| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:45:49 PM | Ok so I've met this girl online back in mid-August and after several emails to each other we finally felt we were able to trust each other and felt comfortable enough to meet up in person. We've hung out 4 times so far so you could say we're in the status of "seeing each other". However, for some reason she has yet to add me as a friend on facebook. Back when we were first emailing each other, I asked her if she was on facebook and if she was we should add each other as friends. I told her it would be another fun way to stay in touch with each other. But she never accepted my friend request. I brought it up again in another email, but again she avoids the topic and never mentions it. I've never brought this up to her in person just because I already feel awkward about why she won't add me as a friend on facebook. We've shared more personal emails and stories about our lives to each other than to anyone else... ever. So I feel kinda weird about bringing it up in person, but I may have no other choice.
So ladies, do you have any suggestions as to why she won't add me as a friend on facebook? Do you know of any girl that has done this to a guy they like? I'm really baffled on this and just want some people to share some insight on this. Thanks in advance! | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:51:00 PM | For some people, Facebook is a way to stay in touch with family and friends.
She could be afraid that if things don't work out that all that drama will spill over in
there for the world to see.
I have to really know you and trust you before I will add you on Facebook. I have pics
of my children on there and I am not going to just let anyone into that arena of my world after 4 dates. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:51:00 PM |
she won't add me as a friend on facebook. I'm sorry but that just sounds ridiculous.
I've never brought this up to her in person Time to do so.
I don't use facebook specifically for the unnecessary drama it creates-- like this. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:51:21 PM | | Some people are selective about who they add to facebook, partly because the amount of personal info, or maybe because they've had people abuse their facebook. I'm a little leery of adding some people, especially those I don't know well because they've posted inappropriate things on my facebook page, and I have family (including my mom) on there.... | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:51:24 PM | In my case, I'm leary of adding someone who's going to scrutinize everything everyone says and who I'm friends with. Maybe she's dealt with that with past SOs, or friends and would rather not find out the hard way she shouldn't have done it.
I have friends who all know each other and still end up fighting over comments from facebook...you have to be able to separate yourself from what goes on there, and too many people take everything too personally.
For instance - let's say I am dating some guy and decide to stay home because that's the mood I'm in rather than spend time with him, but I'm on facebook talking to people. Someone could take that personally or post some dramatic thing about it on my page and make it everyone else's issue. It's just a place where a lot of people can't seem to respect personal space. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:52:22 PM | It could be that she doesn't trust you yet.
There are lots of stories out there about online stalkers and other weirdos. She may have experienced one, or knows someone who has. 4 dates does not a relationship make. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:53:40 PM | | Maybe she still doesn't consider you close enough to be a Facebook friend yet. After all, all of her real friends are probably there and there's a level of camaraderie and closeness that she's not willing to share with you yet. I rarely allow mere acquaintances or someone I haven't known long to be a Facebook friend. I'm much too wacky and personal on there, so it's reserved for those Near and Dear to me. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:56:07 PM | She has pics or other info on there that she doesn't want you to see. Smells fishy.
This has my vote, but then again, this makes sense too...
It could be that she doesn't trust you yet. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:56:12 PM | | I can't answer for her but I can tell you that FB can cause major fights between a couple. If one person is a jealous or overly possessive type, they may freak out because they added a new "friend" of the opposite sex. Maybe she doesn't want you to access to every detail of her life just yet. Hanging out 4 times really isn't all that much. I think you have to ask yourself why this is so important to you? Have you had the exclusive relationship talk yet? If this is that important of an issue for you, are you prepared for the relationship to end if she doesn't agree? I love FB because I can keep in touch with family & friends but I'm extremely picky on who I'm "friends" with. If you've already brought it up several times and she's ignored it, you have your answer. If you continue to push for this, you may send up some red-flags for her and push her away. Just my opinion. Good luck! | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:59:09 PM | Thanks for the insight so far everyone! :-) I just thought that talking to each other for 3 months now and seeing each other officially 4 times would be enough. But here's the other thing... when I first sent her a friend request on Facebook, she never accepted it. Then I withdrew my request, and after a week I could not find her on facebook again. I thought maybe she just deleted her account... but then one day I tried looking her up without being logged on facebook and I was able to find her, but when I logged on under my name I couldn't find her. So basically, she blocked me. This was back in mid-Sept... however, her and me continued to flirt and talk and meet up without any indication that she wasn't interested.
So not only won't she add me as a friend... she has me blocked. Hence, this is why it would be really awkward to bring this up in the middle of the conversation: "Hey, so I noticed you never added me as a friend on FB... and now I can't even find you. What's up with that?"
I don't want to create an unnecessary situation over something that some people on here have mentioned that it could be so to avoid any drama or uncomfortable situations.
I just want to make sure that she's not trying to send some sort of hint to me that she's not interested... or something? | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:02:00 PM | ^^^I'd just chalk it up as her personal choice, and go on with dating and talking - chances are the two aren't related.
Added: Just post the pics wherever you chat online, e-mail them, or bring them to her and show her (if she says she wants to see them, she may not care either way). FB isn't the only place you can share photos. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:02:04 PM | | The other reason I brought this facebook thing up to her again was that I wanted to share some Halloween pics of my costume to her... and vice versa. So I told her it would be easy for her to just add me and see my pics and I could see hers. As soon as I texted her this to her this evening, she hasn't responded to me. I'm still waiting for her to respond... so far she's been quiet. Yikes? | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:08:57 PM | If things are going well otherwise, I wouldnt have requested it x2 and let her add you if she wants to...My guess is she doesnt see it going anywhere and doesnt want the drama of deleting you | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:15:20 PM | maybe she's involved with someone or married and having you on would only expose it all to her friends and family, not to mention her partner.
or maybe adding you on there is too personal at this point if she using it with family and close friends. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:18:24 PM | | If shareing pics is all this is about then why not just sign up for one of those free photo hosting websites like Flicker? Or maybe see if you can email them to her? I mean the information super highway is more than Facebook, you do have options. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:22:31 PM | | If all her life is on facebook then maybe she doesn't want the whole world to know that she is seeing someone. If she is like me and she doesn't really use it much she probably just forgot, and the notification message drowned in her inbox among other e-mails that don't require urgent attention. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:28:46 PM | OP: Evidently she has something on there she does not wish to share with everyone. Makes no sense if you two are dating...............
EDIT: You need to back off and if it bothers you that much bring it up when you are face-to-face. Don't sweat any girl that much if she's not reciprocating. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:29:06 PM | | I'm on Facebook but I just don't get why this is such a big deal. What's so freakin' special about Facebook anyway. Why don't you just email each other privately and share photos between the two of you. | |
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| Why The Girl I'm Seeing Won't Add Me On Facebook
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:33:41 PM | There is another thread on here about a guy that has added his gf as his facebook friend and everytime they have a fight or disagreement, she posts every detail of it on her facebook page.
He has to read how she cries about their fighting or how he has upset her and all her friends get to comment on it also. And he gets to read all about it.
Food for thought. | |
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