| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 7:56:47 AM | Hi,
I find these situations perplexing and was wondering if anyone has had the same experience. It happened on a few occasions where I get an e-mail from a guy then he asks for pictures. I don't have them on my profile but have private pictures and I am willing to share as I have nothing to hide. I usually get compliments on my appearance, or comments like "thanks for sharing your nice pictures", "do you want to chat on MSN" etc. I then ask for pictures back if they are not posted on their profiles and I get the below responses:
-they don't have them
-they don't have any recent ones to send
-they don't have them even though I see on their profiles they have the 'private pictures' section marked as 'yes'
-they they will send pictures at a later date and do not
I have one guy ask to meet in person and I said that I do not meet people without pictures and he never responded back.
I am being too shallow for asking for pictures before I carry on a conversation via POF? I just want to have an idea of whom I am talking to. They seem decent enough via e-mail and their profiles real enough.
I have thought of the possibility that they don't really think I am attractive so don't want to share pictures back and just being polite by complimenting my appearance. But why then they keep e-mailing me?
Sometimes a guy e mails me first and I ask to see pictures and he asks for mine first. I share them won't get pictures back. Why won't they share their pictures? I am thinking of putting on my profile 'must have picture to contact me' but don't want to eliminate ones that are shy etc. at first.  | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:20:43 AM |
I am being too shallow for asking for pictures
A photo is not only a reasonable but a necessary request. If I ask for a photo and get anything back other than a photo.. the conversation ends right there. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:24:05 AM | | If you are sending a photo, and then they do not want to send one back, then they are probably not interested. If they are not sending one back, but still want to meet you, they are probably married. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:45:14 AM | I had a conversation with a woman and she wouldn't send me a picture, she said she didn't want it posted all over the internet, i asked her if someone did that and she said no. She said the conversation can end right now if you need that to see me, i kept talking to her.
So she described herself and i agreed to meet her anyway. She was what she said and i wasn't disappointed. We had a good conversation, and told her i wasn't looking for long term. She says thats ok, u just need to date lots of people to find the right one...then she says i think your honest and i like you alot and i would go out with you again.
SO i email her the next day and see if she wants to meet and tells me that her and I want two dif.things and she already sowed her oats when she got D six yrs ago. I said then why did you tell me you wanted to go out with me again if you knew i didn't want long term right now and newly D? Why did u put down dating when you really want LTR? she said thats fair. I was more put off by her expectations rather than her lack of picture which i was willing to overlook. Do women just not want to scare guys off by putting LTR? | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:45:39 AM | OP: No, you're not being shallow or unreasonable. If you are being bombarded by men who do not wish to provide pictures of themselves, place this as a filter on your emailing criteria.
If they are being difficult about this, IMO they are hiding something. I would also suggest that you place this on your profile, but it won't necessarily deter those if you don't have the filter. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:57:34 AM | ^^^^^ I agree with Sabrosura!
I used to get emails from those who had no pic posted, nor private image available. They would repeatedly want to set a meeting without me seeing one, that is a big "hell, to the naw" for me. If, that makes me shallow....I can live with it.
I remedied the situation by putting the filter on. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:36:01 AM | I don't post pictures on here but will share them if asked..I am not all that savy on POF filters and things, so I usually will send them and then delete them later. I am a professional man and prefer to keep myself out of situations that can crop up with employees and the like. I realize that it will limit my responses, but I understand that and accept that.
