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Posted: 10/29/2009 11:22:45 AM | Months ago I decided top try the online dating sites . The first one I happened to look at had a woman who really interested me and the way that site was set up, I sent her a 'wink' for the initial contact. She responded right away thanking me, telling me some info about herself and sent me her e-mail address to get in touch.
But I blew it as I made a mistake in the e-mail address and didn't realize it for quite awhile . After the second try I just figured she wasn't interested after not hearing back and let it go. Since her profile was the only one that interested me at the time , I let my membership run out on that site and that was that.
Months later when I realized my error, I revisited the site but her profile was gone. I thought about e-mailing her then ... hopefully with the corrected address ... but thought that might not be a good idea ; with her profile removed from the site she might be seeing someone and I wouldn't want to chance interfering with it.
Sitting around with some friends the other day laughing about careless mistakes we've all made, I mentioned this one of mine. My friend's wife suggested to look her up on My Space since it's a site that's set up for finding people and people do expect to be contacted by others they haven't heard from in some time. I looked and she does have a page there but she hasn't logged in for months so the chance of her reading mail there is slim to none . I was also told to try Face Book and checking that site was surprised that she was there , also.
From what I saw of the two sites, I wouldn't hesitate to send her a message on My Space but Face Book seems more of a private place ... something about you having to be on their 'friend's list' to send a message ? I have no experience with either place, so I may be wrong about this.
I'd like to hear opinions about this : would you think sending her a message at one of these sites would be out of line ? Do you think a woman would be concerned about someone making a contact like this out of nowhere or would she be flattered ? I 'm not a kook and don't what to appear to be.
I'd appreciate anyones thoughts about this . | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 11:37:04 AM | | You can send her a message on facebook, even if you aren't her "friend." Also, even if she doesn't log in often, she will probably get an email alert that she has a message there. You have nothing to lose by trying. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 11:46:11 AM | | I don't know...its been months. You never met her in person. Just let it go. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 11:59:56 AM | You are so full of self-doubt.
Did you ever think that she was no longer on the dating site because she hadn't met anyone?
You have all these scenarios playing out in your head. So much drama going on.
You should write to the correct email address and explain your blunder.
IF she's involved with someone she will let you know.
What is the big deal in sending her an email ? You aren't asking her to marry you. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 12:22:09 PM | frankly, i think you are way over-thinking this. you have her email address and you know her name. now, you don't know if that was a throwaway address or not, so if you want to contact her, it might be best to send a message to FB or my space (whichever she was on most recently). just explain the events, apologize, and ask if she would like to start over. the worst she can do is ignore you or say, "no thanks". you could add what you think was her email address and ask if it is correct, and provide your own.
i can't say what all women would do in this event. i would assess the situation, the mitigating factors, my own circumstances, and then decide what to do.
here's an anecdote: guy contacts me online, we take it to personal mail, then phone. asks for date, says will call that night to make a plan. never calls. i move on. over a yr later, he contacts me again online. exchange a few mails there. explained that was a strange yr he had. wants to go out. i say, well, if you still have my number, call me. he didn't. result: he did not get my number again. why? not a good enough excuse, especially considering i still had all of his contact info in the original emails.
final word: keep in mind, you may only be a distant memory, at best. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 1:23:05 PM | As a MAN in your age-gene pool.. who HAS dated on and off these past 30 years..
I say contact her.. It seems you are sincere and genuine.
Frankly.. I'd pretty much lay it all out to her in your INITIAL email.. the mixup with email addresses.. going off the site.. going back on and finding her gone etc
It will tell her that she made a POSITIVE and MEMORABLE impression on you.
Then it's all a crapshoot.
Just take your chances.. Nothing to lose at all. You are showing a good quality to own up your own mistakes.
Send it to facebook as the other poster said..
Have fun | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 5:53:17 PM | | Don't be a Wuss... send her a message on Facebook... explain what happened... have a good laugh... it's a private message anyway... what's the worst that can happen??? GL : ) | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 6:25:21 PM | If she hasn't been on myspace or facebook in months...
that is a sure sign she is seeing someone.
Plus odds are even if you did reconnect,
she wouldn't be interested.
Move on cowboy.
Other fish in the sea.
Obsessing on a girl you never met...
and only had one email exchange with is a newbie thing.
and not good. | |
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Posted: 10/29/2009 7:14:00 PM | Don't be a numb nut and be letting go of another opportunity. Find out...send that message...look, she did send you that message, yes? Its old fashioned, it seems genuine, its corny...pfft and *cough* fecking romantic, why the heck not. Do it.
Or you can hang around here with a lifetime sentence, always thinking what if.... Not that we're bad company or anything. | |
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Posted: 10/30/2009 5:22:05 AM | There are 2 schools of thought here...
1. You seem really desperate and stalky
2. You seem really romantic and somewhat of a maverick..
If it was me ...
I would move on.. I think that 2 only happens in films with matthee mchonaghey who I hate cos he always eats while he talks in films..GRRR 
But then again, she may think it's really sweet and feel all chased n stuff... So I'm gonna say go for it, just to see what happens, if you do come across stalkery you dont know her so what the hell!! Yeah do it... In fact I would do it for curiosity alone!!
FIN | |
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Posted: 10/30/2009 7:49:55 AM | I say " GO FOR IT" this could be the one. You certainly seem nice and sincere. If you don't, you may have just missed out on the love of your life, and you'll always wonder... what do you have to loose? Good luck.... | |
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Posted: 10/30/2009 9:58:06 AM | | Dude, other than calling the Police, the worst would be she's no longer interested. You never know if you don't try. | |
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Posted: 10/30/2009 10:53:51 AM | | So you have her email address? Why not just email her instead of going through the social networking sites? | |
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Posted: 10/30/2009 7:15:36 PM | | Just remember that actually getting the 1st date is the hard part. Unless its a blind date she obviously likes something about you so just relax and be yourself. | |
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Posted: 11/3/2009 9:00:07 AM | Thank you all for all your responses ....
It's something about forums and the internet in general ... In this scenario I seem to be a nice, sincere, romantic guy to some and a desperate wuss / possible stalker who's obsessing about someone I never met to others, LOL . Wow , what a range ! I enjoyed reading everyone's opinions on this.
What brought contacting this woman up at this point was just the suggestion from my buddies wife and not an obsession about her. Like I mentioned, we were sitting around laughing about goofy mistakes we've made after her husband mailed all their bills with outdated stamps on them ! After she heard this one of mine she suggested to try contacting her through one of the community sites ; mater of fact it was her who found her on the sites about two minutes after I gave her the name. If I had 'stalking tendencies' I would have been be sitting outside of where she works by now since she told me that in out initial contact .
I personally thought it would be too long ago to send a message which why I asked for a few opinions from you people who have internet dating experience . Some of you now have me thinking it might be worth trying, but I still haven't made up my mind.
Thanks again to all of you for taking the time to respond to this  | |
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