| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:10:24 AM | Greetings all.. And thanks for the help.
I met a girl about a week ago while out with friends. We ended up talking at a fav food place at the end of the night and it seemed to go well. I had her and her friends peeing their pants from laughing at my jokes and humor. A few days later, I realized that she works at the gym I got to. I've approached her and asked her what she's been up to. She said she's been doing nothing, she's bored and ended up going to bed early. I asked her if she wanted to go to a concert my work was putting on this past Friday and gave her a few tickets, told her I'd text her and she offered up her phone number. She brought 2 of her girlfriends... both nice but one of the just seemed bored. It didn't go over very well. The girl I like was a social butterfly and that was fine. An hour into the concert, she says they're going to leave and asks if I'm mad. I wasn't, told her it was all good and hoped she had fun elsewhere. I texted her about 2 hrs later and said thanks for coming, she writes back saying they should have stayed at the concert. I write back saying I'd call her sometime this week and ask her out to dinner... No reply. I see her at her work last night... didn't get a good vibe so didn't ask her out, but again ask her how her weekend was and she says boring, claimes she has no life.
She didn't make me feel as though she wanted to be asked out, but if she didn't, wouldn't she claim to be super busy to avoid me asking her ? I'm pretty shy and been out of the dating scene for a while so any help/advice is much appreciated. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:24:33 AM | | I wouldnt put anymore time into her.....looks like she would rather be bored than go out on a date with you....even if she eventually shows an interest...dont go down that path with her..... | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:41:35 AM | | This lady seems to be reactive upon her girls! Do what, when and such as her buds. Probably a bad decision maker on her own or at least lacks confidence in making em, so needs help most often in pushing her or making decisions for her. Did she show u a lot of attention at the concert, meaning talking to you? If when you were talking to her, did she keep conversation or did she bounce outa ur conversation midsentences sometimes and make gestures and comments back to her buds enuf to lose what u were saying? Did she always try and stand next to u, be closest to u? This lady is hard to read for me unless saw with my eyes certain things like these. To me if a woman is easily distracted, losing focus on u and then asking.....What did u say? Doesn't show much promise no matter what. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:32:36 AM | Thanks for the reply people...
4gotnsoul... To answer your questions, no deviation from the conversation whatsoever. Infact, I've never had as great eye contact with a person I was interested in as her. That is partially because I recently got fed up with being single and not taking chances and being shy, so I vowed I would do things like maintain eye contact even if it kills me. I agree, she does tend to look for approval in her friends... even in one or two things she said to me. I don't get a great feeling from it, but I can't get understand why, if she wasn't interested, why she would say she's bored and has her weekend nights open. If you're not interested... Aren't you just setting yourself up for problems in having to say no to a guy when you could have just as easilyade youself sound busy like you have no time ? | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:59:22 AM | You got a dozen signals that she isnt into you.. Pay attention to them
Dont even bother to say anything else to her.. No more texts.. dont go by her work.. nothing
IF she then contacts you.. be straight up and say
Ya know.. I showed an interest in you and your response wasnt even lukewarm. I'm only interested in continuing with you if you have the equal or greater interest in it too. If you dont, thank you but goodbye.
Then mean it. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:17:45 AM | I don't think she's interested.
As to the bored thing. Women, for whatever reason, like to portray themselves as having a lot going on because they think it makes them more interesting to a man. You know, because that's what they'd find interesting in a man. So I think by portraying her life as boring, she's trying to make you disinterested or something to that effect.
You could just bite the bullet and ask her out on a date though and possibly prove all this wrong. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:53:35 PM | gave her a few tickets
Why did you give her a few tickets? So she could bring her boyfriend?
Don't be a loser. And don't ask losers like us on POF. Everybody is different. It's pointless to guess her intention. Only girly man over analyzes the "sign".
Be a real man, ask her out by herself directly and you'll find out the answer. You have nothing to lose. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:01:58 PM | | She doesn't sound interested....maybe as a friend...hence agreeing to go to the concert with friends...as for the lying bit to get rid of you...not everyone is prone to lying...lol...like myself...so her answer is just being honest without any intent to play any games. So if you're willing to enjoy her company as a friend, just keep it casual and don't attempt to take it any further or she'll just try to avoid you like the plague. Good luck!! | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:08:34 PM |
She said she's been doing nothing, she's bored and ended up going to bed early.
both nice but one of the just seemed bored.
ask her how her weekend was and she says boring, claimes she has no life.
