| Review me please =)
Posted: 11/1/2009 1:15:23 PM | | Mostly get pretty good feedback (by which i mean virtually every message i get says something about liking my profile), but lots view and dont message, so i guess it polarises people a little. I get plenty of interest off here, but always looking to improve, so criticise away! jody x | |
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| Review me please =)
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:56:02 AM | Well, you are wrong… Everyone doesn’t like all capitals, but your title is pretty accurate. It is all about you.
Your pictures suck if you are really trying to meet someone online. Your main photo is brutal. While you were probably having a good time, I think the only girls you may attract are Marilyn Manson fans as he loves to bleed on stage.
Try running your profile text through a word processor. Your spelling/grammar/punctuation is brutal and makes you sound like you are 7 years old.
And after making my eyes bleed trying to read your profile text, do yourself a favor and delete all of it and start from scratch. Talk about who you are and what you like to do. Add some information about what kind of woman you are looking for and use all positive qualities with no negatives.
Your first date example is ridiculous. I don’t think a girl really wants to know all the “naughty stuff” that you did with someone else.
Your interests, while you may think are funny… Aren’t. You need to have 8-10 legit interests.
And “Going out and getting Drunkened etc” doesn’t count. | |
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| Review me please =)
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:03:22 PM | haha thanks for the reply. Wont be deleting or starting from scratch though, far too much good feedback from girls messaging me to do that =)
The internet is not a grammar competition or a spelling bee, mate. It doesn't need to be perfect. Its more than legible, and thats plenty.
My whole profile was done in a light hearted manner, which you've obviously failed to grasp. It contains jokes and sarcasm, a small example of what a girl can expect from me in person. It gives girls lots of windows to banter with me a bit, a fair few have messaged and said something along the lines of 'I LOVE CAPITALS TOOOOOOO!' People like it when you give them the oppurtunity to make a joke.
The pictures show a bit more of my personality, i enjoy dressing up, thus i have pictures of me dressed up. And if i attracted a 'marilyn manson fan' by which i assume you mean a kinky ass goth girl, then all the better for me, their outrageous in bed. Love it when a girls not afraid to bite and scratch =D
I was up for some constructive criticism from people who actually understand how to appeal to the opposite sex (or people OF the opposite sex), maybe this isnt the place to get it. Shame. Thanks anyway x | |
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| Review me please =)
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:29:03 PM | Hi there Jody,
If you're getting interest from the sort of woman that you're interested in then great, good for you :) all I can do here is offer you criticism based on what I would think looking at your profile myself.
Headlines as far as I can tell don't put people off as much as other details so you can probably get away with it if you feel it's working for you. Personally, I'd see this and think it was less mature than thinking up something more original but again, it depends who you want to attract and you say the type of woman you like just loves it :)
Your photos show some variety which is good. I have two recommendations - firstly, a good main photo is normally a clear head shot with a smile. Your current one is great as a personality shot, but a close-up in a neutral setting is never a bad thing. Second - photos with other women in them are often frowned upon. There are various reasons but the main ones are often that it looks like you have several female friends, or are a bit of a player. No girl wants to be reading your profile and thinking she's getting a look her competition. Keep it all about you :)
You could use a few more interests. Reading and music are vague - what kind of books, what type of music? That and drunkened isn't a word - it should just be 'drunk'.
Your description, whilst nice and lighthearted, which is always a plus, makes you sound younger than 21. Again this depends on the type of girl you're actually interested in, but at the moment it's one long joke and not much substance - you could have at least one decent paragraph about yourself and what you enjoy doing - for example, you could expand on the boxing in your interests section. Plus a paragraph about the type of girl you're after would help.
Your first date idea: From a critical point of view, this is massive red flashing signal of death. Describing a date you had with another girl, including what you got up to in the park - argh, no. Okay, no ones going to think you've never had other girlfriends, but it's a big mistake to talk about them on your dating profile. I don't ever suggest people keep details of previous relationships or endeavours. Delete it and write a real first date idea.
If you're looking to improve then those would be my suggestions. Good luck! | |
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| Review me please =)
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:23:16 PM | So to summarise:
Interests (more specific and generally more)
Change lead photo
Change photos to exclude other women (personally, i would have assumed that having lots of female friends, which is what those are, would be a good thing. Shows i can talk to girls and im generally a sociable type of person, surely better than a creepy weirdo with 5 headshots sitting in his bedroom?)
Something more to the main text, something thats not part of the sarcasm overload that is my profile.
Something about the type of girl im after. Definitely an omission. i did actually have this at one point but i found that it sounded very negative so i took it out. I screen the messages and girls profiles pretty heavily anyway as i get a lot of messages from girls that 'rite lyk dis lmao lolz hehe' which just leads to a 'read deleted' from me.
Headline. Possibly an issue. Maturity isnt really something i'd considered to be honest. I'll change it if i think of something amazing, but im not taking it out for some generic 'looking for a good hearted girl' or something. No idea why people write that, or what its supposed to mean.
First date idea section Never been flagged up as an issue before, but then if it was an issue those girls probably wouldnt message me in the first place. I might change it to another actual first date i've had, a more recent one, and not mention the outcome (i.e if i slept with her, etc, you're right. . .a little tasteless)
Thanks a lot for taking the time, very useful feedback. cheers! | |
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| Review me please =)
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:50:20 PM | Thought I'd just add about the first date section - you can always pluck an idea from a date you've been on that went well, but not mention that you've already used it on another girl. I'm sure most girls would like to think you're only considering them when you take them out, not recycling old ideas, so I'd nix any suggestion that you've been there, done that with someone else :)
The female friends thing - some women will honestly have no thoughts about this as a problem, but some women may well see photos of other girls as an admission that you have a lot of women hanging around you. No girl likes to think she'll be fighting for your attention. I do completely get what you mean - it should show that you're a sociable guy - but then you're other pictures with mates, or dressed up already do a good job of that :)
Good luck :) | |
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| Review me please =)
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:06:25 PM | Everybody has an opinion. Mine is probably less valid than what you've heard up to now, but:
Interests: I never look at these. Unless they're not blue.
Lead Photo - I like yours.
Main Text - I like what you've got. Couple of spelling problems, but overall I like it.
Type of girl you're after: I would never describe her except, maybe, in the broadest terms possible. You'll be doing the chasing anyway, so why have a girl read your profile, see that she doesn't fit the description, and then figure you're "settling" for her.
Headline - Combined with the first ironic line in your profile, I think it works.
First Date - I wouldn't describe a real first date. No matter how you do it, you'll sound like a player to some. Better to say, "I'd call round, try to take you somewhere, get hopelessly lost (I get hopelessly lost). But we'll have a great conversation and meet odd adventures on our quest." Or something.
Anyway, I know I contradict everyone else, but I figured someone had to give the other side. | |
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