| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:35:58 PM | Where I live there is close by an LDS church (Latter Day Saints - Mormon). They frequently knock in my area. I'm not rude, If I have time I invite them in drink and sit down and we have engaging conversations, about religion, philosophy, science and so on.
Yesterday had a conversation, the subject of pre-marital sex came up - LDS members believe in remaining pure and a virgin until you are married. Much like a number of religions and societies across the world do. I'd like an open discussion with everyone on the various aspects of sex before marriage.
How relevant in todays modern society is remaining a virgin until the wedding night?
Should you remain innocent?
Are religious teachings and guidance the only way of remaining innocent?
Certain religious sects particularly Christian, believe the the virginity of the daughter should be taken by the father, do they have the right?
If you could, would you go back and not have sex before marriage?
I'll leave it open
Kristian | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:41:19 PM | I'm not a believer, so it will come as no surprise to learn I never got married.
But I was with my ex for 27 years, and we had two great sons.
I have been having sex before marriage all my life!
What were people doing before these religious rituals were established?
Humankind has been evolving for about 6 million years!
PAH! Religion!
Edit: Who is supposed to have 'married' Adam & Eve?
-That's their story.... | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:41:37 PM |
Certain religious sects particularly Christian, believe the the virginity of the daughter should be taken by the father
Where the hell did you get that little piece of information?
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:44:00 PM | Sex after marriage might be more of an issue.
I'll be joining the church of born again virgins | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 12:49:48 PM | i must admit if i'd not been able to have sex with my partner prior to marriage,then i probably would'nt of married her.all the sex was pretty much the best thing about the relationship! i guess that explains why the marriage did'nt work.
i don't know if next time round i would do anything different,i can see why the principal of no sex before marriage was included in the bible,as it would prove that your love for your intended was'nt pretty much sex orientated as mine was.
i have to point out by the way that CHRISTIAN beliefs do in no way condone or encourage the taking of a daughters virginity by the father!! if thats a LDS belief then please do not associate them with christians as they are certainly not. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:03:25 PM | What about those ppl who don't want to get married?
Should they stay celibate forever? I don't think so!
Why should sex just be for married ppl anyway? us singles need to get out jollies too!
I'm of the opinion that you don't buy a pair of shoes without trying them on first! | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:06:00 PM |
i can see why the principal of no sex before marriage was included in the bible,as it would prove that your love for your intended was'nt pretty much sex orientated as mine was
As with most religious thou shalt/shalt not thingies it was more to do with preventing the spread of disease than any emotional proof of relationships. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:08:49 PM | Chance would be a fine thing! (heads of to dig out his best Bongo Mags for some "Self Harming")  | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:20:35 PM |
Sex after marriage might be more of an issue.
I'll be joining the church of born again virgins
i have not got a clue where that church would be.
I think there would be quite a few,wailing and waving there arms in the air.(don`t think it will be very. oh happy day)
no sex before marriage.not unless he was a lottory winner | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 1:40:36 PM | | lets think about this ... i presum most christian religions dont think divorce is a good idea? sooo what happens if you have gone out with a girl for say a year, marry her, get her in the sack and find out shes not very good in bed? same goes for women marrying men? would be well peed off if that was the only one i could shag ... is tinternet porn allowed? | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:01:38 PM | The taking of the daughters virginity by the father is definately not a LDS belief and no, they do not have the right!Innocence seems to be lost at an age these days that would never have even entered my head when i was that young!
There are still a lot of people around who choose to remain virgins till marriage.At least in that situation the guy cant accuse the woman of being crap in bed or vice versa as they would have no experience to go on lol. | |
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sjxx
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Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 12 | |
| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:14:50 PM | | Well if it wasnt for pre marital sex I would be a childless virgin with no bedroom skills whatsoever. I wish someone had told me about this before. I would be quite the catch now. Maybe I should have listened more closely to Sister Bernadette all those years ago. I am sure she mentioned something along these lines but I just thought she was bitter what with being married to God. I mean, how often was He home to sort her out? | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 4:07:05 PM | | i would never buy a pair of shoes before trying them on....and they only last a few months.....the thought of embarking on a life long relationship with someone without first making sure we are sexually compatible would be absolutely out of the question for me. They say marriage is made in heaven.......but most divorces are made in the bedroom. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 4:07:24 PM | How relevant in todays modern society is remaining a virgin until the wedding night?
