| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 12:17:01 PM | Some of y'all are really very good at objectively reviewing someone's profile; regardless of whether or not you "agree" with their lifestyle and their preference. That's a huge kudos to you!
And, that's why I started this thread - to get objective critiques on my profile, please.
Thanks so much.
~JLS | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:17:09 PM | Oh man, you are a nice lady and I am going to have to be nice to you in return. This is going to be a stretch for me. So be patient!!
Pictures – while you have a lot of face shots which is great, you need to have the old “full body” picture as well for the guys. Remember most of us don’t read all that hot. Your main picture should be #4 or #7. That is the one that the guys will click on, or move away from. I would lose the ones of you taken with the web cam as they are pretty bad. Dark and fuzzy = bad.
You should really put the city you are living in up in WY too. That is one huge state! That way the guys will know what time on Thursday they will need to leave in order to pick you up Friday night for your date. Can you tell I have driven across it before?? :-)
LOL – while I laughed at your first paragraph you may want to lose the “not sure I want a full meal” part. Guys are idiots and that could be interpreted a couple of ways. I mean, I didn’t read anything into it at ALL….
The guys really (assuming they can read) want to know about YOU. So that second paragraph is just a waste of words that a normal guy will get bored with.
ONLINE is where you are… so you gotta be able to describe yourself and let us know what makes you, YOU! Guys aren’t going to be checking back in with you to see your daily blogs on your profile, so sell yourself well!
I wouldn’t even go into the marry again thing. Guys are going to want to just date for a while first. I mean at least a couple of weeks before they pop that M question at you. You are here to date, maybe find someone that “gets” you and become friends. That all happens through the dating process. THEN you get do the M thing. (I can’t even use that word anymore… sorry! It makes my stomach hurt just thinking it.)
Your list of qualities in a man you are looking for should be turned into a couple of paragraphs, not "The List". Some people use them, but they always look to me when I read them as DEMANDS. Hear what I’m saying? Also, while I completely understand the sexual abstinence thing for faith reasons. I am not sure I would go into that one on your profile. Me being the stupid guy I am already assumed that of you prior to reading it. If I got that one maybe there is hope for the men in the world. Who knows.
I would kill the tidbit section too. The first line will only work if the reader understand Chinese, or whatever language you wrote that in!
Fries in mustard? Oh yeah, I forgot… you live in WY! That explains it!
Best of luck to you lady!
A big non-alcoholic Cheers to you!! | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:54:08 PM | You have really nice photos of your face but you need at least one full body photo.
You have one of the longest interest lists that I have seen, lots for a guy to grab onto but you have a very random “about me” section. I never got a handle on who you are.
The only part about you that I remember from that is “no sex until marriage” you are 45 and have been married. Not very many guys on here that are going to go for that requirement!! You may have a bit more luck on a religious site but I think most people your age are going to want sex to be part of the dating scene.
Good luck to you,
Ron | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:57:38 PM | OP - Ron is probably pretty much on target with his comments as usual. I didn't go there with you... but Ron took it there anyway!
I don't know if there are any "free" sites for Christians or not. But you would probably have much better luck on a site like that, than POF as you will have more common things in regards to your faith.
Good luck to you. | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:15:15 PM | | Majic, you know I always shoot at the goal posts (or net in your case), I see no need to beat around the bush. I am right on this one. In all the reviews I have done, I have seen only one guy that said no sex until marriage. | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 3:30:05 PM | Thank you both for your replies! Hang on a minute while I finish laughing, and then I have some questions for y'all.
Describing who I am online - Help me out here, please. I need some suggestions as to what to talk about. Online dating is so completely different than face-to-face dating. Offline, men learn things about me gradually (I know y'all know this; bear with me). For example, my late husband and I actually got to know quite a bit about each other before we ever went on our first date. Subjects came up naturally, and talking about myself was a bit more easier and relaxed. Also, after he died, I kind put my life on hold for quite a while. It's really only been since the beginning of this year that I've started to really *live* again and I've also found out that I'm an entirely different person from who I was. Bottom-lining what I just wrote, there's really not a lot I've done lately that's very conversational nor interesting.
Interests - Ron, would you suggest my gleaning the list a bit more?
Photos - Yeah, I do need some full-body shots; I won't argue that a bit. The full-body shots that I do have are not current, nor are they very "up-close." They're also not depictionally accurate, as I've lost a great deal of weight during past couple of years. Suggestions?
Sex. MajicWonder, what was it about reading my profile that led you to realize that I practice abstinence (before you even read it)? You actually get kudos for being able to discern that; but I ask because even with that blurb, it still doesn't seem to be clear enough with some men (Christian dating sites included). And Ron, you're right; not many men are going to agree with my stance; not many women do neither.
Speaking of Christian dating sites, I am on one; and I've actually had more responses here in POF than over there. Go figure.
I appreciate y'all's time. Thank you.
