| Not as much a response as I would like.
Posted: 11/2/2009 7:48:57 PM | Out of about 20 messages I sent, at least 10 are read/deleted and the rest are read with no response.
Maybe I'm looking at the wrong girls (my matches) or it could be my profile. I figure I'll give the review thing a go! :D
Also, my messages generally go like this:
Subject: (I never say "hey" or anything, more like "I noticed..." or "I like your profile")
Body: I usually try to spend some time relating to her about similar interests, and I throw in a question like "so what is that got you into photography?" or "How long have you been interested in...?"
I know it's about profile reviews, not about first contact, but I wanted to answer "maybe it's the way you approach her..." before it hit.
Thanks. | |
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| Not as much a response as I would like.
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:15:04 PM | Maybe it's a matter of time - what kind of women are you sending these messages to? This is important because you do not want children, it sounds like you want just a dating relationship ("There's no place in my life that even gives me a fair chance at "playing the field" in real life."), a woman that is a good listener and a woman that has a car.
Good luck to you. | |
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| Not as much a response as I would like.
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:29:55 PM | 22 cents...
1. there are no pics of you smiling and no body shot.
2. your heading is kinda boring. make it catchy and unique, cuz everyone is looking for a fun and friendly girl.
3. add some more interests. ones not to 'bookwormish". like to travel? scuba dive? roller coasters? pool? football? bowling? shopping? dinner out? music? you said you like alternative rock. put it as an interest. put them all where they belong.
4. lots of talk about your interests, but not the kind of person you are. more personality related traits would be better. as well, showing what kind of girl you're looking to attract. focus on the positive. keep your word choice as "do" or "would like" instead of "can't" or "do not".
5.first date is kinda boring. be creative and think of something special.
i think that was it for me....happy fishing... | |
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| Not as much a response as I would like.
Posted: 11/2/2009 8:41:25 PM | For me, if I were your imaginery viewer, the last line about 'playing the field' would have me out like a shot. No one wants to know you're intending to date as many women as you possibly can - they want to think they'll be the only one ever. If she doesn't think you'll be treating her special, she won't sign up for the gig. However - if you are into this just to meet as many girls as you can, maybe the "Friends" label may work better.
The introductory messages should be about her, your profile should be about you. The whole explanation on the drugs/drinking/smoking thing is a waste of your valuable profile space because you have no email restrictions and it's clear from your profile you don't do any of those things.
Instead, break up the first paragraph which has 3 or 4 separate ideas and expand on your activities and interests. These little details will be what your viewer will use to find things in common with you.
You may also want to be clear about what type of girl you're looking for - if you have a preference for a certain personality type, energy level, etc. | |
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| Not as much a response as I would like.
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:43:31 PM | RE: "I don't drink, smoke, or do any drugs; but it honestly doesn't make a difference to me if you do any or all of those things. Well, for drugs, that only applies to pot that I don't care about. I also don't care if you have a history of a bit of experimenting, but are clean now. If you're willing to look past the fact that I just don't do it, then it's perfect. :D"
If you are an athlete it DOES make a difference! To be your best (not to mention saving lives Fire Fighting...hmmm, would I want to be "rescued" by someone with no clear position on drugs and alcohol?). I like to think you'd want to be clear about substance abuse issues and seek a young lady who understands the efficacy of that, both personally and for your future job. JMO, but it is not your job to clean up "past users". What you want to do here is attract the right gal/s who can share fully in your life which includes a job and a sport that precludes overuse of alcohol and drugs. (Also I’d recommend keeping the “cannabis qualifier” for the meet and greet…never put anything on paper/internet that you might regret later…ah those darnn laws and all…).
RE: "The reason I'm trying out this dating thing is because I literally only see other guys all day. There's no place in my life that even gives me a fair chance at "playing the field" in real life. Here goes nothing."
Never apologize for who you are or the "straights" you are presently in. Women prefer men that other women want! None of us (regardless of what you may hear on pof) wants to date a loser in love. JMO. Also, I read a bit of a snag in presentation when I learned that you "have no car"...but that is doable if you concentrate on priorities as mentioned above. Students are usually in struggle to make ends meet. And active athletic types usually prefer to bike or walk or use alternate means to get about, and that is okay. I would suggest you say how you get to and fro, rather than mention that you “have no car”. Cars/cabs are rentable/borrowable for important things.
Also try not to use terminology such as "playing the field", even figuratively...no woman (of any age!) wants a man who is playing the field (unless its a gorgeous one like you ON THE RUGBY FIELD...). We just don't. We want to feel special. That requires all of your attention in the moment when you are addressing a female, no matter what the mode of communication. What you do with the rest of your day is probably not of much never-mind to the kind of woman I think you’d do best with. She probably has her own sport and career or shares a love for yours, thus understands the demands of it all. (“Firemen are hot!”).
Your photos are just fine. You are very good looking IMO. No problems there. That comes across well in your photos. A full body shot (on the field perhaps - all sweaty and full of mud - could round out the portfolio). Barring that a switch atwixt photo 1 and 3 from time to time would give you that “Artsy” feel which I think you have.
Good luck. | |
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| Not as much a response as I would like.
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:24:26 AM | You have to crop women out of pics.
The not wanting kids might need clarification. It adds a self-centric vibe, even if she may not want kids.
No smiles means fewer responses.
Women don't invest in disposable or random.
Women online usually seek some sort of relationship, because they can find casual anywhere. This is where they weed out the casual seekers.
You've been weeded out.
Unless you're in an all male school, join some groups there, as you might find what you seek, doing so.
Best of luck. | |
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