Very with the rise of STI's in young adults and would be a very quick cure especially if the marriage had old values and lasted and monogamy wasn't such a dirty word. In practice with a world and media addicted to sex that to be a virgin is no longer something to be celebrated but more of a character and your a social leper.
Should you remain innocent?
I most certainly didn't so would be hypocritical of me to say others should but I would prefer the institution of marriage and monogamy made a reoccurrence.
Are religious teachings and guidance the only way of remaining innocent?
I think if the people of 60s and 70s could envisage the eroding of decency and morals towards sex that started with free love and women's lib I hope they would at least step back and think and about where it might end, hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don't think they religious teachings though teach no sex before marriage though in a way that would interest many people let alone teenagers. Having sex doesn't rob you of your innocence and I don't think people should wait till marriage either but more when they are in a committed relationship and sex is something they both want and want to share.
Certain religious sects particularly Christian, believe the the virginity of the daughter should be taken by the father, do they have the right?
I think you have missed the point here, there is a movement at the moment where the daughter marries the father in a fancy ball and it is a ceremony for the girl to confirm she is pure and for the father to ensure her chastity, is that what your on about?
If it is then my problem with it is that it is taken the choice away from the child and specifically daughter which is very sexist and not empowering them to make the right choice.
If you could, would you go back and not have sex before marriage?
No, as much as I have grown up and view sex differently to when I was trying to lay anything that moved with my minimal but significant, to me anyway, success my past experiences make me who I am today. If I could forget/erase the unfortunate sexual encounter in Sheffield with Claire then that would be good. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 5:48:46 PM |
If you could, would you go back and not have sex before marriage?
Not a chance! I had a taster or two of what the wedding night was going to be like
Saying that,i'm not religious so don't take any notice of what any of it says | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:02:03 PM | In the words of more than one female, its now called “Try before you buy”.
Cynical i know but it wasn’t my expression. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:06:23 PM | Sorry, Puddles, but the thing about no sex before marriage, in the bible and other religious codes, was not about the spread of disease. It was about PROPERTY and applied to women, the thinking being that if you married a woman who was not a virgin there was a chance that your property might go to another man's child, a child you thought was your own.
Most cultures and most religions are fine with the idea of men putting it about before, during and after marriage. It's the women who have to be kept locked up. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:20:36 PM | How relevant in todays modern society is remaining a virgin until the wedding night?
Stoopid fookin Question!
Fookin highly relevant... If anybody ever touches any of my daughters I'll castrate the fooker amd make him look like he had met with a rabid grey squirrel with a scrotal blood lust (having been "trained to attack micro-panis enabled little scrotes...!!" as default!")
Should they remain..Not- innocent?
Fookin too right..
Are religious teachings and guidance the only way of remaining innocent?
Certain religious sects particularly Christian, believe the the virginity of the daughter should be taken by the father, do they have the right?
If you could, would you go back and not have sex before marriage?
Sick...
Let it happen, no religion, no government, fookoff big pot... throw everything in, no claim out..
You work to pay tax... you don't work, you get payment on a plate... Change this and make people work for their portion of tax payers' income..
Balance things....... FFS! | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:13:21 PM | | you have got to be blooddy kidding me religiion eh?? who the blood fk cares have sex when u want wereever u want enough of thse bullshi.t made up rules u sadistic pri.cks:modhammer: | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:22:25 PM | How relevant in todays modern society is remaining a virgin until the wedding night?
I was having a similar discussion with an Asian friend last weekend, and according to her she knows a few Muslim women who will only have anal sex before the wedding night, as they believe this still makes them a virgin  .
It appears that a 'virgin' is no longer a virgin either. It reminds me of those who believe that give and/or receiving oral while in a relationship isn’t cheating  , what’s the world coming to?!
Should you remain innocent?
Children yes, but I am not sure why adults should deprive themselves of human instincts/behaviour/etc.
Are religious teachings and guidance the only way of remaining innocent?
In a word "No".
If you could, would you go back and not have sex before marriage?
No, why would I want to deprive myself of something that is generally good for my physical, mental and spiritual well-being? To me that would be insane... I love sex, it makes me feel good and I plan to have plenty more pre-marriage sex thanking you very much  . | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:27:58 AM |
How relevant in today’s modern society is remaining a virgin until the wedding night?
