| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:30:07 AM | I've recently changed my profile, which funnily enough has generated far more mail than my old "real" one ever did.......most are from men (and the occassional woman) who just pop in to say how much it made them laugh, conversation strikes up and low and behold a new bud of friendship starts to grow.
However, there are quite a few men who feel compelled to mail me to say that my profile will not attract a man ....or that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and that no matter how ugly/fat I am there will be someone out there who will love me........LOL aw bless.....they just really don't get it do they?
So my question is............just how serious do you take this site? Is your profile finely honed to attract just the right type of person for you? Do you perfect it meticulously to show yourself in your best light............or are you just here for the crack? | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:45:49 AM | When I first started useing POF I did nievly think that I would actualy find somone to date quite easily but since finding that not to be the case I have been quite serious about acheiving my initial goal ( to find and keep a loving partner).
However you cant allow your whole life to revovle around it. So yeah I take this site quite seriously otherwise what a waste of time it would be? And I try to keep my profile upbeat and true to me as I possibly can. So no I dont treat it as a joke atall.
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:17:24 AM | You cant please all the people all the time, what one finds amusing the other doesnt.
I simply please myself and try not to offend people along the way, that way also if people "get" you they tend to be the kind of people that you are more likely to get along with anyway. | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:33:59 AM | | I really dont care if no one likes my profile. They dont have to look at it. I made very little effort with it and people still mail me and say 'I like your profile' lol. I think they just say what they think you want to hear, | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:34:25 AM |
Love your first date idea and if a guy can't see you're having some fun with it, would you want him anyway?
exactly !
What I find amusing is the fact that they have the audacity to think they can give out dating advise in the first place......lol........if any of us had the perfect profile, to meet the perfect partner.....would we be here in the first place? Surely for most of them who have been around a while it would have worked by now? | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:39:23 AM | My profile is just meant to be honest with a bit of humour but I guess that is easy since I am not actually looking for anyone just now. If I don't attract anyone then that's fine by me - trouble is, since I have made it clear I am not interested - I get more mails than ever aaaagh.
I guess once I get to where I am going (wherever that is) my profile will change again, but not by much. I like to make sure my spelling is correct and my grammer is reasonable, bit of humour that most guys miss (cos they don't actually read profiles).
In the meantime, I am quite happy to get the compliments from little boys to over the hill men and all those inbetween. I don't look for them but if they get sent then that's fine by me.
If guys are messaging you to say you shouldn't be so hard on yourself maybe they are just trying to get talking because they are actually interested in you. | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:06:11 AM | Ignore those who ridicule, insult or just plain do not 'get it' - whether 'it' is your profile, you yourself or Life.
Most people do not get Life - hence why they/we are destined to keep on coming back until we stop making the same old mistakes.
I have had the most boring, occasionally insulting and downright stupid replies to my profile - most just do not 'get it'. However, I have had a handful of ladies/women/girls/men with curvy bits* (delete as appropriate) message me having totally understood where I am coming from and, as a result, I have had some fascinating, funny and enjoyable conversations.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a great book called 'Life Lessons - How Our Mortality Can Teach Us About Living' which I personally think everyone could benefit from reading and learning from.
You know, in the last episode of M*A*S*H the shrink character's final words, as he was leaving the 4077th, were "Every now and then drop your pants and slide on the ice!". Wise words.
Ignore those who 'have a go' at you. They are only trying to bully to cover up their own internal conflicts, rage or insecurities. | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:09:46 AM | | i personally couldnt give two shytes about the profile, as people never read it and if they do they only get the hump. not many have a sense of humour on the site, they just want to chat shyte for hours and for you to entertain them while waiting for there soaps to start. | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:41:17 AM | [However, there are quite a few men who feel compelled to mail me to say that my profile will not attract a man ....or that I shouldn't be so hard on myself and that no matter how ugly/fat I am there will be someone out there who will love me........LOL aw bless.....they just really don't get it do they?]
No, they dont and it seems there's quite a few people here who just don't seem to get it. They're missing out on seeing the funny side and some of their profiles would send me running for cover!
I see you've not mentioned how well you've done since rehab, you're selling yourself short here and now that you're allowed out after 7pm the possibilities are endless..... | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:41:34 AM | I am exactly the same as GG
I simply please myself and after reading that and forming the image I am sure ill be doing it more often.
In answer to the question though, some humour is very hard to get across if its via words to someone you have never met and doesnt know you.
