| Profile Review Please
Posted: 10/31/2009 7:47:25 PM | Hi Guys
I'm new to all this online dating malarkey and am not sure if my profile is any good or not.
I've completely re-written it about 7 times in the last couple of weeks! I think I get it nailed, then look at it again a couple of days later and hate it.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks in advance.
Phil | |
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| Profile Review Please
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:44:27 PM | Hi, Phil - for the most part, I loved this profile. The opening line is a tough one for me, though.
My first thought as your imaginery potential viewer is "recently single" = open wounds, baggage, a lot of bitterness, possible reconciliation, rebound attachment issues..... train wreck. Is this a situation where there is a divorce pending? If it's a common-law situation, are you able to say unequivocally that there is no chance of reconciliation? (I saw one profile that said "NO chance of reconciling with my ex-wife, just ask her girlfriend".) This is probably not the case here, but you can see how that would prove a clean slate!
Otherwise - well done! | |
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| Profile Review Please
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:29:20 PM | You sound like a very nice person - - good touches - referring to loving your children.
I'm a bit unclear about your marital status....you say you are separated , which I assume means from a marriage. So what is this about a "long term relationship"?
You need to clarify your marital status. And, if you are truly separated from a wife, then, we females are all nervous and you need to give us info that makes us comfortable that it is worth our time to spend any time or energy on you. Separated usually means baggage and unresolved issues...plus, is the guy trying to get divorced or just in a semi-permanent separated status (which we also dislike)?
If you aren't separated as it relates to a marriage, then I would not say separated. Separated from a recent long term relationship doesn't have to be explained, just say your are single.
Of course, we also don't like men who never married their children's father, so if that is true, you need to make us comfortable about your moral character.
My goodness - - you opened a can of words with that word "separated"!
Spelling...."if you say your not interested!" should be you're.
This is a bit much: "I AM easy-going, funny (well I think so), caring, thoughtful, intelligent, loving, employed, low maintenance, good at cooking, friendly, good at making lists, just about damn near perfect actually. I could go on but I don't think I would be able to handle the influx of messages!"
You might think it is tongue in cheek, but it sounds marginally arrogant. Sorry - - I'm sure you aren't. So try to reduce your list of qualities and give us an examples or describe what you do, not just give us an adjective.
We women would prefer a guy who knows that the women portrayed in the movies are not real. And a decent guy wouldn't even try to compare a normal human woman to these actresses. So the sentence: "Well Angelina Jolie's lips, Penelope Cruz's eyes, Cameron Dias's cheeks and Kate Winslet's complexion would be nice." is demeaning. I know you didn't mean it that way but it makes me feel like you are going to compare me to them.
Gotta watch that humor - - you get yourself in trouble.
I'd like your one sentence modified like this: "I'd like to meet someone who wants to try new things with me and laugh with me, who will at least try to eat my cooking and to like my friends."
Hope this helps. | |
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| Profile Review Please
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:48:45 AM | Arrgh! My reply post just went missing! I hate it when that happens >:( Oh well I'll start again....
Thanks for your responses.
You've both hit upon the main concern that I still have with my profile, which is how to approach the status of my previous relationship in my profile.
I was (or rather still am) married, which is way I've put my status as 'separated'. We are not currently in the process of getting divorced, but this isn't because we're trying to work things out, we simply haven't had that conversation.
I'm finding it difficult to think of a way to express the finality of my marriage. There was no one event that caused us to split up that I can reference, we simply grew apart and lost that connection. It's all been very amicable and we remain good friends. She will always be a part of my life and I will always love her, just not in that way.
Can you offer any suggestions as to how to express this in my profile in a positive way that won't scare off potential dates?
GMiller1954:
Thanks for pointing out the typo. I'm usually quite critical of other people's grammar and hate it when I get something wrong myself. I'll go get a slice of humble pie!
As for the humour, I've already received initial contact from women referencing the 'damn near perfect' line, who clearly catch the sarcasm. I'm not sure if this is one of those fabled differences in English and Amercian humour (I don't buy into the whole 'Americans don't get sarcasm' opinion that many English people hold), so I'm happy to leave it as it is for the moment and revisit it in the future if necessary.
I'm definitely not arrogant, quite the opposite really. You couldn't hope to meet a more modest and self-deprecating person than myself (is that a bit of an oxymoron?). As you suggest, it's definitely tongue in cheek.
I do however like your rewrite of my sentence and I will be incorporating that into my profile. I think the way I had it before could come accross as sour grapes and I'm not sure it wasn't.
Again, thanks for your replies and suggestions.
Phil. | |
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| Profile Review Please
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:54:00 AM | Nooooo! There were two more typos in that post! I know you're American, not Amercian! And I managed to somehow put too many c's in across!
How many calories does a slice of humble pie have? I'm going to have to work extra hard at the gym this week!
Doh! | |
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