| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:09:37 AM | Yeah, I was gone for a few months. Not that anyone noticed I was here anyway, but you never know. Someone might have.
So where did I go? I found someone, and I didn't see the point to keep going on here.
Fast forward two months...which is where I think I need some outside opinion.
I can understand a break, I can definitely understand personal alone space. But is there a set, drawn line where it stops being personal space and it begins to be the person intentionally trying to shove you out of their life?
Here's some detail. Spending a couple of hours together every other day is acceptable, I assumed. Especially since my girlfriend tells me that after a month of being with me every day, it's time to slow down. What makes me mad is when she refuses to answer her phone regardless of time of day, makes no attempt to contact me for over a week, drive by my house to visit her friends and doesn't even honk the horn at me, complains that she hasn't seen her friends in two days and they might have the swine flu (while I am puking up three cups of blood in the hospital, mind you)...I give up trying to make this gramatically correct. You get the point. I got sick of being avoided. After over a month of only seeing her three times, I figured it out pretty quick.
This girl just only wanted me around when she wanted something, it felt. If I wanted or needed something, tough shit. Who cares what I need, y'know? So I realized this wasn't a relationship and told her to give me my ****ing Miami Dolphins jersey back. The one I spent 75 dollars to have my own name put on the back. The one my girlfriend should wear for me...and never did. She still can't find it.
Maybe I should be asking you guys what to do to get that jersey back. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:14:57 AM | madman, fitting...
You smothered her in the first month by your every other day couple hour routine... She obviously was looking for something at a slower pace, and you didn't want to give it to her...
By month two she was tired of you, but gutless to let you know she was no longer into you...
Now you gave her a gift, and want to demand it back???
The only gift you can get back is an engagement ring, because it is a conditional contract...
Forget the shirt and forget that she didn't honk at you... It wasn't meant to be, and by lamenting in such an angry bent out of shape tone you come across as someone who is bitter, and overly demanding... Not something most PEOPLE find attractive in a partner... | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:17:37 AM | I got to start including more details...
...spending the whole month with me was her idea. (Come to think of it, this entire thing was her idea. She came to me, she showed interest, it went at her pace. I was just along for the ride.)
That help any? | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:23:08 AM | Actually not really, there is your side, her side, and the truth some where in the middle...
You are wounded, because you wanted more than the 2 months you got, that isn't all that abnormal... However if you are bitter and demanding about a stinking shirt, it isn't going to reflect well on you...
75 bucks is rather inexpensive compared to some of the major bucks men have shelled out on a woman... Besides the shirt with YOUR name on it is not going to be something she really will have much use of...
Reality, it is more than likely a power struggle now between to pissed off people that a very short THING ended...
Let it go, life is to short, and this wasn't something that was going to last.... | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:25:02 AM | Nope, a gift is a gift.
If she wants to give it to goodwill or set fire to it. It is hers.
So what is the broken heart over? The shirt or the girl.
You can buy a shirt.
So another bad woman used you for a shirt.
Pulease.
She put up with your attitude and all she has to show for it is a lousy shirt..Priceless.
I was just along for the ride Yup..exactly. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:04:20 AM | Well welcome back for all it is worth. I would write off that woman and that jersey and buy yourself a new jersey. Not saying your relationship with her when it was good was not a problem we have all been there done that. What happens afterwords who knows?
If all I ever spent on some of these dates was only 75 dollars I would be dancing in the streets over that amount.
-Travis | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:44:19 PM | Don't be angry, it won't solve a thing.
You are just different, it's not your time, however much you want it to be.
Perhaps you went in boots and all too soon ???
Perhaps she sat on your palm and you closed your fist over her ???
I can't offer you anymore insight than that.
People do things for their own reasons, and only she can tell you yours. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/30/2009 2:35:06 PM | | sorry, If I fall for someone and they for me...we want to be together every day...this coupple hours a week stuff is for the birds...thats dateing...not love...big differance. And you never give the shirt off your back to a date | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:03:38 PM | If you were just along or the ride, why so pissy?
75 bucks isn't much like someone stated above. Hell, when my boyfriend comes out with me and my girlfriends he spends 3x that amount in one sitting.
Get over it. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:33:47 PM | Well since it was her idea to be around you and then she changed her mind and was rude and indirect about it, I'm not going to say it was your fault. You believed what she originally said.
This girl just only wanted me around when she wanted something, it felt. If I wanted or needed something, tough shit. Who cares what I need, y'know?
There's your answer about your jersey. She might just be keeping it to piss you off, so I agree with the people who say you should just get a new one. It does suck, and I know everyone doesn't have $75 to easily throw around. But at least you can replace the jersey and not her- and you don't need someone inconsiderate like her anyway. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:36:34 PM | Sorry, dude.
Funny how people never come around here when things are going GOOD. Then this would be "Mended Hearts", not "Broken Hearts".
It's not amount of time spent together that is in question; it's what you do and whether you behave in a way that is mutually beneficial DURING that time. Obviously she didn't need you as much as you needed her. Chock it up to incompatibility on a couple of levels. Maybe she just didn't have anything to say-! That's why she didn't answer her phone. It takes two. It's about her as well as you.
She only wanted you around when she wanted something. Hello-! And so did YOU! This is human nature. We all use each other. Cheerily accept it. You just needed more of her than she needed of you. Clear incompatibility.
