| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 8:54:50 PM | What could be the implication/reasons behind? It makes me wonder if the person who does it:
- has not moved on?
- feels s/he is STILL married in the eyes of the Catholic church?
- just wants to appear unavailable to certain people?
- for the sake of the children?
Inquiring mind wants to know ...  | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:08:53 PM | | As Freud once said, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Why do you feel the need to draw meaning from something that may either be meaningless, or if not, it clearly isn't something you or any of us here can determine what its meaning is. | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:16:58 PM | Well for me - NONE OF THE ABOVE.
I wear mine because it's jewelry and it's my jewelry and I like jewelry and nobody is gonna make me remove it.
I didn't wear a wedding band for the first 5 years of my marriage because I didn't wear any jewelry at all. Then I started wearing it I just didn't take it off - partially because I lost a necklace that was given to me at 17 by a lover and I sooo angry. So when I started finally wearing my rings, I didn't take them off and have been wearing them ever since. It's the only gold and diamond jewelry I have and the only jewelry I wear constantly.
What would I do with it if I did? Give it back? Pawn it?
I am not giving it back.
I don't need to pawn it right now.
I even took my husband's ring back after he said he would pawn it after the divorce. I wear that one too. I actually have 3 wedding rings I wear. I would have had 4 but I lost one.
My rings are mine. I actually bought it (we winded up buying our own rings because we got into a fight about the kinds of rings we wanted to buy each other. But we did exchange them at the wedding).
I don't have a problem with divorced men wearing their wedding bangs because I wear mine - and I can't get mad at somebody for doing something when I do the same thing. Ofcouse I will ask him why he wearing his ring if he is divorced, but if his answer is satisfactory to me - I don't mind him wearing it.
I always ask divorce men what did they do with their rings since I no longer see them on their finger. Many of them say they 'got rid of it' because they were so dam happy to be away from their former spouses. They say it was a hard bitter relationship and a hard bitter divorce and they didn't want anything to remind them of it. A few said they removed it because they thought they were suppose to remove it after a divorce. They didn't want people to question or think they were still married. A guy still wearing his wedding ring might mean that his divorce was amicable and he still likes the ring he was given - and he wears it as apart of the overall jewelry he has. | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:21:08 PM | This person is my former coworker. Once we went for a drink together with another colleague, and he told me out of the blue he has been divorced for 10 years and this other colleague is aware of that too. I think I did ask why he is still wearing the ring and yet I forgot what he said. 
No problem of me asking him next time we hang out but the same question just comes across my mind again this morning. Okay I am a bit bored so I thought I'd open a thread which has not been done to death.  | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:26:10 PM |
Okay I am a bit bored so I thought I'd open a thread which has not been done to death. I don't think that's possible. I have been on here.. what? About a month? Less than maybe? And I have answered a question like this or similar twice.
Well maybe that's not so bad. I have seen some questions and gripes posted about 3-6 times since I been on here - maybe that's 'being done to death.'
Always appreciate a good discussion tho. | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 9:31:07 PM | I don't think that's possible. I have been on here.. what? About a month? Less than maybe? And I have answered a question like this or similar twice.
Oh really? I did use the search function and only one thread popped up ...
Anyway, it's always interesting to hear what other people have got to say and to be honest I am for one who doesn't really mind similar threads being done to death. The truth is, people come and go in this forum, and that means we might get some insights from someone new every now and then. | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:01:27 PM | "Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity..."
Nope. Not just a ring or another piece of jewelry. It is a sign of some other person's love and fidelity (even if that love and fidelity were useless...). Would I date a man that insisted on wearing a sign of someone else's love and fidelity? Faggetaboutit!
Now... I do understand that some business people like to wear a 'fake' wedding ring so that they appear more stable. It is actually quite common. A single might also want to wear a ring to appear less available, etc, etc. That's cool. He can wear a ring. Just not THAT ring. He can also keep other pieces of jewelery given to him by women. Just not that one.
