| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:03:00 PM | Hey... I was perusing the Who's Online in my City option here on POF....and I found a heading called Marriage........................so I took a looksie!
and...........OMG.............they list the eligible men here on POF....who have listed Want to Get Married on their Chemistry Test.
I found this fascinating and very very helpful. More of who to avoid I think..but ..no...seriously it was informative cos...well I read some of their profiles...checked out their stats.... I have noticed a pattern with these men... a lot of them are single...never been married....mid 40s...give or take...don't have children......AND....AND...are looking for a woman to have kids with...as in make a baby together...not just stepkids option.
wow!... this is helpful. I mean... lots of other men on this list that are not so specific as to the babymaking thing....and well some of us are past that age you know.
I guess we know now who is looking for a fertile healthy woman... a YOUNG WOMAN.
POST NOTE*** I am sure men who log in to this will be able to view the single women who are also looking for the same. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:38:36 PM | I've never looked at that feature, I'll have to go do it now.
edit: is it just the advanced search, or is there a different link?
edit again: oooh, doi. i see it.
That's kind of a cool search. I also did the chemistry profile. According to that i have little self control and don't see the practicality in the arts. lol
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:56:27 PM | When I am viewing the Inbox page of my profile I see "New Marriage Search!!!"
It uses the same age criteria I set in "My Matches" (a feature of no value to me).
Users shown below are users who feel it is important to get married soon. Its one of the questions on the chemistry test.
I chose physics and biology so didn't take the chemistry test. That probably explains why there are no women shown in the Marriage search results, or maybe they flunked the chemistry test?
Anyway, now that I've seen it I doubt I'll be compelled to click that link again.
Good luck y'all. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:25:51 AM | | Ummmm,,,,should we be allowed to swear first thing on a Sunday morning???? I would appreciate if we don't use THAT word,,,,or at least keep it to a minimum!!!!! I gotta go now,,,,my ears are burning. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:48:12 AM | ah, come on. it's not such a big deal! i'll never do it again but some people get it right...let's not be jaded ("a cold day in hell i'll tell you before i EVER walk down some aisle like a cow to the slaughter...) it'll be ok just send me an invite i'll bring you new towels for free champagne any old time...
The PMS "Hmph!" Poster  | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:47:56 AM | | i'll never walk down an isle myself. dumbest tradition if u ask me. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:46:48 AM |  ....ya...with the Right person.. I might consider it....lol!
new towels and champagne sound mighty nice too!
I wasn't avoiding the guys who want Marriage... I would be avoiding the ones who want to get married to breed....the ones with no kids whose biological clocks are ticking and they need to carry on the family name.
ya...the ones that are not accepting of perfectly nice stepchildren...they want to make their own kids.
Marriage is a nice thing...if it works.
as for the babymaking thing...well those days are no longer for me. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:24:18 AM | I don't see it for me. I am not from a family that put great store in certain traditions, and shied away from big public ceremonies. Getting married the first time, and going through all that 'have to' stuff, in many ways spoiled the 'grand moment' for me.
I wouldn't go through that huge Wedding headache again. Marriage? I don't see the need to be censored in that way, at my age. All that hoopla would not confirm or instill a greater degree of commitment from me. I would bring that commitment by choice. I would respect my partners wishes and try to find a middle ground though. Would skip the 'ring thing' for sure   | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:53:23 PM | | Its all information as far as that goes. When I looked at the profiles that were presented in the online 'mycity' feature, most were in their mid 30s. Not an age group that concerns me. Those in their late 40s, early 50s stated their kids were over 18 already. Nothing too much surprising. There were a couple in the 50s, no kids, but didn't state in their profile writeup if they desired them or not....I guess I would assume not. Unless they were asking to be contacted by much younger women, in which case they don't interest me either. As a function I have no objection to it at all. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:19:00 PM | If heart and mind of two lovers aren't strong enough to work the RELATIONSHIP
all the blessings or certificates in the world won't help either
in which case it ends up (often) a pretty expensive party for others
and should things not work out one extra step to take care of...
nice and romantic idea though | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:33:51 PM | I took a quick peak at it and think that it is actually quite funny.
Apparently there are approximately 127 guys in a 5 mile radius from me who want to get married.
Two of the gentleman that were pictured I know and can tell you factually that they are "players". The last thing on their minds is marriage. So I don't really know if this is really a true and accurate gauge.
I just hope the h*e*ll I am not on that search, as I am not really interested in marriage.
A long term monogamous committed relationship is fine, but after ending a 23 yr marriage I don't see the need or have the desire to do it again. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:05:21 PM | I very rarely browse profiles or check out the 'viewed me' guys unless someone contacts me directly or adds me to their faves. But I went hunting for that marriage search thingy & checked it out. WWR, you are so right about most of the marriage-minded men on there wanting to make babies. POF should create a separate marriage search for those seeking a permanent commitment but who are all done with baby-making.
A poffer friend is 60 & just married a 38 yr old 'cause he wants to start making more babies. Oy vey!!! Who's got the energy to start raising kids all over again at that age! This is the time for grandchildren 'cause you get to play with them then give them back when their diapers are poopy or when they've drained every ounce of your energy.
Looking back, I realize that I've always been happiest when in a committed long-term relationship. I'm not in any rush to get married a.s.a.p. but I don't want to spend the rest of my life doing the superficial casual dating thing either. There are an awful lot of long-term or marriage-minded guys who are players underneath those words & the guys who initially appeared to be the right ones have had serious addictions that they didn't disclose.
