| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:23:25 PM | Guys if you have been exchanging a few POF messages and moved to texts how would you feel if the lady suggested meeting before you did?
Would you be pleased, flattered or would you take a dim view and consider her to be "up for it"?
Ladies, not to leave you out, do you do this or do you wait to be asked? | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:28:57 PM |
Would you be pleased, flattered or would you take a dim view and consider her to be "up for it"?
It would depend on the female and what has gone before it in the messages, texts, etc.
Generally, it doesn't bother me and I don't think too much about it nor do I judge the female. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:31:33 PM | | Maybe its gals of a certain age but its not something im comfortable with doing, altho sometimes when the contacts been going on for a week or so i do think will you just ask me already! | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 1:39:55 PM | to be honest OP.
when it has gone to talking on the phone, 9 times out of 10,we have both said,where shall we go ,in the same converstion.(if you get what i mean).they have always said when are you free,and take it from there.
am i on topic here | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:05:42 PM | | Pleased,flattered and breath a sigh of relief.My current gf suggested we meet up for a coffee,i was glad she did cos i was thirsty Joking aside i was pleased as i wanted to meet her but was abit nervous of mentioning it first incase she thought i was going too fast. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:14:31 PM | I would have no problem in suggesting to meet after emailing and txting and talking on the phone but all depending on how the conversation has been going.
You fairly quickly get the feel for if this is a friendship or if its something that can go further. Either way I still would feel comfortable in asking to meet up...... | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:15:12 PM | | It would be amazing as I have had this fortune only three times but then due to my shyness i refused to meet up, incredible. Though it does not happen very often to me due to my unpresentable image. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:00:54 PM | There seems to be quite a few people who use dateing sites to just pretend to want to date or to boost their ego's or wotever! So I certainly dont want to waste any of my precious time on somone like that so I am normally quite quik to suggest meeting up because quite simply that is what we are here for, to date.
I dont see it as appearing to be "up for it", altho maybe men do, if the woman asks first. Altho I might suggest meeting I normally leave the decision where to meet upto them tho. After writing all this down I can see where I am going wrong lol
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JTFN
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Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 9 | |
| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:02:09 PM |
Ladies, not to leave you out, do you do this or do you wait to be asked?
I wonder how many females on here have asked a guy for date.. Not many i think.. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:07:53 PM | Maybe because as the OP suggests women think its not the done thing to ask the man out ?
Or the woman feels like she is appearing too desparate to ask first?
Or even that she may not feel attractive enough to wait to be asked ?
Lots of reasons why a lady might not ask first even ...good old fashioned etiqette? | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:12:19 PM | I used to do the whole ping pong emailing, then texting, then chatting on the phone, then sometimes meeting up ..
However I found that chatting like this to a person is all well and good, until you meet, and then find the person who you have been chatting to and getting on great with really is nothing like you thought or hoped ..
IE no spark, no chemistry, nothing like their photo, the list is endless..
Get the misery out of the way and meet, yes I would suggest it if I felt inclined, saves both our time..
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:19:20 PM | I have been the first to suggest a date, nd in some cases it works and in others it doesn't. I tend to think if they think worse of me over that, then good riddance! However, I also think that everything should work both ways, and depending how it's done, I don't necessarily take a knock back as confirmation they aren't serious or not interested, maybe they just need more time just like some women do. However, if theyve turned me down for a meet, the ball is most definitely in their court, it's up to them to keep up communication, and up to them to ask me next time if neither of us loses interest first.
Internet dating shouldn't be important, it should be a luagh. If you let it affect self esteem based on how people behave towards you that are basically strangers, you'll end up a wreck. Takes most people a little while to come to terms with this, you see it in the forums, but once you do, it's all much better! | |
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JTFN
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Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 13 | |
| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:27:06 PM |
IE no spark, no chemistry, nothing like their photo, the list is endless..
Get the misery out of the way and meet, yes I would suggest it if I felt inclined, saves both our time..
A good reason to webcam chat then...
you'll end up a wreck.. Takes most people a little while to come to terms with this, you see it in the forums, but once you do, it's all much better!
I can't agree with you there.. It really doesn't make much difference if your rejected.. Life goes on and its all part of a single mans life.. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:31:56 PM | We have had this discussion before but the only thing that the webcam will clarify is that you are the person you say you are. It does not allow a spark to ignite or for chemistry to work.