I dunno what you should do to get that jersey back if she can't find it. It was a gift that she didn't ask for and wasn't a Dolfan as wholeheartedly as you are. I'm sure she'd love to find it so she can give it back to you, be rid of you and get on with her life. Definitely ask her more nicely than "gimme my fvcking Miami Dolphins jersey back". If she can't find it, she can't find it. Chock it up to a $75 investment in something long-term than turned out to be $75 spent on temporary entertainment. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:14:36 PM | | Strange one Madman - that she was so into you for the first month and it seems she lost interest there after! It seems once she had you where she wanted you, she really didn't want you at all. Lucky you to get away with just loosing the shirt off your back! Welcome back to the site and as they say ' there's plenty more fish in the sea" So start having fun and enjoying yourself without getting too serious about anyone for the moment. Just have fun fishing! | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:08:44 AM | Use better filters.
Be slower to give your mind, body, heart, spirit and sexuality to a person you do not know very well.
Chances are very high you could have learned these things about her before you invested your heart. That's usually the case.
Due to your anger, I would also suggest getting your fists into a heavy duty punching bag. If you do not have access to one, at least pound your fists into pillows or the couch and do some good screaming. It does help.
It sounds like you got some good, strong signs earlier and didn't heed them -- another lesson to carry forward.
Regarding the jersey, .... you demean your own self-image by asking her for it. Do not talk to her at all, or communicate in any way at all (text, email, NOTHING). If she calls to give your jersey back, ignore her and do not respond in any way. It's over. Your jersey is tainted. You do not want it back. If she drops it off on your doorstep, have a ceremony and burn the damn thing. Don't replace it as it will just trigger you.
Move on. It's over. You're free. Start fresh. It's a new day.
EDIT, PS. On the burning of the jersey, people will spend $75/hour for therapy. Burning a $75 jersey to make a statement to yourself about completing a toxic relationship is a very small investment with a big return if you do it with the right mindset. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 11/5/2009 1:03:17 PM | When are guys like you going to learn that when it's over move on to the next contestant in the dating game. Al the negative energy you spewed trying to get this one back is time you could have spent with someone else. Get it through your thick skull, she blew you off, she is gone and doesn't want you so move on.
A gift is a gift, I gave a woman a nice camera one time I spent a couple hundred on and we broke up a couple months later and I did not ask for t it back as it was a gift, get over it as it makes you look pathetic.
When I look at a woman's profile here I come to the forums and search her username so I can see more about her, this will lose you dates if someone searched you and they see a lot of obsessive drama like this. Get over it and move on and look at it as her loss. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:03:21 PM | | You smothered her to death it seems. She literally ran away from you and all of your attention. I would forget about that jersey, if she can't find it. Why hound a person for anything that doesn't want contact with you? I would ask her to return it, if she finds it and leave it at that. Anything more, could result in your number being blocked permanently by her. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 11/6/2009 6:53:59 AM |
I spent 75 dollars to have my own name put on the back. The one my girlfriend should wear for me.
Thats the creepiest thing I have ever read! You want her to walk around with a shirt on with YOUR NAME STAMPED ON IT? Caaaaaaaaaazy!!!! Was that so everyone knows she was yours? Freaky!
From your anger and your attitude you sound very controlling and possesive.......maybe it took her a month to work that out? And maybe she left you because of that? I would have if you made me a shirt with your name on it! | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:46:19 AM | I don't know if you pressed her or not for all that togetherness in the first month.
She was with you every day in the first month you said. I woudn't like that unless
I had known the man for at least two or three months and was madly in love.
If she makes no attempt to contact you for over a week she is not in love.
If you give someone a gift they don't have to give it back to you. It belongs to them.
Why do you want the jersey back, did you just loan it to her?
I'm sorry you are hurt but it's time to move on and forget her and the jersey.
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:11:09 PM | Maximo34 wrote:
I spent 75 dollars to have my own name put on the back. The one my girlfriend should wear for me.
Thats the creepiest thing I have ever read! You want her to walk around with a shirt on with YOUR NAME STAMPED ON IT? Caaaaaaaaaazy!!!! Was that so everyone knows she was yours? Freaky!
From your anger and your attitude you sound very controlling and possesive.......maybe it took her a month to work that out? And maybe she left you because of that? I would have if you made me a shirt with your name on it!
Good catch Maximo34 - I'm glad I'm not the only one whose creepy meter went "ding!" It was a month, you smothered her, you resented her going out with friends and having a life outside of your whole 'month long' relationship, and you're mad she didn't honk when she drove by? Maybe because she didn't want you to see her going by! If you're all torn up about losing a whopping $75 on a custom made 'possession, you're MINE" jersey, you're in worse shape than I thought. Sheesh. Get over it. I think a bullet was dodged here...by HER. | |
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| Two for one...I'm back with a busted heart.
Posted: 11/6/2009 10:04:23 PM | Being a young man is not easy. You give your heart away too fast and then take your lumps.
Most women your age are immature and want to have fun rather than a relationship.
An aside.........
Anyone who plays a telecaster has to be a good guy. 
You are going to have to forget about her, stop any contact, and move on. Gradually her memory will fade. Get yourself involved in a new hobby or social group. You will heal.
As for the jersey I think she gave it away.  | |
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