| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:19:45 PM | | I've changed my profile around a lot of times, no change in results. Just posting this out of curiosity before I delete my profile and move on. Obviously, I can't change the way I look, and as of now, this seems to be the most likely culprit for my failure. | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:39:53 PM | Hi there,
Well, at a glance besides your picture the things that may cause a woman to move on are:
1. You're a smoker.
2. You drink 3 or more times a week on average.
3. You own snakes.
4. I see by smoker you actually mean smokes pot.
I know things like your pets and your lifestyle choices are just part of who you are, but none of the above are things women tend to put on their 'characteristics my boyfriend should have'. So I'm just pointing out, these are things which may put some women off.
As for your photo. Obviously you can't change how you look without some rather drastic measures, but you can change whether or not you've got a decent picture, and you don't. It looks like it's been taken in the dark and you're scowling so hard at the camera it's frankly a little scary. Even if you found a woman who wasn't put off by snakes or frequent drinking, she's probably going to be discouraged by how unfriendly you look.
Switch the lights on, put on a clean shirt, practice a smile and then take a decent shot of yourself. A good picture can win you a lot of points but conversely, a truly awful one can put off a girl before she even clicks on your profile. | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:45:25 PM | One, your picture frightened me! You look mean as hell in it, not to mention pissed at the world. That main picture needs to be a good face shot with a smile on your mug.
I seriously doubt it is your "looks" that is scaring the women off.
“I have two beautiful snakes…” – Eww? That is what most women will think. And a quick question… will you use the cats as a food source for your snakes when you get them?
Why did you add the “one woman man” comment right after you were discussing your love of snakes, cats and dogs? Just curious.
“Physically, I love women with curves, but if you are 100 lbs overweight, I wouldn't be able to offer you anything but friendship. I know its mean, but it's reality.” Yep, that is very mean and will be viewed as you being superficial. I’m not really into heavier women either, but you don’t always have to speak your mind either.
And in my opinion, your FYI paragraph while completely honest is what is scaring the women away from you. You smoke cigs, you smoke bud, you are a “heavy drinker”. That will kill a large portion of the women online.
Your last paragraph could be nuked completely if you had more than just your one pissed off picture as well. Pictures speak a 1,000 words so they say. I would try it if I were you.
Cheers!
Edit: wait! I have to have a clean shirt on too??? Ugh. | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 12:54:50 PM | | I see what you mean about the >100 lbs overweight comment, but it's there because I've had a few interesting conversations with some very sweet and interesting ladies here that were unfortunately very far outside my size limit, and I felt really bad like I lead them on. I like thick women, but I'm just not attracted to obese. Also, off topic, but seriously what is wrong with having a beer after working hard in the heat every day and smoking a joint once in a while? Not like I'm a damn crackhead or something. And some women love snakes. I'd quit smoking pot in a heartbeat for a woman I cared for, but I'd never get rid of my animals. As for the picture, it's the best one I got believe it or not, but I guess I'll try and look for more(I'm not mean it's just my facial structure). Thanks for the input anyway. | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:12:41 PM | There's nothing wrong with how you decide to live your life. That's individual. All I meant was, some women are going to be put off by those qualities, which might explain why you're not having much luck.
Your photo mainly looks mean because you're not smiling. Your facial structure looks fine to me :)
As for the overweight women - you could just not start conversations with them if it makes you feel bad to talk to them. | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 1:58:47 PM | Dude, I drink everyday that ends in a “Y”. That isn’t the point and I wasn’t being judgmental. You brutal honesty is going to scare women off due to coming across like a boozer. Smoking some bud will do the same thing, probably worse than the drinking. These are only observations my friend.
Some women do like snakes, but not most. Some women are ok with daily drinking, some aren’t… and ditto on the bud.
You aren’t a bad looking guy if you can get past the axe murderer look you have going on. Hell if you just had a smile in that picture it would change it 100% for the positive.
You really need to think about removing the negative comments throughout your profile as well.
Cheers! | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:41:01 PM | If only you knew how much potential you have my friend. On one hand you can write very well. You have honest self reflection. But on the other hand it's as if you are actually attempting to push woman away. You have to make a decision. Do you want to waste away in a virtual world of online gameing and Avatar personalities? Or do you really want to meet some wonderfull ladies and get out in RL (Real Life) and feel like a a human being again? I believe you are not not happy with the way you are and that you want to get back to feeling alive again.
This is your first step of your resurection. Your primary profile picture is the picture that will lure a lady to click on your profile. In your mind create a scenario of your own choosing. Imagine yourself and the woman of your dreams have briefly and inadvertantly locked eyes. Now the both of you have never met before. All you know is that for some reason you are both unable to look away and time has frozen. How do you want to look right now? Do you want to look angry, sad, or happy? When you "hopefully" capture another profile picture of yourself think of these things. Look into the camera as if you are looking into that womans eyes and bare your soul.
If you do this, I will help you further. | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:03:46 PM | OP - I believe you have gotten some decent feedback at this point on your profile. Yeah, your lifestyle isn't a perfect match for everyone but if that is what you are looking for? Three cheers to you man. Go with what you after and F the ones that aren't into the things that you are into. Just make sure you have lots of cats for your snakes... That's all I got. :-)
Cats are from Satan.
singlebyfate - You should have paid attention to dichoTommy's advice and learn how to spell. Just a thought.
If you do this, I will be more than willing to help you further.
Cheers OP! | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:20:19 PM | | lol, thanks for the advice. It's a work in progress. I didn't know the grammer police were out in full force on these forums. | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:42:24 PM | If you'd give up smoking dope for the right lady, why not do it now and change the 'smoker' question to "no"? This way, the 'right lady' will be able to accept your email messages and may even find you.
I can't help picturing your household with 2 snakes, a cat and a dog, then two lumpy snakes and the dog and cat nowhere to be seen...
If you're as decently built as you claim, get the full body shots (shirt on, shades off) and work it. No cellphone in the bathroom mirror or webcam shots. | |
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| Is it just the picture?
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:24:44 AM | Nothing wrong with your look. But you need to look more relaxed or smile in 1.
I think there are women into the bouncer wrestler thug looking with a sensitive streak- work in a machine shop- snakes having, tough guy and the pic may be distorting your look--not that you look bad in it. The black void around your face is a touch intense.
POF people looking might be more vanilla, but you could do searches for tattoo,snakes, etc.
Your text is intelligently honest, and it appears you are not changing. I don't see why you don't pick up women in bars.
If it's shyness, I think you just need to learn to have a relaxed smile and eye contact, start up a conversation with quiet confidence and she'll see you are actually sincere.
And improve the profile pics, couldn't hurt.
Best of luck. | |
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