| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:34:00 AM | I am one of those people who after 3 or 4 emails likes to meet the person i am talking to so i ask if they are interested, ive had a few " no thanks" or words to that effect.i am not smutty no inuendo and honestly would just like to meet that person for a chat and see how we get on.
thats how internet dating used to be (i met someone and didnt bother with it for over a year) ive been single since june and dont feel desperate but i am enthusiastic (thats just me! no excuses!) so what do you think ? does enthusiastic come over as desperate? | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:38:05 AM | I think it probebly does. I am the same, I'm not getting any younger so I dont have the time to waste chatting to someone who I might not even like when we eventually meet. So I tend to throw myself into things which maybe not always for the better ! Some people like that approach others dont. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:45:44 AM | | spooky and a bit stalkerish ..... four or five messages may only be the equivalent of about two minutes real-time chat and while i'm sure that after a "hello how do you do fancy a date" goes on at the bus stop in real life i don't think i would be inclined to accept the invite of a date from a nutter who wants a date after a two minute chat. | |
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JTFN
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Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 4 | |
| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:52:00 AM |
so what do you think ? does enthusiastic come over as desperate?
No not at all.
Some people/profiles like to string things out and others do not. There can many reasons for playing you along. Some will have huge mail inboxes and think they can make you wait. Others will only have a few. Some will obviously be NOT real. Some are just idiots/total fakes/children playing about on here/pervs etc etc for a wind up. Some will want endless pics and no voice chat or webcam chat to confirm. Some will be very real.
There is no real reason for any delay other than the checking procedure that two unknown people should take.
Those that do not make much attempt to get to know you are usually a waste of time, they will have list of excuses why they are unable to as well. So, some are not worth bothering with.
At the end of the day you just have to make your play and move on if the excuses start... | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:00:41 AM | | no i dont agree,on here if someone has read your profile they know quite a few things about you and you are only asking to meet them, nothing else.how about talking to someone in a nightclub ? you might be with them for an hour or two have hardley talked because of the music or dancing together and arrange a date from that,or (shock! horror!) go home together! | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:01:14 AM | Some people want protracted correspondence before meeting, some don't. There's no right or wrong way to do this - what works for you works for you. If someone thinks you're desperate, so what? They're not going to meet you unless you adapt to suit them, and why would you do that? Just stick with people who are compatible with the way you prefer to do it instead of worrying about those who are not. I guess that's why they call it plenty of fish.  | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:13:17 AM | | i don't really go in for trying to pick up women in a nightclub either ... that phase passed a long time ago although if one is desperate then getting a date from a drunk woman at 3am might be a bit easier | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:15:22 AM | as said on many threads before, get yourself to the organised meet, talk to the people there, after all they want to meet others and not like most want someone to send emails too while they wait for constaption street to start! wish the men would wake up to the fact that most are just jumping through the hoops and should get a back bone  | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:32:42 AM | I personally wouldn't want to meet someone after just 3/4 messages, it takes longer than that to get a vibe about someone.
Don't you end up as a serial dater if you just meet everybody you share a couple of messages with?
I'm in no rush to meet anyone, if i feel attracted to them after many messages then i will if not then i won't, if someone nags to meet after just a couple of messages it makes me back of though. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:41:11 AM | I would much prefer to meet someone sooner rather than later, but 3/4 messages is a bit quick even for me!
Once I've established a raport with someone chatting on line I can usually tell if it's worth pursuing, and am then happy to meet up for a quick drink or a coffee. If the face to face meet goes well and there is a glimmer of interest then I'd move on to a date. Experience has proved that meeting for dinner etc., on the first date is often a bad idea - it's a very very loooooooooooooong evening if you don't hit it off.....mind you, I have been known to excuse myself before we've even got around to ordering | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:35:33 AM | I think it makes sense to meet fairly soon. I mean, we all presumably have fairly busy lives and chatting on MSN and sending PoF messages can easily fall by the wayside so it is very easy to just lose interest or lose touch when you only talk online.
I think I have probably lost touch with a few people who would have been really lovely to get to know better because I might sometimes not get on the comp for 3 days, and then they might not be on when I do, and after a week or 10 days of not contacting someone it is harder to carry on where you left off.
I think meeting someone quite early makes sense. I think the online period is just to make sure you'll at least have something in common and to make sure neither of you are complete odd balls! | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:39:02 AM |
I think the word 'grateful' will be covering it soon. hahaha
hey change your message settings.........we know each other.......LOL
Mizphitz...........aka.......shedevil ;) LOL | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:42:30 AM | Personally, I'd be happy to meet someone after 3/4 messages or texts.
I wouldn't want to waste my time (or theirs) messaging for weeks on end, only not to fancy them when we finally met.
I'd prefer to meet fairly soon after the initial message, that way I can get to know the person better. IMO I don't think you can get to know someone properly until you meet them face to face.
I thought that was the whole point of a dating site, you know to DATE ppl. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:43:02 AM | I like to meet up with someone sooner rather than later, and don't string out messaging unnecessarily, but it would be after a few more than just 3 or 4 emails/messages.
I wouldn't say it would come across as desperate, just a bit too overenthusiastic.
Nor would I class this as serial dating - serial dating to me is seeing several/the same guys at the same time, along the lines of one for every day of the week. This works for some people but not for me. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:46:01 AM | From experience i think meeting sooner rather than later is better, despite how well you get on via email and text thats nothing to meeting in the flesh, however, i keep banging on about it but from a womans perspective i have to feel safe before i can consider a meet.
And no OP i dont think you are desparate, its good to have a positive upbeat out look is most welcome as opposed to a lot of the bitter people you encounter on POF.
Good luck  | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:18:52 PM | | I prefer to meet after a few emails,no point messaging for weeks on end only to find the 'click' isnt there in person | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:33:02 PM | I think thats where i'm failing.
I only ever manage 2 emails then i'm bored and never reply  | |
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sjxx
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Joined: 8/27/2009
Msg: 21 | |
| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:41:24 PM | I prefer to meet after a few drinks and this has been an absolute God send with most of my dates. I am that fool who rushes in willy nilly without any real thought about what I am doing or who I am gonna be doing it with. Alcohol has saved me many times by rendering me hideously unattractive to even the most awful that pof has had to offer me  I intend to carry on until I end up too depressed to leave the house at all. Then I expect I will blame it on my ex or something. Happy Days  | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:00:11 PM | well theres over a million online..as we speak..what they all doin.
every one faffing about with 3 emails...
i must be the only idiot on here that goes on a date..4 hours after emailin
iv spoke to someone saturday afternoon...and gone on a date by 8 oclock that evenin. | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:20:04 PM | Did you have a good time Mitzi?
I think thats an excellent attitude!
Anyone want to go for a beer, 40mins before closing time in most places...
38 minutes now as i have to type more as this isnt long enough! | |
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| Enthusiastic or desperate?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:33:11 PM | aww thanks heaven..it was all right,a hour drink,and he took me for a indian meal,i was home by 12...no need for a base ball bat,or tazer gun,...might see him again... dunno.
hunni....no point hangin around this there...(theres plenty to do in our neck of the woods we dont have to stray to far from home). | |
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