| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:14:45 PM | Just under a year ago...I had asked a guy out. He had said he wasn't looking for a relationship as he just got out of one. I really liked him but went on with my life...meeting other men. I pretty much stopped talking to him. Recently, he had been in touch.
We haven't been on a date though nor has he asked me out. He does contact me about twice a week but all just through text. They are just short sporadic messages....just to say hi or see what I am up to that week. He will invite me out but only if him and his guy friends are going out. He will be like " feel free to join us at the pool hall", will invite me over if his buddies are over and tell me I am free to join them and bring some friends if they are going to the movies, the bar or are sitting at a pub.
When we are out, he will say stuff like " you look really sexy" or he will laugh at all my jokes and be like " you're so cute". But makes me wonder if he just complimented me as a friend....because he never asks me out on a date. A girlfriend told me " I think last time I heard...he was seeing someone....I don't know if he is anymore...I don't think it was serious though".
Last night, I went to a friend's halloween party with just a bunch of girls. He texted me that morning to see what I had planned for halloween...I told him that I just had a house party to go to. He said " Ok well text me later to let me know what you end up doing". I never did. As soon as I got to my girlfriend's house....I was drinking and we were all having too much fun. He texted me again and asked who I was with and what I was up to...I texted " With 8 other girls..." He texted " Holy....no men? You gals need some hot men over". I texted " Well we are prob going to find another party to crash later anyways". He dings me again and says he will let me know if the house party he is going to is any good. I didn't reply back. He texted me again and asked where us gals were and were him and his boys were...I think he was implying that he wanted all of us to hook up or for them to invite themselves over. I didn't reply back. One of my girlfriends said " Girls night only" and truthfully, I was too busy getting hammered as it has been a few years since I got wasted on a special occasion ( I am for the most part, a non-drinker).
Is it neccessary to text him today with a follow-up from last night? I haven't texted back yet...I was thinking he was only keeping in touch last night because I was one of his options if him and his buddies couldn't find anything else to do. Maybe they were thinking " A bunch of women and alcohol=fun!"
Is this guy just being a flirt? I haven't asked him out because he shut me down one time and even though he had a valid reason- it was embarrassing for me to be shot down and bruised my ego. Is he just keeping in touch as a good friend and nothing more??? | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:22:11 PM |
" A bunch of women and alcohol=fun!"
This is exactly what he was thinking.
He doesn't like you like that. You've asked him out once - he knows that door is available to him if he so chooses. He likes you as a friend, he is flattered by the attention you give him, he likes the potential bootay you bring to the table and he likes the networking opportunities that come from being friends with a girl. That's it. That's all.
No need to respond to the texting last night, IMO. The two of you didn't have plans.
JMO | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:24:54 PM | | Listen, I'm not a "guy" obviously, but it sounds to me as though he doesn't know what he wants, a buddy, a girlfriend, a lay, who knows. No, it's not necessary to text him with a "follow up"; be friendly but not overly so. I don't like to play games but sometimes maybe it's wise to not be too available. Let him make a move. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:39:23 PM | OP, like what has already been noted in message #2, he knows he has the green light with you but he has chosen not to use it. Why? Chances are he is not into you.
Now why would he be still contacting you asking you to come. Well first he might be the type that just likes having other people around - a people person. Also there is the nefarious reason that he knows that women usually hang around with other women, and maybe you might bring along someone that he would be interested in meeting.
And the last thing that was interesting what you typed was that your friend "thinks" he might be dating someone. Uhm ... before I had any other thoughts, I'd find out if that really is the case. If so, then the game is over and the teams are leaving the field; he's got someone else. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:41:13 PM | You did the right thing. You had plans with your friends and even though he was obviously trying to use you as a Plan B, you (drunkenly lol) set your boundaries.
Nope don't text him. If he wants to talk to you, he will. Trust me, the right guy will move heaven and earth to be with you. The ones that only want something casual will give you the 'touch base' text. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 3:58:17 PM | I truly feel sorry for all you youngins with your crazy text habbits! I think most times the guy gets jerked around more with this, but generally speaking, dating is confusing enough without all this stupid BS going on! It really, really clouds the issues, as you have found out. As others on these forums have said, just use this function to set up appointments or exchange information. That's it! Real, live in person dates can't be beat, to get a true handle on a person's real interest in you!
If you thrive on constant Drama, that WILL impact your life in a negative way. You can't usually have your cake and eat it too! | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:03:12 PM | Blayze...
Yeah I think he was using me as Plan B. You are right...if he really wanted to be with me...he would move earth and heaven to be with me. Although he knows I am not a talker on the phone...it still feels casual when he "touches base" with me via text randomly through the week. I am glad that I didn't give in and invite him and his friends over at the house. Maybe they were all looking to get laid.
One KindMan....
