| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:34:21 AM | Hi,
I updated my profile and changed the title to something I think is eye catching and funny once you read the first paragraph of my profile.
My question is, is it too much? Do you think women reading my profile will get the joke? I'm not looking to be offensive. But, I do realize that what may funny in person may not translate well in text form.
Thanks in advance for opinions.
Lateef | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:41:51 AM | | Im not exactly funny (or a lady) but I'd say its eye catching but a little weird and random. Still a much better effort then most people put into profiles. | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:54:27 PM | Hi there,
Personally, not sure it works. It does nothing for me, but I'm not your target audience.
So, if you're reading this and thinking to yourself, "Wow, he's cute. Too bad he's in a wheelchair" Then it would appear that you have more of a disability than I do. And, between you and I, you really should get that taken care of. I think they make pills and therapies for your kind of "affliction." ...lol
If that's not enough for you then I suggest you move on. But, you're going to be kicking yourself when one of my songs hits the number 1 spot on Billboard. Don't say I didn't warn you.
I would cut the above two lines. The rest of your profile is actually really good, you have a personality that comes across really well in your writing, but those two parts are a little too confrontational. If either of those things are a problem for a woman then she won't respond/get in touch. Negativity can turn off a woman who might have been previously interested. Keep it upbeat like the rest of what you've written :) | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:40:29 PM | Uphm, uphm, Umph Are you sure your 41? You could very well pass for what 25, maybe.
I totally got your jokes but everyone not in to sarcasm.
You appear stylish, young and upbeat, sort of like the poor little rich boy.
Very Handsome and very talented. Good luck with that. | |
|
| |
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:59:37 PM | @HouseKitten 86
Thank you. I took your advice. I've said the same thing on several occasions in person with a wink and a smile. And, it has actually gotten me dates from women who've said they weren't interested at first. But, they said it made them feel at ease. One of them I dated for quite a while. I guess this was a case of what may work in person, comes off wrong in text.
@sinlov
Thank you for the compliments. But, the creaking bones when I wake up and the gray in my beard reminds me of every year I've terrorized the earth. ...lol
@ TuffLuv1984
Thanks for your honesty. I would make a wise crack here, but I'll let slide on this one. ...lol
@ Lewis Cruyff
Weird and random. That seems to be the story of my life. ...lol | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:34:07 PM | Dude - the only thing I would change would be to remove the negative comments. That's all. If you have a sarcastic sense of humor, run with it. The people that don't get that, you probably won't get along with anyway.
I might suggest that you swap your main picture with your #4 as it is a great close-up of your face and smile with that Lil Richard 'stashe goin on.
Can I steal your pic and put it on my profile?
:-)
Cheers! | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:35:04 PM | You have a lot going for you despite the malady that has you using a wheel chair.
It's important to state that everything works but why are you in a wheel chair?
The chair is not an issue for anyone who is sincerely interested in you providing you don't make an issue out of it that makes you come across as bitter or insecure.
Hope this helps. | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:43:30 PM | OP, you are good-looking enough that you don't need to get attention via the old "negative attention-seeking behaviour."
If I hadn't encountered your profile in this venue, I wouldn't have read any further based on the caption alone.
G'Luck | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:35:33 PM | Hi Lateef…nice job overall….EXCEPT for the darn “Obey Me Woman” headline. You would have lost me there, too…along with a few thousand other ladies. Voice inflection makes it work in person…but not here, hun.
A few more tweaks…
1) As GQsunset pointed out….why the need for the chair? The lady may like everything you said, but when you purposely omit info, it’s a huge red flag.
2) Address the issue so she feels comfy about answering your first email.
3) Address it so she’ll be comfy contacting you first…that’s right…she might want to contact you first.
4) Nix the “I have a life and you should too” part. I’ve read that several 1000 times and it never works.
5) Also nix the “hot” and “pretty” girl section. I’ve read that at least 2000 times in guys profiles….and it never flies either.
6) Beautiful souls are rare…yes, keep that.
7) More about your job…do you work for an ad agency, for yourself, for ??
8) Songwriter is a financially tough profession. You can be a hit overnight or struggle for decades.
9) Yes, you tell her you pay the bills, but she doesn’t know if you had 1 decent hit that paid royalties or what. When you have a non-traditional job, it’s a good idea not to leave her wondering about the job situation.
Hope that helps.
Best to you here and in your songwriting endeavors! DenverSky5280  | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:17:42 PM | I got the headline. Yeah, made me look, ya bugger! Thankfully, the first lines of your profile will also show up on the search to explain what you are doing.
You have a killer smile and that should be your main photo. Otherwise - good to go. | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/2/2009 11:47:32 PM | @DenverSky & GQSunset
You are so right about voice inflection. Vocal and visual cues make all the difference.
I don't go into the reason I'm in the chair because it's complicated and not easily explained on a dating site. It's not a big secret. I usually go into it on the first phone call or date.
I put the, " I have a life" part on there because I tend to attract women who want a project. They tend to be very much into taking care of me (a lot more than a woman would a normal man) and it gets kind of creepy. At first I thought it was just me. But, I've talked to other people with disabilities and they've experienced the same things. I know these women mean well. But, I wanted to tactfully stress the point that I don't just sit around. Well, okay, I do sit around. ... lol But, I'm doing things while I'm siting around.
Songwriter is good enough. If she's interested, whether I've had a hit song or a string of flops shouldn't matter. As long as I'm carrying my own weight, she should be cool with that. At least initially.
@majicwonder
"Little Richard 'stache?" ... LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost fell out of my chair laughing at that one. Too funny. I don't use #4 as my main pic because it's about 4 years old. I've cut my hair since then and I think I've visibly aged. I hate when people use old pictures of themselves. Then you meet them and they look ten years older or worse. I would not want to do that to anyone . The only reason I have it up at all is because it's the only pic I have with me smiling.
I'll let you use my pic on one condition; you call my sister, pretend you're me and "check in so she doesn't worry." ...lol
@CheshireCatalyst & You go first
Thank you for the compliments. I wasn't trying to go negative. But after taking a step back, I can see how that could come across as negative.
So, I've changed the title. It's still sarcastic, but I think it does away with the misogynist connotations.
Thanks guys. I appreciate your candor.
Lateef | |
|
| |
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:22:25 AM | OP – I hear you on your one picture of you smiling then. I have met a couple women that looked NOTHING like their pictures due to them posting ones of them when they were 20 years younger (and usually much lighter on the scale). Cheers to you for being so honest.
So you have the Lil Richard thing goin’ on… and I have the Pancho Villa thing. We are probably even on this one I think!
And I will call your sister for you, but is she cute? | |
|
| Ladies, do you get the joke or is it too much?
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:34:52 PM | I think your new byline is much funnier, and it aligns better with the rest of your profile, which is well-written (I neglected to mention this fact in my earlier response).
So you have a lot goin' on in your favour.
Best of luck to you........ | |
|
| |
Home
login 
