| Just wanted some feed back
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:13:38 AM | Not really sure why I don't get many responses, just thought I'd ask. In particular if the women on this forum could comment on my appearance then that would help.
Trust me, I don't take anything personally we all have our tastes. So have at it. | |
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| Just wanted some feed back
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:34:51 AM | Hey,
I saw your profile and here is what I think. First get a clean head shot picture of you smiling for the camera and use that as the primary.
This line "I play guitar and listening to anything I write is like looking into my head and soul through a window," needs to be reworded or lost as it doesn't make sense. What are you listening to your pen? Can you write and play guitar at the same time? As I write that now I get the opening statement, you write your own music. You need to re-word it though so it doesn't take five minutes to figure out what you are saying. Change it to "I play guitar and while I listen to the notes I have written come alive, it is like looking into my heart and soul through a window." You can steal that if you want.
Are you in a band? If you are in a band then mention it. Lose the can you keep up with me line, it's soooo played man. Why can't people go at normal speed? No, everybody always wants you to keep up with them.
I wouldn't give out the name of where you work. If you like doing your job just keep the I want to be a general manager of a luxury hotel part. But lose the it would be a big deal because most general managers are 50-60. Your profile needs to be sorely lacking in the negativity department. I personally think no negative anything should ever be on a profile. You need to list more interests and then expand on the most interesting ones in your profile. Had any interesting experiences that you would like to share? It could be anything from where you have been to or some of your favorite things that make you happy.
Lastly, lose the invite for women to contact you. We have to do all the work here and it's rare that women make first contact. | |
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| Just wanted some feed back
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:56:59 AM | Thanks for the feed back. I have some questions though. Please keep in mind I am not trying to argue. I actaully don't get some of the things you are saying.
First good point on the opening line. I will change "listening to anything I write" to "listening to any music I write" and that should make it clear.
You said profiles should be lacking in negativity can you point out what negative things are on my profile?
Lastly thanks for the pointing out the "keep up" line. I am seriously crazy at rock shows (jumping around and letting loose) and that is basically what I ment, so might as well write that. | |
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| Just wanted some feed back
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:04:12 PM | Until if and when you get more/better pics, use the third pic (you in a suit). Very nice.
List more interests. You can get more specific about the types of music you like (artists/genre, not 'live' altho you can include that). What about physical activities? Collecting? Cooking? Reading? Foods/wines? The thing is if you don't include information about things you enjoy, it is difficult to for someone to know what to say besides "Hello. How are you?" and we all hate that.
I agree with Lazlo that your comment about your music is awkward. How he wrote flows better and is understandable. I also agree you're giving out waaaay too much personal information. And it's good that you have aspirations and goals but your profile should be more about the here and now than what may or may not come to pass. | |
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| Just wanted some feed back
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:15:34 AM | Your profile is off to a good start, but needs more fleshing out.
Thirdguy--what is the reference? I hope it doesn't mean 3rd wheel. If so, change to a cheery one.
Music junkie is covered in your profile--is there a different aspect to your character, upbeat, you could put in your title to add nuance?
The profile pics seems faceless--you have no eyes. I do like the pics you have up, but need more that are more direct.
I normally don't like people starting with their name, but being hispanic, I bet its rather interesting-I'm ___. If you don't object to that.
You need 1 close up, eye contact relaxed smile--as if meeting someone in life to convey some warmth and rapport.
The torso shot shows you in a 3/4 turn--this makes people thinner, and you are already lean, so another body pic--straight shot will look better.
Interests field--input--local music, dancing, live music, chess,poker, scrabble,guitar, rock-its searchable, easier to read, put in more, it implies much about you concisely.
Independent movies, food,kind of comedy or humor, tv, authors, etc.--examples?Put in more shared music likes that are known, maybe shows you look forward to seeing with someone.
Fill in your type of woman, shared outings, etc. She needs to know if she should contact you, based on shared likes, activities, traits and what you seek, or she won't randomly msg you, even if she sees you're attractive.
Only after you've piqued her curiosity and she thinks mutual criteria are met, will she reply or msg you, so the more details the better.
1st date--surprises online--maybe better to give examples. | |
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| Just wanted some feed back
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:47:39 AM | | Quite honestly I'd get rid of the 3rd pic altogether... it makes you look slightly feminine. That's just the impression I get and maybe its because of the fact that I'm an artist and around a lot of "feminine" men... Other than that, I think everyone hit the other points. | |
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