| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:34:22 PM | I remember back in university, I was very attracted to this girl...She definitely didn't find me attractive, I know it very well...Eventually I fall in love with her...As time goes by, my genuine interest somehow paid off and we dated for about 3 years...
In different occasions I noticed that....girls who didn't find me attractive become interested if I show my feelings...but there is a balance ....as I try not to become annoying...
I even tested this in a club many times...
Instead of checking out all the hotties, I concentrate on one girl and eventually she notice that...but I never give up...all night I try to get her attention and in almost all cases it works...Even though they ignore me at first, eventually they change their mind after...
So I was wondering if you girls give a chance to someone who shows real interet in you and show it in a very determinant way - ALTHOUGH you don't find him attractive?
cheers:) | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/30/2009 8:51:18 PM | Absolutely!
I mean... there are limits to this. You have to be somewhat attracted to him... and he can't be annoying... but yeah! It's a compliment. If a guy is ignoring other girls and is all about you... it makes you wonder. It makes the guy stand out from the crowd and makes the girl feel special.
One of the biggest turn-offs is a guy who hits on every girl in the bar. It stands to logic that a guy who only hits on you... is attractive.  | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:34:22 PM | well many girls try to play hard to get. They may very well be attracted to you but of course they don't want you to know that. They want you to work for their attention because it shows how bad you want them....they don't want to come off as easy to get.
But I personally, could not talk to anyone I was not the least bit attracted to, nor would I want to lead them on. For them to give you the time of day, there had to have been some sort of attraction all along.
This is what is called playing games!!! and frankly some women are really good at it. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:34:14 AM | Call me shallow but I have to find him attractive in some way, shape or form. (Be it any combination of looks, personality, his mind, character, etc ..) Attention from him alone does not cut it for me. Persistancy can turn into annoyance if there is there is no mutual interest.
This is kinda like another thread I came across in here that asked something along the line of: "If a person is genuinely nice would that win you over?" ... There has to be that spark of attraction, connection on both on physical and emotional levels. ... I've tried that road before where the guy was a genuinely nice person -- despite that, I did not feel any sparks, the conversations were boring, I just felt like I was hanging out with a nice friend -- not someone whom I wanted to get romantic with. I felt like I was just leading him on so I broke it off after a month. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:47:46 AM | Someone who is OVERLY aggressive does the opposite on me...it pushes me away more. It has some cases in my actual life....made me block the person from calling me again.
NO ONE needs to remind me of their existence esp if they are always in my face. It spells out controlling....as in " I know you don't like me but I WILL make you like me...whether you like it or not...".
It also depends how physically unappealing the guy is to me...I don't expect a model by any means....but if his face is below average looking and he doesn't take care of his body...it doesn't matter how nice he is or how much he tries....sex is obviously part of a relationship and I can't force myself to be in a relationship with someone who physically turns me off.
I have dated lots of men before who I wasn't that interested in at first but fell for after...but that was usually the case where they backed off and just became a friend . I do truly beleive that giving someone space works best....no pressure. After getting to know them better and having them grow on me...I did start to like them....but the main point here...was they were ALL at least somewhat physically attractive in my view. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:50:19 AM | | OP....are you the type of guy who'll badger someone until they have sex with you too? You're always around and finally the woman is just fed up enough to give in? And are you the kind of guy that guilt trips them in to staying? Threatening suicide if they leave? That's what it sounds like to me. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:22:23 AM |
I even tested this in a club many times...
Instead of checking out all the hotties, I concentrate on one girl and eventually she notice that...but I never give up...all night I try to get her attention and in almost all cases it works...Even though they ignore me at first, eventually they change their mind after...
Could the consumption of alcohol been a factor? 
Eventhough the 3 yr relationship you referred to worked, it didn't last forever, so how effective was it really?
To me, they have to have something that I'm attracted to. As some of the girls stated, if I can't picture myself naked with him, its never going to happen - no matter how much attention he pays me. He may end up being a great friend, but it will never turn into a relationship.
If someone at a club was to stare at me all night and I did not find him attractive - in some way - it would be just creepy! I'd probably walk right up to him and confront him.
HR  | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:33:09 AM | | Persistence can (and often does) very quickly turn into annoyance. If I tell a guy I'm not interested, but he keeps pursuing (persisting), he often becomes increasingly annoying to me and usually that obliterates any positive feelings I had for him. In other aspects of life, persistence very much pays off...but for me and matters of the heart, persistence and annoyance can be one and the same. If I'm not interested, I'm not interested and leave it at that. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:07:43 PM | | Hey that's funny. I am that girl!!! I would totally date a guy if he keeps showing his interest in me. I don't know, I like a guy who is persistent and confidence and if he is still pursuing me shows he thinks I'm worth the effort. If any man thinks I'm worth their time, then he is worth my time. But if he is being annoying and arrogant then that's a different story. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:23:40 PM |
I remember back in university, I was very attracted to this girl...She definitely didn't find me attractive, I know it very well...Eventually I fall in love with her...As time goes by, my genuine interest somehow paid off and we dated for about 3 years...