I'm still hanging onto the hope that there's one out there for me, maybe on POF, maybe not. I would like to settle down with someone to enjoy this era of life with, then age gracefully together 'til death do us part & all that silly romantic mush. 
How does POF determine whether you are "marriage-minded" or not anyway? Has anyone seen me on the marriage-minded searches? Curious to know if I'm on there or not. Hmm ..... | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:19:28 PM | | WWR said that it would come up if you had answered that you were interested in marriage, while taking your Chemistry test. If you did not take the test, then I would assume, you wouldn't be included in their stats. But perhaps someone knows more about the actually test. I don't recall that married question, although there must have been a reference ?? | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/4/2009 11:57:59 AM | What city do you live in? I looked and there was not one man listed. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:12:01 PM |
What city do you live in?
You can click the link any poster's profile, which appears below their username, to the left of the post and on their profile can see what city the user lives in (unless they are being vague with that information).
Note: If the profile is hidden you have to be logged in on your mail/profile side to view it.
Anyway, it seems moot now for the Marriage Search link no longer appears below my Inbox, and has been replaced with a link "Local events", which I think is more useful to the majority of users.
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EDIT
VVVV Gourmand
Good catch! The link has only been moved. You can also get to the same list of choices by clicking "SEARCH" from the top row of links above your Inbox. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/4/2009 12:24:36 PM | | FF: I'm in the lower mainland. I just checked and its still there if you access: MyMatches and then at the bottom of the page click, mycity, and then you should be able to see Marriage at the top of the page :) | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:24:56 PM | | I wish I could remember what questions I was asked about marriage in which quiz; then I might have some idea if this is reliable. If it's just catching people who are "interested" in marriage, that's not much use. On the other hand, if they all clearly and unmistakably answered something like "yes it's important to me to be married, as soon as possible" then I very definitely would like to know about it (so I can avoid those people)! | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:39:00 PM | single...never been married....mid 40s...give or take...don't have children......AND....AND...are looking for a woman to have kids with...as in make a baby together...not just stepkids option........I guess we know now who is looking for a fertile healthy woman... a YOUNG WOMAN.
^^
may I add ...
when this type of man can not find a young childless woman who isn't a chalk on a blackboard and is truly interested in him for other than money, he "settles" for a single mother who is on top of his "I'm settling" list
There is a rather noticeable number of this group of men.. I'm noticing it!
I think it's because they have partied in their 20's, worked to build a future in their 30's so they are left in their 40's ready to build a family
however... the single childless never married male friends I've talked to feels they've waited too long.
I've heard them talk of pain, hurt and sadness to point of depression.
So...like I mentioned above, they settle.
Now.. as for marriage..I can be honest enough to say I do dream of marriage.
I also believe I am not 1st , 2nd or 3rd of any kind list. I am not 'settle' material.
Because I know my own worth, I am the best wife, friend and lover for the man who realizes this about me. So I won't going down any aisle with just any man, anytime soon. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/4/2009 5:32:45 PM | ^^^^^^ You've just explained the reasoning for me actually thanking my ex for going off the pill (without telling me) and giving me the best gift I could ever receive from anyone. At the time it was something that her and her "friends" thought was just a great idea. The ex was scared crapless when she found out she was preggy,,,and wouldn't tell me for a month. I knew wayyyyy before she opened her mouth,,,but I waited for her to spill the beans. Gave her the biggest hug of my life when she did tell me,,,which mind boggled her.Today,,,,her friends are the ones whining,,,,and me,,,,happiest(and proudest) man in the world.
I know a few men my age that look back with many a regret,,,,all for the reasons Tigger stated. One of their downfalls thou (and their partners) was THAT word Marriage. | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/4/2009 6:35:00 PM | One of their downfalls thou (and their partners) was THAT word Marriage.
dunno Walts if that is all there is to it, mind you each is different in their own private ways
I never wanted kids or marriage, but immigrating and sponsoring my then fiancee CDN immigration insisted on marriage....well, not a big deal the heart was in it for both of us then and no kids was the deal.
About ten years later the I want to have kids issue came up cuz all the girlfriends were pregnant, marriage was at its very best and all other stuff too. Took me six month to think and we made a private covenant, if there are to be children then we will stick it out come hell or high water until they are grown up....with that additional "peace of mind" we had two sons.... and five years later I was a single dad.... she took the loot...lol
Those tough early years created an incredible bond between my boys and me and it still holds unchanged....so the real"treasure" I think I got...
Like I mentioned in previous post marriage or not, if the heart isn't in it and only one looses interest or integrity the relationship is doomed.
Unlike our friend Tigger I won't say I'm the best guy there is, I have my vices and expect another to have theirs, but I do know this, when I commit to do something I will do it, with or without a contract and to change that commitment would take some pretty serious stuff that cannot be worked out.
But I also think it is different when one is at the beginning of life or when one is in the last half of it when I think good companionship is more important, cuz one has dealt with all the silly issues life throws
whatever works y'all | |
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| The M Word - Marriage
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:41:40 AM | Here's the link:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/marriage.aspx
And a lot of those photos I've seen before, yes every one of them has "want children" set to yes.
Though marriage may mean different things to different people. Some may want the very-expensive-in-a-church-wedding, gifts, throwing rice and stuff and others may simply want to sign some paperwork as a formality and otherwise live together to get the benefits that a legal marriage allows for, that singles do not get. | |
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