| | Unapproachable...?Page 1 of 1 | | A woman I know told me that sometimes I give off the vibe as being unapproachable, especially in a bar or club...???... I asked her what she meant and she could'nt describe it... Any ladies out there have any thoughts as to what she might mean? TY. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:58:10 PM | You have the look that turns women in the other direction, like you don't want women to talk to you, or be around you. You probably don't have a friendly expression on your face, you may cross your arms, and you probably look everywhere but into people's eyes.
Try smiling and looking friendly, uncross the arms, and look people in the eye and grin. It's not that hard, just look like you're enjoying yourself and having fun.
Beth | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/29/2009 8:58:17 PM | Unapproachable means unfriendly. Cold. Standoffish. Distant. Mean. Detached. Unhappy. Disinterested.
Are you standing around stiffly, unsmiling and unrelaxed? That would do it. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/29/2009 9:09:18 PM | The possibilities are endless.
Although that is partly a play on what you write in your profile, it's also true.
It could mean extremely extroverted or extremely introverted. Either you are putting off that you're too good that they would never have a chance or you keep to yourself and look like you want to be left alone. Or it could be something else altogether.
Do you normally go out alone, or are you often with a large group? Do you keep to yourself, or are you chatting it up with everyone because you know a lot of people?
It could also have something to do with how you carry yourself. Your profile says athletic and roughly average height. I'm not athletic, but I am slightly taller, I can either make myself look bigger or smaller depending on how I present myself. It can be intimidating or unapproachable depending on how I wish to present myself.
It's really hard to even guess without knowing who you are, or seeing you out and about. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:12:21 PM | Genetic predisposition to an unapproachable disposition?
Facial expression needs inward addressing?
I'm only guessing but be friendly, talk to women in the club (don't have expectations), lighten up? | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:17:51 AM | The other posters did a really good job at describing the physical means as to make you unapproachable, however there is also a negative energy that you can put off as well, and it IS sometimes hard to describe...
My husband is a kind loving, gentle soul most of the time, however from time to time he gets into a pissy mood, and even without saying a word, his negative vibe fills the whole house...
I have met people who give off a vibe or air of being to good for everyone else as well, once again it can be physically seen, however there is also an energy that is put off as well...
The question is, when you are at a bar, what are you thinking about? Are you glad to be out and about meeting new people, or are you nervous and put up a defensive posture and energy that repels rather than draws people to you...
A long time ago I used to be insecure, had a crappy upbringing, and felt like others would know that I was not an acceptable person. I finally realized that was not gaining me friends or male interest, and learned to accept me, and enjoy being out and around other people...
I have an approachable vibe, and total strangers talk to me, just because I look at them, or usually smile...  | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:34:06 AM | | women in bars are ****ed, they want drinks and such, find women while there at work they will be much more receptive to that one guy that looks right thru them with her eyes than that one guy of a hundred or hundreds to possibly look at, then maybe in a week go see her again and ask her what she is up to and if she would like to grab a coffee or even dinner, its not you its your environment that you choose to get a womans attention thats the problem | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:32:17 AM | Unapproachable is not having a pic on your profile for us to even begin to speculate
what would make someone think that. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:13:21 AM | body language.
Work on it.
Body language is so important with interpersonal communication.
Especially in a place like a bar or other noisy environments where talk is difficult.
Look in a full length mirror and have a woman with you that you trust and knows you from the trouble situations.
TK
{smile, relax, arms not crossed over chest but not dangling, open stance, etc. Eye contact but not staring/glaring, be aware of where you are looking. Distance is very important and will vary immensely from moment to moment, depending on the situation} | |
|
AdM01
| | Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 10 | |
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:26:43 AM | | I used to get that all the time. Some close women friends told me that I look mean and angry all the time, like I'm about to kick someone's a$$. Women I eventually become friends with say when they first met me, they thought I was a a**hole because I never gave them the time of day...I was just really shy. I now smile much more and openly laugh and participate in any group conversation instead of being the quiet, brooding guy drinkin' his drink. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:24:20 AM | I'd say you don't look like you want to talk to anyone - either in a way that you're avoiding eye contact, or look uninterested in conversation.
Based on my experience working nightclubs for years - A LOT of shy guys give off this vibe accidentally by being so nervous and not knowing how to deal with the social thing, especially when they come face to face with a woman they really find attractive. It's a shame because the guys that give this vibe off tend to be the ones who really want someone to approach them the most.
You have to be aware of your body language in public places, so that you're not causing women you like to pass you by thinking you're not interested. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:45:39 AM | Well.....I suppose it's time to write something different here..... Hmmmm..... What should I write...??? Something about me...???...Something personal...???....Hmmmmm.... I don't know...lol... Perhaps something witty...???...Or charming...???...Hmmmm... I guess the possibilities are endless...lol.
I think it takes 3 days after creating an account before you can post on the forums. In three days, you've come up with "...???....Hmmmmmm...." to describe yourself.
You need to be able to talk about yourself. The more you do it, the better that 'something' becomes that makes people want to approach you, whether online or in a bar. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:56:31 AM | | Being unapproachable is definitely in the vibe you give off. I've seen men and women of the same faults where I work, but since I'm very sociable, I usually get them talking about themselves and if they'r friendly enough, I'll even introduce them around. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:03:14 PM |
You need to be able to talk about yourself. The more you do it, the better that 'something' becomes that makes people want to approach you, whether online or in a bar.
That's a very good point. I thought about mentioning the off-putting vibe of your current profile, too. It makes it seem like you don't want to be here and don't want to say anything about yourself, and that might be the way you're perceived in public as well. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:41:12 PM | | Hmmm this almost describes me to a T. I've kind of grasped it but never truly acknowledged it. I have happy moments but I suppose I AM rather unapproachable. A lot of work...a lot of work. | |
|
oye101
| | Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 16 | |
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:34:30 PM | | I think I come off as unapproachable too. Only the brave ones come up to me lol I think being confidence give off that vibe to people. I had guys told me that they wanted to come up and talk to me but afraid to, I guess the ones who said that must not be that afraid. So I give them props. I think b/c I look serious all the time. lol. I always look serious unless you talk to me, then you'll find out I'm easy to talk to and easy going which is who i am inside. Maybe she think you looked serious, like leave me alone, or get the hell out of my way serious lol | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:16:30 PM |
A woman I know told me that sometimes I give off the vibe as being unapproachable, especially in a bar or club...???... I asked her what she meant and she could'nt describe it... Any ladies out there have any thoughts as to what she might mean? TY
Top 3 reasons that may put someone in to the unapproachable category.
1 -Not smiling and have a look on their face that is not very inviting.
2 -Always looking down and not making eye contact.
3 - Total douche bag. | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/31/2009 6:51:56 PM |
A woman I know told me that sometimes I give off the vibe as being unapproachable, especially in a bar or club...???...
Perhaps you're "so cool" you're "cold".... | |
|
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:54:49 PM |
Any ladies out there have any thoughts as to what she might mean?
I have the perfect answer for you, but I'm feeling a little stand-off-ish at the moment. | |
|
LD44
| | Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 20 | |
| |
| Unapproachable...?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:36:29 PM | | OK.... I talked it out with my friend and she says it's because I'm 'extremely confident'... lol... ?? | |
|
Home
login 
