| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:41:04 AM | Because it produces extremely few email responses. It does generate many "viewings". When I send email it gets viewed but no reply. Be brutally honest. Just be brutal. There's much in this shop but the window dressing apparently needss work. All comments are appreciated.
God bless, and oh, get out and vote today,
Mike | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:54:03 AM | Just some advice man,
a) Your pics are from 2008 this automatically puts you in the category of 5/15. A rule of thumb that can be applied to certian types fo people. 5 years and 15 pounds. So update your pics. Might want to mix them up some more. Biggest thing someone will tell you here.
2) Shy away from saying what think you are and let them decide. Lead them there and let them make up their minds. Talk about you, but say things that are quantative.
- You are looking for Mrs. Right not Ms Righ Now.
- You like sunsets, rainbows and unicorns
- Drinks on the beach
- Comedy Clubs
- Reading
You get my point let them say you are kind/sincere etc...
3) Talk more about what you are looking for in a woman.
4) grab their attention with a funny a story or one line interest statement " Weird things are always happening to me, when I was at the dentist he enlarged my incisors and I look like Dracula now!" . Doesn't have to be that extreme or made up, but something that will make them want to read on.
Hope this helps. | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:08:05 AM | You are absolutely correct! Your profile sucks Mike!
I think the only reason the women click on your picture is that they can’t really see what you look like. Then when they do look at your 4 lame pictures of you sitting on the same couch looking like you are stoned with no smile on your mug, they just click to the next profile.
If your first contact emails are as boring as your pictures, not to mention your profile text… well do you honestly wonder why they don’t contact you back?
You have a good degree and job. I will give one point for that.
First thing is you need new pictures. QUALITY pictures. That is going to make up 80% of your profile. The main picture needs to be a nice close up face shot with a smile on your face. Good lighting etc. Then you need 6-7 more. Clear pictures so the woman can actually see what you look like. You state your body type is athletic, but you sure can’t tell from your pictures.
Reword all your sentences, or as many as possible, to not start with “I”. Change “considered” to something else as well. Who considers you? You? Your mom?
You state you are gregarious, but I’ll tell you what! I sure didn’t pick up on any of that in your profile. Try and throw in some of that humor you use to make others laugh. Humor, if you can pull it off as a scientist (you know, so the normal population will actually get the humor) is a good thing. Everyone loves to laugh. Even me sometimes. And don’t make a joke about protons and neutrons – that would just not go over well.
You say you are a good cook. What is your favorite thing to make? And again, who is giving you high marks for your cooking? Mom again?
You say nothing about what kind of woman you are looking for. What do you want the reader to do? Guess at it? Always use positive statements about the characteristics you are looking for and not the negative ones.
“I have a great sense of humor so it must be someplace where I can be heard.” – That sounds like you will be controlling the entire conversation… Again, too many “I’s”.
Make sure you revamp your profile mister or you won’t ever have to worry about the “second date”.
Cheers! | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 7:32:52 AM | | Majic hit this dead center. Make sure when you do the re-write to add some spacing to make for easy reading. | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:04:38 AM | Yep…it’s hard to follow Majic or Ron…and Majic was kinder than usual so take what he said times 3…meaning it’s 3 times worse than he says!
A few more suggestions…
1) That 45 and single scares away a lot of women. They want to know you HAVE committed in the past and/or can commit.
2) If you don’t convince them of that in your profile, no matter what else you say, you’ve got a long, uphill road to climb (both ways).
3) Change the “generalities” of I love this and I love that to specifics…what you cook, what you do for your job (ladies like men with good jobs and like men who like their jobs).
4) The animal shelter is a HUGE RED FLAG to many women when you’re single and over 35….it hints of someone who connects with animals and not with people. Think of the stereotypical lady with a zillion cats in male garb. While it’s admirable that you volunteer, you might consider leaving this out till she gets to know you better.
