| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:04:39 PM | I'm a very chatty person and tend to type like I talk. I had one guy say he thought we had a lot in common, that he wanted to chat, and that he thought I was stunning.
I acknowledged the compliment, made a joke about giving him one, but he didn't have a picture up and asked him to send one.
Said his profile was brief (it was only 3 lines), so I asked him to tell me more about what we have in common.
He then read and deleted my email. Nice communication skills for a 48 yr old guy!
Help, do I have to not be 'chatty' in email, I don't want to change who I am for anyone. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:07:52 PM | Did he ever send you a picture?
vvv - To extend what she is saying, if a married guy is trying to set up a "hook-up", chances are he's never going to send a photo. And when you ask to go into details about him, that might scare him away. Hence the reason for the question above. | |
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neerh
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Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 3 | |
| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:13:27 PM | i have had that happen to me.
guy from here told me some of the men are married and play on here to "see if they still have it"
something to think about
good luck to you | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:24:13 PM | | If u had mesgd him just about the same as ur 3 middle lines then wasnt too much. I noticed some ladies do type as though they need to give every little detail. It doesn;t hold on to most peoples attention span. Anyway he sounds very insecure. I think he ran cowardly cuz maybe u did fire alota questions in 1 messaged. I don't think many people like to be drilled from start. It kills alota exciting aspects of mystery or discovery and can lead to some defensive impulses. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:06:06 AM | | So then why would you change? If you feel like being chatty, then be chatty (within reason)! If others think you say too much (but you don’t) then, so be it! | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:43:23 AM | I suspect his disappearance wasn't because she asked questions, but because he plain didn't want to answer -- for whatever weird, quirky reasons of his own.
Just be you; don't let this experience throw you. I'd rather see people put more personality into their communication than less. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:08:40 AM | Nope don't change you at all and it's important to get those questions in the email process.
It sounds to me that he only wanted to 'skim the surface' with you and see if you were easy or not. I'll put money on the fact he was married, had a SO or just wanted to get laid. Either way, he's not right for you so just move on.
Good luck :) | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:35:22 AM |
I asked him to tell me more about what we have in common.
He then read and deleted my email.
What this means is he liked the look of you and chanced a line he thought would hook you. But he didn't think it through. You were supposed to say "OK let's meet", but when you asked for more information, that wasn't in the script so he dropped it.
I try not form any conclusions about people who don't give much detail in profiles and messages: Some people just aren't comfortable writing a lot. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:57:07 AM | Well, it depends on what you think chatty is and how you actually come off in the email.
Some people take the chatty thing to another level and write a first draft to a chapter of a new book. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:59:17 AM |
so I asked him to tell me more about what we have in common
depending on how you phrased that to him, it may have come off as aggressive suggesting he had to "prove" something to you. if that's the case, then just be a little softer with your choice of words...not to say change yourself...just perhaps present it a little less harshly.
i agree with the other posters for the most part. you have to be yourself. to try to do otherwise will only serve to make you feel self-conscious which isn't good and certainly won't help i the love life department. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:16:47 PM | NEVER CONTACT ANYONE ON AN INTERNET DATING SITE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A PICTURE.
(something's always wrong with their situation)
they may have plenty of excuses, -however, why do you need all the extra drama?
the other 46 million people don't have a problem posting a pic | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:20:39 PM |
but he didn't have a picture up
These profiles are a waste of time... and most will indeed disappear once you have the nerve to ask for a photo.. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:59:44 PM | | lol, you never be too chatty if the subject is interesting, now what men find interesting is the real crap shoot. Let me elaborate, there was one girl who i went out with she made a trip to a shopping center a long 2 hr epic story and basically i blocked her out, girl #2 she also had a long story but it was about her native homeland in italy and how she grew up and I could talk to her for hours and still do, you see the difference? just as long as the subject is interesting, but all us men do not like the same things. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:28:55 PM | OP, it wasn't your style, it was him.
For whatever reason...not interested.
We each have our own style and it resonates with some.
Not with others.
Those that it does, will respond.
Those it doesn't, won't.
It is useless to second guess ourselves.
I have sent a joke to 10 women once.
only 2 replied that it was funny.
Of those two, only one had further email exchanges with me.
It wasn't a bad joke.
Actually pretty funny.
But it resonated with some, not with others.
Happy typing. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:14:13 PM | I'm thinking that maybe this guys wife walked in on him! He frantically had to burn the papers and destroy the transmitter! lol
Chatty is O.K. if it is a two way conversation. Sometimes it's not! However, too early on and it can spook someone (like me) as I might take it as being a sign of insecurity or worse neediness!
Good Luck. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:16:34 PM | Don't change. It's a good trait to be friendly and chatty. Look at it this way: You are trying to initiate some kind of contact, unlike a percentage of people who are hiding behind a profile.
If you need help on writing/typing, you can make yourself read a lot of books or magazines, or practice with blogs (you can do that easily on Facebook or My space). Practicing with blogs is a good way to measure how people respond to your writing. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:52:51 PM | Since your post doesn't take up more than one computer screen, I wouldn't say you're excessively chatty. If you see the novels that get posted here sometimes you'll know what I mean.
It is highly likely that he was one of those who fishes with a net rather than a fishing pole. They send a similar message to everyone, see who responds and how likely is she to jump into bed with him right away. "You are beautiful. I think we have a lot in common" can be sent to any woman. I think asking to be more specific just like you did is a good strategy.
@ 85032Luck:
<div class='quote'> NEVER CONTACT ANYONE ON AN INTERNET DATING SITE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A PICTURE.
(something's always wrong with their situation)
How do you know?
I had a profile without a picture for a while, and there was nothing wrong with my situation. | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:50:03 PM | From one chatterbox to another:
Go ahead and type long emails, you'll be happier with a guy who likes it.
He might not like to type long emails back - I've met men who actually *liked to listen*, which confused me at first, why can they stand me if they're not chatty too? But it does happen.
I think people can keep up with us chatterboxes in "concepts per hour" not "words per minute" and both parties can be happy. :-) | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:05:54 AM | Being Chatty....
Isn't that what this is about? Am I mistaken???? To ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE a bit BEFORE you meet? Maybe I'm wrong... (Which I probably am for the main reason is that I'm also a chatter.)
But really, I've had people contact me. I create a nice message back. Sometimes quite lengthy with lots of answers and conversation starters. What do I get in return? a one liner. When I get stuff like that I tend to believe that the person I'm talking to is boring and less educated. I find it unimpressive to be closed and tight lipped. Imagine what they are like real life.
Keep Chatting... Good Luck! | |
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| How much is too much in a message?
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:35:38 AM | "and conversation starters. What do I get in return? a one liner. "
Can't agree with you more. I pose a few questions to see how good a communicator the man is. For the most part, they return with a one liner. This either implies that they are quiet or that they have no interest in what your saying - only in what you look like.
Your probably wondering... d0es this woman text in shorthand or full sentences? mostly full sentences with all the punctuation.  | |
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