Personally most profiles have me in fits of laughter, though unsure if they are meant to... | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:47:41 AM | Oops, just posted this on the wrong thread... which actually it turned out relevant to but may as well share here...
About 4 in every 10 people you meet will have some kind of personality disorder. If you are lucky they will be relatively harmless but many will be sociopaths and Heaven help you if you come into contact with a pyschopath.
Why am I writing this?
Well, the cold brutal truth is that people can be adult in years, they can have a good job or career, the big house, the flash car, the gorgeous body and luscious hair, etc, etc, etc, but they can be very immature, very shallow, very insecure, damaged or just a plain old vanilla wrapper nutjob.
They are everywhere.
We work with them, they work for us, we work for them. We pass them in the street, the office, the supermarket and we get emails from/write emails to them on dating sites. In fact, there have been several research articles written about how dating sites are a magnet for sociopaths.
So when you get rejected please bear all the above in mind. You may not just be that twisted idea of perfection that the nutjob has in mind. You may not live up to the fantasy career that she expects you to have or the size 8 stunning figure that he expects you to have. It is often THEM and NOT you.
Let them go, be grateful that they have chosen someone else. Move on.
There are almost 7 billion people on the planet now, give or take a few hundred million, so I am sure that there is more than just 'the one' for all of us. | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:22:23 PM | mizphitz , i read your profile think its so funny and just about sums this site up hehe, I have been on here before for a year and had a 2 year breaka and come back and the same people are still here. If it worked and profiles matter so much then they by now would have met someone , so I am in total agreement with you , ive tried to chat to some fellow female widows on here thats how bored I am lol ..they didnt reply haha so I am on here instead
I am sure it can work for the right people, my finger is in the pie but my profile is staying as it is lol
message before me , I agree with you totally , alot of my friends wotk in mental health and my doc GP is a trained psychologist and tells me all the time no its not you thats crazy its them haha
so I agree if someone is looking for perfection, you will be very disappointed in life it doesnt exist plus people can become obsessive about it and refuse to bend a little I feel for them actually | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:36:20 PM | Don't feel sorry for the nutjobs. They have no concept of empathy and would not give a second's thought to your feelings.
We swim with sharks but the sharks do not care about their prey. Remember that, and the World will be a little bit safer.
:-) | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:46:04 PM | I meant in a sense of that they will never truly be happy, dont worry I have met them all or at least spoke to most haha
seriously if someone is too nice , something is misssing as I am not that nice ever, polite I maybe.
but as youknow everyone is nice on pof it says so on their profile ;) | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:06:53 PM | Mizphitz.....had to go and read it after seeing this thread......fcuking hilarious..loved it......
I've read some profiles on here, that I wished I'd written, near works of genius...and others that have had me running for the bloody hills. | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:18:51 PM | Mizphitz, loved your profile! 
One of the things I love about POF is the friends I've made at meets, we now socialise so I have single friends to go out with! 
As for the profile, yes, I do change mine and refine it according to the sort of mail I get and even tweaking it or changing photos makes a difference. One problem is, as McForty said somewhere else I think, that if you mention you DON'T want a particular thing, those that fit that category flood into your mailbox, best not mention it at all!! | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:29:48 AM | I read profiles - they are important - they give you an indication of whether the person has some individuality a sense of humour and some intelligence. A low cliche count is always a good thing too.
But we are visual creatures and dating demands some physical attraction, so rule number one is:
No Piccy=No Talky.
I always wonder what people without photos have to hide, but usually it's well worth hiding.
If I was just here for the craic - I'd take my photos off and write large Here for the forums only | |
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| Sense of humour bypass..or just trying to help?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:35:04 AM |
Is your profile finely honed to attract just the right type of person for you? Do you perfect it meticulously to show yourself in your best light I don't think you can apply any kind of technique to writing a profile. I mean, if you can't think of much to say but feel that you ought to say a lot, then you're not being yourself. For me, I don't want to know your life history before I've met you and sorry if this seems cynical, people who write reams are only trying to sell themselves, which means you still have to meet them to find out about the things they didn't want to admit to on the page. If I know all the good stuff from the profile, all that's left for me to find out about on a meeting is the bunny boiling. I prefer short intros because from experience, the longer and more detailed a profile is, the less objective it's likely to be.
That said, some people just naturally write a lot and that's fine, what I'm saying is, don't feel that you should. If you haven't much to say,don't force it, just say what you feel like saying at the time and trust that most people are wise enough not to think an autobiography is any more accurate than a 10 year old photograph. | |
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