| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:01:41 AM | | ive met this girl at my work because she was an nurse intern at my place. now that she doesn't intern there anymore, we've been texting back and forth these past few weeks, teasing and flirting just a little bit...although i usually initiate the texting first. well one night last week i texted her and finally cleared the air that i like her and she was flattered and really surprised, and even told me that i was a cutie...anyways on friday night i went out with my buddy to go get a brew at a pub and randomly she was there with her friend and she came up to me and hug me and told me i should stop by where she was sitting at before i leave..well i ended staying there until midnight and she had already left without saying goodbye...then the next day, i also initiate text again saying that it was good seeing her last night and randomly talk some bull_sh*t...from time to time i would text her good morning and good night type stuff, and she would respond back. although i tried to call a few times and i always end up getting her machine...but she has told me that she very busy with her nursing stuff, and that she would love it to let me take her out...i tried again this morning to get together for lunch...although she text me back that she was in a conference and couldnt make it....also at the same time she called me sweetie...what does this little pet names mean...is she playing mind games? | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:14:17 AM | | She's being friendly. Did you ask her if she has a texting plan or do you just keep texting? I have friends who don't have a texting plan but will respond to texts even though it annoys them. She's not interested in you. | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:38:43 AM | | If I say a man is a "cutie" or a "sweetie," then I'm not taking him seriously as a potential boyfriend. Those are names you call your chihuahua, not your man. | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:35:31 PM | Ok,
Deep breath here cause it sounds like you're the one playing "mind games" by not clearly stating your intentions.
1. Call her, don't text her.
2. Tell her you're interested in taking the relationship up a notch and you want to start dating. If she says yes, you're a go, if she says no. Say a polite thanks and wish her luck!
Jen | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:28:12 PM | I don't know what's going on with her really, but she's very unavailable. Perhaps you should text her and ask her when would be the best time to call. If she's vague or unhelpful about this, then you'll know she's not that interested.
I always feel uneasy when men use pet names. I find them too familiar and patronising. How do they make you feel? | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:42:45 PM | | Yeah...she is....leaving without saying goodby for one...was a clue...and saying she would love to go out was another clue...to agree and get out of situation quick....because you werent asking her to go out the very moment you asked her...it was a dodge tatic for her...and she probably doesnt have the heart to tell you she isnt interested in you...in a together sense...pet names...dont bank on it...i call a lot of my friends honey....i say...dont call her again... and be casual next time you see her...wave hello...do not bring up anything about calling her or future plans...that will make you look desperate... | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:47:27 PM | | Making yourself too available is a bad idea. Stop the texting already. That's what friends do. You're acting like a lap dog. Ask her out on a date. If she goes, then take it from there. If she doesn't then you'll know you're in the Friend Zone. Absolutely nothing you've written indicates that she has any interest in you as a romance material. Time to test the waters. Ask her out. And don't do it with texting. | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:48:26 PM | Let me get this straight: you told her you liked her over text messaging? You should have asked her out in person. Not only is that more manly, but at least you'd know where you stood by gauging her reaction.
Of course, you subsequently figured all of that out:
"Asking you to come to say hello before you leave the bar."
Translation: she likes your attention. Even if she thought you were cute, you're just something to have on her arm to show others. Of course, If she tapped your shoulder (or other physical contact) or initiated contact with you, then you might have a reason to think otherwise.
"When you call her and she doesn't pick up."
Translation: Not interested. Girls that like you will go out of their way to never miss your call, particularly in the early going! Besides, most girls have their phone within arms reach most of the time, particularly between 8pm and 10pm. In any case, if they miss your call, you can be sure they'd follow up with you quickly when they find out.
"Too busy to schedule a date."
Translation: Not interested. There is no way a girl will let a man -- who's the man of her dreams -- walk. Girls just don't let that happen. If you were that "prince in shinning armor," that one and only she's been looking for her whole life, she'd literally quit her job for you.
Someone wrote:
Making yourself too available is a bad idea. Stop the texting already. That's what friends do. Ask her out on a date. If she goes, then take it from there. If she doesn't then you'll know you're in the Friend Zone. Absolutely nothing you've written indicates that she has any serious interest in you as a romance material. Time to test her.