How do you get
The girl I like was a social butterfly from that?? | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 5:20:13 PM | | Good question... When we went to the concert put on by my work, she knew almost as many people as I did. At one point, she mentioned some of her friends were supposed to be there. I told her she should go look for them but she didn't want to. She did stop and talk with a few groups we ran into. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:51:40 PM | She doesn't seem interested.
You need to go by gut feeling in situations like this. If you had the feeling that she did not want to go out with you, it is probably because she did not want to go out with you.
She knew that you wanted to take her out to dinner. If she was interested in you, she would have been more open and responsive. Women will make things easy for you if they like you.
Forget about her. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:30:20 PM | | Thank you all... You have all given great advice. I'm not into it too much yet so I'll just let it go and see what happens. It doesn't change the fact that when it comes to women, I am lost as to what constitutes a sign of interest on their part. Each of my exs said they had to practically hit me over the head with a sign that said "I like you" before I realized they did... But, I guess that's for another day and another forum. Thanks again. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:22:07 AM | FYI, I think she was interested in you at first and then maybe changed her mind? We do it all the time lol. I know its a pain to most guys, but sometimes things come up or we get a "weird" and "needy" vibe from a guy and then we just turn away. I would let her go for now. If she contacts you, feel her out. If you two hit it off again, tell her you want to take her out. Dont do this over a voicemail or text. It feels "weird" lol. All the best.  | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/5/2009 11:15:45 AM | I don't think you can interpret the fact that she has quiet weekends and nothing to do as meaning she wants you to ask her out. It could mean something or it could just mean she's being honest. In fact, so far she sounds like an honest person. I get the impression her friends wanted to go so she joined them.
She seems to like talking to you and she came to the concert. I think she likes you as a friend. I don't think this necessarily means that more may not develop. If she'd like to get to know you but is uncertain about a possible romance, then she may ignore romantic references like mention of dates. It's easier to ignore sometimes than to say I'm not sure about all this. When I say 'ignore', I mean she is thinking about it. When someone is uncertain, you have a choice as to whether to give up on her or get to know her as a friend and just hang out with her and see how it goes. Something tells me she hasn't consigned you to the friends zone so much as she just doesn't know how she wants things to go. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:46:54 AM | | maybe shes one of these types who will only go out with you if her gf's approve..and they did not. FLAKE-O.... | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/6/2009 8:57:20 AM |
I write back saying I'd call her sometime this week and ask her out to dinner...
I think the majority are off base here, possibly because they went past that, which further may be possibly because you followed it with "No reply." Why were you expecting a reply? You said you would contact her! You left the ball in your own court.
When you saw her at the gym it was only, I think, Monday, so, you weren't late yet for "sometime this week," but still, the girl was expecting a phone call and she hadn't had one yet. Nor, unless you're leaving it out, did you make reference to this when you spoke to her. Ooops.
Since the week is just about over now, you may be too late, but you could still call her today and apologize for not following through sooner, and ask, "So how about that dinner?" or words to that effect. I'd say give it a shot, you don't have a date with her now, so I don't see that there's any potential loss if it's a "no."
She's probably asking friends why guys say they'll call when they don't mean it. | |
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| Unsure if she's interested...
Posted: 11/6/2009 3:46:35 PM | | For 1 You shouldn't of gave her tickets. I would have told her about the concert and said c ya there. And if she didnt show act like you forgot you even told her about the concer. I would def ask her if she wants to hang out or get a drink. Drinks $10. Date 60-100 bucks! Dont waist money on a date at first, if i took every girl on a date i prob woulda had to go bankrupt 50 times. If she turns u down for drinks or hangout more than twice id tell her u felt sorry 4 her cause shes always inviting u to the pity party for herself on how boring and no fun she is!! and when she says ur a prick tell her u have been told worse by better. Alot of girls like guys with swag and game. u gotta b a****but in a nice way. kinda sarcastic and jokingly but a little bit of a prick to where they dnt know if your joking or serious. if u get a grey goose n cranberry thrown on u then u werent doing it right, but 9 times outta 10 u will be back home w her and panties on the ceiling fan! good luck bro | |
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