jaded/bitter and some that are "normal" (what ever that may be..lol). "
->you forgot to mention liars, cheaters, perverts, pedos, drug addicts, sex addicts, STD carriers, stalkers, etc
For sure it's the easiest and quickest way to learn how not to trust a word from their mouth and about their profiles. People could say and write anything to get what they want.
The only thing you could trust here is your gut feelings and their actions but only if they wait around until they show any kind of action which can prove they are trustworthy.
Don't forget we live in a disposable society. If they can't get or see the sign to get what they want within their dead line, they just move on to the next target in the speed of the light. The disposable cycle is way much faster on line than in real life. The best place to learn to let it go also.
I wish all the newbies come to forum first to save their time and energy. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:15:31 PM | It made my life easier. I don't know where or how I would have had the opportunity to meet the gentlemen I met. My partner and I met online and started out more like activity partners.
Advantages are that it is a great way to screen potential dates, better know if you share enuf common interests to even bother with a meet/date, and smay spare us from suffering thru a bad date. I never wound up on a bad date. Maybe some were better than others but all were pleasant. Oh! Wait! I forgot the one freak who tried to seduce me but I WANT to forget it. And that actually was our second date. The first one was very nice.
The disadvantages are you're going to message or talk by phone with at least a couple of bitter men with baggage, pieces of work and/or pervs. But you get the same thing using more 'traditional' methods. Onther disadvantage is that the forums are addictive. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:20:11 PM | Easier in what way?
The biggest mistake people make is coming to on line dating thinking it will be as easy as clicking on a profile to get a date.
It's actually exactly the same as in real life. If you are successful at dating in real life then you will be on line. If you aren't, then you wont.
Advantage - you have the opportunity to connect with much more people than you will encounter in your day to day life.
Disadvantage - of all of those much more people, the majority of them aren't people you would want to encounter in your day to day life. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:25:37 PM | It's the lack of context that creates problems. You virtually and possibly get to "know" this person trough texts and emails, but you and this person do not have any joint context whatsoever( in terms physical settings, friends, people, background or anything). Your sole mutual history and context is a bunch of text you exchanged. It's like meeting a literary character in person.
So, going out there and meeting them is basically like being dropped out on a foreign planet. You get up, brush your ass, and try to move around and explore things that seem awkward, strange and new, without ceasing to ask yourself " wtf am I doing here?" | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:32:55 PM |
you forgot to mention liars, cheaters, perverts, pedos, drug addicts, sex addicts, STD carriers, stalkers, etc
They should be required to produce the ex's name and phone number so you can really check them out.
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 3:53:44 PM | Yes it does make it easier
You don't have to worry about public rejection or humiliation, you can lick your wounds and learn something about how you present yourself that you would not know by approaching someone in the real world.
And you actually know more about what interests a person has so you can get to know what's on the inside without being focused on the outside. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:52:09 PM |
it makes your life any easier.
It has absolutely no effect on my life. Neither easier or harder. To me it's like asking "does watching T.V. make your life easier?"
If my life is relatively easy, I have time to watch t.v.
If my life is relatively difficult, I don't have time to watch t.v.
My life affects my online dating, my online dating doesn't affect my life.
Although it could if I let it. I try really hard not to, though. | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:02:50 PM | The advantages:
You can send email no matter what your schedule.
I work nights, so dating is problematic.
There is a buffer between you and the other so it's
less awkward to hi out of the blue. For example, in a supermarket,
it is harder to break the ice as women are(with good reason)
pretty defensive in person out-n-about during the day.
There is a seemingly endless selection online.
You can control the flow and pace of correspondence to your own comfort level.
You can read abit about the person first before you decide if you want to communicate.
Unlike meeting someone out of the blue where you know very little about the person.
Sounds great, but there are disadvantages to be considered as well.
While easier to say hi to a stranger, it is often harder to really communicate this way.
Typing doesn't have the emotional nuances a voice can convey.
The endless selection can be a distraction as well.
As you can be rejected by much higher numbers than in real life.
LOL
There is some math to this.
If I told you 10 out of 100 peeps are right for you.
Clever you would just email a hundred(or two) and think you're bound to hit that lucky ten.
But what happens with such a large volume is you may be hitting the 90% incompatibles over and over before you hit your 10% sweet spot.
Another disadvantage is people can lie online easier than in real life.
Age,income, interests, pictures can all be fudged or faked.
Most newbies start out emailing the "hot" people only to find out they are not really who they say they are, or are so popular online that you have to wait your turn.
Meanwhile you may be spammed by a ton of peeps you aren't interested in.
Some may be creeps, some may be cons.
And all that before you actually meet someone.
Which brings up something common to all online daters and the first newbie mistake everyone probably makes. The Sleepless~In~Seattle fantasy romance. It gos like this:
You meet someone online and connect very well.
Emails go well. You move to phone and that progresses well.
So you get all into this person you haven't met and fill in the gaps with your own imagination. You actually have feelings of a sort for this person so it must be real. He/she sounds so great! You're smitten!
then you meet.
And that isn't so fantastic.
They may be fake in some way.
Or even if they have have been totally honest in all aspects with you there may be no chemistry.
OR worse, there is. And wild sex soon breaks out between two people who really don't know other well enuff to be compatible. This mental fantasy factor is well known by players who use it to their advantage. They only have to present this fantastic facade for a few dates to bang a girl and move on.
So here's how to do it right.
One, be cautious and skeptical... but not cynical.
Two, be open but not naive.
Three, move from text to phone as soon as you get a feel for a person.
and meet as soon as you are comfortable doing so. It sucks to
waste alot of time with someone only to find out he/she is not what you thought.
Four, when you meet someone first time. Public place. Not yours or theirs.
Five, ENJOY the adventure. Have fun!
You'll be plenty frustrated. Make mistakes.
Meet idiots in spite of your best filtering efforts.
You may have folks disappear and you'll never know why.
You will learn from the bad experiences.
And if not too full of yourself, you'll grow some.
and last thing.
Make your life a pleasure being single.
and THEN bring someone into it.
This will make you more patient to finding your one and only.
Instead of throwing yourself at whoever you bump into.
Lot of frogs in this pond. No need to get wrapped up in every one.
Cus patience is the one thing most essential to overcome the disadvantages I listed.
Good Luck!
We're pullin for ya! | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 5:17:29 PM | Take it with a grain of salt! lol I've been dating online for almost a decade. I've met many many many different people over the years. I'd give it a ratio of 1 outta 10. For every 10 guys I meet, only 1 (maybe!) is worth seeing again. Then again, I also still date guys I meet other ways too (clubs, school, through friends, etc.) and it's about the same odds haha.
With that being said, I did meet my last bf off a dating website and we were together for a couple of years. Wonderful relationship and if it hadn't been for Yahoo Personals we would not have ever met each other.
Just enjoy it and count on a LOT of first dates! Use it to learn about who you are really looking for. It's fun when this happens:  hahahaha | |
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| Does online dating make your life easier?
Posted: 10/28/2009 6:15:25 PM | | I've gone on some dates from online, it's a process, you have to weed out the weirdos , crazies & married or taken, but if you get to talking with someone it gives you a chance to feel them out & decide what to do from there. | |
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