It has nothing to do with being available. She -- in her girly way -- has already told this dude loud and clear she's not interested. It's pathetic she can't communicate properly with the OP but that's the way it works in the dating world. From her perspective, she's wondering what she has to do (besides confronting you) to make you lose interest... but yet still be friends and bathe her with attention. Asking this girl out would stamp WUSS are your forehead if it isn't already.
OP: I wouldn't talk to this girl again except in the most businesslike way (i.e. when you need to). Don't initiate anything. If you actually like this girl, you might consider moving to a different job or just plain avoid her. Guard your heart.. What's left of it. Maybe in time you can be friends, but not now. | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:05:04 PM | | Bulldog hit the hammer on the nail head. Delete her number from your phone now. Go find another girl who will make you forget about this one. Maybe your absence will trigger her emotions and she'll call. That will happen, rarely. If she does just politely say that you are looking for a real girlfriend and she doesn't seem interested. Don't be her pet-boy. | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/31/2009 5:24:36 AM | Sorry but to me this is quite clear
You are interested but not interested enough to take it off the keyboard.
You are in the same place and the same time, she invites you to join her and her mates, you dont go over, sorry I think she was right to go without saying good night (if you had gone over it would have been different me thinks).
You text an invite to lunch, why not a quick phone call and you could have heard her voice and maybe if I am right, heard her disappointment and switched it to an early supper after her meeting.
Try ringing the lady, stop acting like a teenager with the texting, when an adult is busy they dont always take in what is written or what emotion you are trying to get across.
Texting can be like sent e-mails, afterwards, when you read them you think 'bugger' wish I had used punctuation on that it could be read wrong...............................
Its not too late - try ringing her, talking to her, then you will know what she wants and what she does not. | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:07:55 AM | Trust me, as a woman, if she is avoiding your calls but replying to text messages there is a lack of interest to you. Chances are she is rolling her eyes with every text that comes through.
I do think you should call her and leave a message (seeing she never picks up)saying, "Im interested in taking you out to lunch or dinner, maybe when your schedule gets a little lighter we can meet up. Give me a call if you are interested and let me know what day/time works best for you".
I can almost guarantee she will never call you. But I could be wrong. If she is TRULY interested, she will call within a week. I mean seriously? I work in healthcare as well (in a hospital setting) and when you are truly interested in someone you MAKE THE TIME! Seems she is not interested enough. If she can MAKE TIME to hang out with the girls, she can surely make time to meet you for lunch or dinner.
Good luck. keep us posted. | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:19:43 PM | | i want to thank everyone for there input on the situation. although i do want to clarify that i have called a few times and had conversations with her answering machine...so i thought that texting her is the best way to get a hold of her, which she responds to very quickly. Y'all were right, even though she may sound busy, if she was interested, she would make the time...i mean c'mon she can spare at least an hour for lunch right? I guess i'll take y'all opinions and just leave it be. Thats the fifth rejection, 5,456,812,382,138,412,345,127,984 girls to go...lol | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:16:17 PM | dont think of it as a "REJECTION" think of it as HER LOSS and she will have 5 billion more losses if she keeps playing those games... It just kills me when women say, "why do men play these games with us.. say they are interested, tell us to call etc then when we do, we get voicemail or two word text replies and no dates?" YET she is doing the same thing..
I would text her one final time and say, "well can't say I did not try.. im always up for a good challenge but decided to just move forward. Best of luck to you" and if she replies with WTF is that about? DO NOT REPLY BACK TO HER if she has to question her actions then she truly is not WORTH YOUR TIME or EFFORTS.. and trust me on this one.. you are probably not the ONLY one she is doing this to at the same time! | |
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| ladies tell me whats going on? im confused?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:46:35 PM | It has nothing to do with being available. She -- in her girly way -- has already told this dude loud and clear she's not interested.
I'm was talking about in general, when you first meet a woman. He probably already screwed up with this one, I agree. Texting is a no-no. But he won't know for sure unless he tries to ask her out. | |
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