He hasn't made a physical move on me one time since we hung out. But maybe you're right...maybe he is keeping me around as a potential hookup in case. I did notice that when we are out...he gets territorial if his friends start talking to me alot and I start talking to them alot and he gets quiet ( I am usually pretty social)...at first I thought he was jealous because he liked me or is just simply because men are competitive??? He is really nice to me when we are all out....but maybe I shouldn't read too much into it.
Well its already near dinner time here and I haven't texted him back yet and listening to the posters, I don't think I will. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:42:37 PM | | Isn't being a flirt, which he is with u, testing waters so to say? Ur option always on how to respond and what to do even now. I'd say wait n see for a while and guage his reaction to it. Me, if I was acting that way toward u, means I'm VERY interested. I don't play with words so extremely cuz it can backfire. Who knows but him whats up, maybe ask flat out about those things. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:44:54 PM | He is just keeping in touch with you because he liked you and that’s it. This of course does not mean he wants to date you again or anything else as all it means is that he just wanted to keep in touch.
Perhaps your staying friends with him might ultimately lead to something more but for now, all he is doing is keeping in touch with you. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:00:32 PM | | I honestly don't know, who knows what this guy's intentions are, but on the outside looking in, it's doesn't look too good, I say if he was going to ask you out, he would have by now since he's had you hanging with his friends, so he could get approval, so my conclusion is don't hold your breath, but if you really want the truth just ask "him". | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:05:10 PM | He seems to like you but not in the way you want. The both of you have been playing the part of social director for your friends. If you dont want to hear from him let him know you don t want to be distrubed till such and such a time, then he wont text you. It seems that you do want to go out on a date together, just not with the girls and guys.
Make it clear to him your intrested in just the two of you getting to know one another, if he backs out or shows little intrest then you can write off the prospect for you. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:19:49 PM | Mademoiselle, he wanted to 'tuck' you in the bed. And although everyone needs a good 'tucking' once in a while, I highly suggest you 'tuck' yourself. If he wasn't interested in you before, he isn't falling in love with you by 'txting'. He's bored and you reply to 'txt' messages. That's a match made in heaven, mademoiselle.
p.s. Life is only as complicated as you make it. If this guy adds to complications then he simply isn't worth it unless you're drunk and in need of someone to 'tuck' you in the bed. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:24:16 AM | seems he is afraid to talk to you. he (only?) texts you and invites you (and himself) only to be with friends. as he said he just got out of a relationship and is not looking for a new one he might mean with that that it didn't end so well and has a problem to put trust in a relationship. anyhow i think something is going on...
if he is shy he might text you just because he is shy. if not he might text you because he is unsure about a new relationship. (if i like a girl i will call her not text her). i think you two need to spend some time together and see what you are up to :). If he doesn't want to spend time with you he might just be looking for a one night stand (you deserve better then that!!). if he does want to meet you can get to know each other better which will definitely make things more clear for you.
and ur friends know u better then some random people on plentyoffish!! take their opinions and advice more seriously :) | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:01:06 AM | If it ended bad the last time, now wouldn't be any different. He is just looking to see if you kept up since he has been out of your life for sometime, you know, priming you for the next "big finale".
He's a flake, lose the dead weight. That man is no one's friend. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:46:15 AM | he sounds like an alcoholic, ..if he setteles into his drinks and buddies at a bar and texts you then. 1. your nothing more than an afterthought like "ohh maybe some peanuts and a vagina might be nice right now" and you prolly arent the only one to get a text
...and somebody somewhere lacks verbal communication skills and human interaction skills...find another guy..who wants to hear the sound of your voice...
bottom line..he dont like you..he doest speak to you cause he knows deep down hes using you(ie guilt) and your friends for potential sex... as long as u know that keep your distance and dont trust | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:58:27 PM | | based on some of your pasts posts this guy is really smart just to keep you in the friend zone. you come across as being very imature for your age. look at it his way. imagine if he did have sex with you and wham a kid is born. now he has two children to take care of. you and the baby. he is being a safe flirt and from what I see its a gooooooooood move. now may I recommend you go to the circus and find yourself a clown. | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:48:17 PM | Thanks for all your posts....although very insightful and helpful....
Ironically..later on last night , he ended up calling me instead of texting me . He asked me why I didn't reply back to him later that halloween night and confessed he was dissappointed. I asked him what he thought of me. He said he just hung with me with his other friends because he still wasn't looking for a relationship at the time and didn't want to give me the wrong impression....he did say that he thought I was a good person and that's why he got back in contact....I thought the good person compliment was so sweet. However, he said that the more we started hanging out...the more he realized that he was starting to like me more as a friend .We had made an arrangement to have a get together this weekend... he is taking me out for dinner. I guess its true that they say friendship is the best basis to start any relationship! I am not putting my eggs all in one basket but I am pretty happy what he said. Wish me luck and once again, thanks all for the advice:) | |
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| Does he like me or just as a friend?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:49:57 PM | He sees you as only a friend.
He knows that you are attracted to him. If he felt the same way he would have asked you out on a real date and not invite you to come along when he and his friends are doing something. | |
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