And actually
you'll end up a wreck is pretty acurate bythe posts I have read some people are very bitter and very twisted regarding the opposite sex driven by their experience of POF.
msg 17...why wait for him to ask you for a third date? If you enjoyed the first 2 why not ask him?? | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:33:16 PM | I had talked to a guy for a while who was only interested in friends (I was happy with that as he made me laugh and had a very quick wit).......... one day I was moaning about a guy who had arranged a date (time wise) and then forgot to mention to me the exact details of 'said date'. Mr 'I want to be friends' said "if you want to meet up sometime would be cool". I said " what you doing tomorrow?". We had one of the best 'first dates' ever  and even had a second, if he ever asked again (which is very unlikely) I would have no problems with a third 
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:39:45 PM | If you want to ask him, OP, just go for it.
You're an upfront sort of a girl, no shrinking violet, so if he's put off by you having the balls to ask then he's not very likely to be the one for you!
I've suggested a meeting before, and I've not found that it's put people off. I'd do it again if I was in a similar situation. I dont think it really matters who asks, and I think that anyone who thinks it does matter is unlikely to be my The One! | |
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JTFN
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Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 17 | |
| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 4:46:18 PM | I think you have to apply some logic to being rejected. The once bitten twice shy scenario comes into play after being bitten by a bad relationship.. There after a lesson has been learnt and and we all learn not to be in that position again..
Those that are still bitter and twisted haven’t learnt that some people do play games and will continue to play games- if YOU let them
So we come back to checking the other person out before going to and spending your own valuable time on meeting / date thats a waste of time
Staying on topic:
If a woman does ask a guy for a date and gets rejected- Whats the problem ?? You just move on to the next victim and try again.. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 7:28:30 PM |
Guys if you have been exchanging a few POF messages and moved to texts how would you feel if the lady suggested meeting before you did?
Would you be pleased, flattered or would you take a dim view and consider her to be "up for it"?
I would wait if I were you, it will only make him think your a safe bet...
Not nessacerly meaning in a sex way. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 8:43:26 PM | Especially flattered if it's someone you have been talking to for a while and really like. And maybe time or distance has been an issue and... there are things you really like about them and you know that if the chemistry falls on its head you'll still really enjoy their company and you suss that they will really enjoy yours.
That it's not a spontaneous 'punt' by someone who's just up the road or bored or just fancies a night out. And you suss that if the elusive chemistry is there for you both, fireworks might happen. And if it's not - you both don't really give a... coz the other person is really worth knowing. I don't think there's more flattering that can happen than that on a dating site. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/28/2009 11:28:09 PM | Guys if you have been exchanging a few POF messages and moved to texts how would you feel if the lady suggested meeting before you did?
It would depend entirely on the person but generally if I had progressed through emails and texts I would be gearing myself up to ask anyway so it doesn't matter that they did it first.
Would you be pleased, flattered or would you take a dim view and consider her to be "up for it"?
I would be pleased because it would indicate that they may potentially like me and had thought about meeting me, I would definitely be flattered. I like strong women and would be probably more attracted to them because of it. I would not consider them as "up for it" as a meeting can go very well or badly and beforehand rarely indicates how it will go.
Ladies, not to leave you out, do you do this or do you wait to be asked?
Not directed at me but I say go for it. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:10:25 AM | This makes me mad your not all 12 year olds in the play ground .......... Ask who you want out if you have the b*lls.Try not to worry about your past, not every ones out to hurt you..............And no i dont have the b*lls to ask but i have had some brill dates of hereand made some BRILL friends. i do try to go to every one who asks.
Not FOUND Mr right Yet but still looking.
As my good old mam used to say
`` dance with every one who ask you dont have to leave with them. but they have a cr*p walk back to thier mates if you dont `` | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:41:44 AM |
Would you be pleased, flattered or would you take a dim view and consider her to be "up for it"?
Indifferent, its nice to be asked but its no big deal. It really doesn't matter who asks as long as either you or they eventually do if you're looking to progress.
If you don't ask you don't get and if you don't ask you'll never know. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:45:41 AM | | I've never liked the "up for it" expression; I prefer "willing to share"...and no, I don't think someone asking to meet is willing to share; I just think they're willing to explore possibilities. After all, one can chat/text/email forever but nothing compares to actually meeting the person and seeing the realitity of it all. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:32:27 AM | If I have been 'talking' to someone for up to 2 weeks, and he hasn't mentioned meeting up yet, I usually do.
I don't like 'wasting' 3 months or so exchanging messages, then to meet in the flesh and realise there is no chemistry.
If the guy feels it's too soon, I'm fine with waiting a bit but more often than not he hasn't wanted to suggest it as he was afraid I might think it too soon. | |
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| SUGGESTING A DATE
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:39:54 AM |
how would you feel if the lady suggested meeting before you did?
I would be worried incase she was only after me for my body and not my mind!
I'd be more than happy if a genuine lady suggested meeting for a date before I did.
I know though that most women still prefer men to make the first move when it comes to dating. | |
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