| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:27:24 AM | As I have said previously I dont get that many offers of dates/meets these days so when it happens I get rather excited. But then the suggestions arrive...coffee at mine/meal at his/walk somwhere quiet. Whats the deal here? I am all for meeting breifly for a coffee somwhere first and that makes prefect sence. But to suggest coming to my home or walking somwhere secluded smacks of a casuel sexuel encounter to me. There are plenty of "adult" sites around with people of that persuasion why come onto a dateing site and bother me!
I have been accused of only wanting to meet to have money spent on me, which is ridiculous coz I'd buy my own sodding coffee thanks or accused of being old fashioned and being told that NO ONE dates like that anymore. Well this no one dates like that, well I would given half a chance!
Please tell me people I am not the only one who wants to date somone how we used to?
Or is it only my generation that has a fixation on wanting a "proper" relationship?
 | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:34:09 AM | Walking around suggests sex to you?
Going for a coffee is a good icebreaker i think, and a walk and a chats ok too. | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:35:52 AM | I think its totally unacceptable for a man met from a dating site to expect to come to your home for a first meet or for you to go to his, woman must always put their safety first, not doing so is just stupidity.
So no your not alone i wouldnt entertain that either. | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:51:46 AM | Of course a stroll on a nice pleasant summer evening or a relaxed weekend can be very nice and would be very enjoyable way to get to kno somone but when somone suggests a walk in the dead of night at this time of year when it could possibly be raining and/or blowing a gail, it isnt exactly the kind of date/meet I would like. I kindly pointed out the pitfalls of this kind of walk and the fella said it would be ok he would bring a flask of coffee to drink in the car instead then!
Sorry it just isnt working for me | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:52:14 AM | Absolutely agree on the safety issues, a man who suggests meeting somewhere secluded or visiting one another's homes is either up to no good, or just clueless and inconsiderate.
I don't consider these ideas any less mundane than the good old coffee shop meet, so what's the big problem?
Probably more annoying are the ones that you think are ok to begin with, and then very quickly things decline and you see the signs that they don't want to bother dating you, they're hoping they can skip that bit and move straight to booty call. Why they think we'd be more fooled after a couple of decent dates I don't know, its just wasted both our time and got our hopes up for nothing. | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:59:53 AM | sitting in the car with a flask ? his either a bloody loon or a right tight arse.
your/womens safety comes first so got to be a public meet. | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:05:15 AM | I want to be met at a nice bar, somewhere public and safe but nice, I want the guy to suggest it, I want to have the door opened for me and the first drink bought for me, I want him to be dressed up, nicely shaven and aftershave on. I want him to ask things about me.
I get suggestions that we meet at his place or mine, I get suggestions we meet in carparks or in one case a caravan sales venue, I get can you pick me up so I can have a drink, I offered to go somewhere fairly far away because if we go out local the wifes best mate might see us.
One day it might change.................
sighs | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:09:18 AM | When I first started online dating I was very naive, one incident has made it very clear just how dangerous this dating lark can be.
We met in a pub and had a drink ( me an orange juice cos I was driving), we chatted and got on well, the last bell rang and I said it was time for me to leave, he said he'd see me to my car ( still no alarm bells) .......I had parked my car in the car park with no thought to the fact it was not a well lit car park........ it was cold and so I opened my car to get in, as I opened the door he pushed me in and was trying to rape me, I screamed but no one came to help, I managed to kick out and caught him in the right place ( his genitals) scrambled in the car and locked the door, got my keys in the ignition and just drove hell for leather.......since then I take no chances.
Please tell me people I am not the only one who wants to date somone how we used to?
Or is it only my generation that has a fixation on wanting a "proper" relationship?
No OP you're not alone in wanting this, and I'm sure by eliminating the dross you will eventually find the one right for you, don't accept second best and don't give up hope..........I know many people that have met and married people they have met online so it does work.
 | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:11:26 AM | the 1 and only meet ive had from here was in a public bar, i was actualy the 1 asked for the meet, i shaved,put on issey miyake ,nice new shirt, polished italian shoes. acted the complete gent. paid for the drinks. but got a complete fook off at the end of the evening  sod it next meet i get(wont hold me breathe) im going a scruffy sod 
edit...posted this before i had read the above post, sorry to hear that happened to you. | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:21:42 AM | Angeldelight,
just wanted to say well done for coming out of that without letting it stop you using POF. I'm sure you're a bit more cautious now, and that's only sensible, but lots of people would have shut themselves away andallowed an irrational level of fear in to their lives so I admire your courage. | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:39:31 AM | Thanks SS , I was a very lucky lady I know, he wasn't off POF ,he was off the site that is advertising 1000's of extra men/ women needed (rhymes with patch) ............ but I will not let one bad experience cloud my judgment, not all men are @rseholes.