Paid off...interesting choice of words, usually indicates a pattern.
In different occasions I noticed that....girls who didn't find me attractive become interested if I show my feelings...but there is a balance ....as I try not to become annoying...
Alrighty.
I even tested this in a club many times...
Instead of checking out all the hotties, I concentrate on one girl and eventually she notice that...but I never give up...all night I try to get her attention and in almost all cases it works...Even though they ignore me at first, eventually they change their mind after...
I've never had a guy have to GET my attention if I thought he was cute. Those who try to get it aren't usually my type and have to jump and down in order to register as movement in my line of vision (but not much else).
So I was wondering if you girls give a chance to someone who shows real interet in you and show it in a very determinant way - ALTHOUGH you don't find him attractive?
Um, no. If I don't find him attractive, then I can't be interested in him romantically - the two things aren't really separate. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:28:51 PM |
I concentrate on one girl and eventually she notice that...but I never give up...all night I try to get her attention
So after she notices you, what the hell are you waiting for? If she has noticed in the sense of giving you some type of positive response, she does not find you UNattractive. Trust me, if you did this with someone who found you UNacttractive, she might "notice" you but it would be so brief and unencouraging, you would probably not notice she noticed.
Bottom line is, you are not necessarily proving anything. You could be just as successful if you approached her after making the 'initial contact.'
Girls will try to make it work with someone who seems sincerely interested, if he is a nice person, too. But 99 times out of 100, the simple lack of real chemistry (she doesn't feel it for you) will win out in the end and she'll have to move on. I think you are setting yourself up for heartbreak here, personally. Why not spend all that energy on finding someone who 'clicks' with you rather than trying to be successful where it's all uphill and unlikely to work?
If I'm not attracted, I can still be responsive. The difference? I'll initiate with you--even sexually. If she's not initiating anything, ever, then you have your answer. She likes you, she wants you to be the one, but you are not. Move on. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 6:34:54 PM | | I definitely agree with a guy laying his cards down palm up about how he feels about a girl can get her interested in dating him, but he has to be attractive to her at least a little bit for that to work. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:12:49 PM | most of you still looking for "attractiveness factor"... I always believe we all are shallow creatures but at the same time, I also believe we are not as shallow as we think we are...
"finding someone attractive" is a perception....
it can CHANGE...
When someone shows you interest, you will realize him/her, you will NOTICE...
You will notice the GOOD and positive things...
Eventually you slowly find him cute/attractive
even in some cases.. she/he will change your perception COMPLETELY...you may end up finding someone attractive who is completely opposite of your initial perception...
That also happened to me.... | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:27:45 PM | ^^^I think that's great if it works for you, or you meet others with the same experience...but not all people agree. I don't look for attractive, but naturally I respond to it.
Attraction can grow over time for me if it's sort of there in the beginning, but if it's not there at all, it won't suddently appear later on. Their personality may be great, but all that will do is make me wish I was attracted, to no avail.
A lot of people are pretty sure in the first couple minutes whether or not someone is their type - and no amount of extra time and attention will change it. Sorry. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:31:56 PM | What is the real issue here? You tested a theory in the clubs on a bunch of girls and tried it another time on just one girl as opposed to dating a girl for 3 years, and you came up with what?
Stand in one place too long and you grow roots. Keep thinking that you are not attractive and it will seem to you that when they look at you they feel the same way. You don't know unless you ask them. For this, you would need intestinal fortitude and your looks got nothing to do with it. | |
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| if a guy show you a true deep interest?
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:28:39 PM | Showing a real interest does make a difference, but not if it's creepy or unwanted attention. The fact that a guy shows interest and makes it clear demonstrates he's not afraid to go for what he wants. It also means you know where you stand with him and have a starting point to work from. He can seem 'deeper' than other men, as he's not sitting there talking about cars, gadgets or cricket. All this can come across badly though if he's unattractive, seems like a player, or is lacking intelligence. Then it just seems creepy.
It does expose a man to the risk of rejection, which I guess is why this kind of approach is more common amongst drunks. If the same feelings are expressed nicely though, and maybe with a touch of humour but no pressure, then the man can make a very positive impression. | |
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