5) Nix the closeness to family…it’s good that you are close, but she’s wondering if you’re a momma’s boy who can’t let go of the apron strings…or whose momma rules the roost and is the #1 woman in his life. It doesn’t matter if that’s NOT the case….it matters that the ladies reading this think it MIGHT be the case.
6) LEAVE OFF the entire dating range. You’re 45 and are willing to date as young as 30 and as old as 54. Ladies around your age are going to be leery of taking a chance ‘cause they’ll think you’re waiting for that young thing to come along.
7) Rethink the name and headline if you’re getting nada. OpenHearth is okay, but something Science and Techie is more masculine. The “deep personality” for the headline first made me think of “Deep throat”. Either case….few ladies are advertising for “Deep” and “complex” men. That’s too much too soon. First ya gotta learn to swim (and get the date) before you go swimming in the deep waters. In other words...don't have such a DEEP headline....stay "shallow" (LOL....can't believe I said that....not literally....figuratively....meaning happy and lighter.)
8) Summary: Total rewrite with new smiling photos. You have a LOT to offer, but it’s not coming across in your profile. Work on getting LOTS of specifics into your profile….a week in the life of YOU!.
Hope that helps. Best to you. DenverSky5280  | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:15:10 AM | Ah! Nice points Denver!! I loved #4 you made there. OP – Listen to the lady as she knows what she is talking about for sure!
Denver – I am really struggling trying to turn over that “new leaf” and be nice. The problem is there is the same crusty mold under each leaf. Ugh.
:-) | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 8:40:17 AM | @Majic…PLEASE don’t change….your voice is wonderful! It’s like a dog whistle….guys can hear it! FIGURATIVELY speaking of course! ARF! ARF! LOL!
OP—again, listen to Mr. Majic x 3…he knows his stuff! I think he’s being nice ‘cause the 24” of *S*N*OW* we got put him in the Xmas spirit!  | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:16:39 AM | much obliged....i'll implement all of your suggestions asap.
and as for my cooking....not only mom, but dad loved it. i used
to cook sometimes for him when he was alive...and he knew good food, growing up working in his father's Italian restaraunt in NYC.
and those guys at the super bowl parties...then again, they'll eat anything
and my elderly neighbor who is a shut-in, her daughters-in-law don't cook (shameful, I know), so I take some dishes over to her (I should really try to "use" that one, the strong yet sensitive male tripe.....)...then again she is shut-in...
Mike | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:27:46 AM | YESSS! Now you’re writing...and cooking! It works because you’re giving SPECIFICS….i.e. something like…..I’m the guy who learned to cook from my Dad…he ran a great Italian restaurant in NYC. My specialties and things I love to cook are……..
AND/OR….I’m the guy who cooks and brings food to the neighbors. My elderly neighbor is a shut-in, and I make it a point to cook extra and surprise her. She loves it when I cook for the guys on Super Bowl Sunday and bring her those spicy chicken wings.
You can say you’re warm and caring till the cows come home….but giving examples make you MEMORABLE…and more BELIEVABLE! KEEP up the good work. DenverSky5280 | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:46:25 AM | I think that I would save that “cooking for an elderly neighbor“ for a later time unless you can come up with a way to make it not sound a bit cheesy. It is surely commendable, so I think it will be endearing when presented in a discussion.
Edit - Denver just gave you the perfect way to present that. Gotta love that lady!! | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 10:14:14 AM | OP - I think I would reconsider telling the readers you are Italian man. I mean we all know they aren’t that hot of cooks. Puh-lease!
Hehe… Again, go with Denver on her comments there. Your profile will be a better read to the ladies!
Ron – You just wish this young man lived next door to you so he would be dropping off free food to YOU! Course it will probably just be some pasta with Ragu poured over the top. Freakin Italians, I tell ya. | |
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| my profile is a real dud...
Posted: 11/3/2009 11:23:09 AM | | There's that....plus my world class chili...for which I grow my own tomatoes and jalapenos.....no one's ever puked yet....well one guy did, missed the winning field goal. But was it the chili or the beer? We'll never know. But I know what I wanna believe | |
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