Didn’t modern society begin with Carl Djerassi in 1951? Women’s Libbers had nothing to do with it – they were just expressing the newly-possible moral code and “religious society” is still struggling to catch up.
Before 1951, marriage was the setting up of a committed union that sought its final fulfilment in having children. That is what distinguished it from sexual liaisons in prostitution, affairs or what we would now call FwB relationships. Sex within a marriage was open to the possibility of pregnancy and the consideration of that and the implications for the woman expressed the love and respect in the marriage. It meant that marriage was acknowledged as a bodily, as well as an emotional and spirtual unity. Its purpose was to procreate and raise children in a family with both a carer and a provider in an emotionally-stable family.
When Djerassi synthesised the oral contraceptive pill in 1951 he gave women an almost-surefire way to express marital love without the fear of procreation. Suddenly sex became a separate thing from procreation. Sex became a pleasure in its own right.
The next and entirely logical consequence was that marriage was no longer a union intended for the propogation of the species but simply a more-or-less stable emotional union accompanied by regular sex, a union that had lost its need to be either permanent or heterosexual. Children became a possibility, not a natural consequence.
The contraceptive pill separated sex from procreation, it separated marriage from procreation, and all the old mores became irrelevant. The modern society was born. It is, in my opinion, no longer relevant in this society to remain a virgin before one’s wedding night. In my opinion it is also not relevant to actually have a wedding night...
Are religious teachings and guidance the only way of remaining innocent?
Innocent? Is this used as a euphemism for “chaste” or for “lack of knowledge”?
Religious teachings to a true believer – i.e. one who actually follows all the tenets of their faith, not just those that suit them – should certainly preserve the sense of shame and guilt about having premarital sex. But on the other hand, one doesn’t have to have any religious belief at all to make the decision to remain a virgin until one’s marriage.
The only way to remain “innocent” surely is to have made the personal decision to abstain from sex until married and to have the personal strength to adhere to that decision, whether from Faith or not. In “today’s modern society” that may have certain consequences, and (I would argue) especially for a woman. But one consequence might be that a man who respected that decision and proposed to such a woman would have shown that he didn’t view the body of the woman as merely as a tool for his gratification or for providing an illusory experience of unity with her, but was prepared to enter into a marriage with a person to whom he was prepared to give his moral obligations, his responsibilities and his bodily respect.
If you could, would you go back and not have sex before marriage?
10 years ago, I would have said, “Yes”, as then I still had a Christian faith (albeit on its dying breath) and so guilt and shame were hidden deep within my psyche about “my past” and “what I would be happy for my children to find out”. Now? No. What I would go back and change is my suffering from an outdated moral code and find out how much fun it should have been without the guilt. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:23:11 AM | Its a very outdated view,
in its very roots, Religeon is a basic form of social control, people didn't know better sback over 3000 years, so because the couldn't expain things like shooting starts, thunder, etc, some bright spark thought for the better of humanity, lets make this creation to bring people in to stop all the madness and try to get things moving forward...
or they did it for a laugh.
The bible does not conform to alot of modern day beliefs, it is a very outdated belief system, and i find it hard to believe religeon full stop, science has been giving us much of the workaround, although theirs alot to be said for good ol fashioned faith,
sex before marriage? i'l have a big slice of that yeah. i'l take my chances with hell. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:40:28 AM |
Certain religious sects particularly Christian, believe the the virginity of the daughter should be taken by the father, do they have the right?
Where on earth did you get the facts for this piece of rubbish?
I was raised a Christian, went to church and Christian schools, and I can fully assure you there is no truth in that whatsoever! The Christian faith also does not condone pre-marital sex, incestuous or otherwise, that's why when we got sex-ed in high school teachers were not allowed to take condoms out of wrappers, because from the ethos of the school we would not need them (as we were meant to wait till married).
A statement like yours makes me sick to the stomach, if you want to start a serious discussion, make sure you get your facts right first.
Just because some weirdos start a sect saying they are acting on the word of God, and they have the right to take their daughter's virginity, it certainly does not mean that is the basic principle of Christianity. | |
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| pre-marital sex? your thoughts
Posted: 10/31/2009 4:09:35 AM | i think its a good thing..i love it..if i had a son id advice him to bonk as many birds as possible before he got hitched..cos after that,,its all down hill..but i would be a responsible dad and tell him to always wear a condom..them coloured ones with the spikes and bits on them..the women love em... | |
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