| I'm asking for helpful feedback on my new profile... Please help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:33:17 PM | Hi... I'm Jason. Nice to meet you. I'm new to POF and I'm trying to get the best results out of my profile. If you like, Please rate my profile. I want all Good, And Bad feedback so that I can find out what works, and what doesn't in this community. So please Help yourself to my profile, and let me know? Thanks | |
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| I'm asking for helpful feedback on my new profile... Please help?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:18:32 PM | Here is my .02 and dissection:
My favorite saying of all time... "The soul of a free person looks at life like a series of problems that needs to be solved, and solves them... Whereas the soul of a slave does nothing but whine, "What am I to do? but I'm just a slave.""
- I like how you're trying to show intelligence, but I think this saying says nothing about you, and it really kinda confusing.
The way I look at things now... The right one will like me for the person that I am. I'm looking for "THE ONE"...
- I think this comes off as a little needy, but I got what you were saying. I would take an approach of something like this " I believe the core of me is my best attribute and I am looking for a twin soul to match my core, it's who I am and all I'll ever be" _ That a bit wordy but I think you get my meaning. Spice it up.
I'm a Single White male. I have brown hair, yellow eyes, And a great smile. I also have a good build (athletic).
- Remove this. They see this in the POF description.
I'm not like most guys... I actually think. The best way that I can describe myself is... That I'm not an A-hole.
- I would shy away from this. It makes you sound arrogant and bitter at the same time. Try to the negative ( even though we all know its out there )
The last thing that I want is B.S. I don't play games... And I don't want them either.
- Actions speak louder than words and every woman here has "the no games policy" so if you are it will be evident, if you're not the same holds true. I quote Kansas here " if I claim to be a wiseman than that surely means that I don't know".
Please be kind? Quite a few women are too quick to judge me based on my looks. It would be really nice for a change to be known for who I am, Instead of what people anticipate in me. Anyone that reads, and understands this will know that I'm not being fatallistic... I just know what I want.
- it comes off as ranty and whiny. I would rewrite/remove it.
Oh... And for those of you who have a genuine curiosity about my career... I'm an engineer. I'm very career oriented (professional), I love my job and would do it for free if I didn't need money... Lol! I'm very dedicated to my job, but if I met the right person... I would be willing to make sacrifices. To me, people in my life are more important than any career. Jobs are replaceable.
- I would save this for an actual meeting. That's just me though
last comment: Lose the stache. I don't think it's becoming on you. You might look younger, but stache is a bit creepy. Turn it into a goatee if you really want to keep it. | |
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