It could mean any one of the reasons you mentionned... it could mean that he did not take his vows seriously (and take the ring as a sign of...)... or it could mean a whole lot of nothing. Either way, though, it would not be acceptable to me.
To each their own... | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:30:22 PM | From the rules/FAQs area:
Redundant Thread noun, (discussion board term)
1. It means there are already very similar or identical Threads on the same Topic or Subject Matter in Existence. Each Poster should use the Site's "Search" Feature first to locate a Thread about the Topic of Interest to them, before creating a New Thread. | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:37:49 PM | Redundant Thread noun, (discussion board term)
1. It means there are already very similar or identical Threads on the same Topic or Subject Matter in Existence. Each Poster should use the Site's "Search" Feature first to locate a Thread about the Topic of Interest to them, before creating a New Thread
I like what she said about this....
it's always interesting to hear what other people have got to say and.. I am for one who doesn't really mind similar threads being done to death. The truth is, people come and go in this forum, and that means we might get some insights from someone new every now and then.
Nope. Not just a ring or another piece of jewelry. It is a sign of some other person's love and fidelity... Would I date a man that insisted on wearing a sign of someone else's love and fidelity? Faggetaboutit!
... He can wear a ring. Just not THAT ring. He can also keep other pieces of jewelery given to him by women. Just not that one.
meh.
Clear sign that you have never been married. I haven't read your profile yet but I'll bet that I'm right. | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:44:28 PM |
What could be the implication/reasons behind? It makes me wonder if the person who does it:
- has not moved on?
- feels s/he is STILL married in the eyes of the Catholic church?
- just wants to appear unavailable to certain people?
- for the sake of the children?
Easier to pick up chicks at the bar. They see the wedding ring and realize, "Hey! This dude's into commitment! Just what I'm looking for!" On the other hand, it works for women from the point of view that dude's see the wedding ring and think, "Hey! This chick's in an unhappy marriage! Easy score for the night!" | |
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TBLZ
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Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 15 | |
| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:24:20 AM |
I wear mine because it's jewelry and it's my jewelry and I like jewelry and nobody is gonna make me remove it.
I didn't wear a wedding band for the first 5 years of my marriage because I didn't wear any jewelry at all. Then I started wearing it I just didn't take it off - partially because I lost a necklace that was given to me at 17 by a lover and I sooo angry. So when I started finally wearing my rings, I didn't take them off and have been wearing them ever since. It's the only gold and diamond jewelry I have and the only jewelry I wear constantly.
Nappykat...That's really insightful...I've just really learned to pay attention to the rings and still I don't as I should. I don't look because I just assume if you are married you will do the right thing....(I know better now) and not try to hit on someone.
But anywho, I'm always caught off guard when people approach me about my deceased aunt's simple gold wedding band I wear on my thumb. They assume I'm married and don't want anyone to know. It just means a lot to me and I never take it off... | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:55:05 AM | I wore my engagement ring for a while but on the middle finger or on the right fingersother hand as a jewellery. Everyone loved my rock...but after a while when I look at it my ring reminds me of my ex.
However, a man wearing his ring on his wedding finger for whatever reason...I will say bye bye to him. | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:05:37 AM | Now... I do understand that some business people like to wear a 'fake' wedding ring so that they appear more stable. It is actually quite common.
I find this 'trend' for some singles in the business world choose to wear a fake wedding ring quite interesting. Now you remind me that a friend recently told me about his colleague (never married) wearing it just to appear more stable and trustworthy too.
Hmm now that X'mas is coming, makes me wonder if I should get myself a nice 'business ring' too. | |
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| Divorced for 10 years and still wearing the wedding band
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:07:13 AM | | Proving once again, that meanings are man-made. The fact that they're wearing a ring means that they're wearing a ring. If "she" wears a wedding ring, I have no interest. If she's not really married, I'll never know. My own man-made meaning is that she's hitched, and I have no interest in the compexities... | |
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