Off topic slightly.......do you avoid men that say they are looking for "fun" ......I think a mans interpretation of "fun" and a womans are hugely different, my perception of a mans "fun" is $ex whereas a womans is going to a comedy club or having a laugh, or maybe I'm just a fruitcake ? ( don't answer that )
| |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:05:39 AM | | It works both ways Hunnibelle, women accuse men of only wanting s*x and men accuse women of only wanting them for their money. It's all instinctive thoughts we can't control, all male species spend their lives wanting s*x and the female expects them to provide "to put food on the table." So when you go out at night into all the cities, you only ever see female prostitutes, because men want s*x and women want to be provided with the money, so everyone's a winner | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:35:11 AM | | a date to me is going for a drink, a meal, to the cinema etc ........not a walk or a visit to my/his house.......that's what you do once you have got past the "dating" stage. | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:21:38 AM | | From the things iv been told by men from this site the woman are just as bad as the guys are made out to me, iv been told many times that guys have gone to a womans house to pick her up for a first date only to have the offer of stopping in instead of going out with sex on offer too | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:32:03 AM | call me old fashioned but a date isent meeting up at his /her home
a quick cup of coffee in a cafe for a first meet is as far as i will go
if theres a spark then i would agree to meet up for a drink at a later time | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:41:32 AM | I recommend fresh Medjool dates, sweet, suculent, yummmm.
Ah! got the wrong idea.
Suppose thats because they are the only type I get these days. | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:20:25 AM | I will stick to group meets....
Reading the above and my own past experiences put me off seeing anyone on a one to one basis full stop | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:30:07 AM | To me a 1st date is coffee in Costa or Starbucks or somewhere like that.With both of the women i have met from here that's where we went.I didnt see the first one again as we didnt really click.
The second one went on to several more dates,Costa and then a restaurant,a band and 7 weeks later all is going well | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 10:09:27 AM | nope your not the only one who wants a normal date, a in the way it used to be LOL I have had people meet at my house but usually people ive known a long time so more friends, but wont do it again as ive moved now.
It has always been in the daytime, plus I do have a very big dog , take your chances pal haha
but no I wouldnt either and defintley wouldnt go to a guys house no way, to be fair though doesnt mean something cant happen on the 2 nd or third date , this site and others are full of what they call groomers , be careful everyone boys and girls  | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 10:19:58 AM | | Oh dont worry I got called a "pathetic bint" because i would not snog his face off... sorry but if I am going to swap secretions with another human being I would at least like to know them a bit more. Call me old fashioned but i believe all good things come to those who wait. | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 10:39:31 AM | | As others say - if they want to go to your house then your alarm bells should ring | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 10:56:58 AM |
Please tell me people I am not the only one who wants to date somone how we used to? Or is it only my generation that has a fixation on wanting a "proper" relationship?
You're not old-fashioned at all Hunni, I think most of the girlfriends I've made on POF (at meets) think the same way too. Yes, we'd rather have a quick initial meet to see if there's anything there before doing anything which might be potentially embarrassing if it lasted a long time and we weren't comfortable - like eating a meal, for example, or going to a show or a concert or something else I'd class as a 'proper date'!!!
But guys I've dated since I've been single seem to be more interested in coming to mine or me going to their place, I agree. The first one I ever dated, on the second date cooked me a fabulous meal at his place; he was a policeman and showed me his warrant card so I knew he really was ... sadly that one just fizzled out, he worked a lot (story of my life!)  | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:23:40 AM | I hear you on the work alot glider girl , I tend to get that too also if they have kids they see at weekends which is great, but I do always wonder were we actaully fit in, its like part time, my son is grown up so Ihave the freedom and want to be with someone who has the time to put in and hopefully get something out of it
I dont mean everyday but just a normal pace I guess | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:30:40 AM | Stating the obvious here I know, as with most things it varies with the people involved.
I have had my first and only date on PoF this afternoon, which consisted of picking her up from her house, driving to macdonald's, getting coffee and nuggets, eating them on the common, in the car, in the wind and rain, then tesco's for some shopping, then took her back home. A hug and a kiss, and I was off.
I know how to show a girl a good time eh?
Most excellent!!
But we have spent a long time talking on the phone (many hours), and we kind of knew each other to an extent, and knew what common ground we shared etc.
I think a first date should be something ordinary like that. It's really a check to see if the spark we thought we have, is really there.
I would thoroughly recommend a date at tesco's.
I wouldn't bother to date someone I didn't know already,
and men who do want intimacy too quickly, may just be looking for that.
And there are probably women who are willing, but surely you can establish who wants what before you meet?
Isn't that what the messaging and phone calls are for first?
I can't see the point in completely 'blind' dates....?
 | |
|
| Proper dates please
Posted: 11/1/2009 12:00:30 PM | Hmmm Now each to their own as they say and I am glad the above date went well if indeed date is the correct word. But I cant agree that mundane a thing as shopping should be high on the criteria of a date. Or were you joking? The kind of date you discribe would be somthing I would expect to do with an old mate, a chum or even a girlfriend not a potential lover. I dont want my first date to be "ordinary"! Ordinary comes with time theres plenty of time for ordinary. At the begining of a relationship it should be exciting,heart beating faster kind of thing shouldnt it?
I am sure most of us try and establish what we want before we meet somone but to be frank people lie. They hope that they can persuede or charm their way into womens knickers basicly and yes some actually do manage it. So in conclusion guys if you wanna ask hunni out dont make it tesco's ! | |
|
Home
login 