Oh, btw, Majic . . . you should try fries with mustard! They're awesome. But, even here in Wyoming, people look at me like I have two heads when they see me dipping fries into mustard. | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:13:48 PM | I think you already figured out that Majic and I are buddies although we have never met. Interesting how that happens. He hates football which is my favorite sport and I really dislike hockey which he loves, go figure.
You are right it is real hard to describe who you are and that does not depend on how long you were married nor how long you have been alone.
Sit down with a pen and paper think what a date might be like and what kind of information you might share on those 1st and 2nd dates write those things down and then start to compose sentences that describe who you are, what you are interested in and what you like to do. I would take a few of the interests you have listed and expand on them. How often you do them and why.
As to sex, the guys really are not believing that you intend to be abstinent. I really don’t know how to address this so I will just state my feelings on the subject. I am a firm believer in God and Christianity but I think that in the interpretations of scripture things got messed up. I believe that sex is good, healthy and something that God wanted for us. Not that I think promiscuity is the way to go but I think abstinence is just the opposite extreme.
I hope I have been of some help. Feel free to email me directly if you wish.
Ron | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:26:56 PM | OMGosh!
Sex and majicwonder in one sentence!! YAY ME! Hehhe…
You are more than welcome on the profile help BTW. I made that wild assumption from the simple fact my father is a retired pastor of 45 years and I was “sort of” involved in church from a very young age (like 5 days old). Your faith comes out pretty strong in your profile and what is important to you… and I actually read your profile and used all 3 of my functioning brain cells at once.
I just started eating mustard on burgers and hotdogs a couple months ago. I think I will pass on the fries offer. Thanks tho!
And believe it or not… I knew that wasn’t Chinese! I amaze myself sometimes.
I think you should just talk about some of the things you enjoy doing in your profile… or places that you would like to visit someday. Writing a profile is much harder than reviewing one for sure.
Ron – Who said we were friends! Sheesh. | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:19:27 PM | I think I have a lot of thinking to do as to how to rewrite my profile.
I do appreciate the input from the two of y'all, though!
Majic -
Sex and majicwonder in one sentence!! YAY ME! Hehhe… 
I hate to burst your bubble. But, they were actually written as two separate sentences.  | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:26:01 PM | Thats true. But it is the closest he has gotten to sex in a while from what I understand!! So be nice to him. He really can be a nice guy, his daughter told me so!!
Ron | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/3/2009 6:33:52 PM | | Your "first date" section is longer than your "about me" section. It should be the other way around. You seem very nervous when describing a date. Just scrap that whole section and mention a few ideas and leave it at that. Would also avoid quoting scripture in your profile....it's just not the place for it. People are on a dating site to learn about YOU, not the Bible. XV | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/4/2009 3:12:42 PM | Thanks for your time and your review, xvermonter!
_
I uploaded a couple of full-body shots. They're both less than a year old in timeframe.
I'm not too wild about them; the coat I'm wearing in both photos still doesn't give a whole lot of "visual information". My face isn't very clear in them, neither. Additionally, as I mentioned yesterday, I'm smaller now than I was then - by about 3 sizes; so they're not completely accurate as to what I currently look like.
Having said all that, I'd like to hear your opinions and ideas, please. | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:39:14 AM | | Need all new pics. Whats the point of having a pic from 2006 we dont care what you looked like back then we want to know what you look like now. You might as well have a pic when you were 16 | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/5/2009 8:46:19 AM | Thanks for your reply!
I'm actually working on getting new photos; but what is up is what is most current.
All the photos that people take of me are with their cameras; not mine. I actually thought about asking some of them to send me a few shots, but decided against it because I didn't want to get into a conversation as to why I want them. | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/5/2009 9:34:08 AM | Thank you, thank you!
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I appreciate everyone's responses and time to help me with this.
This actually turned out to be a lot of fun. | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:09:54 AM | | Well that is because you are an open and fun person to chat with. I have noticed on a recent review that not everyone is that way. | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:02:18 PM | Ron, y'all probably hear this all the time, but you and Majic are awesome! 
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I have a couple of questions, please.
(1)
My profile says that I'm 45 - but in a few days, I'll be 46.
I was presuming that the age would automatically change on someone's birthday (since one's birthdate is part of the registration section when editing one' profile).
However, after a reading a couple of threads, I'm guessing the age *doesn't* automatically change?
Does this mean that if I want to be accurate, then I will need to create an entirely new profile after my birthday?
And if I don't create a new profile, how off-putting is that going to be to some people?
To me, it's not that big of a deal. And of course, it would be a bit odd if 38.4 years from now, I'm still here telling everyone I'm 45. But, also, if I'm still fishing when I'm 83, that would probably at least give some people some reading entertainment, doncha think?
(2)
I changed the city I live in (originally, it was blank).
Is what I put acceptable?
No, I'm not over-analyzing; why do y'all ask? | |
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| Your insights would be most appreciated!
Posted: 11/5/2009 6:33:53 PM | the age should automatically change.........You will come up for the users that are close to your zip/postal code.....
so that narrows it down ..... | |
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