I agree with MS and SAb, and if they don't send them to you later..forget about them.. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:55:59 PM | | Simple, make sure you get their photos before you send yours. If they aren't willing or can't be bothered to send them to you don't bother sending yours. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:35:30 PM | Can you all send me your pictures? After all, you all get
to see me.
p.s. As for being shallow? Nope. I have no interest in meeting someone blind, where I have no clue about what they look like. Shit, it's scary enough hoping they DO look like the pics they've posted. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 1:54:50 PM | | I want to see someone's picture before I even contemplate corresponding with them. I don't allow users with no pictures to contact me. Waste of my time. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 2:40:32 PM | | i agree 1000 percent with the board. when people email/text you w/o a picture don't send a picture of yourself first. (everybody has camera phone----men are more tech savvy than women) . no excuses. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:17:04 PM | Hey,
Some people don't want to be judged by their looks first. That doesn't mean they are unsightful. Had a date with a very nice woman on here who didn't post. She turned out to be very pretty. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:21:02 PM |
i agree 1000 percent with the board. when people email/text you w/o a picture don't send a picture of yourself first. (everybody has camera phone----men are more tech savvy than women) . no excuses. Since WHEN???????????? are Men more tech savy?????????? Was that a Joke??? | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:39:02 PM | | When I see a profile without a publically available picture, my first thought is that the person doesn't want anyone to know that they are on the site (i.e., married, embarassed--though why they should be, I don't know!). Call me suspicious, but I think there's something dishonest about hiding yourself behind a blank square. One guy did give me a semi-reasonable explanation for not having one...but it was an exceptional circumstance, and I never did find out the truth of the matter. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:54:37 PM | IF you are actively seeking and pursuing a relationship on ANY DATING SITE and DO NOT have pictures POSTED you are playing a game.
Question? What are YOU hiding??? You are not being truthful when you say you have nothing to hide or you would present yourself as who you are up front with pictures!
You need to hide your entire profile and re-evaluate why the hell you are even on a dating site! | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 4:40:03 PM | Lol - I guess nobody reads the terms of the user agreement when they sign on. I used to have several pics uploaded but I removed them for the following reason.
All pictures submitted to pof becomes the property of pof, and this means that they can use your pictures in advertisements for the website if they wanted to. Futhermore, they never delete old accounts - especially if they're women.
Just recently, there have been more than a few reports of women complaining that their "deleted" accounts are showing up as either still being active or being used in web ads. Imagine how awkward it be to explain to their future significant others why their face is plastered over the internet of them looking for hot guys....
I'm actually really surprised by the number of people that DO have their pics up. I think its safer to just send the pics afterwords via a third party - such as hotmail. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:09:55 PM | ^^ I just re-read it - yep, I did read it when I first signed up - and I don't see what you're interpreting as meaning these things. None of it sounds like that to me.
I know that when I've searched for deleted accounts, male or female, I've turned up nothing but a message saying that the account was deleted, when it was deleted, and whether it was terminated by the user or terminated by the site.
Also, you might as well put those pictures back up if this is the case, since they have already been submitted. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 5:35:36 PM | | Thanks for all your comments. I want to give peole the benefit of the doubt. Some people who don't post public pictures on their profiles are actually quite attractive or have jobs where they need anonymity. Some are just plain shy. One guy wouldn't send me pictures for the longest time because he didn't think he was attractive. Nevertheless, these people eventually coughed up pictures. It's the ones who won't share that make me wonder. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:23:02 PM | I had a guy when I first started on this site wanting to meet me , but he had no picture. I asked him for his picture and he said he couldn't provide one due to his job, top secret government job  Anyway, I told him I was not interested in meeting anyone that was not willing to share pictures and then set my filters to the person must have a picture prior to contacting me. I really don't understand people who go on dating sites and don't have a picture and if that makes me shallow then that is fine. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/29/2009 10:24:47 PM | Maybe there are types of photos you don't want to share ...
or shouldn't
I used to but it didn't work out for me. So now they either see me in person or not at all. | |
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| People won't share or exchange pictures
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:44:34 AM | | I'll post a picture as soon as I can get someone to take my picture. The ones I take of myself by myself using my camera turn out bad. I know it will be a while because until I post a picture my chances of getting a date are low. But maybe there is a woman who has the same problem and we could meet, take profile pictures, then after we have them on here we could look at our profiles again and want to go out for real. | |
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